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SOMETIMES I am a Tapster new,
And skillful in my trade, Sir,
1  fill my pots most duly,
Without deceit or froth, Sir:
A spicket of two handfuls long,
I use to occupy, Sir:
And when I set a butt abroach,
Then shall no beer run by, Sir.

Sometimes I am a Butcher,
And then I feel fat ware Sir;
And if the flank be fleshed well,
I take no farther care Sir:
But in I thrust my slaughtering-knife,
Up to the haft with speed Sir,
For all that ever I can do,
I cannot make it bleed Sir.

Sometimes I am a Baker,
And bake both white and brown Sir;
I have as fine a wriggling-pole,
As any is in all this town Sir:
But if my oven be over-hot,
I dare not thrust it in Sir;
For burning of my wriggling-pole,
My skill's not worth a pin Sir.

Sometimes I am a Glover,
And can do passing well Sir;
in dressing of a doe-skin,
I know I do excel Sir:
But if by chance a flaw I find,
In dressing of the leather;
I straightway whip my needle out,
And I tack 'em close together.

Sometimes I am a Cook,
And in Fleet-Street I do dwell Sir:
At the sign of the Sugar-loaf,
As it is known full well Sir:
And if a dainty lass comes by,
And wants a dainty bit Sir;
I take four quarters in my arms,
And put them on my spit Sir.

In weavering and fulling,
I have such passing skill Sir;
And underneath my weavering-beam,
There stands a fulling-mill Sir:
To have good wives' displeasure,
I would be very loath Sir;
The water runs so near my hand;
It over-thicks my cloth Sir.

Sometimes I am a Shoemaker,
And work with silly bones Sir;
To make my leather soft and moist,
I use a pair of stones Sir:
My lasts for and my lasting sticks,
Are fit for every size Sir;
I know the length of lasses' feet,
By handling of their thighs Sir.

The Tanner's trade I practice,
Sometimes amongst the rest Sir;
Yet I could never get a hair,
Of any hide I dressed Sir,
For I have been tanning of a hide,
This long seven years and more Sir;
And yet it is as hairy still,
As ever it was before Sir.

Sometimes I am a Tailor,
And work with thread that's strong Sir;
I have a fine great needle,
About two handfuls long Sir:
The finest sempster in this town,
That works by line or leisure:
May use my needle at a pinch,
And do themselves great pleasure.

[Anonymous]

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