The people in other dimensions
  Have organs with hyperextensions.
     They can sneak up on you
     And give you a screw
  Before you've divined their intentions.

MERCURY

A Mercurian male, although elfin,
Is unable to thrust all himself in,
   Throughout the hot season
   For one private reason --
A cunt a 2000 degs. Kelvin.

VENUS

On Venus, I'm bound to relate,
The females refuse to fellate.
   For the cocks of the guys
   Have got spines, spikes, and eyes
Tasting strongly of smegma sulphate.

EARTH

The Venusian, out on a mission,
Found Earth in a puzzling condition.
   They could understand part
   Of our laws and our art,
But got stuck in the fifteenth position.

THE MOON

'vita brevis, ars longa,' is true,
As the better-read Lunatics knew.
   They looked much as we,
   But the light gravitee
Made head bigger and ars longa too.

MARS

An upper-crust Martian said, 'Yes,
We old families are snobs, I confess.
   It really is vital
   To get tits AND title.'
So he married a cute Martioness.

THE ASTEROIDS

Though the music of love is Schubérty
Love itself there is sordidly dirty.
   The men are all queer
   Till their ninety-ninth year,
While the menopause strikes at pubérty.

CERES

On account of its orbital sloth,
A lover on Ceres is loath
   To propagate coldly
   Or fornicate boldly,
So sometimes he simply does both.

JUPITER

Girls are something Jove's planet has not:
There is only one huge, flaming twot,
   Soaking up like a sponge
   All the men as they plunge --
On Terra, it's called the Red Spot.

SATURN

On Saturn the sexes are three,
A nuisance, I think you'll agree.
   For performing 'con brio'
   you must have a trio,
While it even takes two for a pee.

URANUS

On Uranus, to shout 'Up you anus!'
Is to get yourself rated insane, as
   The arse is no hole
   But a flexible pole
From which the piles grow like banánas.

NEPTUNE

There's a season in Neptune's affairs
When the lovers get frozen in pairs.
   Though the sunshine's appealin'
   Towards perihelion,
It's for Winter they all say their prayers.

PLUTO

The Plutonian male is so small
He lives in the vaginal wall.
   He dreams of seductions,
   Wild rapes and abductions --
Much like you and me, after all.

A FIG FOR NEWTON

A spaceman and girl in free fall
Obeyed the progenitive call.
   But Newton's Third Rule
   Grabbed hold of his tool,
And shot him across to the wall.