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INTRODUCTION

These are the songs of men who fly, fight, and die
for their country. Some who have written and many who
have sung these songs have done all three. Some who will
sing them have done none of these things* It is so that
the latter will understand the former and aspire to the
example they set that this collection is offered. Some
of these songs are profounds some are profanei some are
obscene i hut all are intended to he a unifying bond for
all those who risk their lives to preserve our country's
freedom, Therefore, this songbook is dedicated to the
purpose that EVERYBODY SINGS and has a good time.

This is a word of warning to those readers whose tender
sensibilities may be offended ty the language of these
ballads. But it is NOT an apology for them. For these
are the songs that are sung by flying men throughout the

English speaking worl£. They reflect the manners of men
at war, the morals of pilots who drink to forget for an
evening the combat mission they must fly at dawn. Many of
the lyrics were adapted to the Vietnam and Korean "situations"
after having been popular in itforld itfar I and II, and at
least one or two of them were sung around the campfires on
the eve of Gettysburg. It follows, therefore, that they
are not a product of a particular degenerate age. They are
instead, as they have always been, an intregal part of
military life in the field} no more and no less so than a
cold tert, bathing in a helmet, or the sorting of a buddy's
personal effects for shipment home. You must accept or
ignore them as we accept or ignore the conditions that
inspired their authors to write them ar^ ur to sing them.

table or cc::t£k?s

h mmw mm

Fireball on the Hillside 1

Cool .;ater 2

Yellow Hose of Texas 2

Waltzing Matilda - 3

Dixie 3

The Street8 of Laredo 4

Auralee 4

Landlord, Fill the Plowing Bowl 5

Air Force Song 6

SECTICr II. SOKGS CF KORSA

Kunsan Air Base 7

I /.'anted to Play Piano in a Whore House 7

Ode to the Eighth 8

Kunsan by the Sea 9

Kotex Song 9

A Night in A~Tewn 10

Beneath a Korean Waterfall 11

On Top of Old Hanoi 11

North of P Y Do 12

Ny Way 13

Hysteria 14

I'm Going Home 14

Bronco Song 15

The Only Man 16

Uncle John and Auntie Kabel 16

Sixteen Times 17

Oh, Rip the Feathers Away 17

Sammy Small 16

PACAF IG's Coning 19

The Aggressors 20

The Victor Alert Song 21

SECTION III. SOKGS OF YORE

Here*8 to the Regular Air Force 22

Bless 'Em All 23

Roll Me Over 23

Let's Have a Party 24

Jolly, Jolly England 25

There v.as a Little Bird 25

Give Me Operations 26

Throw a Nickle on the Grass 27

I Wanted Wings 28

Boo«in* Buddies 29

My /Uld Irish Rose 29

Itazuke Tower 30

ifould You Like to Sit on My Pace 30

Fighter Pilots 31

Come and Join the Air Force 32

$bctj;ok iv. mrm w mem ?qn<?$

Fighter Pilots Eat Pussy 33

Function Junction 37

Vit Kein Hand on Me in Self 38

Swing Low Sweet Chariot 38

It's a Lie 39

Hail Britannia 39

No Balls at All 40

The Duchess 41

Last Night 42

I Fucked a Dead Whore 42

Adeline Schmidt 43

Balls of O'Leary 43

The Bloody Great Wheel 44

The Little Brown Mouse 44

Tie My Pecker to a Tree 45

Ily Father Was a Fireman 46

Fighter Pilot's Toast 46

Don't Burn the Shithouse Down 46

The Scotch Wedding 47

Street Cleaner's Song 48

Joy to the World 48

Bang it into Lulu 49

I'm Your Mailman 50

Woodpecker Song «0

The Lady in Red 51

The Sheepherder 51

Blessed Are Women 51

The Camel 52

Roll Your Leg Over 53

My How the Money Rolls In 54

Mary Ann Burns 55

I Love My Wife 55

Nelly Darling 55

Mrs. Murphy 56

Pubic Hairs 56

My Girl 56

Sally in the Alley 56

My Husband's a Colonel 57

The Twelve Days of Christmas 57

Take a 1eg

Do Your Balls Hang Low?
So Long, Mom
Six Founds of Boobies
Clt Gray Bustle
Cn lop of Cld

SECTION V. SONGS 0? SEA
Tchepone

Ghost Fuckers in the Sky
Downtown

My Grandfather's Cock
Northward Ho
The Cuckoo Song
Jingle Bells

Oh, Little Town of Ho Chi Kinh

We Sold Our Cow

Stop Kicking My Fuf Around

THERE'S A FIREBALL DOWN THERE ON THE HILLSIDE,
AND I THINK MAYBE WE'VE LOST A FRIEND,
BUT WE'LL KEEP CN FLYING AND WE'LL KEEP ON DYIN\
FOR DUTY AND HONOR NEVER END.

THERE'S AN UPENDED GLASS CM THE TABLE,

DOWN IN FRONT OF A LONE EMPTY CHAIR,

YESTERDAY, WE WERE WITH HIM, TODAY GOD BE WITH HIE,

WHEREVER HE IS IN YOUR CARE*

THEY WERE FOUR WHEN THEY TOOK OFF THIS MORNING •

AMD THEIR DUTY WAS THERE IK THE SKY,

ONLY THREE SHIPS RETURN IN*, BLUE 4 AIN'T RETURKIft *,

TC BLUE k THEN HOLD YOUR GLASSES HIGH.

THERE'S A FIREBALL DOWN THERE ON THE HILLSIDE,
AND I THINK MAYBE WE'VE LOST A FRIEND,
BUT 'WE'LL KEEP ON FLYING AND WE'LL KEEP ON DYIN•,
FOR DUTY AND HONOR NEVER END.

AN IRISH AIRMAN FORSEES HIS DEATH

- I KNOW THAT T SHALL MEET MY FATE
SOMEWHERE AMONG THE CLOUDS ABOVE;
THOSE I FIGHT I DC NOT KATE,

THOSE I GUARD I DO NOT LOVE----

NOT LAV, NOR DUTY BADE ME FIGHT,
NOR PUBLIC MEN - NCR CHEERING CROWDS.
A LONELY IMPULSE OF DELIGHT
DROVE TO THIS TUMULT IN THE CLOUDS.
I BALANCED ALL, BROUGHT ALL TO MIND,
THE YEARS TO COME SEEK WASTE OF BREATH,
A WASTE CF BREATH, THE YEARS BEHIND
IN BALANCE WITH THIS LIFE, THIS DEATH."

Poem by William Butler Yeats

POOL WATER

AI L DAY I '75 FACED THE BARREN V/ASTE

.. ;vhci;t the taste c? water, cool, clear sater,

( \.\> lai; AND I .','ITH THROATS SO LRY,

i'l'o 1HCSE I HAT CRY for WATER, COOL, CLEAR WATER .

HthuSi aEEF A-MCVIN* DAN, DON'T YOU LISTEN TO HIK DAN,
HE'S A DEVIL, NOT A KAN,

AiiD HE SPREADS THE BURNING SANDS WITH WATER,
DAN, CAi. YCU SEE THAT BIG GREET* TREE,
.VHEftE THE WATER'S PLOWING PREE,
AND IT'S WAITING THERE FOR YOU AND ME.

THfc. NIGHTS ARE COOL AND I'M A FOOL.
i'.ACH STAR'S A POOL OF WATER, COOL, CLEAR WATER,
hut WITH THE DAWN I'LL WAKE AND YAWN,
and CARRY OK TO HATER, COCL, CLEAR WATER.

THE SHADOWS SWAY AND SEEM TO SAY,

TONIGHT WE PRAY FOR WATER, COOL, CLEAR WATER,

AN I j WAY UP THERE HE'LL HEAR OUR PRAYER*

AND SHOW US WHERE THERE'S WATER, COOL, CLEAR WATER.

YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS

tiii'^': A YELLCV* RCSE IK TEXAS, I'M GOING THERE TO SEE.
u i THEE FELLOW KNOWS HER, NOBODY ONLY ME.

• IL-. CRIED SO WHEN I LEFT HER, IT LIKE TO BROKE HER HEART,
and IF EVER MEET AGAIN, WE NEVER MORE SHALL PART.

• hokijsi SHE'S THE SWEETEST ROSE OF COLOR A FELLOW EVER KNEW,

HER EYES ARE BRIGHT AS DIAMONDS, THEY SPARKLE LIKE THE DEW.

YOU MAY TALK ABOUT YOUR DEAREST MAID

AND SING OF ROSA LEE,

BUT THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS

BEATS THE GALS OF TENNESSEE.

nil. I'M GOING BACK TO FIND HER, MY HEART IS FULL OF WCS.
A'i'M.l. SING THE SONGS TOGETHER, WE SANG SC LONG AGO.
I'll. IICK THE BANJC GAILY, AND SING THE SONGS of YORE,
AM' THE YELLC.V ROSE OF TEXAS SHALL BE MINE FOR EVER MORE.

M2MJMM

ONCE A JOLLY SWAGMAN CAMPED BY THE BRILL-ALOKG,
UNDER THE SHADE OF A COOLXBAH TREE,

AND HE SANG AS HE SAT AND WAITED TILL HIS BILLY BOILED,
YOU'LL COKE A-WALTZING MATILDA WITH I»!E.

CHORUS« WALTZING MATILDA, WALTZING MATILDA.

YOU'LL COMB A-WALTZING MATILDA WITH MS.

AND HE SANG AS HE SAT AND WAITED FOR HIS BILLY BOILED,

YOU'LL COME A-WALTZING MATILDA WITH ME.

DOWN CAKE A JUMBUCK TO DRINK AT THE BILLALONG,
UP JUMPED THE SWAGMAN AND GRABBED HIM WITH GLEE,
AND HE SANG AS HE STOWED THAT JUMBUCK IN HIS TUCKER BAG,
YOU'LL COME A-WALTZING MATILDA WITH MB.

UP RODE A SQUATTER MOUNTED ON HIS THOROUGHBRED,
UP RODE HIS TROOPS, ONE, TWO, THREE.

WHERE'S THAT JOLLY JUMBUCK. YOU'VE GOT IN YOUR TUCKEH BAG?
YOU'LL COME A-WALTZING MATILDA WITH MB.

UP JUMPED THE SWAGMAN, SPRANG INTO THE BRILLALONG,
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE SAID HE,

AND HIS GHOST MAY BE HEARD AS YOU PASS BY THE BRILLALONG,
YOU'LL COME A-WALTZING MATILDA WITH ME.

DIXIE

I WISH I WAS IN DA LAND OF COTTON,

OLD TIMES DAR AM NOT FORGOTTEN,

LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY, DIXIELAND.

OH, I 'WISH I WAS IN DIXIE, HURRAH, HURRAH,
IK DIXIE LAND I'LL TAKE MY STAND,
TO LIVE AND DIE IN DIXIE,
AWAY, AWAY, AWAY DOWN SOUTH IN DIXIE.

THE ?f

A3 I TALKED CUT ON THE STREETS OF LAREDO.
AS I WALKED OUT II.* LAREDO CUE DAY,
I SPIED A CGa'PUNCHER ALL -/RAPPED U? Ill WHITE LINEN,
ALL WRAPPED UP IN WHITE LINEN AS COLD A3 THE CLAY.

OH, BEAT THE DRUii SLOWLY AND PLAY THE FIFE LOWLY,
PLAY THE DEATH MARCH A3 YOU CARRY ME ALONG,
TAKE ME TO THE VALLEY, THERE LAY THE SOD O'ER ME,
FOR I'M A YOUNG COWBOY AND I KNOW I'VE DONE WRONG.

I SEE BY YOUR OUTFIT THAT YOU ARE A COWBOY,
THESE WORDS HE DID SAY AS I SLOWLY STEPPED BY,
COME SIT DOWN BESIDE ME AND HEAR MY SAD STORY.
I'M SHOT IN THE BREAST AND I KNOW I MUST DIE.

IT WAS ONCE IN THE SADDLE I USED TO GO DASHING,
ONCE IN THE SADDLE I USED TO GO GAY,

THEN I FIRST TOOK TO DRINKING AND THEN TOOK TO GAMBLING.
GOT SHOT IN THE BREAST AND I'M DYING TODAY.

LET SIXTEEN GAMBLERS COME CARRY MY COFFIN.

LET SIX PRETTY MAIDENS COMB SING ME A SONG.

TAKE HE TO THE GRAVEYARD, THERE ROLL THE SOB O'ER ME,

FOR I'M A YOUNG COWBOY AND I KNOW I'VE DONE WRONG.

WE BEAT THE DRUM SLOWLY AND PLAYED THE FIFE LOWLY,
AND BITTERLY WEFT AS WE BORE HIM ALONG,

FOR WE ALL LOVED OUR COMRADE SO BRAVE, YOUNG, AND HANDSOME,
WE ALL LOVED OUR COMRADE ALTHC' HE'D DONE WRONG.

^A1TM*

AS THE BLACKBIRDS IN THE SFRING 'NEATH THE WILLOW TREE,
SAT AND PIPED THE SONG THEY SANG, SINGING AURALEE.

AURALEE, AURALEE, MAID WITH GOLDEN HAIR,
SUNSHINE CAME ALONG WITH THEE
AND SHADOWS IN YOUR HAIR.

THREE JOLLY COACHMEN SAT IN AN ENGLISH TAVERN,
THREE JOLLY COACHMEN SAT IN AN ENGLISH TAVERN,
THERE THEY DECIDED THAT, THERE THEY DECIDED THAT,
THERE ?H2Y DECIDED THAT THEY'D HAVE ANOTHER FLAGON.

CHORUS» OK, LANDLORD, FILL THE FLOWING BO'WL
UNTIL IT DOTH RUN OVER.
OH, LANDLORD, FILL THE FLOWING BOWL
UNTIL IT DOTH RUN OVER.
FOR TONIGHT 'WE'LL MERRY, MERRY BE;
FOR TONIGHT WE'LL MERRY, MERRY BE;
FOR TONIGHT WE'LL MERRY, MERRY BE;
TOMORROW WE'LL BE SOBER.

