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There hath a question been of late
Among the youthful sort;
What pastime is the pleasantest
And what the sweetest sport?
And it hath been adjudged,
As well by great and small,
That of all pastimes none is like
To up-tails all.

All bachelors will to this game
And marry'd men likewise;
Yea, wives and maids and widows
Will use it all their lives:
And old men that will have a go
Altho' their game's but small,
Yet these old colts will have a bout
At up-tails all.

It cannot be unwholesome.
Physicians do it use,
And if that it were noysome,
They would it then refuse:
But if it hurt the body,
Then sure their skill is small;
For why the best of these will play
At up-tails all.

All ladies love the pastime,
And do the pleasure crave,
And if it were a base thing,
Then it they would not have:
But yet the fairest women,
Will soonest for it call;
There is no one but that will play
At up-tails all.

And if it were a costly thing,
Then beggars could not buy it,
And if it were a loathsome thing
Then genteels would defy it:
But oh, it is a sweet thing,
And pleasing unto all;
There is no one but that will play
At up-tails all.

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