The Tailor's Boy

The tailor's boy: A 17th century London apprentices' song. Some years ago I had a small part in N. Richard Nash's "Sesond Best Bed," starring Ruth Chatterton. On the morning following our Detroit opening I was called to the theatre to discuss this song with a group of city dignitaries who questioned Detroit's capacity for such strong fare—the group had not attended our opening performance but had read the reviews. I sang them the song. They found it amusing, non-corruptive, and we kept it in the play.

The Tailor's Boy

The tailor's boy went out one day some candles for to buy,
But when he got to the chandler's shop no chandler could he spy.
And so he shouted loudly out, fit to raise the dead,
'Til he heard the sound of a (knock, knock, knock) right above my head.

The tailor's boy was a spry young lad, and rain right up the stairs,
Determined to find who was there and take them unawares;
And there he saw the chandler's boy between his mistress' thighs
And they were having a (knock, knock, knock) right before his eyes.

When the job was over, the lady turned her head,
And saw the little tailor's boy a-standing by the bed
Said she to he, "If you'll agree to what I have in mind,
You shall have a (knock, knock, knock) whenever you feel inclined."

So my gay young married men, who travel into town
Be sure to keep your wife locked up, unless you tie her down
For if you do not heed this tale, as sure as you've a wife,
She'll be having a (knock, knock, knock) every day of her life.