HERE'S TO THE MAN WHO DRINKS LIGHT ALE AND GOES TO BED QUITE SOBER,
HERE'S TO THE MAN WHO DRINKS LIGHT ALE AND GOES TO BED QUITE SOBER,
HE FALLS AS THE LEAVES DO FALL, FALLS AS THE LEAVES DO FALL,
HE FALLS AS THE LEAVES DO FALL, HE'LL DIE BEFORE OCTOBER!

HERE'S TO THE MAN WHO DRINKS STOUT ALE, AND GOES TO BED QUITE
MELLOW,

KERENS TO THE MAN WHO DRINKS STOUT ALE, AND GOES TO BED QUITE
MELLOW,

HE LIVES AS HE OUGHT TO LIVE, HE LIVES AS HE OUGHT TO LIVE,
HE LIVES AS HE OUGHT TO LIVE, AND HE'LL DIE A JOLLY FELLOW!

HERE'S TO THE MAID WHO STEALS A KISS AND RUNS TO TELL KBR MOTHER,
HERE'S TO THE MAID WHO STEALS A KISS AND RUNS TO TELL HER MOTHER,
SHE'S A FOOLISH, FOOLISH, THING, SHE'S A FOOLISH. FOOLISH_tlHING,
SHE'S A FOOLISH, FOOLISH, THUG, SHE'LL NEVER GET ANOTHER!

HERE'S TO THE MAID WHO STEALS A KISS AND STAYS TO GET ANOTHER,

HERE'S TO THE MAID WHO STEALS A KISS AND STAYS TO GET ANOTHER,
SHE'S A BOON TO ALL MANKIND, SHE'S A BOON TO ALL MANKIND,
SHE'S A BOON TO ALL MANKIND, SHE'LL BE A FRUITFUL MOTHER!

0?? WE GC, II.TC THE WILD BLUE YONDER,

CLIMBING HIGH, INTC fHl SUN.

HERE THE! GCKE ZOOMING TC MEET CUR THUNDER,

AT *Ett BOYS, GIVE HER THE SUN.

DOWN WE DIVE, SPOUTING OUR FLAME FROM UNDER,

OFF WITH ONE HELL OF A ROAR,

WE LIVE IN FAME, OR GO DOWN IN FLAKE,

NOTHING CAN STOP THE U.S. AIR FORCE.

CHORUS« HERE'S A TOAST TC THE HOST OF THOSE 'WHO LOVE
THE VASTNESS OF THE STY.
TO A FRIEND WE SEND A MESSAGE OF
HIS BROTHER MEN WHO FLY.

WE DRINK TO THOSE 'WHO GAVE THEIR ALL OF OLD,
THEN DOWN WE ROAR TO SCORE THE RAINBOW'S PCT OF GOLD.
HERE'S A TOAST TO THE HOST OP THE MEN WE BOASTt
TOE U. S. AIR FORCE.

MINDS OF KEN FASHIONED A CRATE OF THUNDER,

SENT If HIGH INTO THE BLUE.

HANDS OF MEN BLASTED TIGS WORLD ASUNDER*

HOW THEY LIVID, COS ONLY KNEW I

SOULS OF MEN DREAMING OF SKIES TO CONQUER,

GAVE US WINGS OVER TO SOAR.

WITH SCOOTS BEFORE AND BOMBERS GALORE.

NOTHING CAN STOP THE U. S. AIR FORCE.

OFF WE GO INTO THE BLUE SKY YONDER.

KEEP YOUR WX2«G5 LEVEL AND TRUE.

IF YOU'D LIVE TO BE A GRAY-HAIRED WONDER,

KEEP YOUR NOSE OUT OF THE BLUE!

FLYING MEN GUARDING OUR NATION'S BORDERS.

WE'LL BE THERE FOLLOWED BY MORE.

IN ECHELON WE CARRY ON,

NOTHING CAN STOP THE U* S. AIR FORCE!

mm air

(Sweet Betsy from Pike)

HERE'S 70 OLD KUNSAN, IT'S A HELL OP A PLACE.
THE WAY THINGS ARE RUN IS A PRIGGING DISGRACE.
THERE'S CAPTAINS. AND MAJORS, AND LITE COLONELS TOG,
WITH THEIR THUMBS UP THEIR ASSES AND NOTHING TO DC.

THEY STAND ON THE FLIGHTLINE AND SCREAM AND THEY SHOUT.
THEY SCREAM ABOUT THINGS THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.
FOR ALL THE GOOD THEY DO, THEY MIGHT AS WELL BE
SHOVELING SHIT ON THE ISLE OF CAPRI.

IT'S UP IN THE MORNING AND TO THE LATRINE.
IT BURNS WHEN I PISS CAUSE I'VE BEEN WITH A QUEEN.
I'VE GOT IT BAD, AND I'M TELLING YOU,
IP YOU DON'T QUIT "RUNNIN 'EM", YOU'LL HAVE IT TOO.

WHEN THIS YEAR IS OVER, WE'LL ALL GO BACK HOME.
BACK TO OUR ROUND-EYES AND NEVER MORE ROAM.
TO HELL WITH OLD KUNSAN AND HER MISERY,
TO HELL WITH OLD KUNSAN AND ALL HER YD.

I WANT TO PLAY PIANO IN A WHORE HOPSE

OH, I WANT TO PLAY PIANO IN A WHORE HOUSE.
THAT IS MY ONE DESIRE.

SOME PEOPLE MAY BE BANKERS, OR FARMERS OUT IN BUTTE,
I JUST WANT TO FLAY IN A HOUSE OP ILL REPUTE.

DON'T LAUGH AT THIS. MY HUMBLE ASPIRATION,

FOR CARNAL COPULATION'S HERE TO STAY, I DON'T WANT FAME OR RICHES,
I JUST WANT TO PLAY FOR THOSE OLD BITCHES,
I WANT TO PLAY PIANO IN A WHORE HOUSE.

ODE TO IKS EIGHTH (Sweet Betsy Fron Pike)

HERE'S fO THE PUSSIES, THE WEAK 35TH,
THE FIGWriN'EST SQUADRON YOU'LL EVER BE WITH,
THEY*Rt KEN WITH IDEALS, THEY'RE BOLD, BRAVE AND TRUE,
VHILE FIGHTIN' FROM BARSTOOLS AND CHASIN' MISS KU.

LET'S PAUSE, FILL OUR GLASSES, AND RAISE THEE ON HIGH,
WE'LL TOAST THE HEADHUNTERS AS THEY TAKE TO THE SKY,
LOOK THERE'S ONE, AND THERE'S ONE, AND HERE COKES ONE MORE,
BUT DON'T GET YCUR HOPES UP, THEY'LL NEVER GET UP POUR.

THEY FLEW SINGLE-SEATERS, THEY PULLED LOTS OF •G'S",
THEY SKIPPED, STRAFED. AND DIVE BOMBED AND DID IT ALL WITH EASE,
IT USED TO TAKE ONE MAN AND ROW IT TAKES TWO,
TWICE AS MUCH AIRCRAFT AND NOTHING TO DO.

THE F4 IS LAZY, THE P*t IS PINE,
MORE TIME FOR SINGING AND WOMEN AND WINE.
AIR TO GROUND LOCKON, GO FREEZE AND INSERT,
THEN PICKLE, GO HOME, AND SIT TEES ALERT.

BUT DON'T GET MS WRONG,CAUSE THE EIGHTH MING IS GREAT,
THE DUTY THEY'VE SEEN MOULD TAKE LONG TO RELATE,
*HEY FOUGHT AND THEY HON, I* COST MANY GOOD MEN,
THEY DID IT FOR US AND WE'LL DO IT TO ttOH.

YES, THEY DID IT FOR US AND WE'LL DO IT TO THEM.

mw re Tag m

(On Top of Old Smokey)

WAY OUT IN KOREA • IS A PLACE CALLED THE KUN.
IF I NEVER SIB IT AGAIN, IT'LL BE TOO SOON.

THE GUYS AT RANDOLPH, SENT ME TO THIS WING.

THEY SAID, "SON, YOU'LL LIKE IT, IT'S CAREER BROADENING."

SO COME YOU YOUNG FELLAS, AND LISTEN TO ME.
I'LL SING YOU A SAD SONG, OF KUNSAN BY THE SEA.

THE SUMMERS ARE HOT THERE, AND RIPE KIMCHI TASTES SWELL.
THE PADDIES ARE GROWING, THEY STINK LIKE HELL.

THE WINTERS ARE COLD, AND THE WIND IT DOSS BLOW.
YOU SIT DOWN III SILVER TOWN, THERE'S NO PLACE TO GO.

THE YO'S DOWN IN A-TOWN, MAKE THE TIME PASS AWAY.
FOR 4,000 WON, YOU'RE A LOVER AIL DAY.

OSCAR AND OB, HELP EASE THE PAIN.

BETTER HAVE ANOTHER, IT'S PAST MIDNICMT AGAIN.

ONE DAY IT WILL HAPPEN, THE 3 HOLER FOR ME.
AND I'LL NEVER REMEMBER, OLD KUNSAN BY THE SEA.

KOTEX SONG
(Caissons go Rolling Along)

YOU CAN TELL BY THE SMELL THAT SHE ISN'T FEELING WELL,
WHEN THE END OF THE MONTH ROLLS AROUND.

HOW SHE TURNS, HOW SHE SQUIRMS, HOW SHE GETS A CASE OF WORMS,

WHEN THE END OF THE MONTH ROLLS AROUND.

FOR IT'S HI - HI - HEE IN THE KOTEX INDUSTRY.

CALL OUT YOUR SIZES LOUD AND STRONGt

SUPER - JUNIOR - BAND-AID.

FOR WHERE ERE YOU GO , THE BLOOD WILL ALWAYS FLOW,
WHEN THE END OF THE MONTH ROLLS AROUND.

A KMff - fr-ttW

A little shade of light.
a bed vith sheets sc whitei
A little light, A vjiet rcom,
A little lcvikg ik the glocmj
A fair of lips, sc «aem and wet,
A little whisper, "rlease kct yet"»
A little pillow ?cr the head,
slipped beneath the hips instead.

a little effort to begin,
A little help to get it ik|
A little ARM that grips me tight,
when i ask, "does it feel all right?"
she smiles and says. "it feels so good",
and i reply, "i knew it would."

two little legs around me wind,
two slanted eyes look into minej
a little movement to and fro,
a little whisper, "give me more."

two little hearts beat as one,
two little lovers having funj
a little hunch, a little sigk_va little question, "you come yet, g.i.?"

a little effort to repeat,
a little spot upon the sheet;
a little shower when you're through,
a little drink, kaybe two.

finally, a little sleep and then,
a little breakfast at half-past teni
then you arise and fut on your hat,
look back and say, "did i fuck that?"

BENEATH A KOREAN WATERFALL, ONE BRIGHT AND SUNNY DAY,
BESIDE HIS SHATTERED PHANTOM JET, A YOUNG PHOT LAY.
HIS PARACHUTE HUNG FROM A NEARBY TREE. HE WAS NOT

YET QUITE DEAD,
SO LISTEN TO THE VERY LAST WORDS THE YOUNG PILOT SAIDi

"'WE'RE GOING TO A BETTER LAND WHERE EVERYTHING IS BRIGHT,
WHERE Y/KISKEY FLOWS FROM TELEGRAPH POLES i
PLAY POKER EVERY NIGHT!

WE HAVEN'T GOT A THING TO DO BUT SIT AROUND AND SING,

AND ALL CUR CREWS ARE WOMEN, OH! DEATH, WHERE IS THY STING?"

OH, DEATH, WHERE IS THY STING, TING-A-LING,
OH, DEATH, WHERE I? THY STING.
THE BELLS OF HELL WILL RING, RING-A-LING,
FOR YOU BUT NOT FOR ME!

OH, RING-A-LING-A-LING-LING, BLOW IT CUT YOUR ASS.
RING-A-1ING-A-LING-LING, BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS.
RING-A-LING-A-LING-LING, BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS.
BETTER DAYS ARE COMING BYE AND BYE!

ON TpP QF OH) KANO;
(On Top of Old Smokey)

ON TOP OF OLD HANOI, ALL COVERED WITH FLAK,
I LOST MY POOR WINGKAN, HE'LL NEVER COME BACK.
FOR FLYING IS PLEASURE, AND DYING IS GRIEF,
AND A QUICK TRIGGERED COMMIE IS WORSE THAN A THIEF.

FOR A THIEF WILL JUST ROB YOU, AND TAKE ALL YOU HAVE,
BUT A QUICK TRIGGERED COMMIE WILL SEND YOU TO THE GRAVE.
AND THE GRAVE WILL DESTROY YOU, AND TURN YOU TO DUST.
NOT ONE MIG IN A THOUSAND, A PHANTOM CAN TRUST.

NOW WHEN THE BAD WEATHER KEEPS THE SHIPS DOWN,
ALL DAY WE CAN HEAR, THIS HORRIBLE SOUND,
"ATTENTION, ALL PILOTS, NOW LISTEN TO THIS,
THERE'LL BE A SHORT MEETING. THAT YOU DARE NOT MISS."

MffMBU T*W

(Ghost Riders)

HERB'S A STORY 'BOUT AN F4 FLIGHT AT KUNSAN ONE FINS DAY,

AN HOUR LATE FOR TAKEOFF AS THEY GOT ON THE RUNWAY,

THEY COULD BARELY SEE THE CSNTERLINS THRU ALL THE FOG AND RAIN, _—

AND THEY DIDN'T knc .* THE DEVIL HAD PUT A curse upon THEIR PLANE. ■

CURSE UPON THEIR PLANE, CURSE UPON THEIR PLANE, I

AND THEY DIDN'T KNOW THE DEVIL HAD PUT A CURSE UPON THEIR PLANE. ■

WELL, THEY LIT BOTH AFTERBURNERS AND THEY ROARED OFF THB0 THE FOG, I
THINKING 'BOUT THEIR REQUIREMENTS AND THE TIME THAT THEY WOULD LCG, |
AS THE AIRSPEED REACHED TWO HUNDRED, BOTH SETS OF THROTTLES STUCK, ■
the UHF AND TAG AN iuit AND THE GEAB WOULD NOT COME UP. ■

GEAR WOULD NOT COME UP, GEAR MOULD NOT COME UP, |

THE UHF AND TACAN QUIT AND THE GEAR WOULD NOT CONE UP. |

THEY FOUGHT TO KEEP CONTROL OF IT AND KEEP IT CLIMBING TOO ,
THEY PRAYED A FERVENT PRAYER TO GOD AND THEY SAID WHAT ttm MOULD DO,
HE WON'T SMOKE OR DRINK OR CHASE THE GIRLS, TO SIN WE'LL PUT A STOP,
NOV, DISREGARD THAT LAST PART, LORD, HE'SE VFR-ON-TOP.

