From jencray@corp.webtv.net Tue Jul 15 11:18:42 1997 Return-Path: Received: from mizar.usc.edu (mizar.usc.edu [128.125.253.135]) by almaak.usc.edu (8.8.4/8.8.4/usc) with ESMTP id LAA25876 for ; Tue, 15 Jul 1997 11:18:38 -0700 (PDT) Received: from dotdot.artemis.com (firewall-user@doornail.artemis.com [206.67.152.67]) by mizar.usc.edu (8.8.4/8.8.4/usc) with ESMTP id LAA10181 for ; Tue, 15 Jul 1997 11:18:36 -0700 (PDT) Received: (from uucp@localhost) by dotdot.artemis.com (8.7.5/8.7.3) id LAA00148; Tue, 15 Jul 1997 11:18:26 -0700 (PDT) Received: from burgher.artemis.com(204.254.74.92) by dotdot.artemis.com via smap (3.2) id xma000102; Tue, 15 Jul 97 11:18:01 -0700 Received: from [172.17.104.143] (dhcp-104-143.artemis.com [172.17.104.143]) by burgher.artemis.com (8.8.5/8.7.3) with ESMTP id LAA03889; Tue, 15 Jul 1997 11:18:00 -0700 (PDT) X-Sender: jencray@pophost-1 Message-Id: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Date: Tue, 15 Jul 1997 11:18:47 -0700 To: Ed Cray , Marc Igler From: Jennifer Cray Subject: more funnies ... Status: RO X-Status: A X-Sender: anita@pophost-1 Date: Tue, 15 Jul 1997 10:31:55 -0700 To: artemis@corp.webtv.net From: Anita Simoni Subject: a quick laugh.... Mime-Version: 1.0 Sender: owner-artemis@corp.webtv.net Precedence: bulk Dear Abby - >>>> >>>> I am writing to your advice-column because of a serious problem I >>>> am facing. You see, I am a Vietnam-era deserter from the U. S. >>>> Marines, and I have a cousin who works for Microsoft. My mother >>>> peddles Nazi literature to Girl Scouts and my father (a former >>>> dentist) is in jail for 30 years for raping most of his patients >>>> while they were under anesthesia. The sole supports of our large >>>> family, including myself and my $500-a-week heroin habit, are my >>>> uncle (master pick-pocket Benny "The Fingers") and my aunt and kid >>>> sisters, who are well-known streetwalkers. >>>> >>>> My problem is this: I have just gotten engaged to the most >>>> beautiful, sweetest girl in the world. She is just sweet sixteen, >>>> and we are going to marry as soon as she can escape from reform >>>> school. To support ourselves, we are going to move to Mexico and >>>> start a fake Aztec souvenir factory staffed by child labor. We >>>> look forward to bringing our kids into the family business. But >>>> -- I am worried that my family will not make a good impression on >>>> hers, once she has a chance to meet them. >>>> >>>> In your opinion, Abby: Should I -- or shouldn't I -- let her >>>> know about my cousin who works for Microsoft? >>>> >>>>