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We received a DMCA takedown notice for the complete "Cyber-Hymenal".
Apparently the University of Southern California (USC) has the copyright to the
work. Go figure. The lawyer stated that it a "work for hire" since it was done while
working for the university.
Since the book is unavailable, here is
a summary of the contents:
Title: FUCLA/FUGLY
Tune: Sons of California
First Line: High up in the hills of Westwood
Chorus begins: U (clap, clap, clap) G (clap, clap, clap)
Title: FUCLA/FUGLY (Freshman Version)
First Line: Bruins are a bunch of sissies
Chorus begins: Songgirls are a bunch of slobs
Title: BRUIN BANDIES (The Mighty Bruins)
First Line: We are the bruin bandies
Chorus begins: You (clap, clap, clap) Suck (clap, clap, clap)
Title: CAL FIGHT SONG
Tune: "Taps" Bridge
First Line: The Dirty golden bear is losing all his hair.
Title: NOTRE DAME FIGHT SONG
First Line: Ara is gone but Dan was Devine
Title: STANFORD FIGHT SONG
First Line: Dear Stanford U. your red and white is always screwed.
Title: WASHINGTON FIGHT SONG
First Line: Bow wow to Washington.
Title: OKLAHOMA FIGHT SONG
Tune: Boomer Sooner)
First Line: Can you smell that foul aroma?
Title: MICHIGAN FIGHT SONG
Tune: The Victors
First Line: Why do they call them victors?
Title: OHIO STATE FIGHT SONG
First Line: Take a bow, Ohio State, for firing what's-his-name.
Title: TEXAS A & M AGGIES
Tune: Yogi Bear
First Line: We are the members of the Kiddie Corps, we go down the field
marching 8 to 4
Title: BITE ON
Tune: Fight On
First Line: Bite on, for old A.B., and you will find a cavity
Title: RAPE ON
Tune: Fight On, 3rd Chorus
First Line: Rape on, for old SC, and fuck some sheep for ecstasy!
Title: ESTHER
First Line: Down in cunt valley where red rivers flow
Chorus begins: She'll blow you, she'll fuck you, she'll gnaw on your nuts
Title: CARDINALS BE DAMNED
Tune: Rambling Wreck from Georgia Tech
First Line: I wish I had a prick of steel
Title: HERE'S TO DR. BARTNER
Tune: Rambling Wreck from Georgia Tech
First Line: Oh, here's to Dr. Bartner, the dirty son-of-a-bitch!
Title: HERE'S TO TONY FOX (Who?)
First Line: Oh here's to Tony Fox, the man with no respect.
Title: HERE'S TO GREG MICHEALS (The Fag)
First Line: Oh here's to Greg Micheals, the man who wears a dress.
Title: HERE'S TO DOREEN BUTLER (The Wench)
First Line: Oh, here's to Doreen Butler the ugly, tanless witch.
Title: HERE'S TO RICHARD ITO (The Man, The Tuba, The Legend)
First Line: When you hear a bump note that sounds really out of place
Title: EVERYONE'S COMING ON MOSES
Tune: Everything's Coming Up Roses
First Line: In his mouth, down his chin, there is no place the cum can't get
in
Title: THE USC VIRGIN
First Line: She was a virgin in her freshman year
Title: SHEILA
Tune: Billboard March
First Line: Knock knock! Who's there? Sheila.
Title: DON'T BE A LEADER, BE AN ASSHOLE!!
First Line: Don't be a leader, be an asshole
Title: SIT ON MY FACE
Tune: Red River Valley
First Line: Come and sit on my face if you love me
Come and sit of my face if you care
Title: ROLL ME OVER
First Line: And now it's number one, and the fun has just begun
Chorus begins: Roll me over in the clover
Title: I PUT MY HAND
Tune: When Johnny Comes Marching Home
First Line: I put my hand upon her toe, yo ho, yo ho
Title: TAKE ME OUT FOR A BALL, DAME
First Line: Take me out for a ball, dame, take me out for a screw
Title: LAST NIGHT
First Line: Last night I stayed at home and masturbated
Title: BIG TITS
Tune: I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing
First Line: I dreamt I saw big tits last night as big as life can be
Chorus begins: They're the biggest things (those tits!!)
Title: SOUND OFF
First Line: I don't know, but it's been told an eskimo's pussy is mighty
cold!
Chorus beings: Sound off -- Eat shit!
