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I need to find earlier printed examples of this bawdy toasting
anecdote.
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Dale Marsters was a member of a Toast Masters Club and
one evening the lads decided to have a contest to see who
could deliver the best toast. Well, Dale won the contest for
the best toast of the evening, "Here's To The Best Years of
Me Life, Spent Between The Legs of Me Wife."
When Dale arrived home his beautiful wife asked him how
the Toast Masters meeting went and he said, "I won the
contest for the best toast of the evening."
His wife then asked him what his toast was and he said,
"Here's To The Best Years of me Life, Spent in Church
wit me Wife." His wife then said, "Why Dale, that's so
nice of you to include me in your Toast."
The next morning, Mrs. Marsters was downtown and
ran into the local policeman on the beat who was also
at the meeting with Dale.
He said, "Hello Mrs. Marsters, that was some great
toast that your husband Dale gave at the Toast Masters
meeting last evening. He won first prize".
"Yes, that's right," said Mrs. Marsters, "but he wasn't
quite honest with the facts: he's only been there twice,
the first time he fell asleep and the second time I had
to pull him by the ears to make him come."
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| From: Randy and Cindy <rancin(at)
zeus.ia.net>
Usenet: rec.humor Date: Sat, 30 Jun 2001
John O'Riley was a member of an Irish Toast Masters Club and one
evening at the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, a contest was held to
see who could deliver the best toast.
Well, John O'Riley won the contest for the best toast of the evening,
"Here's To The Best Years o' Me Life, Spent Between The Legs o' Me
Wife."
When John O'Riley arrived home his beautiful wife asked him how the
Toast Masters meeting went and he said, "I won the contest for the
best toast of the evening."
His wife then asked him what his toast was, and he said, "Here's
To The Best Years o' me Life, Spent in Church wi' me Wife." His
wife then said, "Why John, that's so nice of you to include me in
your Toast."
The next morning, Mrs. O'Riley was downtown shopping and ran into the
local policeman on the beat who was also at the Toast Masters meeting
with John O'Riley.
He said, "Hello Mrs. O'Riley, that was some great toast that
your husband John gave at the Toast Masters meeting last evening. He won
first prize".
"Yes, that's right," said Mrs. O'Riley, "but he wasn't
quite honest with the facts: he's only been there twice, the first time
he fell asleep and the second time I had to pull him out by the
ears." |
Earliest (that I have found) Usenet variant:
| On the occasion of his 20th wedding
anniversary, Daniel-Patrick is in the pub celebrating with his mates. He
lifts a glass and toasts his marriage: "Here's to the best years o'
me life, spent between the legs o' me wife." All the mates cheer
and applaud this fine and noble sentiment, and raise another glass or
two (or three, or four). Back home, Daniel-Patrick tells his wife about
the ovation he received, but since he knows she won't approve the
language, changes it to: "Here's to the best years o' me life,
spent in church beside me wife." A few days later, the Mrs. meets
one of the mates who had cheered Daniel-Patrick in the pub. The toast is
mentioned. "Oh, you heard? says the mate. "Yes, indeed,"
she says. "Twas a fine, fine toast," the mate says.
"Indeed it was," says the Mrs., "even if it happened only
twice these twenty years, and the second time he fell asleep before it
was over."
From: dltjxx(at) ix.netcom.com (dltjxx) Date: 1999-11-28 Usenet:
soc.history.ancient,alt.history.ancient-worlds |
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