The Ball O' Kerriemeer. 
(Willie Kemp (voice) and Curly MacKay (Piano-accordion))
Recording
studio, Edinburgh, c. 1938; matrix M721: Beltona 2372.
Four and twenty merry maids gone all to Kerriemuir,
And only one came back again, for she was feeling queer.
At the ball, the ball, the ball a-been [above] the brig [bridge]
Siccan [such] a carry-on gone on, it was an awful rig [frolic].
Some gone to the cornyard, others to the sprotts [rushy grass],
And you couldn't see the barn floor for the bottles wanting corks.
At the ball, the ball, the ball o' Kerriemeer.
Aye, a lot of folk that
got up there they caused an awful steer [commotion].
The dominy's [clergyman's] wife she was there — buckles on
her sheen [shoes],
A wreath o' roses roond [round]
her heid [head] and specs [glasses] upon her e'en [eyed].
At the ball, the ball — her frock a diagram,
Wi' coloured hose upon her
queets [ankles]
and fancy nicky tarns [strings tied below a workman's knees].
Geordie had a humpy back. He said it gave him pains.
Fen [When]
his jacket tail was lifted up, out flew a clacking hen.
At the ball, the
ball, he stopped the conversation.
When the hen got fluttering out, it
caused a consternation.
The minister's daughter she was there and she was worst of a' [all].
She drunk as muckle fusky [so much whisky],
she couldna [couldn't] stand ava [at all].
At the ball, the ball, she came demure and sweet,
But when
the ball was at its height the fushion [strength] left her
beat [worn out].
Kirsty Smith was all dressed up; she had on her lip a blister.
But she was kissing Tinker Jock; she bursted it on his whisker.
At the ball, the ball, Kirsty couldna smile,
For the split she had upon her lip it felt like half a mile.
The old wife she came hurtling ben [in] upon her oxter starve
[crutch].
She said she'd dance The Hieland Fling and managed wi' a charve
[struggle].
At the ball, the ball, she bought **** and swat [sweat]
Till the beads of perspiration would have filled up Willie's hat.
Tammy Stewart, the laird's man — long may he thrive.
He polished off a plum duff, saying, "Can I have the ither [other] five?"
At the ball, the ball, he swelled up like a cheese.
It took him fully thirty days to set doon [down] by degrees.
Peter Black was keen on Jean and sair [earnestly]
he tried to coax her.
Fen
[When] they danced The Berlin Reel, she slithered in his oxter [under
his arm].
At the ball, the ball, he's got her home for keeps,
And now she rocks his cradle and feeds him out with neeps [swedes].
Jimmy on his timmer [wooden] legs screwed on a sofa caster.
He tried a race with Harry's mare and on the brae [slope]
he passed her.
At the ball, the ball, he skated roond the neuks [corners]
Till at last he landed in the dam and scattered a' the dukes [ducks].
Johnny Clark would [wanted to] sing a song gaed standing on a form.
They battered him with
rotten eggs afore
[before] he could perform.
At the ball, the ball, he fell doon [down] wi' a derd
[uproar?]
The greatest fear that he come roond that if he had got the bird.
So, here's to old Kerriemeer! And here's to the ball!
I can not sing another verse; my throttle's
over
small.
At the ball, the ball, the ball of Kerriemeer.
If you do
not
like the singing of it, you surely must be queer.
- Various Artists
-
Voice of the People, Vol. 14: Troubles They Are But Few - Dance Tunes & Ditties
-