VFR-ON-top, vfrkon-top,

now, disregard that last part, lord, we're vjpr-0*-top.

the airspeed joeached five hundred knots, the 6as has go in' fast,
they had enough to 8sich the ran(95 and hake at least one pass,
the undercast has breik23i' up as the wizzo hacked his hatch,
so they opened up the bomb doors and they headed for the crotch.

HEADED FOR THE CROTCH, HEADED FOR THE CROTCH,

SO THEY OPENED UP THE BOMB doors and THEY headed for the crotch.

"WHERE ARE WE?" SAID THE PILOT. AND THE GIB SAID, "NO SWEAT, JACK,
I'LL GET YCU TO THE TARGET, JUST HAKE SURE YOU GET US BACK."
ALL THE RADAR SITES WERE CALLIN' THEH, TOO BAD THEY DIDN'T KNOH,
AMD THEY DISAPPEARED THAT EVENIN' SOMEWHERE NORTH OF P T DO.

NORTH OF P Y DO, NORTH OF P Y DO,

AND THEY DISAPPEARED THAT EVENIN' SOMEWHERE NORTH OF P Y 00.
GO IN* FAST, STAYIN' LOW,

AND THEY DISAPPEARED THAT EVENIN' SOMEWHERE NORTH OF P Y DO.

HLJ&

AMD NOW, THE END IS NEAR, AND SO I FACE THE FINAL CURTAIN.

I LOST MY OUTBOARD TANKS, MY GUN, MY BOMBS, MY WINGS I'M CERTAIN.

I PLANNED THE MISSION WELL, I BRIEFED TO FLY RIGHT DOWN THE HIGHWAY,

I ARMED IT UP AND PICKLED ONCE, AND DID IT MY WAY.

REGRETS, I HAVE A FEW, THEY DISAPPROVED MY LAST EXTENSION,

THEY'VE CAST A JAUNDICED EYE UPON THE NEED FOR MY RETENTION,

I FLEW THE DAY BEFORE, I LOGGED MY TIME, NOT IN A SHY WAY.

I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE LOGGED MUCH MORE, BUT I DID IT MY WAY.

WELL, THERE WERE TIKES, I'M SURE YOU KNEW, WHEN YOU WERE
GOOD, BUT I WAS TOO.

THE SCORES CAME BACK, YOU HAD YOUR DOUBT, I'D WON IT ALL,
I'D CLEANED YOU OUT.

TODAY THAT'S CHANGED, I HISSED THE RANGE, BUT HIT THE HIGHWAY.

I'VE LOVED, I'VE LAUGHED AND CRIED, I'VE HAD MY FILL,
MY SHARE OF LOSING.

AND NOW THEY SAY I LIED, BUT I DON'T CARE, IT'S SO AMUSING.

MY BOSS DISCUSSED THE FLIGHT, EACH DETAILED STEP, ALONG THE BIWAY,

AND THEN HE SAID, "DON'T USE YOUR HEAD, JUST DO IT MY WAY."

BUT I'VE GOT TO STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET, SO KEEP YOUR KIDS
OFF OP THE STREET.

I'VE GOT TO FLY, AND FIGHT , AND SING, TO KEEP MY COOL AND DO
MY THING.

I'LL CROSS THE SEAS, AND EVEN KILL THE TREES, BUT I'LL DO
IT MY WAY.

STUDY THIS, PRACTICE THAT, LEARN YOUR K« F,

GET YOUR TAC CHECK DCNE TODAY AND FLY AN r C F,

YOU WILL FIND YCU HAVE TIKE TC EAT AND SLEEP ANL BREATHE,

YOU'LL PRAY THAT YOUR BOSS WILL SEND YCU HOKE C LEAVE.

CHORUSi YOU MUST NOT ALLOW HYSTERIA, HYSIEr.IA, HYSTERIA,
IT'S A MENACE TO YOUR AREA, HYSTERIA TODAY.

AIR TO GROUND, AIR TO AIR, AIR REFUELING TOO.

THE F4 TAKES YOUR HEART AMD MIND AND SOUL AND BODY TOO.

YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER'S LEFT TO FINISH CUT THE YEAR,

TO TAKE SOKE TESTS AND WRITE YOUR WIFE AND BUY YOURSELF A BEER.

CHORUS

YOU MIGHT THINK THAT ALL IS LOST, YOU'VE BEEN LEFT BEHIND.
TELL YOUR BOSS ABOUT IT AND HE'LL SAY IT'S ALL IN YOUR MIND.
YOU NEEDN'T WORRY, NEEDN'T FRET, YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH.
YOU'VE ONLY GOT A YEAR TO GO, JUST WATCH OUT WHAT YOU DO.

CHORUS.

I'M Ggm mm

(Caaptown Races)

I'M GOING HOME IN A BODY BAG, DO DAH, DO DAH.
I'M GOING HOME IN A BODY BAG, OH, DO DAH DAY.

I'M GOING HOME COD,
UNCLE'LL PAY THE FEE.

I'M GOING HOME IN A BODY BAG, OH, DO DAH DAY.

BRCNCC SONG

DEAR MOM, YOUR SON IS DEAD.
HE BOUGHT OWE FARM TODAY.

HE CRASHED HIS 0V-10 ON KIM IL SONG'S HIGHWAY.
IT WAS A ROCKET PASS ANT* HE BUSTED HIS ASS.
HMMl', HMMM, HMMM.

HE WENT ACROSS THE FENCE

TO SEE WHAT HE COULD SEE.

THERE IT WAS AS PLAIN AS IT COULD BE.

IT WAS A TRUCK ON THE ROAD WITH A BIG HEAVY LOAD.

HMMM, HMMM, HMMM.

HE GOT RIGHT CN THE HORN,
AND GAVE THE DASC A CALL.

"SEND ME AIR, I'VE GOT A TRUCK THAT'S STALLED.*
THE DASC SAID, "THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
I'LL SEND YOU LETTER FLIGHT."
HMMM, HMMM, HMMM.

THOSE PHANTOMS CHECKED RIGHT IN.

GUNFIGHTER, TWO BY TWO,

LOW ON GAS AND TANKER OVERDUE.

THEY ASKED THE FAC TO MARK JUST WHERE THAT TRUCK WAS PARKED.
HMMM, HMMM, HMMM.

THAT BRONCO ROLLED RIGHT IN

WITH HIS SMOKE TO MARK

EXACTLY WHERE THAT TRUCK WAS PARKED.

NOW THE REST IS IN DOUBT,

CAUSE HE NEVER PULLED OUT.

HMMM, HMMM, HMMM.

DEAR MOM, YOUR SON IS DEAD.
HE BOUGHT THE FARM TODAY.

HE CRASHED HIS OV-IO ON KIM IL SONG'S HIGHWAY.
IT WAS A ROCKET PASS AND HE BUSTED HIS ASS.
HIM, HIM, FUCK HIM!

■ Battle Hymn)

the wing to TREMBLE at the urccmng cri.

thsy r£:;c:i-_;ifhiii-::;o squares am> fabricating lies.

BUI Tn£Y k2,£w it ..cull nll -ZrzllL GU k ?xad& prc!.: the sky.
for the. tc pass the 61.

:HOrtuS« GORY, GORY, WHAT A HELLUVA WAY TO DIE,
GORY, GORY, -HAT A HELLUVA WAY TO DIE,
GORY, GORY, WHAT A HELLUVA WAY TO DIE,
BUT THEY PASSED THE ORI.

THEY LOOKED AROUND AND TRIED TO FIND THEIR MOST PROFICIENT STUD,
BUT MAJOR WRIGHT WAS TDY AND SLEAZE WAS SMASHED ON BUD.
WHEN MASTER BATES HEARD THE PLAN, HE PACKED HIS BAGS AND RAN,
SO THEY TURNED TO "THE ONLY MAN".

HE CAME ON IN AT 0-DARK-THIRTY, AFTER TWELVE HOURS OF REST.
HE MADE HIS FLIGHT PLAN, SIGNED THE LOG, AND DONNED HIS SURVIVAL
VEST.

HE WALKED ON OUT AND STARTED 'B* UP, AND VOWED HE'D DC HIS BEST.
AND IN PEACE MAY HE FOREVER REST.

HE VIOLATED AN AIRWAY WHILE DODGING CLOUDS IN WEATHER MOST SEVERE,
AND COX WAIN'S CONSTANT SHOUTING ONLY TENDED TO HEIGHTEN HIS FEAR,
AND WHEN THE TONE CUT OFF, THE GIB SAID, "WASN'T EVEN NEAR."
SO HE TERMINATED HIS CAREER.

there was blccd upon his risers, there was gore upon his boots.
his brains aere all a'splattered 0 ER his mast in-baker chute.
but they judged his wreck sccra3le, cn£ thousand feet at t.fc,
and they passed the cri.

UNCLE JOHN AND AUNTIE MABEL
(Hark, The Herald Angels Sing)

UNCLE JOHN AND AUNTIE MABEL FAINTED AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE,
THIS SHOULD B2 SUFFICIENT WARNING, NEVER DC IT IN THE MORNING.

OYALTINS HAS SET THEM RIGHT, NOW THEY dc it EVERY TJIGHT,

uncle JCK:< tz kcfi^G sock to dc it in the AFTERNCCN.

SIXTEEN TIMES
(Sixteen Tons)

SOKE PEOPLE SAY A MAN IS MADE OUT CF FEAR,

BUT A FIGHTER PILOT'S MACS CUT CP WHISKEY AI.X BEER.

WHISKEY AND BEER. it'JM AND GIN,

I? YOU FLY THE DOT, YOU'RE SURE TC SPIN IN.

CHORUS« YOU FLY SIXTEEN TIMES AND /JHAT DC YCl- GET?

ANOTHER DAY OLDER AND YOUR rfEAPOI. IS BENT.
ST. PETER, DON'T YOU CALL ME, I'M a'EAK AND LAME,
I LOST MY ASS IN A POKER GAME.

I AWOKE ONE MORNING WHEN THE SUN DIDN'T SHINE,
GOT MY 'CHUTE AND WENT DOWN TO THE LINE,
DOWN TO THE LINE TO FLY THE F-4D,
BUT IT *AS RAINING SO HARD THAT I COULDN'T SEE.

THEY BLEW THE WHISTLE WHEN I WAS STILL IN THE RACK,

I THOUGHT, "MY GOD, WE ARE UNDER ATTACK."

RAN TO MY BIRD BUT IT WAS ALL IN VAIN,

MAS JUST ANOTHER SILLY FUCKING COMMAND POST GAME.

TOOK OFF ONE MORNING WITH BLOOD IN MY EYE,
I'D HAD MY FILL OF KIMCHI AND RYE,
PICKLED ON A BOMB PASS AND THE GUN FELL FREE.
THEY'RE GOING TO HANG MY ASS FROM THE NEAREST TREE.

WHEN YOU SEE ME COMING BETTER BREAK TO THE RIGHT,
CAUSE THE JUVATS AND THE PANTHERS HAD A PARTY LAST NIGHT.
MY EYEBALLS ARE RED AND I'M AS MEAN AS A BEAR,
BELIEVE KE, BUSTER, BETTER CLEAR THE AIR.

op, rip m away

OH, RIP THE FEATHERS AWAY, A JAY,
OH, RIP THE FEATHERS AWAY.
OH, THE ASS OF A DUCK
MAKES A WONDERFUL FUCK,
IF YOU RIP THE FEATHERS AWAY.

SfMMY SMALL

OH. MY NAME IS SAMMY SMALL, PUCK 'EM ALL.

OH, NY NAME IS SAMMY SMALL, FUCK *SBC ALL.

OH, MY KANE 13 SAMMY SMALL, AND I QfttY HAVE ONE BALL.

BUT IT'S BETTER THAI* "ONE AT ALL, SC FUCK *at ALL.

OH, THEY SAY I SHOT A KAN, PUCK 'EM ALL,

OH, THEY SAY I SHOT A NAIi, FUCK 'EM ALL,

THEY SAY I SHOT HIM DEAD WITH A PIECE CP FUCKING LEAD.

NOW THAT SILLY FUCKER'S DEAD, SC PUCK 'Bi ALL.

OH. THEY SAY I'M GOING TO SWING, FUCK 'EM ALL,

OH, THEY SAY I'M GOING TC SWING, FUCK 'EM ALL,

OH, THEY SAY I'M GOING TO SWING PROM A PIECE OF FUCKING STRING.

WHAT A SILLY FUCKING THING, SO FUCK 'EM ALL.

OH, THE PARSON HE WILL CONS, SC FUCK 'EN ALL.

OH, THE PARSON HE WILL CONE, SO FUCK *EK ALL.

OH, THE PARSON HE WILL COME WITH HIS TALES OF KINGDOM CONS.

HE CAN SHOVE 'EM UP HIS BUM. SC FUCK 'EN ALL.

OH, THE HANGNAN WORE A MASK, FUCK 'EN ALL,

OH, THE HANGMAN WORE A MASK, FUCK 'EN ALL,

OH, THE HANGNAN WORE A MASK FOR HIS SILLY FUCKING TASK.

WHAT A SILLY FUCKING ASS, SO FUCK 'EM ALL.

OH, THE SHERIFF WILL BE THERE TOO. FUCK 'EM ALL,

OH, THE SHERIFF WILL BE THERE TOO, FUCK *EN ALL,

OH, THE SHERIFF WILL BE THERE TOO WITH HIS SILLY FUCKING CREW.

