Abdul the Bulbul Emir

[ C ]

The harems of Egypt are fine to behold,
The harlots the fairest of fair,
But the fairest of all was owned by a sheik,
Named Abdul Abulbul Emir.

A traveling brothel came down from the north,
'Twas privately run for the Czar,
Who wagered a hundred no one could outshag,
Ivan Skavinsky Scavar.

A day was arranged for the spectacle great,
A holiday proclaimed by the Czar,
And the streets were all lined with the harlots assigned,
To Ivan Skavinsky Scavar.

All hairs they were shorn, no frenchies were worn,
And this suited Abdul by far,
And he quite set his mind on a fast action grind,
To beat Ivan Skavinsky Scavar.

They met on the track with cocks at the slack,
A starter's gun punctured the air,
They were both quick to rise, the crowd gaped at the size,
Of Abdul Abulbul Emir.

They worked all the night in the pale yellow light,
Old Abdul he revved like a car,
But he couldn't compete with the slow steady beat,
Of Ivan Skavinsky Scavar.

So Ivan he won and he shouldered his gun,
He bent down to polish the pair,
When something red hot up his back passage shot,
'Twas Abdul Abulbul Emir.

The harlots turned green, the crowd shouted "Queen,"
They were ordered apart by the Czar,
'Twas bloody bad luck for poor Abdul was stuck,
Up Ivan Skavinsky Scavar.

The cream of the joke came when they broke,
'Twas laughed at for years by the Czar,
For Abdul, the fool, left half of his tool,
Up Ivan Skavinsky Scavar.

As "Ivan Skavinsky Scavar," this is number 182 in Paul Woodford's large collection of "Hash Hymns II" (Honolulu, Hawaii, 1994).
 [ D ]

In the harems of Egypt it's good to behold
The fairest of harlots appear.
But the faiest, a Greek,
Was owned by a sheik,
Named Abdul el Bulbul Emir.

A traveling brothel came into the town
Run by a pimp from afar
Whose great reputation
Had traveled the nation,
'Twas Ivan Skidavitsky Skavar.

Abdul the Bulbul arrived with his bride
A price whose eyes shone like a star.
He claimed he could prong
More cunts with his dong
Than Ivan Skidavitsky Skavar.

A day was arranged for the spectacle great,
A visit was planned by the czar.
And the curbs were all lined
With harlots reclined
In honor of Ivan Skavar.

They met on the track with their tools hanging slack,
Dressed only in shoes and a leer.
Both were fast on the rist
But folks gasped at the size
Of Abdul el Bulbul Emir.
 
The cunts were all shorn and no rubbers adorned
The prongs of the pimp and the peer,
But the pimp's steady stroke
Soon left without hope
The chance of the Bulbul Emir.

*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*
*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*
The multitudes came
To applaud the ball game
Of Abdul and Ivan Skavar.

When Ivan had finished, he turned tot he Greek,
And laughed when she shivered in fear.
She swallowed his pride;
He buggered the bride
Of Abdul el Bulbul Emir.

When Ivan was done and was wiping his gun,
He bent down to polish his gear.
He felt up his ass
A hard pecker pass.
'Twas Abdul el Bulbul Emir.

The crowd loudly howled that it was a foul.
They were ordered to part by the czar.
But fast they were jammed,
The pecker was crammed
In Ivan Skidavitsky Skavar.

The fair Grecian maiden a sad vigil keeps
With a husband whose tastes have turned queer.
She longs for the dong
That once did belong
To Abdul el Bulbul Emir.

	As sung by Molly Bennett, June 23, 1996, at a workshop on bawdy songs held at the 16th Annual Summer Solstice Folk Music, Dance and Storytelling Festival, Calabasas, California.  Ms. Bennett, of Aurora, Colorado, refurbished a partial text from oral tradition with the "B" text in the second edition of this work.  In fact, this was a not infrequent occurrence among the supposedly "unlettered" folk, who used broadsides and chapbooks to restore incomplete texts.  See my article, "'Barbara Allen': Cheap Print and Reprint," in Folklore International: Essays in Traditional Literature, Belief, and Custom in Honor of Wayland Debs Hand, edited by D. K. Wilgus (Hatboro, Pa.: 1967), pp. 41-51.