Mistaken Toast

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An Englishman visited the United States and was very please with the American custom of offering a toast before dinner. The toast he liked the best was:

"Here's to our pretty girls
Who's dresses button down the sides,
And every time the wind blows
You can see their pretty thighs."

When the Englishman returned to his homeland, the first dinner he attended he jumped up to offer this toast:

"Here's to our pretty girls
Whose dresses button down the front,
And every time the wind blows
You can see their pretty ----.

"Oh Hell, that can't be right!"

[1948ca. Bedroom Party Literature]

Compare the above mistaken toast with this anecdote from 1927:

An Englishman was present at a party once during which one of the guests recited a parody as follows:

"Mary had a little skirt,
'Twas split just right in half,
And everywhere that Mary went,
She showed a little calf."

It was a jolly rhyme, thought the limey, and made a mental note of it. Back in deah ol' Lunnon he essayed to repeat it at a mixed gathering, promising it would amuse the ladies. This is the rhyme as he read it:

"Mary had a little, er, ah, skirt,
'Twas slit, er . . dontcherknow, just in front,
And everywhere that, er . . Mary went,
She showed her little . .

My Gawd, that can't be right."

[1927 Anecdota Americana, anecdote #80, pg. 36-37.