THEY'VE GOT FUCK ALL ELSE TO DO, SO FUCK 'EM ALL.

I SAW MOLLY IN THE CROWD, FUCK 'EN ALL,
I SAW MOLLY IN THE CROWD, FUCK 'EN ALL,
I SAW MOLLY IN THE CROWD, AND I FELT SO FUCKING PROUD,
THAT I SHOUTED RIGHT OUT LOUD*

FUCK 'EN ALL.

PACAF IG'S COKING (Bad Moon A'Riaing)

I SEE THE FACAF IG COMING,
I SEE TROUBLE ON THE WAY,
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE IN FOR NASTY WEATHER,
INCOMPETENCE WILL REIGN TODAY.

WATCH OUT FOR YOUR FLIGHT,
JUST TRY TO DO IT RIGHT,
PACAF MUST BE SATISFIED.

I HEAR THE SIREN START TO BLOWING,
I HEAR THEM POUNDING ON MY DOOR.
I HEAR THEM SAY THE SKY IS FALLING,
PACAF IS HERE TC SWEEP THE FLOOR.

WATCH OUT FOR YOUR FLIGHT,
JUST TRY TO DO IT RIGHT,
PACAF MUST BE SATISFIED.

HOPE YOU GOT YOUR STUFF TOGETHER,
HOPE YOU ARE QUITE PREPARED TO FLY,
YOUR CAP COULD STAND ANOTHER FEATHER,
SCREW UP AND KISS IT ALL GOODBYE.

WATCH OUT FOR YOUR FLIGHT,
JUST TRY TC DO IT RIGHT,
PACAF MUST BE SATISFIED.

ike Awmzm

(Skip To The Lu, My darling)

THIS 13 CUR SONG TC THE T-38'S,
WHO ' VE NEVER FIRED A SHOT IN A MOMENT C? HATE.
THEY TRAVEL ARCVNL VISITING ALL THE PACAF CREWS,
HUSTLING THEIR WOMEN and DRINKING THEIR BGCZE.

CHORUS» DOWN, DCWN, SPIRALING DOWN (Repeat 3 tines)
ANOTHER SMALL TRAINER WENT DCWN IN FLAMES.

THEY FEED US GREAT iTCRIES OF TRACKING CUR SIX,
WE KNOW IT'S JUST SOME C? THEIR DIRTY CLE TRICKS.
NOW THINK CF IT, GENTS, DON'T YOU THINK YCU'D LIE,
IN ORDER TO JUSTIFY ALL THAT FREE TDY.

NOW AIR TO AIR'S SHIT-HOT , TO THAT WE'LL AGREE,
BUT WE THINK A TRUE FIGHTER IS SOMETHING TO BE
SENT BOMBING AND STRAFING WITH AN OPTICAL SIGHT,
AND NOT JUST SOME WAG THAT YOU DREAMED UP LAST NIGHT.

THEY ARE TWO SEAT TRAINERS, BUT THEY'RE NOT ALL ALONE,
THEY NEED RADAR VECTORS TO FIND THEIR WAY HOME.
THEY TALK ABOUT TRACKING, BUT THAT'S HARD TO DO,
WHEN YOU'RE DODGING THE JET WASH THAT BIG UGLY SPEWS.

m nsm vm sm

(TUNS I A P«w of My Pavoritt Things)

READING OUR PORNO, PICKING OUR ASSES,
CHECKING THE FORMS OUT AND PASSING CUR GASES.
SILVER SLEEK B-6l STRAPPED BELOW, NUCLEAR WAR,
AND WE'RE READY TO GO.

OOMPH PA PA ... OOMPH PA PA ...

DEPARTING THE ORBIT, OUR PITS START TO SWEAT.
WE'LL ASSHOLE THOSE HUSKIES AND THAT'S A SURE BET.
KILLING THOSE FUCKERS AND COVERING THEM WITH DIRT,
THAT'S WHY WE LIKE SITTING VICTOR ALERT.

OOMPH PA PA ... OOMPH PA PA ...

FAGOTS AND FRESCOS, AND FISHBEDS AND FARMERS,
GO AS AND GAINFULS, AND BIG GODDAMN BOMBERS,
TUBBRICK AND CHEESEBRICK AND QUAD 23.
JUST THINKING OF IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

OOMPH PA PA ... OOMPH PA PA ...

WHEN THE COLONELS PING,
WHEN MY PHANTOM'S BROKE,
WHEN I'M FEELING SADt

I THINK OF THAT GLORIOUS WHITE MUSHROOM CLOUD,
AND THEN I DON'T FEEL SO BAD.

nam is m wmM hift ma

(biy Bonnie Lies Over the ocean)

IK PEACETIME THE REGULARS are HAPPY,
IK PEAC£ir'.£ THEY'RE HAPPY tc SERVE.
BUT LET TK2L GET IliTC A FRACAS,
and THEY'LL CALL CUT THE gcddakn RESERVES!

chcrusi CALL CUT. CALL out,

CALL OUT THE GC3DAKK RESERVES. RESERVES,

CALL OUT. CALL OUT,

CH, CALL CUT THE GODDAMN RESERVES.

HERE'S TO THE REGULAR AIR FORCE,
THEY HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL PLAN.
THEY CALL UP THE GODDAMN RESERVIST,
WHENEVER THE SHIT HITS THE FAN!

THEY CALL UP EVERY OLD PILOT,
THEY CALL UP EVERY YOUNG MAN.
THE RESERVISTS THEY GO TO VIET NAM,
THE REGULARS STAY IN JAPAN!

THEY CALLED UP A DOZEN MORE SQUADRONS,
STAFFED BY A REGULAR CLASS.
BUT WHEN IT CAME TIME FOR PROMOTION,
THE RESERVISTS GOT SCREWED IN THE ASS!

HERE'S TO THE REGULAR AIR FORCE,
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES GALORE.
IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE GODDAMN RESERVIST,
THEIR ASS WOULD BE DRAGGING THE FLOOR!

CHORUSi FIGHT ON, FIGHT ON,

FIGHT ON, REGULAR AIR FORCE, FIGKT ON, FIGHT ON,

FIGHT ON, FIGHT ON,

FIGHT ON, REGULAR AIR FORCE, FIGHT OR!

BlrfiSg m

bless 'em all, bless 'ek all,

the long and the short and the tall,

bless all the instructors,

mo taught me to fly,

sent me up solo and left me to die.

so if ever your blow jet should stall,

you're in for one hell of a fall.

no lillys or violets for dead fighter pilots,

so cheer up my lads, bless 'en all.

bless *em all, bless 'em all,
the long and the short and the tall,
bless all the sergeants,
the fat headed ones,

bless all the airmen with their dopey sons,

cause we're saying good-bye to them all,

the long and the short and the tall.

there'll be no promotions this side of the ocean,

so while we are here, bless 'em all.

roll me over

now this is number one and the song has just begun.

chorusi roll me over, lay me down, and do it again.
roll me over in the clover,
roll me over, lay me down, and do it again.

no a this is number two, and he's got me in a stew.
mow this is number three, and his hand is on my knee.
now this is number four, and he's got me on the floor.
now this is number five, and his hand is on my thigh.
now this is number six, and he's got me in a fix.
now this is number seven, and i think i am in heaven.
now this is number eight, and the doctor's at the gate.
now this is number nine, and the twins are doing fine.
now this is number ten, and he's started once again.

v&vs ^ 4 mn

parties make the world gc around,
wcrid gc rcur.l, world gc rcund,
parties make the world gc arc'JND,
3C let'S have A rARTYJ

WE'RE going TC tear LCWN the bar in cur CLUB. BCC

we' re gonka build a new bar j ray

it's only gonna be a fcct wide. boo

but it'll be a mile long! ray

there'll be no bartenders in our bar. BCC

WE'RE gonka have barmaids! ray

CUR barmaids will wear long dresses. boo

made of cellophane! ray

YOU can't take our barmaids home. boo

they'll take you home! ray

you can't sleep with our barmaids. bcc

they won't let you sleep! ray

beer's gonna BE 500 a glass. boo

whiskey's free! ray

only one to a customer. boo

served in buckets! ray

we're gonna throw all the beer in the river. boo

then we'll all gc swimming! ray

no couches or chairs in our club. boo

just wall to wall mattresses! ray

no girls allowed above the first floor. boo

with their clothes on! ray

there'll be no loving on the dancing floor. boo

and no dancing on the loving floor! ray

parties make the world go around,
world go round, world go round,
parties make the world go RCUND,
so let's have a party!

MWtj JQm W<iM®

ch, i don't want to join the air force,
i don't .lant to gc to war.

i just want to sit around pic ad illy underground,
livin^§ of? the earnings cf ky high class lady.

MONDAY, i touched her on THE ankle.
tuesday, i touched her on the knee.
.vednesday, success, i lifted up her dress*
thursday, her chemise i did see.
friday, i put my hand upon it.
saturday, she GAVE ME balls a tweak.

but it was sunday after supper, i rammed the old boy up her.
and now she gives me seven and six a week, gqr blimey.

ch, 1 don't want to join the air force,
i dcn't want ME buttocks shot away,

i just want to stay in england, in jolly. jolly, england,
and fornicate MY bloomin' life away.

there was a little bird

there was a little bird,
no bigger than a turd,
sitting on a telegraph pole.
oh, HE ruffled up his neck,
and he shit about a peck.
then he puckered up
his little ass hole.

ass hole, ass hole,

ass hole, ass ho-le.
oh, he puckered up

his little ass hole.

GIVE KB OPERATIONS

don't GIVE me A p-38, the props they COUNTER-rotate.
they're SCATTERED AND SMITTEN from burma TO BRITAIN,
DC!.**: GIVE KE A P-38.

chorus* just GIVE KZ operations,

WAY CUT ON some 3X?nSLY atoll,
FOR i ak TOO YOUNG TO die,
i just want to grow old.

DCi» 't give me A P-39. the engine is mounted behind,
THEY'LL TUMBLE and SPIN AND AUGER YCU IN.
don'i GIVE ME A f-39-

don't give me a peter-four-oh, a hell of an airplane i know,
a ground loopin' bastard, you're sure to get plastered,
don't give me a peter-four-oh.

don't give me an f-64, she's just A ground loving whore,
she'll whine and she'll wheeze and make straight for the trees
don't give me an f-84.

don't give mb an '86d, with rockets, radar and ab,
she's fast i don't care, she blows up in mid-air,
don't give me an '86d.

don't give me a one-double-oh, the bastard is ready to blow,
the ab is there, but you're saying A prayer,
don't give me a one-double-oh.

don't give me an f-101, a rat-race in her is no fun,
when you're trying to win, she'll start to dig in,
don't give me an f-101.

don't give me an f-102, it never goes up when it's blue,
an all weather coffin, that flames out so often,
don't give me an f-102.

don't give MS an f-104, with compressor stalls galore,
the wing is so small, you can't turn at all,
don't give me an f-104.

don't give me an f-105, in that big hog guys don't stay alive,
and you know you've been diddled when she breaks in the middle
don't give i.ie an f-105.

THROW A NICKLE ON THE GRASS

CHORUS< OH HALLEUJAH, HALLEUJAH, THRO;.' A NICKLE 0N THE GRASS,
SAVE A FIGHTER PILOT'S ASS.

OH HALLEUJAH, HALLEUJAH, THRO* A NICKLE CV THE GRASS.
AND YOU'LL BE SAVED.

I WAS CRUISING DOWN THE VALLEY, DOING SIX AND TWENTY PER,
WHEN A CALL CAME FROM A MAJOR, "CH, WON'.T YOU SAVE ME. SIR?
I'VE GOT THREE BIG FLAK HOLES IN MY WINGS, AND MY TANKS

AIN'T GOT NO GAS.
MAYDAY. MAYDAY, MAYDAY, I'VE GOT SIX MIGS ON MY ASS.*

I SHOT THE TRAFFIC FATTERN, AKE- TO MS IT LOOKED ALL RIGHT.
THE AIRSPEED READ ONE-FIFTY, I REALLY RACKED IT TIGHT.
THEN THE AIRFRAME GAVE A SHUDDER, THE ENGINES GAVE A WHEEZE.
MAYDAY. MAYDAY, MAYDAY, SPIN INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE.

SHOT MY CROSSWIND PATTERN, THE LEFT WING HIT THE GRCUI'D.
THERE CAME A CALL FROM MOBILE, "PULL UP AND GO AROUND."
I iiACKED THAT PHANTOM IN THE AIR A DOZEN FEET OR MORE.
ONE ENGINE QUIT, I ALMOST SHIT, THE GEAR CAME THRU THE FLOOR.

IT WAS SPLIT S ON MY BOMB RUN, AND I GOT TOO GODDAMN LOW,
BUT I PRESSED THE BLOODY BUTTON, AND I LET THOSE BABIES GO.
SUCKED THE STICK BACK FAST AS BLAZES, AND I HIT A HIGH SPEED
STALL.

NOW I WON'T SEE MY MOTHER WHEN THE WORK'S ALL DONE NEXT FALL.

THEY SENT ME UP TO HANOI, THE BRIEF SAID, "NO ACK ACK."

BY THE TIME I ARRIVED THERE MY WINGS WESED HOLED BY FLAK.

THEN MY ENGINES COUGHED AND SPUTTERED, THEY WERE TOO CUT UP TO FLY.

MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY, I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE.

I PUNCHED OUT OF THAT PHANTOM, MY LANDING CAME OUT FINE.
WITH MY E&E EQUIPMENT, I HEADED FOR CUR FRONT LINE,
WHEN I OPENED UP MY SEAT KIT TO SEE WHAT WAS IN IT,
THAT GODDAMN QUARTERMASTER HAD FILLED THE THING WITH SHIT.

NO A IN THIS COMMIE PRISON CAMP, I AM OBLIDGED TO SIT,

FOR ONE CANNOT GO VERY FAR ON A SEAT KIT FULL OF SHIT.

IF I AM EVER FREE AGAIN, I WILL NO LONGER FLY,

BUT I'LL HAVE THE QUARTERMASTER'S ASS FOR BREAKFAST TILL I DIE.

