Pimping Sam

Pimping Sam

Henry, Ramsey, 2 July 1964, #22A

While sittin' here chattin' with you
it brings back memories of a bitch I once knew.
She was three-quarter Kelsey with mossy glossy hair,
she was a stomp down mudkicker and her mug was fair.
Now I met this broad while playin' short coin in the golden west,
I brought the whore to the city to see if she could stand the test.
And while we was sittin' down shootin' the bull and my ends was pretty low,
she say, "Shit, I know more now, daddy, than you'll ever know."
Say, "When I first met you, sweet papa, you tried to shoot me a line a bull,"
say, "but you can't look up a she-mule's ass and tell the load she'll pull."
Say, "Now, you handsome and everything and looks real nice in your clothes,
but you ought to cop yourself a job, fool, 'cause you can't play whores."
say, "I'm known from the Golden Gates of Frisco to the Frisco Bay,
I'm know to beat you halfassed pimps at any game you try to play.
I'm known to beat you chickenshit pimps at any game you try to rule,
and buy clothes and furs with your money and play you for a goddammed fool."
Said, "So long, Pimping Sam, tell all your pimping friends
that you've met Wicked Nell from the banks of the Burnin' Hell,"
say, "This pussy's good and it's gotta sell."
Say, "Hold on, bitch, you travelin' too fast;
I'm supposed to be draggin' my foot out of your motherfucken ass."
Say, "Bitch, I'm also known from the Golden
Gates of Frisco to the Eagle's Pass,
I'm known to play bigtime landlords, kick
chickenshit whores right in their mother-fucken ass.
And if my luck continue to hold out in the
future like it has in the past,
I'm gonna continue to kick you chickenshit whores right in your motherfucken ass."
Say, "Bitch, this is Pimping Sam, the world's wonder,
long-dick buck-bender, all-night grinder, womb-finder,
sheet-shaker, baby-maker, and money taker."
Say, "here come a trick, bitch," say, "catch him, and catch him quick,
catch him if you have to suck his motherfucken dick."
Say, "Catch him, whore, catch him and catch him fast,
catch him 'fore I put this Stacey Adam in your motherfucken ass."
Say, "And lay that money on Pimping Sam,"
say, "for this is Pimping Sam from Alabam',
and for one jive bitch like you I don't give a damn."
Say, "And, anyhow, whore, shut up talkin' to me
'fore I tell the people your past pedigree.
Like rotten wood, you ass ain't no good, all beat and clappy,
get your kicks from suckin' dicks and fuckin'
you bald-headed pappy."
Say, "Bitch, from the dicks you done sucked
and the men you done fucked,"
say, "you oughta be held.
But look at you, all with a shitty smell.
Tellin' me about you can trick when you don't know how — "
say, "black, nappy-haired motherfucker, you
oughta be in Georgia pullin' a motherfucken plow."
Say, "You know, I knew you when your drawers
was funky and your hair was incorrect,"
say, "free-fuckiri bitch," say, "I oughta break your goddammed neck."
Say, "I hope the whole world turn against you and you fall down at my feet,
I hope crabs big as cockroaches crawl around your ass and eat,"
say, "I hope the sun quit shinin' on you and
your life be in a terrible wreck,
hope you fall through the loops a your own ass
and break your motherfucken neck."

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