The Contest (1982)

This 1993 CD was originally issued as an LP in 1982. The tracks listed are mislisted on the CD case and on the actual CD. This CD contains modified recordings from the Stag Party In London series. Th

Various Artists
- "The Contest": The World Champion Farting Contest and Six Authentic English Pub Songs
  - The Contest (World Championship Farting Contest) Time: 13:20
  - Down at the Old Bull and Bush Time: 1:45
  - Oh My Darling Clementine Time: 1:56
  - She Was Poor, But She Was Honest [actually Camden Ladies] Time: 1:45
  - Camden Ladies [actually My Bonnie] Time: 2:11
  - My Bonnie [actually Tiddley Winkey Woo] Time: 2:12
  - Tiddley Winkey Woo [actually She Was Poor, But She Was Honest] Time: 2:39

The first crepetation (i.e. farting) contest was held in 1732,during the reign of King George I. During this period in British history, lower class citizens could not afford the luxuries of art and music, and thus spent most of their spare time in the English pubs, drinking beer and eating beans. Wide spread consumption of bean eating was a carry-over from the unknown famine of the seventeenth century. During this period of famine, beans were the only food in sufficient quantity to feed the lower class masses. The people took such a liking to beans served with ale that they continued to consume them long after the famine had ended. The consumption of beans and ale in the pubs led to obvious problems. Farting in the pubs eventually was prohibited, and to encourage people to confine their farting to the outdoors, farting contest (held outdoors) began. It is believed that the first official contest was organized, by the jester, in the court of King George. To ensure contest on a regular basis, the British League of Big Farts was created. The organizers of the league were all regular customers of the Old Bull and Bush Pub in Sheffield, England. The original contest of 1732 was held outside this now-famous pub. The British League of Big Farts then spread farting contests throughout Europe and eventually brought them to America. General Cornwallis, who led British troops during the

Revolutionary War, was a charter member of the British League. It was he who first introduced the farting to American audiences. As the British empire expanded, farting contests moved from one commonwealth to the next. An international league of Big Farts was eventually formed, along with a worldwide Big Fart Federation.

The first contest outside Great Britain was held at the Summer Olympics of 1783. One France's most illustrious leaders, Napoleon Bonaparte, was an avid fan of this sport. During his reign of power, the French National championships were held at the palace of Versaille. Farting contests are now an international event. The contest on this record is of historical significance, since it marked the 250th anniversary of the original 1732 contest.

The engineering team responsible for the Farting Contest recording have made every effort to ensure a state of the art, Audiophile quality recording. The microphones used contained custom-designed vacuum tube electronics coupled with condenser microphone capsules designed and manufactured by one of West Germany's leading microphone manufacturers. The wide dynamic range of high quality tube electronics was deemed essential, if the full dynamics of the live contest were to be preserved.

Microphone positioning provided several unique problems not found in recording music. To capture the transient impact and overtone structure of live farts, a stereo microphone (coincident pair) was placed at floor level, facing the "Finesse De Brise", and pointing at a distance of five feet. A windscreen, custom designed to have no effect on high frequency performance was placed over the stereo pair to protect the condenser capsules from foreign matter emanating from the "Finesse De Brise". The stereo pair were used in the cardioid position.

Concert hall ambiance was added by mixing the feed from 3 spaced omni-directional condenser microphones with the direct sound from the stereo pair. The mixer was a custom built 8 channel mixer using low noise, high speed operational amplifiers and transformerless mike inputs. The announcers' microphones were also fed to this mixer.

It was felt that state-of-the-art analog recording would capture the rich overtone structure of live farting more naturally than present digital techniques. Therefore, a custom designed tape recorder, using 2-tracks on 1/2 inch tape, was used. Noise reduction was unnecessary due to a tape speed of 30 inches per second. The high tape speed and usually wide track width ensured wide dynamic range free of tape hiss normally found in analog recording.

The recording location was the famous Maple Leaf Garden in Toronto, Canada. This site was picked not for acoustical reasons, but rather for excellent ventilation and air circulation systems used at the Garden. The necessity of good ventilation is obvious when a farting contest is involved. What may not be realized is that Canadian sports fans love hot dogs with sauerkraut and beer, which tends to compound the ventilation problems.

The songs included on Side 2 were recorded live at the Old Bull and Bush Pub. These are actual songs sung at British Fart-outs, while eating beans and drinking Ale. Not all of the songs originated in England. After General Cornwallis surrendered to the Americans, he and his soldiers returned to England singing their own versions of many American songs. It is interesting to note that General Cornwallis held the record for the greatest number of fudgie farts in succession for nearly 100 years.

Clyde McPhartought

Down at the Old Bull and Bush is the traditional theme song for the Sheffield fart-outs. It was probably written in 1767.

Oh My Darling Clementine is, of course, an American song, but this British version was probably arranged by General Cornwallis himself.

She Was Poor, But She Was Honest is about a waitress who was employed at the Old Bull and Bush Pub during the 1830's. Its composer is unknown.

Camden Ladies was brought to England from America after the war of 1812. The melody is normally credited to Stephen Foster, but he obviously stole it after hearing it at a farting contest.

My Bonnie was originally written by English soldiers while they were stationed long distances from their wives and girl friends.

Tiddley Winkey Woo is the song traditionally sung at the conclusion of all farting contests, during the celebration dinner. At this dinner, the winner is given a trophy, a beautifully hand-carved replica of the wind instrument used to signal the start of the farting contest. This trophy is as prized by the farting champion as an Oscar is prized by an actor.

Liner notes written by: Clyde McPhartought
Production Credits:
Executive Producer: U.C. Greenhayes
Recording Engineers: Imus Meling, Hyman O. Royeds and Bob B. Brown
Full-speed Mastering Engineer: Rosy I. Waters
©® 1993 MAC and Natural Gas, Ltd., Box 566, Massena, NY 13662

We would like to thank the following people and organizations, who made this record possible:

• The Toronto Chapter of the British League of Big Farts
• Natural Gas, Ltd.
• The BBC
• The Old Bull and Bush Singers: Sophie, Kate and Di.

WARNING: All MAC and Natural Gas, Ltd. liner notes are copyrighted. Any unauthorized broadcasting, copying or re-recording of this record by any means whatsoever - without prior written consent - constitutes an infringement of copyright and will render the infringer liable to an action at law and subject to criminal prosecution.