I WANTED WINGS TILL I GOT THE GCDDAMNEB THINGS.
NOW I DC N'T WANT THEM ANY MORE,

THEY TAUGHT ME HC TC FLY, THEN SENT ME OFF 7C DIE.
WELL, I'VE HAL A B2LLY FULL CF \A?s

YCU CAN :A7£ THOSE 3LCCLY 25RCES FOR THE OTHER GODDAMN HEROES,
DISTINGUISHED FLYING CROSSES DC NOT COMPENSATE FOR LOSSES, BUSTER.

CHORUSi I WANTED WINGS TILL I GOT THE GODDAMNED THINGS,
NOW I DON'T WANT THEM ANY MORE.

YES, I'LL TAKE THE DAMES, LET THE REST GO DOWN IN FLAMES,
I HAVE NO DESIRE TC BE BURNED;

AIR COMBAT SPELLED ROMANCE TILL THEY SHOT HOLES IN MY PANTS,
I'M NOT A FIGHTER I HAVE LEARNEDs

YOU CAN SAVE THE MITSUBISHIS FOR THE OTHER SONS CF BITGHS,
I'D RATHER MAKE A WOMAN THAN BE SHOT DOWN IN A GRUMMAN, BUSTER.

NOW I'M TOC YOUNG TO DIE IN A LOUSY PBY,
THAT'S FOR THE EAGER, NOT FOR ME,
I DON'T TRUST IN MY LUCK TO BE PICKED UP BY A DUCK.
AFTER I'VE CRASHED INTO THE SEAf

YES. I'D RATHER BE A TARRIER THAN A FLIER ON A CARRIER,
WITH MY HAND AROUND A BOTTLE. YOU CAN KEEP YOUR GODDAMNED
THROTTLE. BUSTER.

I DO NOT CARE TO TOUR OVER BERLIN AND THE RUHR,

FLAK ALWAYS MAKES ME LOSE MY LUNCH.

I GET AN URGE TO PRAY WHEN THEY HOLLER. "BOMBS AWAY."

I'D RATHER BE AT HOME WITH THE BUNCH)

FOR THERE'S ONE THING YOU CAN'T LAUGH OFF,

WHEN THEY SHOOT YOUR TAILPIPE HALF OFF,

I'D RATHER BE HOME, BUSTER, WITH MY TAIL THAN WITH A CLUSTER,
BUSTER.

THEY FEED US LOUSY CHOW, BUT WE STAY ALIVE SOMEHOW,
ON DEHYDRATED EGGS AND MIUL AND STEW,
THE RUMOR HAS IT NEXT THEY'LL BE DEHYDRATING SEX.
AND THAT'S THE DAY I'LL TELL THE COACH I'M THROUGH.
FOR I'VE MANAGED ALL THE DANGERS, THE SHOOTING BACK
BUT WHEN I GET HOME LATE, I WANT MY WOMAN STRAIGHT,

OF STRANGERS,
BUSTER.

BOOZIN' BUDDIES

A YOUNG FIGHTER PILOT LAY DYING, THE MEDICS SAID HE WAS DEAD.
ALL AROUND HIM WOKEN WERE CRYING, AND THESE ARE THE WORDS
HE SAIDi

TAKE THE TAILPIPE OUT OF MY BACKBONE,
TAKE THE GUNSIGHT CUT OF MY BRAIN,
TAKE THE FUEL PIPE CUT OF MY KIDNEYS.
ASSEMBLE THE UNIT AGAIN---FOR,

WE ARE THE BOYS WHO FLY HIGH IN THE SKY,
BOOSIN * BUDDIES WHILE BOOZIN* (Drink).
WE ARE THE BOYS THAT THEY SEND OUT TC DIE,
BOOZIN* BUDDIES WHILE BCOZIN* (Drink),

UP IN HEADQUARTERS THEY LAUGH AND THEY SHOUT,
TALKING ABOUT THINGS THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!

BUT WE ARE THE BOYS THAT THEY SEND OUT TO DIE,
BOOZIN* BUDDIES WHILE BOOZIN* (Drink),
(Lower) BOOZIN* BUDDIES WHILE BOOZIN* (Drink),
(Very Low) BOOZIN* BUDDIES THILE BOOZIN¹ (Chug-a-lug).

MY WILD IRISH ROSE

MY WILD IRISH ROSE, THE SWEETEST FLOWER THAT GROWS.
YOU KAY SEARCH EVERYWHERE, BUT NONE CAN COMPARE,
»«ITK MY ,;ILD IRISH ROSE, THE SWEETEST FLCWER THAT GROWS.
AND SOME DAY FOR MY SAKE, SHE MAY LET ME TAKE
THE BLOOM FROM MY WILD IRISH ROSE.

ITAZUKE ?Q«ER
' abash Cannor.ball)

"ITAZUKE TOWER, THIS IS AIR FORCE 801.

I'M TURNING CN THE DOWNWIND LEG, MY FRCP HAS OVERRUNi

KY COOLANT*S OVERHEATED, THE GAUGE SAY1 1-2-1,

YOU'D BETTER GET THE CRASH CRE.v OUT AND GET TK8K CN THE RUN."

"listen, air force soi, this IS itazuke toa'er,
i cannot call the crash crew OUT, this is their coffee hcurj
you're not cleared in the pattern, now that is plain to see,
so take it once around again, you're not a vif."

"ITAZUKE TOWER, THIS IS AIR FORCE $01,

i'm turning on my final. i'm running ok one lung,

i'm gonna land this mustang no matter what you say,

i'm gonna get my charts squared up before that judgment day."

"now listen, air force 001, this is itazuke tower,
we'D like to let you in right now, but me haven't got the power,
we'll send a note through channels and wait for the reply,
until we get permission back, just chase around the sky."

"itazuke tower. this is air force 801,
i'm up in pilot's heaven and my flying days are done*
i'm sorry that i blew up, i couldn't make the grade,
i guess i should have waited tux the lauding was okayed*"

WOULD YOU LIKE tq SIT OK MY FACE

would you like to sit on my face,
spread your ass all over the place,
stick my nose in A fragrant space,
or would you rather suck my bog!

OH, THERE ARE HO FIGHTER PILOTS DOWN IN HELL,
OH, THERE ARE NO FIGHTER PILOTS DOWN IN HELL,
THE PLACE IS FULL OF QUEERS, NAVIGATORS, BOMBARDIERS,
OH, THERE ARE NO FIGHTER PILOTS DOWN IN HELL.

OH, THERE ARE NO FIGHTER PILOTS IN THE STATES,

THEY ARE OFF ON FOREIGN SHORES, MAKING MOTHERS OUT OF WHORES,

OH, THERE ARE NO FIGHTER PILOTS IN THE STATES.

OH, THERE ARE NO FIGHTER PILOTS IN JAPAN,

THEY ARE ALL ACROSS THE BAY, GETTING SHOT AT EVERY DAY,

OH, THERE ARE NO FIGHTER PILOTS IN JAPAN.

OH, THERE ARE NO BOMBER PILOTS IN THE FRAY,
OH, THERE ARE NO BOMBER PILOTS IN THE FRAY,
THEY'RE ALL IN USO'S, WEARING RIBBONS, FANCY CLOTHES,
OH, THERE ARE NO BOMBER PILOTS IN THE FRAY.

OH, THE BOMBER PILOT'S LIFE IS JUST A FARCE,
OH, THE BOMBER PILOT'S LIFE IS JUST A FARCE,
THE AUTO PILOT'S ON, HE'S READING COMICS IN THE JOHN,
OH, THE BOMBER PILOT'S LIFE IS JUST A FARCE.

OH, THE BOMBER PILOT NEVER TAKES A DARE,
OH, THE BOMBER PILOT NEVER TAKES A DARE,
HIS GYROS ARE UNCAGED, AND HIS WOMEN OVERAGED,
OH, THE BOMBER PILOT NEVER TAKES A DARE.

OH, THERE ARE NO FIGHTER PILOTS UP IN WING,
OH, THERE ARE NO FIGHTER PILOTS UP IN WING,
THE PLACE IS FULL OF BRASS, SITTING ON THEIR FAT ASS,
OH, THERE ARE NO FIGHTER PILOTS UP IN WING.

OH, IT'S NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY, BUT IT'S NICE,
OH, IT'S NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY, BUT IT'S NICE,
IT'LL WRECK YOUR REPUTATION, BUT INCREASE THE POPULATION,
OH, IT'S NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY, BUT IT'S NICE.

AiS I«S hlfi fCftvg

COME OK AND JOIN THE AIR FORCE* WE'RE A HAPPY BAND THEY SAY.

.VE NEVER DC A LICK OF WCRK.JUST FLY AROUND ALL DAY,

.iKILE OTHERS WORK AND STUDY HARD AND SCON GRCW OLD AND BLIND,

YOU'LL TAKE 10 THE AIR WITHOUT A CARE AND YCU V.ILL NEVER MIND.

CHORUS• YOU'LL NEVER MIND. YOU'LL NEVER MIND.
OH, COME AND JCIN THE AIR FORCE,
AND YOU ViiILL NEVER MINDS

PROMOTIONS COME UPON YOU JUST AS HIGH AS YOU DESIRE,

YOU'RE RIDING ON THE GRAVY TRAIN WHEN YOU'RE AN AIR FORCE FLYER.

BUT JUST WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TC BE A GENERAL, YOU'LL FIND

THE ENGINES COUGH, THE WINGS FALL OFF, AND YOU WILL NEVER MIND.

ONE DAY YOU'LL LOOP AND SPIN HER AND WITH AN AWFUL TEAR,

YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF WITHOUT YOUR WINGS BUT YOU WILL NEVER CARE,

FOR IN ABOUT TWO MINUTES MORE ANOTHER PAIR YOU'LL FIND.

YOU'LL FLY WITH PETE AND HIS ANGELS SWEET AND YOU WILL NEVER MIND.

YOU'RE FLYING ACROSS THE OCEAN WHEN YOU HEAR YOUR ENGINE SPIT.
YOU SEE THE PROP COME TO A STOP, THE GODDAMN ENGINE'S QUIT.
THE SHIP WON'T FLOAT, YOU CANNOT SWIM, THE SHORE IS MILES BEHIND.
YOU'LL BE A DISH FOR HAPPY FISH, BUT YOU WILL NEVER MIND.

I'M FLYING IN MY F86 ALONG THE YALU SHORE.

I'M LOYAL TO THE AIR FORCE, BUT I'M ROTTEN TO THE CORE.

I'VE ONLY GOT ONE ENGINE, JACK, AND IP THAT BASTARD QUITS,

IT WILL BE UP THERE ALL BY ITSELF, CAUSE I'M THE KIND THAT GITS.

MAYBE YOU'LL RIDE THE GRAVY TRAIN IN ADMINISTRATIVE WORK,
LET OTHER GUYS LIGHT UP THE SKIES, WHY SHOULD YOU BE A JERK.
YOU'LL MEET THAT HIGHER OFFICER TO WHOM YOU'VE BEEN ASSIGNED,
WITH YOUR NOSE IN PLACE, AND I DON'T MEAN ON YOUR FACE, YOU
WILL NEVER MIND.

GKCKUSt AYS, AYE, AYE, AYE,

FIGHTER PILOTS EAT PUSSY*
SC LET'S HAVE ANOTHER VERSE
THAT'S WORSE THAI: THE OTHER '/ERSE,
AND WALTZ ME AROUND BY IC£ WILLIE.

♦Subject to change
; at frequent intervals

THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN FROM BOSTON,

WHO TRADED HIS CAR FOR AN AUSTIN,

THERE WAS ROOM FOR HIS ASS AND A GALLON OF GAS,

BUT HIS BALLS HUNG OUT AND HE LOST 'EM.

THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN FROM DUNDEE,
vHC BUGGERED AN APE IN A TREE,

THE RESULT WAS MOST HORRID, ALL ASS AND NO FOREHEAD,
THREE BALLS AND A PURPLE GCATEE.

THERE WAS A YOUNG MAI* FROM KILDAIR,
WHO BUGGERED HIS GIRL ON THE STAIR,
THE BANNISTER BROKE, HE DOUBLED HIS STROKE,
AND FINISHED HER OFF IN MID-AIR.

THERE WAS A YOUNG QUEER FROM KHARTOOM,
WHO TOOK A YOUNG LESBIAN TO HIS ROOM,
THEY ARGUED ALL NIGHT, AS TO WMG HAD THE RIGHT,
TO DO WHAT, WITH WHICH, AND TO WHOM.

THERE WAS A PROFESSOR FROM THE MALL,
WHO POSSESSED A CYLINDRICAL BALL,

THE CUBE ROCT OF ITS WEIGHT, PLUS HIS PENIS, FLUS SIGHT,
WAS ONE HALF CF TWO THIRDS OF FUCK ALL.

THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL FROM ST. PAUL,
WHO WORE A NEWSPAPER DRESS TO A BALL,
HER DRESS CAUGHT ON FIRE, AND BURNED HER ENTIRE
FRONT PAGE, SPORTS SECTION AND ALL.

THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY FROM WHEELING, *
WHO HAD A PECULIAR FEELING,
SHE LAID ON HER BACK, AND TICKLED HER CRACK,
AND PISSED ALL OVER THE CEILING.

FIGHTER rILGIS EAT FUZEY Continue-

THERE A YOUNG ::AN ?RCli NANTUCKET•
/."HOSE LICK AS 3C LONG H3 COULD 3'JCi. IT,
HE ZMZ 4/TTv\ A , HE WlIEd 6F? HIS CHI!" •
"Ir WY EA* \|£RE ft C^ I ViJOULE WCK Et."

THERE. WAE A YO ;NG MAN FROft KEi>*T,
WHOSE LICK ,;AS 3C LCNG THAT IT BSM,
TO SAVE KIKSELr TROUBLE, HE PUT IT I?- DOUBLE,
AND I INSTEAD OF COKING, HE iENT .

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN OF CLASS,
WHOSE 3ALL3 WERE l.'.ADE C: BRASS,

i/HEI. THEY SWUNG TOGETHER, THEY -LAYED "STCRKY WEATHER*,
AND LIGHTNING SHOT CUT CF HIS ASS.

