The Sea Crab The Canfield collection, amassed in the first months of 1926 from correspondents across the country, has a variant whose narrative deteriorates into slapstick. Canfield's unidentified contributor attributed this version to "barge men." [ C ] Come along jolly fishermen, we love you very well -- Holy gee, but ain't it cold? Come along jolly fishermen, we love you very well. Have you any more soft shell crabs for to sell? Singing one-eye, two-eye, die. I grabbed that crab by the very backbone, And I lugged and I lugged until I got the bastard home. When I got home Mary Jane was asleep. So I put it in the piss pot for the night to keep. In the middle of the night, Jane got up to do her due, And the God damn sea crab grabbed her by the flue. Said she, "John Henry! just as sure as you're born, There's a devil in the piss pot got me by his horn." Said the old lady, "Put on your overalls." And the damned sea crab grabbed me by the balls. Said she, "John Henry, can't you do a little bit?" And she socked me in the eye with a stocking full of shit. Now my story's ended and I can't say no more, There's an apple up my asshole and you can have the core. [ D ] A second, unattributed variant in the Canfield collection provides an alternative to the unexpected "stocking full of shit" line: I said, "Mary Ann, won't you let a little fart To blow his face and your ass apart." Mary Ann she tried and she tried a little bit And she filled the crab's face full of shit. [ E ] Dating from approximately the same era as the two Canfield versions, a text collected by Garrard Berk [sp?] of Minneapolis, Minnesota, runs under the title of Musha De, Musha Die": "Oh, Fisherman, oh, fisherman, I wish you well. Have you any soft shells you wish to sell? Musha de, musha die. Yes, kind sir, I have but two, And I am keeping them here purposely for you. Musha de, musha die. Well, I grabbed one by his backbone, And I rustled and I tussled 'til I got the bastard home. Musha de, musha die. When I got home Mary Ann was asleep, And I put the crab in the pisspot for to keep. Musha de, musha die. Mary Ann got up for to use the pot, And the god-damned crab caught her by the twat. Musha de, musha die. Says Mary Ann to me, "Pat, as sure as you're born, There's a divil in the pisspot and he's got me on his horn." Musha de, musha die. And now, kind folks, my story is o'er. There's an apple in me asshole and you all can have the core. Musha de, musha die. This stage-Irish version was sung by Sergeant Andrew Boyke, U.S.A. (ret.) sometime prior to 1950 when it was contributed to the Michigan State University folklore archive. Sgt. Boyke, "of Irish descent, enlisted in the army previous to the first world war," Berk wrote of his informant. "He is a tough, hearty and kindly fellow of some fix feet in height. For the past eight years he has been the military instructor at the St. Paul Academy. he seldom swears or tells an off-color story but when he does, there are no holds barred." The text is now archived as MSU FSMTZ.1 (Folksongs: Misc. Titles: Ballads: Humorous: 20) in the Indiana University Folklore Archives. [ F ] Oh, the goddamn crab, he hid behind a stone, And I pulled and I pulled till I got the bastard home. Sing folderol deriddly addy ay. When I got home, Mrs. Murphy was asleep. So I put him in the pisspot just for to keep. Sing folderol, etc. In the night, Mrs. Murphy, she got up to do her dues, And the goddamn crab, he got her by the flues. Sing folderol, etc. Says she, "Mr. Murphy, as sure as you're born, There's a devil in the pisspot stickin' in his horn." Sing folderol, etc. And just to make sure, I raised up her clothes. The goddamn crab, he got me by the nose. Sing folderol, etc. Says I, "Mrs. Murphy, can you allow me a little fart To blow my nose and your ass apart?" Sing folderol, etc. Oh, she squeezed and she squeezed, and she squeezed a little bit, She filled my face right full of shit. Sing folderol, etc. This is the end of my song and I'll sing to you no more. There's an apple in my asshole and you can take and core. Sing folderol, etc. Collected by Paul Gifford of Flint, Michigan, from fiddler William Bigford prior to 1982. Bigford, born in 1898, was a lifelong musician and singer. For Bigford's biography, see "Gilderoy," in this "Something Old" section or in the "Introduction" to this supplement. [ G ] This version of the ballad is virtually word-for-word the first recovered, in the Percy Folio Manuscript dated to 1620. As such it presents an interesting problem for contemporary folklorists. Forwarded to the editor by Susan Johns of Austin, Texas, on June 22, 1996, this version is reportedly sung in Society of Creative Anachronisms and Renaissance Faire circles. Those like Johns who participate in these staged events are painstaking in their effort to recreate the past. In this case, a knowledgeable, though unidentified researcher has located either a copy of the Percy folio manuscript or its recent reprinting. (See above.) However, that source does not indicate a tune. Thus those in the 20th Century who have deliberately sought to recreate an artificial past have done no more than those who used the 19th