The Winnipeg Whore

[C]

My first trip up the Chippewa River,
My first trip to the American shore,
There I met a Miss O'Flannigan,
Commonly known as the Winnipeg whore.

Says she to me, "I think I know you.
Sling your ass across my knee.
We'll go up and do some shagging,
A dollar a half with be my fee."

Some were singing; some were dancing.
Some lay drunk upon the floor.
I was over in the corner
Socking the blocks to the Winnipeg whore.

She was fiddling; I was diddling.
Neither of us knew just what it was about
Till she grabbed my watch and pocketbook.
"Holy Jesus!" I cried out.

In came the pimps and the whores and the bitches,
Must have been a score or more.
You'd have laughed till you shit your britches
To see my ass fly out that door.

	This is the oldest known version of this ballad, the text contributed to the Hubert Canfield collection in the first months of 1926.

[ D ]

The very first time I was in Denver,
The very first time I was away from home,
I thought I'd take a stroll down yonder;
So I strolled into the Denver Home.

The minute I walked through the doorway,
A big fat whore stepped up to me.
"A dollar and half for the first few punches!"
And she slapped her ass upon my knee!

A dollar and a half was her proposition,
A dollar and a half and I pay no more,
And she parked her ass upon my knee
And I felt like falling through the floor!

Little did I care what I was doing,
Little did I care what I was about.
I went to all the balls and dances,
And threw my money all about.

The pimps and whores came crowding round me;
There must have been a hundred or two.
They robbed me of my gold and silver;
They robbed me of my gold watch too.

Little did I care what I was doing,
Little did I care what I was about.
But when they stole my gold and silver,
Then bloody murder I cried out!

Then all the whores came crowding round me.
I thought there were a million or more.
And you'd shit your pants and die a-laughing
To see my ass shag out the door!

	J. Kenneth Larson in his "Barnyard" typescript, p. 21, attributes this to two singers, Terrell Lish and Alden Blasdell.  Apparently it is a pastiche of two versions, which may account for the intrusive [?] "balls and dances" after the lady has sat on his lap.