THERE ONCE A AS A GIRL FROM PRANCE.

WHO BOARDED A TRAIN BY CHANCE,

THE ENGINEER FUCKEL HER, AND SCO THE CONDUCTOR,

AI'D THE BRAKEfclAN ;ENT OFF IIJ HIS r ANTS.

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM BOMBAY,

WHO FASHIONED A CUNT OUT OF CLAY,

THE HEAT OF HIS PRICK TURNED THE CLAY INTO BRICK.

AND RUBBED ALL HIS FORESKIN AWAY.

THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL NAMED GAIL,
BETWEEN HER TITS WAS THE PRICE OF HER TAIL,
AND ON HER BEHIND, FOR THE SAKE CF THE BLIND,
WAS THE SAME INFORMATION IN BRAILLE.

THERE -;AS A YOUNG I'JCl FROI-! BRCCK,

WHO TIED A VIOLIN STRING TO HIS COCK,

WITH JUST ONE ERECTION, HE COULD FLAY A SELECT I OK

FROM JOHANK SEBASTIAN BACH.

THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN FROM SPARTA,
WHO WAS THE iCRLD'S CHAMPION FARTER,

ON THE STRENGTH OP ONE BEAN, HE FLAYED "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN",
AND BEETHOVEN'S "MOONLIGHT SONATA."

THERE ONCE ..AS A i-IAN FROM RANGOON,
..•HO .IAS BORN BY THE LIGHT C? THE MOCK.
HE HAD NCI THE LUC/., TO BE BCRI, CF A FUCK,
BUT .:AZ A ..El DREAf: SCOOPED UP IN A iPCGN.

?IQHffa mz^m^m Continued

there once /.as a bcy from baclaridge,
and he was his parents• disparage,

HE sucked 0?? his BSC the?., V.'ent down Cfc HIS MOTHER,

and ate up his sister's miscarriage,

there once .;AS A maN from trieste,
ako loved his wipe ;«ith zest,

desi-ite all her hc^ls, he sucked cut her' bo wels.
and deposited the mess of her breast.

in the garden cf eden sat adam,
v.ith his hand on the butt CF his madam,
he chuckled with mirth, for he knew on this earth,
there were only two balls at® he had 'em.

there AAS an old hermit named dave,
«hc kept a dead whore in his cave,
he said, "i'll admit, i'm a bit cf a shit,
but think CF the money i save."

there once .IAS A girl named alice,
WHO USED A dynamite stick for a phallus,
THEY found her vagina in south carolina,
AND her tits JUST THIS SIDE of dallas.

AN ARGENT113 GAUCHO naked BRUNO,
SAID, "FUCKING IS one thing i do know,
ALL «cmsn ARE FINE, AND sheep are divine,
but llamas are numero uno."

THERE ONCE JAS A KAN FROM CHALLOT,
ViHC DINED ON VOMIT and SNOT,

he SAID, "it's a breeze",as he ats the green cheese,
that hung from HIS grandmother's twat.

there was a young man from new brighton,
who said, "my dear, you've a tight one."
said she, "upon my soul, you have the wrong hole,
it's the one up in front that's the right one."

there was a han from st. jai1es,

•vhc played most unusual games,

he lit a match to his grandmother's snatch,

AND LAUGHED AS SHE PISSED THROUGH THE FLAKES.

■•IGK^R PILOTS £AT PUSSY Cor.tir.ued

THERE ONCE ,AS a ..AN NAMED McGRUDER.
<HC ..COED A :iUDE I." BERMUDA,

HO* THE :r;DE THOUGHT IT CRUDE, TO BE HKVOED Eft THE NUDE,
BUT McGRUDER ..A3 CRUDER, HE SCR3K2D HEP..

THERE /AS A YOUNG KAV) FROM KEITH,
:/HC SKINNED 3AC?' P&T&CS .»'ITH HIS TEETH,
IT WASN'T FOP. PLEASURE. HE ADOPTED THIS MEASURE,
BUT FOR THE CHEESE HE FOUND UNDERNEATH.

THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL FROM THE AZORES.

;iHGSE CUNT J AS ALL COVERED ..'ITH SORES,

THE DCGS II." THE STREET WOULD NOT SAT THE GREEN MEAT,

THAT HUNG IN FESTOONS FROM HER DRAPERS.

THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL NAMED MYRTLE,
WHO WAS RAPED CN THE BEACH BY A TURTLE,
THE RESULTS OF THE FUCK WERE TWO EGGS AND A DUCK,
WHICH PROVED THAT THE TURTLE WAS FERTILE.

THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY FROM TWILLING,

WHO WENT TC THE DENTIST FOR A DRILLING,

BUT BECAUSE OF DEPRAVITY, HE FILLED THE WRONG CAVITY,

AND NOW SHE'S NURSING HER FILLING.

THERE ONCE WAS A PIRATE NAMED BATES,
WHO FANDANGLED ON ROLLER SKATES,

TILL HE FELL ON HIS CUTLASS, WHICH RENDERED HIM NUTLESS,

AND NOW HE IS USELESS ON DATES.

THERE ONCE WAS A HAN FROM SAVANNAH,
WITH A HOST PECULIAR MANNER,
HE BORED A HOLS IN A TELEPHONE POLE,
AND ELECTROCUTED HIS BANANA.

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM PERU,

WHO FELL ASLEEP WHILE IN HIS CANOE.

HE DREAMED ABOUT VENUS AND PLAYED WITH HIS PENIS,

AND AWOKE a'ITH A HAND FULL CF GOO.

THERE ONCE WAS A KAN FROM MCLINE,
•'JHO INVENTED A JACK-OFF MACHINE,

ON THE NINETY-NINTH STROKE, THE GODDAMN THING BROKE,
AND RIPPED HIS BaLLS OFF BEFORE HE COULD SCPEAK.

FIGHTER PILOTS SAT FUSSY Continued

THERE GKCE WAS. A FARMER NAMED FRITZ,
WHO PLANTED AN ACRE OF TITS,

THEY CAL£E UP 111 THE fall, pink nipples ATfL all,
AID HE LITERALLY CHEWED THE!* TC BITS.

THERE ONCE WAS A I.CAN FROM ALGIERS,
WHO SCREWED HIS WIFE UNDER THE PIERS,
A FISH CAKE ALONG AND BIT OFF HIS DONG,
30 HE ORDERED A NEW ONE FROM SEARS.

THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL FROM NORWAY,
WHO HUNG BY HER KEELS IN THE DOORWAY,
SHE SAID WITH A GRIN TO HER BOYFRIEND,
^WI THINK I'VE DISCOVERED ONE MORE WAY."

THERE WAS A YCUNG MAN FROM ISIS,

WHO HAD BALLS OF TWO DIFFERENT SIZES,

ONE WAS SC SMALL, IT WAS NOTHING AT ALL,

THE OTHER WAS HUGE AND WON PRIZES.

THERE ONCE WAS A PILOT PROM THE ZOO,
WHO BUGGERED A GIRL DOWN IN TAEGU,
HE SAID TO THE DOC, AS KE HANDLED HIM HIS COCK.
"WILL I LOSE BOTH MY TESTICLES, TOO?"

THERE ONCE WAS A YOUNG BISHOP FROM BIRMINGHAM,
WHO DIDDLED THE NUNS WHILE CONFIRMING 'EM,
HE BROUGHT THEM INDOORS, SLIPPED DOWN THEIR DRAWERS,
AND SLIPPED HIS EPISCOPAL WORM IN 'EM.

FUNCTION JUNCTION

ARE YOU FROM FUNCTION, FROM FUNCTION JUNCTION?
WHERE THE DOUBLE FUNCTION SUCTION PUMPS ARE MADE?
ARE YOU FROM FUNCTION, FROM FUNCTION JUNCTION?
WELL, I'M FROM FUNCTION TOO.

I LOVE A BILLBOARD, I ALWAYS WILL,
BECAUSE A BILLBOARD GIVES KE SUCH A THRILL.
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE CHILD,
A KCRNEY BILLBOARD DROVE LIE WILD.

VIT MEIN HAHI ON MEIK SELF

YIT ME IK HAND ON ME 11% SELF,
VAS 1ST DAS KERB?

DAS 1ST MEIN THINK-BOXER, KY I.XKKA DEAR.
THINK-BGXERi INKY, DINKY, DC.
DAI'S VAT VE LEARN IN DA SCKCOL!

VIT ME IN HAND ON K2IN SELF.
VAS 1ST DAS HERE?

DAS 1ST MEIN EIN-BLINKER, MY MOMMA DEAR.
EIN-BLINKER, THINK-BOXERi INKY, DINKY, DO.
DAT'3 VAT VE LEARN IN DA SCHOOL!

REPEAT USINGi SCHNATT-LOCKER
BULL-SKITTER

MILK-SHAKER (High Voiced)

ST INK-BOXER

TROUBLE-MAKER

KNEE-BENDER

ASS-KICKER

SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT

SWING LOW, SWEET CHARIOT, COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME
SWING LOW, SWEET CHARIOT, COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME
I LOOKED OVER JORDAN AND WHAT DID I SEE.
COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME?
A BAND OF ANGELS, COMING AFTER ME,
COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME.

1ST RENDITION - SING WITH GESTURES
2ND RENDITION - HUM WITH GESTURES
3RD RENDITION - GESTURES ONLY

BY THE RING AROUND HIS EYE, YOU CAN TELL A BOMBADIER•
YOU CAN TELL A BOMBER PILOT BY THE SPREAD ACROSS HIS REAR.
YOU CAN TELL A NAVIGATOR BY HIS SEXTANTS, CHARTS AND SUCH.
YOU CAN TELL A FIGHTER PILOT, BUT YOU CAN NOT TELL HIM MUCH!

CHORUSt IT'S A LIE. IT'S A LIE.

YOU CAN TELL THE SILLY BASTARDS IT'S A LIE, LIE, LIE.
IT'S A LIE. IT'S A LIE.

YOU CAN TELL THE SILLY BASTARDS IT'S A SILLY FUCKING LIE.

FIRST LADY FORWARD, AND THE SECOND LADY BACK.

THIRD LADY'S FINGER UP THE FOURTH LADY'S CRACK.

NOW ALL GATHER ROUND TO THE CENTER OF THE ROOM.

WILL THE LADY WHO JUST FARTED KINDLY LEAVE THE FUCKING ROOM?

CHORUS

FLYING FUCKING FIGHTERS DOWN AT FORTY FUCKING FEET,
THROUGH THE FUCKING SNOW AND EVEN THROUGH THE FUCKING SLEET.
FIRST YOU'RE FLYING FUCKING UP AND THEN YOU'RE FLYING FUCKING DOWN,
AND YOU'LL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW IT WHEN YOU HIT THE FUCKING GROUND!

CHORUS

HAIL BRITANNIA

HAIL BRITANNIA, MARMALADE AND JAM.
THREE CHINESE CRACKERS UP YOUR ASSHOLE.
BAM! BAM! BAM!

HAIL BRITANNIA, MARMALADE AND JAM.
TWO CHINESE CRACKERS UP YOUR ASSHOLE.
BAM! BAIft

HAIL BRITANNIA, MARMALADE AND JAM.
ONE CHINESE CRACKERS UP YOUR ASSHOLE.
BAM!

IX BALLS AT ALL (Sweat Betsy From Pike)

THER2 ONCE WAS A GIRL NAMED SARAH McFGX,
;/ITH HAIR CN HER CHEST AND CHEESE IN HER BOX.
SHE MARRIED A KAN NAMED PATRICK KcCALL.
.VITH A VERY SHOCK PETEH AND NO BALLS AT ALL.

CHORUSt NO BALLS AT ALL,
NO BALLS AT ALL,

A VERY SHORT PETER AND NO BALLS AT ALL.

THE VERY FIRST NIGHT THAT THEY WERE WED,

THEY TOOK OFF THEIR CLOTHES AND '.VENT STRAIGHT TC BSD.

SHE REACHED FOR HIS PECKER, IT WAS VERY SMALL.

SHE REACHED FOR HIS BALLS. HE HAD NO BALLS AT ALL.

NGW MOTHER, DEAR MOTHER, OH, WHAT SHALL I DO?
I'VE MARRIED A MAN WHO NEVER CAN SCREW.
I REACHED FOR HIS PECKER, IT WAS VERY SMALL.
I REACHED FOR HIS BALLS, HE HAD NO BALLS AT ALL.

OH DAUGHTER, DEAR DAUGHTER, DON'T YOU BE SAD.
IT WAS THE SAME TROUBLE I HAD WITH YOUR DAD.
THERE'S MANY A FIGHTER PILOT WHO WILL COME TO THE CALL,
OF THE WIFE OF A MAN WHO HAS NO BALLS AT ALL.

THE DAUGHTER WENT HOME, TOOK HER MOTHER'S ADVICE,
AND FOUND THE RESULTS EXCEEDINGLY NICE.
A BOUNCING YOUNG BABY WAS BORN IN THE FALL,
TO THE WIFE OF THE MAN WHO HAD NO BALLS AT ALL.

THE DUCHESS

THE DUCftESS WAS A'DRESS IK, A'DRESS IN FOR THE BALL,

WHEN OUT THRU THE WINDOW, SHE DID SPY HIM PISSIN ON THE WALL,

CHORUS. WITH HIS LILY WHITE KIDNEY WIPER, AND BALLS THE SIZE
OF THESE, AND HALF A YARD OF FORESKIN HANGING DOWN
BELOW HIS KNEES,
OH, HANGING DOWN!
OH, HANGING DOWN!

WITH A HALF A YARD OF FORESKIN HANGING DOWN BELOW
HIS KNEES.

$0 SHE WROTE TO HIM A LETTER. AND IN IT SHE DID SAY.
"I'D RATHER BE FUCKED BY YCU THAN BY IffY HUSBAND ANY DAY."

CHORUS

SO HE MOUNTED HIS WHITE CHARGER AND ON IT HE DID RIDE,

WITH HIS COCK SLUNG O'ER HIS SHOULDER AND HIS BALLS HUNG BY HIS SIDE.

