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Upon Sir Toby's Gaining Ground
Anonymous
Middle 18th. Century
As Sir Toby reel'd home with his skin full of wine,
To his house in the Square from his friends at the Vine,
He snuff'd the fresh air with his noodle turn'd round;
He stagger'd but gained not an inch of the ground.
Get home, quoth the knight, why this can ne'er do,
If for one step gain'd forward I backward reel two.
I'll return to the Vine; so, as one may suppose,
Sir Toby intended to follow his nose.
But this retrograde Knight ne'er altered his pace,
And gaining ground backward found out his right place.
The sot's mathematics at length did prevail
And Sir Toby steer'd home by the help of his tail.
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