*

IN DAYS OF OLD
-Anonymous & loseph of Locksley (Tune: "The Girl I left Behind Me")

SCA:	In days of old, when knights were bold,
And rubbers weren't invented;
They used old socks
To cover up their jocks
And babies were prevented!
But now we're in the SCA
And we always get our fill, sir!
For the boys take matters firm in hand
And the girls are on the Pill, sir!

In days of old, when knights were bold,
And women weren't particular
They lined them up
Against the wall
And diddled 'em perpendicular!
But now we're in the SCA
And any old way is fine, sir!
So choose your lass and go to town,
As long as she's not mine, sir!

In days of old, when knights were bold
And paper not invented
They wiped their ass
With tufis of grass
And, thereby, were contented!
But now we're in the SCA
And a public park's a gas, sir!
For a toilet seat is very neat
When you have to park your ass, sir!

MttNDANE:	Last night I slept in a hollow log
With the girl I love beside me;
Tonight I sleep in a feather bed
And she's right there beside me

She jumped in bed and covered up her head
And said I couldn't find her
But she knew damn well she lied like hell
So I jumped in bed beside her!

I diddled her once, I diddled her twice,
I diddled her once too ofien  
I broke a spring, or some damn thing
I diddled her to her coffin  

(shouted:) DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!

		"The Black Book of Locksley"