CHORUS

HE RODE INTO THE COURTYARD, HE BOV& INTO THE HALL.
"MY GOD," CRIED THE BUTLER, "HE'S COME TO FUCK US ALL."

CHORUS

HE FUCKED THE COOK IN THE KITCHEN, HE FUCKED THE MAID IN THE HALL,
BUT WHEN HE FUCKED THE BUTLER, TWAS THE DIRTIEST FUCK OF ALL!

CHORUS

WELL, HE MOUNTED HIS WHITE CHARGER AND RODE INTO THE STREET,
WITH LITTLE DROPS OF SEMEN, PITTER, PATTER, AT HIS FEET.

CHORUS

OH, THEY SAY HE'S GONE TO HEAVEN.
THEY SAf HE'S GONE TO HELL.
THEY SAY HE FUCKS THE DEVIL.
AND I KNOW HE FUCKS Httt WELL!

CHORUS

vm xim

(Finicule, Finicula)

LAST NIGHT, I STAYED AT HONE AND MASTURBATED.
IT FELT SC GOOD. I KNEW IT WOULD.
LAST NIGHT. I STAYED AT HOME AND MASTURBATED.
IT FELT SO NICE, I DID IT TWICE.

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME WHEN I USED MY SHORT STROKE.
IT FELT SO GRAM I USED MY HAND.

AND YOU SHOUUtftfAVE SEEN ME WHEN I USED MY LONG STROKE.
IT FELT SO NE&, I USED MY FEET.

SMASH IT. CRASH IT. THROW IT ON THE FLOOR.

WRAP IT AROUN1 THE BEDPOST. SLAM IT IN THE DOOR.

IT IS SO NEAflfftO BEAT YOUR MEAT.

IT IS SO SWAMfTO SMACK YOUR SHANK.

EJACULATE TOtfJpHT, I GUARANTEE YOU'LL FEEL ALL RIGHT.

(TUNE* My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)

I FUCKED A DEAD WHORE BY THE ROADSIDE.
I KNEW RIGHT AWAY SHE WAS DEAD.
THE SKIN WAS ALL GONE FROM HER TUMMY,
THE HAIR WAS ALL GONE FROM HER HEAD.

AND AS I LAY DOWN THERE BESIDE HER,
I KNEW RIGHT AWAY I HAD SINNED.
SO I PRESSED MY LIPS TO HER SWEET PUSSY,
AND SUCKED OUT THE WAD I'D SHOT IN.

SUCKED OUT, SUCKED OUT,

I SUCKED OUT THE WAD I'D SHOT IN, SHOT IN.
SUCKED OUT, SUCKED OUT,
I SUCKED OUT THE WAD I'D SHOT IN.

(S^Mt^ft&Hte)

THERE ONCS WAS A MAIDEN NAMED ADELINE SCHMIDT»
WHO WI»f TO THE DOCTOR CAUSE SHE COULDN'T SHIf.
HE GAVE HER SOME MEDICINE ALL WRAPPED UP IN GLASS,
AND UP WENT THE WINDOW AND CUT WENT HER ASS.

CHORUS» IT WAS BROWN, BROWN, SHIT FALLING DOWN.
BROWN, BROWN, SHIT ALL AROUND. *
IT WAS BROWN, BROWN, SHIT FALLING DOWN.
THE WHOLE WORLD WAS COVERED WITH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT.

A HANDSOME YOUNG COPPER WAS WALKING HIS BEAT.
HE HAPPENED TO BE ON THAT SIDE OF THE STREET.
HE LOOKED UP SO BASHFUL, HE LOOKED UP SO SHY,
WHEN A BIG PIECE OF SHIT HIT HIM RIGHT IN THE EYE.

CHORUS

THAT HANDSOME YOUNG COPPER, HE CURSED AND HE SWORE.
HE CALLED THAT YOUNG MAIDEN A DIRTY OLD WHORE,
AND ON LONDON BRIDGE YOU CAN STILL SEE HIM SIT,
WITH A SIGN ROUND HIS NECK SAYING, "BLINDED BY SHIT."

CHORUS

BAftg Q? Q'IMMff
(Bells of St. Mary)

THE BALLS OF O'LEARY,
ARE WRINKLED AND HAIRY.
THEY'RE SHAPELY AND STATELY,
LIKE THE DOME OP SAINT PAUL.

THE WOMEN ALL MUSTER,
TO VIEW THAT GREAT CLUSTER.
HOW THEY STAND AND THEY STARE,
AT THAT BLOODY GREAT PAIR
OF O'LEARY'S BALLS.

mm m

AN AIRMAN TOLL ZE BEFORE HE DIED,
AND I DON'T THINK THAT THE BASTARD LIED.
HE HAD A WIFE WITH A CUNT SC WIDE,
THAT SHE COULD NEVER BE SATISFIED.

so he invented a prick cf steel,

DRIVEN BY A BLOODY GREAT WHEEL,

TWO BRASS BALLS ALL FILLED WITH CREAK,

AND THE WHOLE FUCKING THING WAS DRIVEN BY STEAM.

round AND round went THE BLOODY GREAT tfheel,
IN AND OUT WENT THAT BIG PRICK CF STEEL,
IN AND OUT UNTIL SHE CRIED,
"ENOUGH, ENOUGH. I'M SATISFIED."

BUT NOW WE COME TO THE BITTER BIT.

THERE WAS NO WAY OF STOPPING IT.

SHE WAS SPLIT FROM HER ASS TO HER TIT,

AND THE WHOLE FUCKING PLACE WAS COVERED WITH SHIT.

THE wrm mm ms*

OH, THE LIQUOR WAS SPILLED ON THE BARROOM FLOOR,

AND THE BAR WAS CLOSED FOR THE NIGHT.

"WHEN OUT OF HIS HOUSE CAME A LITTLE BROWN MOUSE,

AND SAT IN THE PALE MOONLIGHT.

HE LAPPED UP THE LIQUOR ON THE BARROOM FLOOR,

AND ON HIS HAUNCHES HE SAT,

AND ALL NIGHT LONG YOU COULD HEAR HIS SONGi

"BRING ON THE GODDAMN CAT!!"

m W mm w a 7m

(Chisolo Trail)

REACHED IN MY POCKET. PULLED OUT A PENNY,
mm SAID BOY YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY.

CHORUSi COKE AND TIE NY PECKER TO A TREE. TO A TREE.
COKE AND TIE MY PECKER TO A TREE.

REACHED IN MY POCKET, PULLED OUT A NICKEL.
SHE SAID FOR THAT YOU DON'T EVEN GET A TICKLE.

REACHED IN MY POCKET, PULLED OUT A DIME,
SHE SAID YOUNG MAN YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.

REACHED IN MY POCKET, PULLED OUT A QUARTER,
SHE SAID YOUNG MAN I'M A PREACHER'S DAUGHTER.

REACHED IN MY POCKET. FULLED OUT A HALF,
SHE SAID YOUNG MAN YOU MAKE ME LAUGH.

REACHED IN MY POCKET, PULLED OUT SIX BITS,
ALL SHE DID WAS WIGGLE HER TITS.

fr: REACHED IN MY POCKET, PULLED OUT A BUCK,

SHE SAID YOUNG MAN YOU'VE BOUGHT A FUCK.

TOOK HER TO THE KITCHEN, LAID HER ON THE SINK,
OH, MY GOD, HOW HER PUSSY DID STINK.

FUCKED HER SITTIN', FUCKED HER LYIN •,
| IF I'D HAD WINGS I'D FUCKED HER FLYING.

I I AWOKE IN THE MORNING, AND GUESS WHAT I SAW,

FIFTEEN CRABS AND A BIG BLUE BALL.

I WENT TO THE DOCTOR, CAUSE MY PECKER WAS SORE,
i MY GOD, SAID THE DOCTOR, YOU'VE BEEN TAKEN BY A WHORE.

⁵ AND NOW YOU CAN SEE, I'M A PECKERLESS MAN,

I FUCK 'EM WITH MY FINGER AND FOOL 'EM WHEN I CAN.

NOW THE LAST TIME I SAW HER, AND I HAVEN'T SEEN HER SINCE,
SHE WAS JACKING OFF A DOGGIE THROUGH A BARBED WIRE FENCE.

' ■TanBTA—ra

(Spoken)

CH, FOR THE LIFE OF A FIREMAN,
TO RIDE ON A FIRE ENGINE RED.
TO SAY TO A TEAM G? WHITE HORSES.
GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.

(Sung)

MY FATHER WAS A FIREMAN,

HE FUTS CUT FIRES.
MY BROTHER WAS A FIREMAN,
HE PUTS CUT FIRES.

MY SISTER SAL *'AS A FIREMAN'S 3AL,
SHE PUTS OUT TOO!

FIGHTER PILOT'S TOAST

HERE'S TO ME IN MY SOBER MOOD,
WHEN I RAMBLE, SIT AND THINK.
HERE'S TO ME IN MY DRUNKEN MOOD,
WHEN I GAMBLE, SIN AND DRINK.

BUT WHEN MY FLYING DAYS ARE OVER,
AND FROM THIS WORLD I PASS,
I HOPE THEY BURY ME UPSIDE DOWN,
SO THE WORLD CAN KISS MY ASS!

DON'y ffiRN TffE SHITHOUSE pO#N

PLEASE DON'T BURN THE SHITHOUSE DOWN,
MOTHER HAS PROMISED TO PAY.
MOTHER IS DRUNK, FATHER'S IN JAIL,
SISTER'S IN A FAMILY WAY,
BROTHER DEAR IS MIGHTY QUEER.
TIKES ARE FUCKING BAD.
30 PLEASE DON'T BURN THE SHITHOUSE DOW?--',
OR .;E'LL aLL HAVE TO SHIT IN THE YARL.

m ggWfift WW*

OH, THE KING WAS IK HIS COUNTING HOUoi. COUNTING OUT HIS WEALTH.
THE QUEEN MS IN THE B2DR0CN, rLAYING *ITH HERSELF.

CHORUSi BALLS TO YOUR PARTNER, YOUR ASS AGAINST THE *« ALL.
IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN LAID ON SATURDAY NIGHT,
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN LAID AT ALL.

OH, THE BRIDE WAS IN THE BEDRCCN, EXPLAINING TO THE GROOM,
THE VAGINA, NOT THE RECTUM, IS THE ENTRANCE TO THE WOMB.

OH, THE PARSON'S WIFE SHE WAS THERE, SEATED DOWN IN FRONT,
A WREATH OF ROSES AROUND HER NECK, A CARROT UP HER CUNT.

OH, THE VILLAGE PARSON HE WAS THERE, AND VERY SURFRISED TO SEE,
FOUR AND TWENTY MAIDENHEADS HANGING FROM A TREE.

OH, THE PARSON'S DAUGHTER SHE WAS THERE, SHE HAD THEM ALL IN FITS,
DIVING OFF THE MANTLEPIECE, AND LANDING ON HER TITS.

THEY WERE FUCKING IN THE HAYLOFTS, FUCKING IN THE RICKS,
YOU COULD NOT HEAR THE MUSIC FOR THE SLUSHING OF THE PRICKS.

THEY WERE FUCKING IN THE BARLEY, FUCKING IN THE OATS,
SOME WERE FUCKING SHEEP AND SOME WERE FUCKING GOATS.

OH, THE VILLAGE BLACKSMITH HE WAS THERE, HIS HAMMER AND HIS AWLS,
TALKING TO THE QUEEN AND SHOWING OFF HIS BALLS.

THEY WERE FUCKING IN THE PARLORS, FUCKING ON THE STAIRS,
YOU COULD NOT SEE THE CARPETS FOR THE CCIIE AND CURLY HAIRS.

THE VILLAGE IDIOT HE WAS THERE, MAKING LIKE A FOOL,

PULLING HIS FORESKIN OVER HIS HEAD AND WHISTLING THRU HIS TOOL.

OH, THE VILLAGE BUTCHER HE WAS THERE, CLEAVER IN HIS HAND,
AND EVERY TIME HE TURNED AROUND, HE CIRCUMSIZED A MAN.

/OH, THE MOTHER SUPERIOR SHE WAS THERE, A LYING ON THE FLOOR,
/ AND EVERY TIME SHE SPREAD HER LEGS, THE SUCTION CLOSED THE DOOR.

OH, THE VILLAGE CRIPPLE HE WAS THERE, NOT DOING MUCH,
HE LINED UP ALL THE GIRLS AND FUCKED THEM WITH HIS CRUTCH.

AND WHEN THE BALL WAS OVER, AND THE FOLKS WENT HOME TC REST,
THEY SAID THEY ENJOYED THE MUSIC, BUT THE FUCKING WAS THE BEST.

DIREST CLEANER'S SCS3
(Carolina in th« Morning)

nothing ccull be meaner thai* tc be a street cleaner

in the xcri;ing.

nothing could be bluer than to pick up horse manure
in the morning.

when the horses unload,
that's what i hate,

cleaning up horse manure from four till eight.

strolling with pushcart,

..he!* the breezes smell like cheezes

in the morning.

there's nothing more i fear,
than a horse with diarrhea
in the morning.

why can't they drcp those little balls,
that don't stick to my overalls
in the morning.

if i had aladin's lamp for only a day,

i would make a wish or two and here's what i'd say,

i wish they would put glasses

all around those horses asses

in the morning.

joy to the world

joy to the world, the bombs will come.
let's all go join the fun.
the bridges, dams and power plants,
the schools, the kids, and evsn ants
will know the awesome sound
of bombs hitting the ground.
they'll shiver, they'll quiver.
gee, war is fun!

tm it im mv

(Goodnight Ladies)

SOME GIRLS WCRK IN FACTORIES,
SOKE GIRLS WORK IN STORES,
LULU WORKS BEHIND A BAR,
vTTH FIFTY OTHER WHORES,

CHORUS* BANG IT INTO LULU,

BANG IT GOOD AND STRONG.
THAT'LL WE DO FOR BANGING,
WHEN LULU'S DEAD AND GONE?

