Four Letter Words
We must banish the use of them four letter words
Whose meanings are never obscure.
Them Anglos, them Saxons, those bawdy old birds
Were vulgar, obscene and impure.
Far better you stick to your weak-kneed phrase
That never quite says what you mean.
Far better
you stick to your hypocrite ways
Than be vulgar, impure or obscene.
When nature is calling, plain speaking is out.
Whentheladies,Godblessthem,aremillingabout.
Youmakewater,wee-wee,orgoemptytheglass,
Youcanpowderyournose,orexcuseme,maypass.
Shakedewoffthelily,seeaman'boutadog,
Orwheneveryone'ssoused,it'scondensingthefog,
Bepleasedtoconsider,rememberjustthis
'TisonlyinShakespeare,docharacterspiss!
Youmayspeakofamovement,orsitonaseat,
Haveastool,apassage,orsimplyexcrete,
Orsaytotheothers,I'mgoingoutback
AndgroanIpurepleasureinthatsmellyoldshack,
Youcangolayacable,ofdonumbertwo,
Orsitonthe'toidyandmakeadoo-doo.
But,ladiesandgentswhoaresociallyfit
Undernoprovocationwillgotakeashit.
Whenyourdinnersareheartywithbaconandgreens,
Garlicandclaretandonionsandbeans,
Yourbowelsgetsobusydistillingagas
Thatnatureinsistsyoupermitittopass.
Youareverypolitewhenyoutrytoexhale,
Withoutnoiseorodor,youfrequentlyfail,
ExpectingaZephyr,youcarefullystart
Butevenadeafonewouldcallitafart.
Nowawomanhasbosoms,abust,orabreast,
Thoselily-whiteswellingsthatbulge'neathhervest.
Theyaretowersofivory,orsheavesofnewwheat,
Inmomentsofpassion,ripeapplestoeat.
Youmayspeakofhernipplesassmallringsoffire
Withhardlythequestionofraisingherire.
ButbyRabbelai'sbeard,shewillthrowfifteenfits
Ifyouspeakofthemroundlyasgoodhonesttits.
- Sault Antlers
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Sault Antler's CD
- The Bastard King of England Time: 3:30
- Blow the Man Down Time: 3:09
- English Nobilio [aka The Gay Caballero] Time: 1:39
- Walk A Little Way Time: 0:53
- Cats on the Rooftops Time: 2:47
- Hedge Hog Time: 0:47
- That Short Word Time: 1:20
- Daisy Time: 0:46
- Ring Dang Do Time: 2:13
- All About Turds [aka Blinded By Shit] Time: 2:52
- Fireship Time: 3:02
- Farter Mine Time: 2:13
- What Color? [aka The Mayor of Bayswater] Time: 2:52
- With Me Hand Time: 1:19
- None is Bigger than Mine [aka Four Old Whores from Baltimore] Time: 1:41
- All for me Grog Time: 2:46
- With Baited Breath Time: 1:02
- Rastus Time: 2:45
- Hitler Time: 1:28
- Virgin Sturgeon Time: 1:56
- Man on Top of Woman Time: 0:48
- Suzanne Time: 1:48
- Maid from Amsterdam Time: 1:54
- Kafusalem Time: 2:11
- Sexual Life of the Camel Time: 0:51
- Daffney Time: 0:33
- Winnipeg Whore Time: 1:48
- I'm Looking Under Time: 1:02
- The Chandler Shop Time: 1:45
- Four Letter Words Time: 3:05
- Queens Marines [aka I Don't Want to Join the Army] Time: 2:18
- O'Reily's Daughter Time: 3:28
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