Mademoiselle from Armentieres No woman achieved the popularity of the legendary mademoiselle from Armentieres, or Gay Paree, or other villes during the first world war. While carefully scrubbed texts still found their way into children's music books, the soldiers' original is much more vibrant. Because unexpurgated texts from the World War I era are hard to come by, the multiple versions gathered in early 1926 by Hubert Canfield are reprinted here as texts A-L. The A, B, C and D texts obviously are derived from, or owe inspiration to "Snapoo." Those verses are often intermingled with other, unrelated stanzas exemplified in the E-L texts. The unusual stanzaic form shared by "Mademoiselle," "Snapoo," and "The Little Red Train" apparently facilitates borrowings between these songs. See the L text, here, with verses from "The Little Red Train" intruding in "Mademoiselle." [ A ] Mademoiselle of Armentieres, Parlez-vous? Mademoiselle of Armentieres, Parlez-vous? Up ze stairs and in ze bed, And there she lost her maidenhead. Hinky, dinky, parlez-vous? First three months and all is well, Parlez-vous? First three months and all is well, Parlez-vous? First three months and all is well The next three months she begins to swell. Hinky, dinky, parlez-vous? Nine months gone, she gave a grunt, And a little marine jumped out of her cunt. The little marine, he grew and grew, And now he's scragging the women too. The little marine went over the top And made the Kaiser such his cock. The little marine he sailed away, And left his girl in the family way. [ B ] Landlord, have you some fine wine For a tired soldier from the line. Oui, m'sieur, I've a daughter fine Of graceful form and slender line. They went upstairs and went to bed And then he took her maidenhead. (or) And zowie! went her maidenhead. Three months passed and all was well. Six months passed and there was hell For a little kid began to yell. [sic] Nine months passed and she did grunt And a little marine came out of her cunt. The little boy, he grew and he grew So now he's in the army too. The little marine, he grew so fine That now he's screwing them two at a time. The French, they are a funny race. [They fight with their feet and they fuck with their face.] The general won the Cross of War. Nobody knows what he got it for. Perhaps it was for fucking a whore. The dog marines were first in France And made the Kaiser shit in his pants. [ C ] Dear lady, have you a girl so fine Fit for a soldier from the line? Oh, yes, I have a daughter so fine, Fit for a soldier from the line. They went upstairs to go to bed, And then he took her maidenhead. Three months passed an all was well, And then her belly began to swell. Three months more and she gave a grunt, And out rolled a recruit from her old red cunt. This young recruit he grew and grew And now he's fucking the ladies too. [ D ] Up the stairs and into the bed (3) And there he broke her maidenhead. The first three months were very well. The second three months she began to swell. The third three months she gave a grunt And a red-headed bugger jumped out of her cunt. And the red-headed bugger, he grew and grew, And now he is fucking the women too. And the red-headed bugger he got the pox, And now they've got him in a great big box. [ E ] Landlord, have you some ruby wine That's fit for an officer of the line? Landlord, have you a daughter fine That would suit an officer of the line? [ F ] Mademoiselle from Armentieres Hadn't been jazzed in forty years. Mademoiselle from gay Dijon She gave me clap with a safety on. Mademoiselle of Kemmel Hill, She won't jig-jig but her mother will. Mademoiselle from Bar le Duc, She came to Paree to gobble the goo. Mademoiselle, have you any cunt? Send it up to the American front. A mademoiselle from gay Paree She fucked a boy from Company B. Madam, have you a daughter fair With lily white tits and raven hair? The French they are a peculiar race They fight with their feet and fuck with their face. Many and many a married man Wants to go back to France again. [ G ] The captain he's a-carryin' a pack, Hope to Christ it breaks his back. The M.P.'s behind the lines Fucking the women and drinking the wines. The Y.M.C.A. went over the top To get the soldier to suck his cock. The Y.M.C.A. went over the top To feed the soldier on their slop. The Jewish marines went over the top To pick up the pennies the doughboys did drop. Many a son of Abraham Ate his ham for Uncle Sam. The dog marines were first in France And made the Kaiser shit his pants. The general won the cross of war But God knows what he got it for. [ H ] In a letter dated March 19, 1926, Archie Coates of New York City wrote to Hubert Canfield's associate, Alan Steyne: "I suppose you have already millions of verses for the famous 'Parley-voo.' Do they perchance include: The general got the Croix de Guerre. The son of a bitch was never there. Mademoiselle from gay Paree Had the chancre and gave it to me. The little Marine he grew and he grew And now he's shaggin' the women too. The little marine went over the top To let the Kaiser suck his ---- (not such a good rhyme) Which are all the verses I ever heard sung in our detail." [ I ] The officers get all the steak, And all we get's the belly-ache. Go down the street and turn to your right, And spend ten francs to stay the night. The Medical Corps went over the top, And soon they'll be skinning the Kaiser's cock. The M.P.'s say they won the war, Standing on guard at a cafe door. Mademoiselle from Armentieres Hasn't been fucked for forty years. [ J ] The A.E.F. si coming back, But the mamerselles have not their jack. Hinkey pinkey parlez-vous. The Y.M.C.A. has gone over the top To pick up the pennies the doughboys drop. Hinkey pinkey parlez-vous. Mamerselle from gay Paree, I asks, "Do you fuck?" and she says, "Oui, oui!" Hinkey pinkey parlez-vous. I screwed her in an old latrine, Cost two francs and was trŠs bean. [ K ] On April 28, 1926, from Rancagua, Chile, Canfield received a letter from an ex-member of the Canadian Army now employed with the Steam Railroad Department of Braden Copper Co. (Unfortunately, the signature page seems to have disappeared.) The letter contained "Mademoiselle" and six other songs included in this Supplement: "Down in Arizona," "Goodbyee," [CQ] "We Are Sam Hughes' Army," "We Haven't Seen Old Currie," "Apres la Guerre Fini," and "When This Fucking War Is Over." Mademoiselle from Armentieres, parlez-vous. Mademoiselle from Armentieres, parlez-vous. Up the stairs and into bed, It only costs a franc, she said. Hinky dinky parlez-vous. The Yanks are having a hell of a time, parlez-vous. The Yanks are having a hell of a time, parlez-vous. The Yanks are having a hell of a time, Fucking the girls behind the line. Hinky dinky parlez-vous. Mademoiselle from Boule Renade, Fucked herself with a hand grenade. Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Juke-a-loo for souvenirs Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Hasn't been fucked for forty years. Mademoiselle from Boule Renade Fucks the boys for a lemonade. Mademoiselle, have you got any wine Fit for a soldier from the line. The second stanza here is a sneering reference to the period from American entry into the war and June, 1918, during which General John J. Pershing refused to put his green troops into the line under British or French command. [ L ] Mademoiselle from Armatieres [sic], parlez-vous? Mademoiselle from Armatieres, parlez-vous? Mademoiselle from Armatieres, She hasn't been fucked for forty years. Inky-dinky parlez-vous? Mademoiselle from Armatieres [sic], parlez-vous? Mademoiselle from Armatieres, parlez-vous? Mademoiselle from Armatieres, The soldier's cock brought her to tears. Inky-dinky parlez-vous? The fireman he was shoveling coal, parlez-vous? The fireman he was shoveling coal, parlez-vous? The fireman he was shoveling coal; He shoved it up the engineer's hole. Inky-dinky parlez-vous? The conductor was punching tickets for France, parlez-vous? The conductor was punching tickets for France, parlez-vous? The conductor was punching tickets for France; He saw a lady without any pants. Inky-dinky parlez-vous?