Title: PUT ANOTHER OVUM IN HER UTERUS
Tune: Sheriff John's Birthday Song
First Line: Put another ovum in her uterus
Title: FUCK, FUCK, FUCK MY BUTT
Tune: Row, Row, Row Your Boat
First Line: Fuck, fuck, fuck my butt
Title: YOU CAN TELL
Tune: As The Caissons Go Rolling Along
First Line: You can tell by the smell that she isn't feeling well
Title: SCREW ME SLOW
Tune: Let it Snow
First Line: Oh, the weather outside is frightful but your dick is so
delightful
Title: AND NOW FOR SOME SACRILEGE...
Tune: Has anybody seen my gal?
First Line: Five foot nine, from Palestine, changes water into wine
Title: TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
First Line: On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Title: CHECK THE BALLS
Tune: Deck the Halls
First Line: Check the balls on that big collie
Title: BLACK CHRISTMAS
Tune: White Christmas
First Line: I'm dreaming of a Black Christmas
Title: BIG PENIS
Tune: White Christmas)
First Line: I'm dreaming of your big penis
Title: WILD WEST SHOW
First Line: In this corner we have the tattooed lady!
Chorus begins: We're off to see the Wild West Show
Title: AY Yi Yi Yi
Tune: Cielito Lindo
First Line: There once was a man from Nantucket
Chorus beings: Ay yi yi yi, freshmen never eat pussy!
Miscellaneous Cheers:
1) Ritty Titty Rat Fuck
2) Lean to the left ....
3) Secant, Tangent, Cosine, Sine.
4) One two, Fuck You.
5) Broken Rubber
6) Mercury, Mars, Earth, Venus..
Title: YOUNG AND HARD
Tune: Young at Heart
First Line: Phallic tales can come true you can always get screwed
Title: OVER THE STOMACH
Tune: Over the River
First Line: Over the stomach and thru the legs it's up in my twat you go!
Title: GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL VAGINA
Tune: Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow
First Line: There's a great big beautiful vagina
Title: SASAFRASS
Tune: Ta Ra Ra Boom De Ay
First Line: I got a pal named Sasafrass she had pimples on her butt
Title: MY FAVORITE THINGS
First Line: Gang bangs and poontangs and vaseline jelly
Title: TWELVE INCH HARD ON
Tune: I'm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover
First Line: I've got a start on a 12" hard on
Title: ART'S HARD ON
First Line: Art's got a start on a 2" hard on
Title: NOTHIN' COULD BE FINER
First Line: Nothin' could be finer than to be in her vagina in the morning!
Title: JED CLAMPET
Tune: Beverly Hillbillies
First Line: Let me tell you all a story 'bout a man named Jed
Title: BARNACLE BALLS
First Line: Who's that knocking at my door?
Title: YESTERDAY
First Line: Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away
Now I guess that blister's here to stay
I wish I'd stayed home yesterday.
Title: EAT MY BUTT OUT
Tune: Hallelujah Chorus
First Line: Please lick my sweaty balls they're so dirty
Chorus begins: Eat my butt out
Title: PUBIC HAIR
Tune: Baby Face
First Line: Pubic hair, You've got the cutest patch of pubic hair
Title: SWING LOW
First Line: Swing low, sweet chariot, comin' for to carry me home
Title: DANCE A LITTLE BIT
First Line: My father's a _____.
Chorus beings: Dance a little bit, fuck a little bit
Title: PEEL BACK
Tune: My Bonnie lies over the ocean
First Line: My oneskin lies over my twoskin
Title: THE GIRL I WANNA MARRY
First Line: She's a great big bitch, twice the size of me
Chorus beings: She can swim, fish, fight, fuck
Title: B-A-Double R-Y
Tune: H-A-Double R-I-G-A-N
First Line: B-A-Double R-Y, my name is Barry
Title: A SILK IN THE TMB
Tune: A Hole In the Bottom of the Sea
First Line: There's a silk in the TMB, there's a silk in the TMB
Title: BAND LORE LIMERICK
First Line: A helmet young David had taken
Title: Top 10 Trumpet Drinking Games
10. Party 'til You Puke
9. Trojan 8-Ball
8. Animal House Drinking Game
7. Quarters
6. 3-Man
5. Speed Quarters
4. Evil Knievel
3. The Name Game
2. Trojan Trivia (a.k.a. Stump the Freshmen)
1. Trumpet Football
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