From folktalk@leo.vsla.edu Fri Mar  8 16:04:43 1996


Subject: Re: bawdy poem hard-to-find 
Kathryn LaMar whispered in utmost secrecy:
>
>Yes, I would like a copy (or access thereto) of the "Night of the King's
>Castration."  Does just one listmember count as "group" permission, or do you
>need permission from each individual?  Perhaps you could send it to the list
>with a subject heading like "Lyrics That Could be Considered Offensive" so
>that potential offendees could set their killfiles ahead of time.



Here's my copy...offensive alert....


T'was the night of the King's Castration & they were throwing a
royal ball -- his left one.  The King cried, not because he had
to, but because he had too! (high, squeaky voice here)

"Balls," cried the Queen, "If I had two, I'd be King."
The counts, dis-counts, and no-accounts were sitting squarely
about the Round Table throwing camel turds, for in those days,
Bullshit was unknown.  In rode David on a tall stud horse; in
strode the King in a diamond-studded jock strap.
"Hole," cried David.  "What hole?" cried the King.
"Ass-hole!" cried David, thus scoring one for the common people.

"Where's the Princess," cried David.  "She's in bed with
diptheria," replied the King.  "What, is that damned Greek son
of a bitch back again?" cried David.  For his impudence, David
was thrown in the lair of the Mangy Beast.

He circled the Beast and grabbed him by the left nut.
"Ouch, that tickles," said the Beast.  "What tickles?" Queried
David.  "Test-tickles," replied the Beast, thus scoring one for
the Mangy Beast.  David squeezed harder and the Beast shit at
random, but Random ducked and shit at the King.  "Ah, shit,"
cried the King, and 60,000 loyal subjects bent and grunted to
their utmost, for as we all know, in those days,

                The King's Word was Law.

David squeezed harder, and the Beast died.  For his bravery, he
was called forth, but he slipped on a camel turd and came in
fifth.  But, there was still no sign of the Princess.  "Where's
the Princess," screamed David.  "Ah, screw the Princess" replied
the King, and that, my friends, is how 60,000 loyal subjects
died in a mad rush to reach the Princess's bedchamber; for as we
all know, in those days,

                The King's Word was Law.