181.  INSIDE THOSE RED PLUSH BREECHES
Melody--???

John Thomas was a servant tall,
The pride and joy of the servant's hall,
Although he only had one ball,
Inside those red plush breeches.

CHORUS: And he wore red plush breeches,
And he wore red plush breeches,
And he wore red plush breeches 
That kept John Thomas warm.

Out of all the servants at the servant's post,
Mary was the one he loved the most.
And for her his ball would roast,
Inside those red plush breeches.

They went for a walk one moonlit night,
The stars were out and the moon was bright.
Things became extremely tight,
Inside those red plush breeches.

They found a stump to sit upon,
They found a stack to lay upon,
Next day Mary sewed buttons on,
That pair of red plush breeches.

Mary had an illegit,
It's face looked like a piece of shit.
And every time she looked at it,
She cursed those red plush breeches.

Now Mary laid poor John a trap,
And he fell for it like a sap,
And now he's got a dose of clap,
Inside those red plush breeches.

From Paul Woodford, "Hash Hymns II" (Honolulu, Hawaii, 1994)