Century Forget Me Not Songster as a source for the words to any number of ballads in oral tradition. If we accept as traditional collected Forget Me Not texts of "Barbara Allen" (Child 84), then logically we must term this later, deliberate recreation equally traditional. Both use printed texts to preserve or revivify a ballad. In the case of "Barbara Allen," singers apparently knew one of the four tunes associated with the ballad, and needed only a text, offered by the songster, to create song. In the case of "The Sea Crab," the singers have borrowed a familiar traditional tune: [What is tune of "The Sea Crab"?] As "The Sea Crabb" [sic], Miss Johns' text is printed in a Xeroxed song collection attributed to Joseph Bethancourt of Tucson, Arizona, "The Black Book of Locksley," p. 73, where it is credited to the unseen "Bawdy Verse, A Pleasant Collection." It was a man of Africa had a fair wife, Fairest that ever I saw the days of my life. With a ging, Boys, ging, ging, boys, ging. Tarradiddle, farradiddle, ging, boys, ging! This goodwife was big-belly'd and with a lad And ever she longed for a sea crabb. With a ging, Boys, ging, ging, boys, ging. Tarradiddle, farradiddle, ging, boys, ging! The goodman rose in the morning and put on his hose He went to the seaside and followed his nose. With a ging, etc. Says, "God speed, Fisherman, sailing on the sea; Hast thou any crabbs in thy bote for to sell to me?" With a ging, etc. "I have crabbs in my bote one, two, three. I have crabbs in my bote for to sell thee." With a ging, etc. The good man went home and ere he wist Put the crabb in the Chamberpot where his wife pisst, With a ging, etc. The good wife she went to do as she was wont: Up started the Crabbfish and catcht her by the cunt. With a ging, etc. "Alas," quoth the goodwife, "that ever I was born; The Devil is in the pisspot and has me on his horns." With a ging, etc. "If you be a crabb or crabfish by kind, Thou'll let thy hold go with a blast of cold wind." With a ging, etc. The good man laid to his mouth and began to blow Thinking thereby that the Crabb would let go. With a ging, etc. "Alas!" quoth the goodman, "that ever I came hither; He has joined my wife's tail and my nose together!" With a ging, etc. The good man called his neighbours in with great wonder To part his wife's tail and his nose asunder. With a ging, etc. [ G ] This version of the ballad is virtually word-for-word the first recovered in print, the Percy Folio Manuscript dated to 1620. As such it presents an interesting problem for contemporary folklorists. Forwarded to the editor by Susan Johns of Austin, Texas, on June 22, 1996, this version is reportedly sung in Society of Creative Anachronisms and Renaissance Fair circles. Those like Johns who participate in these staged events are painstaking in their effort to recreate the past. In this case, a knowledgeable, though unidentified researcher has located either a copy of the Percy folio manuscript or its recent reprinting. (See above.) However, that source does not indicate a tune. Thus those who have deliberately sought to recreate an artificial past have done no more than those who used the 19th Century Forget Me Not Songster as a source for the words to any number of ballads in oral tradition. If we affirm that collected Forget Me Not texts of "Barbara Allen" (Child 84) are traditional, then logically we must term this deliberate recreation equally traditional. As "The Sea Crabb" [sic], Miss Johns' text is printed in a Xeroxed song collection, attributed to Joseph Bethancourt of Tucson, Arizona, "The Black Book of Locksley," p. 73, where it is credited to the unseen "Bawdy Verse, A Pleasant Collection." It was a man of Africa had a fair wife, Fairest that ever I saw the days of my life. With a ging, Boys, ging, ging, boys, ging. Tarradiddle, farradiddle, ging, boys, ging! This goodwife was big-belly'd and with a lad And ever she longed for a sea crabb. With a ging, Boys, ging, ging, boys, ging. Tarradiddle, farradiddle, ging, boys, ging! The goodman rose in the morning and put on his hose He went to the seaside and followed his nose. With a ging, etc. Says, "God speed, Fisherman, sailing on the sea; Hast thou any crabbs in thy bote for to sell to me?" With a ging, etc. "I have crabbs in my bote one, two, three. I have crabbs in my bote for to sell thee." With a ging, etc. The good man went home and ere he wist Put the crabb in the Chamberpot where his wife pisst, With a ging, etc. The good wife she went to do as she was wont: Up started the Crabbfish and catcht her by the cunt. With a ging, etc. "Alas," quoth the goodwife, "that ever I was born; The Devil is in the pisspot and has me on his horns." With a ging, etc. "If you be a crabb or crabfish by kind, Thou'll let thy hold go with a blast of cold wind." With a ging, etc. The good man laid to his mouth and began to blow Thinking thereby that the Crabb would let go. With a ging, etc. "Alas!" quoth the goodman, "that ever I came hither; He has joined my wife's tail and my nose together!" With a ging, etc. The good man called his neighbours in with great wonder To part his wife's tail and his nose asunder. With a ging, etc.