Ball of Kerrymuir

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four and twenty virgins
came down from inverness.
when the war was over,
there were four and twenty less.

chorus: singing balls to your father
arse against the wall.

if you never get fucked on a saturday night,
you'll never get fucked at all

chorus

the village parson, he was there,
sitting at the front;
knitting rubber johnnies
from and old dunlop tyre.

chorus

the village virgin, she was there,
sitting at the front;
broken glass around her arse,
barbed wire around her cunt.

chorus

the village cripple, he was there,
he wasn't up to much;
lining the girls against the wall
and fucking them with his crutch.

chorus

the village teacher, she was there,
sitting with her class;
stroking all the little boys
and taking it up her ass.

chorus

the village postman, he was there,
he had a dose of pox.
so, instead of screwing women,
he screwed the letterbox.

chorus

the vicar's daughter, she was there,
up to her usual tricks;
Jumping off the mantelpiece
and landing on her tits.

chorus

the village idiot, he was there,
up to his usual trick;
pulling his foreskin over his head
and whistling down his dick.

chorus

the village midwife, she was there,
explaining to the groom
that the vagina, not the rectum,
was the entrance to the womb.

chorus

the village bobby, he was there;
pride of all the force.
they found him in the stables,
wanking off a horse.

chorus

the village farmer, he was there,
wearing fancy socks.
he fucked a lassie forty times,
then found she had the pox.

chorus

• Chubby Chalfont and The Chafers   
  • Rugby Songs Sing-a-long
    • The Ball of Kerrymuir / Four and Twenty Virgin

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