Rathflaed DuNoir: Poetry<br>
BEOWULF<br>
by Rathflaed DuNoir<br>
The Black Bard of Meridies<br>
mka: Stephen R. Melvin<br>
See Grendel. See Grendel eat. Eat, Grendel, eat. Grendel<br>
is eating a few Danish for breakfast. Grendel especially<br>
likes the ones with the yellow coating on top. This is good<br>
because there are so many of them.<br>
Yummy!<br>
See Hrothgar. He is sad. Sad, sad, sad. His warriors are<br>
leaving. They are sad because Grendel has eaten many of their<br>
friends. They do not want to play with Grendel anymore<br>
because Grendel is mean.<br>
Hrothgar is also sad because his food is almost gone.<br>
Grendel eats the cows and pigs and horsies, too. Grendel is<br>
very hungry. Eat, Grendel, eat. Hrothgar is also sad because<br>
his wife will not stop complaining. Whine, wife, whine.<br>
Hrothgar has tried to stop listening to her for three days<br>
now.<br>
Drink, Hrothgar, drink. Hrothgar is almost out of mead.<br>
Poor Hrothgar.<br>
See Beowulf. He is big and strong and handsome. He has<br>
long Viking braids and pointy horns on his hat and a really<br>
big sword. Ooh, Beowulf, ooh! He is sailing to Denmark to<br>
visit Hrothgar.<br>
Sail, Beowulf, sail. He does not know that Hrothgar is<br>
almost out of mead. Poor Beowulf.<br>
Beowulf likes to sail. Beowulf likes to drink even more.<br>
Poor Beowulf. When he gets to Denmark, there is only enough<br>
mead left for one feast. Poor Beowulf. Poor Hrothgar. Poor<br>
warriors. Poor Grendel. Beowulf is very mad. Mad, mad, mad.<br>
Beowulf vows to slay Grendel. Vow, Beowulf, vow. He<br>
promises to do many great feats. He swears to return with<br>
Grendel's head. Drink, Beowulf, drink.<br>
Beowulf is lying very still. Is he waiting to surprise<br>
Grendel? No, he is not waiting to surprise Grendel. Is he<br>
meditating? No, he is not meditating. Is he practicing an<br>
Arcane magical ritual involving a lawn chair, six milk<br>
bottles and a tuning fork? No, he is unconscious. Won't he be<br>
surprised when he wakes up and they tell him about his<br>
promises?<br>
Won't he be happy to know that he has a quest? Won't he<br>
feel grand when the warriors cheer him? No, Beowulf will not<br>
feel grand for awhile. He has a headache. Poor Beowulf.<br>
Please stop cheering warriors.<br>
O see the castle. It is very quiet. Is it quiet because<br>
everyone is afraid of Grendel? No it is not quiet because<br>
everyone is afraid of Grendel. Is it quiet because everyone<br>
is afraid of Beowulf? Yet, it is because everyone is afraid<br>
of Beowulf. Beowulf has had a very bad headache for three<br>
days. Last night, Beowulf's head hurt so bad that he was very<br>
mad. Mad, mad, mad. Grendel came over to play and made too<br>
much noise. Beowulf was very upset. Beowulf was so upset that<br>
he ripped Grendel's arm off and hung it over the door. Poor<br>
Grendel. Poor warriors. Smile at Beowulf. Just do it quietly.<br>
O see the feast hall. It is bright and cheery. There is<br>
food on the tables and mead in the horns and a great big arm<br>
over the door. See the feasters. They are singing and<br>
laughing and drinking. Are they happy that Grendel is dead?<br>
Yes, they are happy that Grendel is dead.<br>
Are they happy that they can laugh and sing and play<br>
again? Yes, they are they happy that they can laugh and sing<br>
and play again. But most of all they are happy that there is<br>
more mead. Drink, Beowulf, drink.<br>
O see Hrothgar. He is happy. Happy, happy, happy.<br>
Is he happy that Grendel is dead? Is he happy that there<br>
is more mead? Yes, but he is mostly happy because his wife<br>
has stopped complaining. Smile, Hrothgar, smile.<br>
O see Grendel's mother. She is sad. Sad, sad, sad. Is she<br>
sad because Grendel is gone? Is she sad because her other<br>
children never call? Is she sad because the Angels are losing<br>
again? Yes, she is sad because of all these things. But she<br>
is mostly sad because she won't get any more mother's day<br>
presents. This makes her mad. Mad, mad, mad.<br>
She gets so mad that she decides to have some Danish for<br>
dessert. That is silly. Everyone knows that you are supposed<br>
to have Danish for breakfast.<br>
Silly, silly, silly.<br>
In fact it is so silly that we think that Grendel's mother<br>
may have had something besides food for dinner. We think that<br>
Grendel's mother may have been drinking. Just like Beowulf.<br>
O see Beowulf. Now that there is mead again he is drinking<br>
some more. Drink, Beowulf, drink. When Grendel's mother comes<br>
to the feast, Beowulf has already drunk quite a bit. So has<br>
Grendel's mother. He thinks she is the most beautiful woman<br>
in the world and makes a pass at her. Pass, Beowulf, pass.<br>
She is caught off guard and says no. Tease, monster, tease.<br>
Beowulf tries again. She leaves and he goes home with her.<br>
Grendel's mother was never heard from again. Beowulf was very<br>
quiet about the whole situation.<br>
Quiet, quiet, quiet.<br>
THE END<br>
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