Traditional: The Chandler's Wife
The Chandler's Wife
Traditional
One verse and chorus: .mp3
(103 KB)
"The Chandler's Wife" is performed by
The Sassy Lassies (Liza Kay).
Notes: this can be sung as
"I" or "a man" depending whether you prefer
first or third person voice. Liza performs it in the third
person. The last verse is always in 3rd person. Some common
alternatives to the words Liza sings are noted in brackets. The
KNOCKS could be claps, snaps, drum beats, etc. -- any sound that
implies "censored".
A man (I) walked into the chandler's shop some candles for
to buy,
He (I) looked around the chandler's shop but no one did he
(I) spy.
So he turned upon his heels and to the door he sped
[alt 3rd line: I was disappointed and some angry words I
said, ]
When he (I) heard the sound of a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK up above
my head.
When he (I) heard the sound of a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK up above
my head.
Well this young man was a bold young man so up the
stairs he sped,
[alt 1st line: I was slick and I was quick, and up the stairs
I sped, ]
And very surprised was he (I) to find the chandler's wife in
bed;
And with her was a fine young man of most incredible size,
And they were having a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK right before his
(my) eyes.
And they were having a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK right before his
(my) eyes.
When the fun was over and done and the lady raised her
head,
She was quite surprised to find him (me) standing by the bed
"If you would keep my secret sir, if you would be so
kind,
You may drop in for a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK whenever you feel
inclined."
"You may drop in for a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK whenever you
feel inclined."
So, many a day and many a night when the chandler wasn't
home,
Down to the chandler shop, for candles he (I) would roam.
But nary a one she gave to him (me), but gave to him (me)
instead,
Just a little bit more of the KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK to light his
(my) way to bed.
Just a little bit more of the KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK to light his
(my) way to bed.
So, all you married men take heed, whenever you go to
town,
If you must leave your woman alone, be sure to tie her down.
Or, if you would be kind to her, just lay her right down on
the floor,
And give her so much of that KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK she doesn't
want any more.
And give her so much of that KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK she doesn't
want any more.
Alternately:
This version came from the Traditions database, and although I don't know of
anyone
who performs it this way, I thought it was an interesting
variation.
THE CHANDLER'S WIFE
A tailor boy went to the chandler's shop, some candles for to
buy
But when he got there and looked around, no chandler could he
spy
So then he shouted loudly out, fit to raise the dead,
When he heard the sound of a * * * , right above his
head.(2X)
Well, the tailor boy being a smart young lad, he bounded up
the stairs
Determined to find out who it was,and catch them unawares
And there he found the master, with the mistress, making free
And they were having a * * * as plain as he could see (2X)
Now when the master's job was done, the mistress turned her
head
And there she spied the tailor boy, a-standing by the bed
She said to him, "If you'll agree to what I have in
mind,
Why you can come up for a * * *, whenever you're so
inclined." (2X)
So listen all ye married men, who travel from town to town
You'd better keep your wife locked up, you'd better tie her
down
For If you do not heed me, just as sure as you have a wife,
Why, she'll be having a * * * most every day of her life.