The Threshing Machine

'Twas way down in Devon that I did hear tell,

I first set my eyes on our little Nell,

She was so pretty and only sixteen

When I ups and I shows 'er my thrashing machine.



Chorus:

I 'ad 'er, I 'ad 'her, I 'ad 'er, I ay

I 'ad 'er, I 'ad 'her, I 'ad 'er, I ay

I 'ad 'er by night and I 'ad 'her by day,

And I ups and I shows 'er the West Country way.



The barn door was open and I steps inside,

Some hay in the corner I espied,

She worked the throttle and I worked the steam,

When I ups and I shows 'er my thrashing machine.



"Oh, father, oh, father, I've come to confess,

I've left a young maid in a hell of a mess,

Her blouse is all tattered, her tits are all bare,

And there's something inside her that shouldn't be there."



"Oh, son, oh, son, you should have known better,

To woo a fair maid without a French letter."

"Oh, father, oh, father you do me unjust.

I used one of yours and the fucking thing bust."



Six months later all is not well,

The poor little maid is beginning to swell,

And under her apron can clearly be seen,

The terrible works of my thrashing machine.



Nine months later all has gone well,

A new little babe for our little Nell,

And under his nappy can clearly be seen,

A brand new two-cylinder thrashing machine.



As sung to the ubiquitous "Sweet Betsy from Pike," this ballad is is reasonably well known in rugby circles, though not often reported.  It was forwarded to the editor in October, 1996, by Mike Williams of Devon, England, as sung by Ron Wyman who learned the
 song in Devon about 1955.  Wyman's version is available from V.R. Products, Axminster, Devon
EX13 6HS UK (telephone: 0297 55303). 
A request for information about the ballad posted on October 21, 1996, to the usegroup mailing list bawdy-l (bawdy-l@bdragon.shore.net
) elicted a response from Abby Sale of Orlando, Florida, noting of the chorus of "Threshing Maching" 

I 'ad 'er, I 'ad 'her, I 'ad 'er, I ay

I 'ad 'er, I 'ad 'her, I 'ad 'er, I ay

I 'ad 'er by night and I 'ad 'her by day,

And I ups and I shows 'er the West Country way.


"

Some marginal help here.  'The Old German Clockwinder' has no obvious
 relationship to tune or song but the chorus is:



I toodalum, I toodalum, I toodalum, I aye;

I toodalum, I toodalum in the old fashioned way.

I toodalum, I toodalum, I toodalum, I aye;

Well, I winds 'em by night and I mends 'em by day.





In response to the same message, Lee Billings (lee-billings@juno.com) on October 22, 1996
, replied, "There's a version of this on Michael Longcor's "Lovers, Heroes, and
 Rogues."  The present editor has not heard that recording.