Casey Jones II

Hubert Canfield's collecting in 1926 provides this version of the familiar ballad, but one so extended as to tell its own story of the demise of Casey.  As such it merits consideration as a distinct ballad, though it too was obviously inspired by the stage song.

Come all ye tail-hounds if you want to hear
The story of a brave engineer.
Casey Jones was his name,
In a four-poster bed he won his fame.

His wife woke Casey at half past four,
And told her spouse she wanted some more.
He mounted to her belly, his trombone in his hand
And shoved it twelve inches into the promised land.

Then in the evening, looking rather pale,
He went to the cathouse to get his usual tail.
He said to the madam, ""Bring on all that you've got,
For I'm feeling mighty horny and I'll fuck the goddam lot."

He felt of his balls and his balls they hung low.
He looked at the whores all lying in a row.
He looked at the madam, and he said,
"I'll fuck the whole kaboodle but I'll soon be dead."

He got a heavy hard-on and started down the line,
And fucked them quick and pretty till he got to twenty-nine.
As slipped in his pecker, a tear stood in his eye,
He said, "I'm going to fuck you last thing before I die."

He worked for forty minutes, and he came for twenty-five.
When he'd shot his wad out, he was only half alive.
They laid him on the sofa and stood around in tears,
And said, "He is the grandest man we've screwed in many
	years."

Said Casey to the doctor just before he died,
"There are two more girls I wish that I could ride."
The doctor asked, "Who can they be?"
"Bow-legged Susan and Hot-cunt Marie."