Ups On The Farm

Ups on the Farm

Peter, Wynne, 18 March 1966, #53

An old farmer stopped me on the street one day,
I stopped to listen to his conversation and
these is the words that he had to say:
"Say, boy, I don't mean you no harm,
but would there be any chance of me gettin' you to go out on my farm?"
I said, "Look here, Mr. Whitey, I want you to understand,
I'm not no boy, I'm a full grown man.
Now talk to me just like I'd talk to you -
what in the hell is out on your farm that you want me to do?"
He said, "Well, I want you to chop and I want you to plow,
I want you to feed my mules, want you to milk my cow."
I told him to stop right there 'fore he said any more,
I told him in front I wasn't goin' to go.
I told him I wasn't going to chop his cotton
and wasn't goin' to plow his corn,
if I saw a mule runnin' off at the world, I'd tell him to go ahead on.

I told this paddy and solemnly did swear,
no more farm for me — too damn many ups out there.
He pulls off his hat and begin to scratchin' his hair,
say, "What you mean by the farm, you say it's 'too many ups out there?'"
I say, "Well, on the farm, early in the mornin' when you wake up,
the next thing you do you got to get up,
there it is, it's a rush up.
You got to get in the lot before sunup,
when you get to the lot you got to catch up,
when you get to the field you got to hook up.
Say the next thing you hollering is to 'Come up.'
All day long you plowing God's ground up,
when you get at night you all stiffed and stoved up.
Say, on Saturday there's the man you got to look up,
you tryin' to get him to settle up.
He tell you you ain't paid for the groceries you got last week and you done already eat up.
That may make you mad and you may frown up,
maybe start to giving him some of that big head up,
and right there them farmers is liable to bunch up,
and right there is where you liable to get fucked up."

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