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This song is related to the bawdy song The Music Man -- they both use the same tune.
Lt. Uhura, report. There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow; There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.
Analysis, Mr. Spock. It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it; It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow; There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.
Medical update, Dr. McCoy. It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim; It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it; It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain. There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow; There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim. Starship Captain, James T. Kirk: Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill; We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, men. It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim; It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead. Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it; It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain. There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow; There's Klingons on the starboard bow, scrape 'em off, Jim.
Engineer, Mr. Scott: Ye cannot change the laws of physics, laws of physics, laws of physics; Ye cannot change the laws of physics, laws of physics, Jim. Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill; We come in peace, shoot to kill; Scotty, beam me up! It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim; It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead. Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it; IT's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain. There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow; There's Klingons on the starboard bow, better calm down!
Ye cannot change the script Jim. Och, #!*& Jimmy.
It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim.
Bridge to engine room, warp factor 9.
Och, if I give it any more she'll blow, Cap'n!
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