58.  THE ENGINEER'S DREAM ®MDIN¯(The Fucking Machine)
Melody--Itself

An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-humm, ah-humm,
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-humm, ah-humm,
An engineer told me before he died,
I have no reason to believe he lied.
Ah-humm, ah-humm-ah-humm-ah-humm-ah-humm-ah-humm,

He had a wife with a cunt so wide (three times),
That she could never be satisfied.

So he built a bloody great wheel, etc . . .
Two balls of brass and a prick of steel.

The balls of brass he filled with cream, etc . . .
And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam.

He tied her ankles to the foot of the bed, etc . . .
He tied her wrists above her head.

There she lay demanding a fuck, etc . . .
He shook her hand and wished her luck.

Round and round went the bloody great wheel, etc...
In and out went the prick of steel.

Up and up went the level of steam, etc . . .
Down and down went the level of cream.

Till at last the maiden cried, etc . . .
"Enough, enough, I'm satisfied!"

 (SLOWLY . . .)
Now we come to the tragic bit, etc . . .
There was no way of stopping it.

(BACK TO SPEED  . . .)
Round and round went the bloody great wheel, etc...
In and out went the prick of steel.

Up and up went the level of steam, etc . . .
Down and down went the level of cream.

She was split from ass to tit, etc . . .
And the whole fucking issue was covered in SHIT, SHIT, 					SHIT!

OTHER ENDINGS (OPTIONAL):

The moral of this story is mighty clear, etc . . .
Never fuck and engineer.

The last time, sir, that prick was seen, etc . . .
It was over in England fucking the Queen.

It jumped off her, it jumped on him, etc . . .
And then it buggered their next of kin.

It jumped upon an uptown bus, etc . . .
And the mess it made caused quite a fuss.

Nine months later a child was born, etc . . .
With two brass balls and a bloody great horn.

Now we come to the bit that's grim, etc . . .
It finished with her and started on him.

Now we come to the bit that's blue, etc . . .
It finished with him and it's looking for YOU!

From Paul Woodford, "Hash Hymns II" (Honolulu, Hawaii, 1994)