WISH I WERE A PISSPOT,
UNDER LULU'S BED.
EVERY TIME SHE STOOPED TO PEE,
I'D SEE HSR MAIDENHEAD.

WISH I WERE A FINGER,
ON LULU'S LITTLE HAND,
EVERY TIME SHE'D WIPE HER ASS,
I'D SEE THE PROMISED LAND.

LULU HAD A BABY.

SHE HAD IT ON A ROCK.

SHE COULDN'T CALL IT LULU,

CAUSE THE BASTARD HAD A COCK.

LULU HAD A BABY,
SHE NAMED IT SONNY JIM.
SHE THREW IT IN THE PISSPOT,
TO TEACH If HOW TO SWIM.

LAST TIME I SAW LULU,
I HAVEN'T SEEN HER SINCE.
SHE WAS SUCKIN' OFF A TIGER,
THROUGH A BARBED WIRE FENCE.

i'm the kind that likes to flay,
that's .vky i cgiue t.vice a day.

!•].: your i.iaiu:aIw

3ang your kitocker, ring your bell,

don't you think i ak swell?
i'p your mailman.

i can come in any kind cf weather,

that's because my bag is made of leather.

i don't foci. with keys or locks.

i just slia it in your box.
i'm your mahj&an.

acodrecker song

oh, i stuck my finger in a woodpecker hole,
and the woodpecker said god bless my soul,
take it out, take it out, take it out, remove it.

so, i removed my finger from the woodpecker's hole.

the woodpecker said god bless my soul,

put it back, put it back, put it back, replace it.

i replaced my finger in the woodpecker's hole,

and the woodpecker said god bless your soul,

turn it around, turn it around, turn it around, revolve it.

i revolved my finger in the woodpecker's hole,
and the woodpecker said god bless your soul,
in and out, in and out, in and out, reciprocate it.

i reciprocated my finger in the woodpecker's hole,

and the woodpecker said god bless my soul,

pull it out. pull it out, pull it cut, retract it.

i retracted my finger from the woodfecker's hole,

ALU the woodpecker said god bless your soul,

take a smell. take a smell, take a smell, revolting!!

THE LADY IN RED

'TWAS A COLD WINTER'S EVENING, THE GUESTS WERE ALL LEAVING,

0*LEAHY WAS CLOSING THE BAR,

WHEN HE TURNED AND HE SAID TO A LADY IN RED,

•GET CUT, YOU CANT STAY WHERE YOU ARE."

SHE WEPT A SAD TEAR IN HER BUCKET OF BEER,

AS SHE THOUGHT OP THE COLD NIGHT AHEAD,

WHEN A GENTLEMAN DAPPER STEPFED OUT OF THE CRAPPER,

AND THESE ARE THE WORDS THAT HE SAID*

HER MOTHER NEVER TOLD HER

THE THINGS A YOUNG GIRL SHOULD KNOW

ABOUT THE riAYS OP AIR FORCE MEN,

AND HOW THEY COME AND GO, MOSTLY GO----

NOW AGE HAS TAKEN HER BEAUTY
AND SIN HAS LEFT ITS SAD SCAR,
SO REMEMBER YOUR MOTHERS AND SISTERS, BOYS,
AND LET HER SLEEP UNDER THE BAR.

THE SHEEPHERDER

THE SHEEFHEKDER LAY IN THE TALL. TALL GRASS,
£ZS FAVORITE DOG LAY CLOSE TO HIS ASS,
THROUGH A WW IN HIS WORN BLUE COVERALLS,
A TOOTHLESS SfCB LAY LICKING HIS BALLS.
A MAGPIE WATCHED FROM A FENCE CLOSE BY,
GAZING AT THE SCENE WITH PRACTICED EYE.
HIS GUN WENT OFF, THE OLD EWE QUIT,
THE HOUND DOG YELPED, THE MAGPIE SHIT.

BLESSED ARE WOMEN, THOSE CREATURES DIVINE.

BLOSSOM EVERY MONTH, BEAR EVERY NINE.

THEY'RE THE ONLY CREATURES IN EITHER HEAVEN OR HELL,

WHO CAN GET JUICE OUT OF A NUT WITHOUT CRACKING THE SHELL.

THE CAMEL

THE CREW, THEY All RIDE IK THE DCRY,
THE CAPTAIN, HE RIDES IN THE GIG.
IT DOMT GC A GCLDAKI. BIT FASTER,
BUT IT MAKES THE OLD BASTARD PEEL BIG.

CHORUS» SINGING - TCORALLY, TOCRALLY, TCC rcALLY-A •
TOORALLY, TCORALLY-A.
IT DON'T GC A GODDAMN BIT FASTER.
BUT IT MAKES THE OLD BASTARD FEEL BIG.

THE SEXUAL LIFE OF THE CAMEL
IS GREATER THAN ANYONE THINKS.
IN MOMENTS OF AMOROUS PASSION
HE OFTEN MAKES LOVE TO THE SPHINX.

NOW THE SPHINX'S POSTERIOR ORGANS
ARE BLOCKED BY THE SANDS OF THE NILE,
WHICH ACCOUNTS FOR THE HUMP ON THE CAMEL,
AND THE SPHINX'S INSCRUTABLE SMILE.

EXHAUSTIVE EXPERIMENTATION
BY DARWIN AND HUXLEY AND HALL
HAS PROVED THAT THE ASS OF A HEDGEHOG
CAN HARDLY BE BUGGERED AT ALL.

OH, WHY DON'T THE BOYS AT HARVARD

DO LIKE THE BOYS AT YALE.

THEY PULL ALL THE QUILLS FROM THE HEDGEHOG,

SO IT'S EASY TO GRAB BY THE TAIL.

HERE'S TC THE GIRLS OF NORTH ADAMS,
AND HERE'S TO THE STREETS THAT THEY ROAM,
AND HERE'S TO THE DIRTY FACED BASTARDS.
GOD BLESS 'EM, THEY MAY BE OUR OWN.

HERE'S TO OLD FORT MASSACHUSETTS,
AND HERE'S TO THE 01& MOHAWK TRAIL,
AND HERE'S TO THE INDIAN MAIDENS WHO
GAVE US OUR FIRST PIECE OF TAIL.

rom, reus m

OH, IP ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE LIKE FISH IN THE OCEAN,
AND I WERE A WHALE, I WOULD TEACH THE* EMOTION.

CHORUSi OH, ROLL YOUR LEG OVER, OH, ROLL YOUR LEG OVER
OH, ROLL YOUR LEG OVER THE MAN IN THE MOON.

OH, IF ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE BELLS XK THE TOWER,
AND I WERE A CLAPPER, I'D BANG BY THE HOUR.

OH, IF ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE LIKE FISH IN THE RIVER,
AND I WERE A SANDBAR, I'D SURE MAKE THEM QUIVER.

OH, IF ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE LIKE SHEEP IN THE PASTURE,
AND I WERE A RAM, I'D MAKE THEM RUN FASTER.

OH, IF ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE LIKE LITTLE WHITE RABBITS,
AND I WERE A HARE, I WOULD TEACH THEM BAD HABITS.

OH. IF ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE LIKE LITTLE RED VIXENS,
AND I WERE A FOX, I SURELY WOULD FIX 'EM.

OH, IF ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE LIKE HEDY LAMARR,
I'D TRY TWICE AS HARD AND GET TWICE AS FAR.

OH, IF ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE LIKE COWS IN THE CLOVER,
AND I WERE A BULL, I WOULD CHASE THEM ALL OVER.

OH, IF ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE LIKE LITTLE WHITE FLOWERS,
AND I WERE A BEE, I WOULD BUZZ THEM FOR HOURS.

OH, IF ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE LIKE LITTLE WHITE CHICKENS
AND I ";,'ERS A ROOSTER, I'D GIVE THEM THE DICKENS.

OH, IF ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE LIKE LITTLE OLD TURTLES,
AND I WERE A TURTLE, I'D GET IN THEIR GIRDLES.

OH, IF ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE LIKE GYPSY ROSE LEE,
AND I WERE HER G-STRING, OH BOY, WHAT I'D SEE.

OH, IF ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE LIKE NURSES WHO WOULD,
AND I WERE A DOCTOR. I WOULD IF I COULD.

OH, IF ALL LITTLE GIRLS WERE LIKE BRICKS IN A PILE,
AND I WERE A MASON, I'D LAY THEM IN STYLE.

KY HQ y m &<?XgY fff

(My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)

KY FATHER MAKES RUM IK THE BATHTUB*
MY MOTHER MAKES TWO KINDS CP GIN,
MY SISTER MAKES LOVE FOR A LIVING,
MY GOD, HCrt THE MONEY ROLLS IN.

CHORUS: ROLLS IN, ROLLS IN, MY GOD KC* THE MONEY ROLLS IN, ROLLS IN,
ROLLS IN, ROLLS IN, MY GOD HOW THE MONEY ROLLS IN.

MY BTGTHER'S A POOR MISSIONARY,
HE SAVES LITTLE GIRLIES FROM SIN.
HE'LL SAVE YOU A BLONDE FOR A DOLLAR.

MY GOD, HCV THE MONEY ROLLS IN.

MY UNCLE PAINTS REAL FRENCHY POSTCARDS,
MY AUNTIE SHE POSES FOR HIM.
HER COSTUME COSTS NARY A PENNY.
MY GOD, HOW THE MONEY ROLLS IN.

I TRIED MAKING ALL KINDS OF WHISKEY,
I TRIED MAKING ALL KINDS OF GIN,
I TRIED MAKING LOVE FOR A LIVING,
MY GOD, THE CONDITION I'M U».

MY AUNTIE MANUFACTURES FRENCH TICKLERS,
MY COUSIN PRICKS HOLES WITH A PIN,
MY UNCLE PERFORMS THE ABORTIONS.
MY GOD, HOW THE MONEY ROLLS IN.

KY FATHER HE DIED IN THE BATHTUB,
MY MOTHER SHE DIED FROM THE GIN,
MY SISTER SHE MARRIED MY BROTHER,
MY GOD, WHAT A MESS I'M IN.

KARY ANN BURNS

MARY ANN BURNS IS THE QUEEN 0? ALL THE ACROBATS.
SHE CAN PC TRICKS THAT WOULD GIVE A CAT THE SHITS.
ROLL GREEN PEAS FROM HER FUNDAMENTAL ORIFICE,
DO A DOUBLE Fill AND CATCH THEK ON HER TITS.

SHE'S A GREAT BIG SCN-OF-A-BITCH, TWICE AS BIG AS ME,

HAIR ON HER ASS LIKE THE BRANCHES ON A TREE,

SHE CAN SWIM, FISH, FIGHT, FUCK,

FLY A PLANE, DRIVE A TRUCK.

MARY ANN BURNS IS THE GIRL FOR ME.

I pvg MY tflFE ^

I LOVE MY WIFE, YES I DO* YES I DO.
I LOVE HER TRULY.

I LOVE THE HOLE THAT SHE PISSES THROUGH.

I LOVE HER RUBY RED LIPS, HER LILY WHITE TITS,

AND HER LITTLE BROWN ASSHOLE.

I'd EAT HER SHIT - GOBBLE, GOBBLE,

CHOMP, CHOMP,

WITH A RUSTY SPOON.

NELLY DARLPS

OH, YOUR ASS IS LIKE A STOVEPIPE, NELLY DARLING,
AND THE NIPPLES ON YOUR TITS ARE TURNING GREEN.
THERE'S A YARD OF LINT PROTRUDING FROM YOUR NAVEL.
YOU'RE THE UGLIEST FUCKING BITCH I'VE EVER SEEN.

THERE'S AN ODOR OF BLUE OINTMENT 'ROUND YOUR PUSSY.
WHEN YOU PISS YOU PISS A STREAM AS GREEN AS GRASS;
THERE'S ENOUGH WAX IN YOUR EARS TO MAKE A CANDLE,
SO WHY NOT MAKE ONE, DEAR, AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.

mmmt

oh, take it in your hand, mrs. kurphy,
it only weighs a quarter of a found.
it has hair 'round its neck like a turkey,
and it spits when you rub it up and down.

pugic HAire (Saiy /^J)

pubic hairs, you've got the cutest little pubic hairs.

there's not another that can compare, pubic hairs,

penis or vagina, nothing could be finer.

pubic hairs, i'm up in heaven when i'm in your underwear.

i didn't need a shove to take a mouthful of your pretty pubic hairs.

my girl

the nipples on ier tits are as big as plums.
the wiggle when she walks mould make a dead man come.
she's a mean mother-fuckeri she's a great cocksucker.
she's my girl - she fucks.

sally in the alley

sally in the alley sifting cinders,
lifted up her leg and farted like a man.
wind from her bloomers broke six winders,
cheeks of her ass went bams bam! bams

KY HUSBAND'S A COLONEL, A COLONEL, A COLONEL.
A VERY FINE COLONEL IS HE.

ALL DAY HE FUCKS OFf, HE FUCKS OFF, HE FUCKS OFF.
At NIGHT HE COl'M HOME AND FUCKS ME.

CHORUS» SING A LITTLE BIT, FUCK A LITTLE BIT,

FOLLOW THE BAND, FOLLOW THE BAND, FOLLOW THE
SING A LITTLE BIT, FUCK A LITTLE BIT,
FOLLOW THE BAND, FOLLOW THE HAPPY BAND.

REPEAT VERSE USING THE FOLLOWINGi
AN L/C, CHEWS ASS, CHEWS ME.
A MAJOR, SCREWS UP, SCREWS MB.
A CAPTAIN, KISSES ASS, KISSES ME.
A LIEUTENANT, GETS SHIT ON, SHITS ON ME.
A JUVAT, EATS CUT*T EATS ME.
A PANTHER, PAWS AROUND, PAWS ME.

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

ON THE FIRST DAY CF CHRISTMAS,
MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO XEs
A HAND JOB IN A PEAR TREE.

ON THE SECOND DAY OF CHRISTMAS,
MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO UEt

two BRASS BALLS AND A HAND JOB IN A PEAR TREE.

3RD DAY - THREE FRENCH TICKLERS
t+TK DAY - FOUR COCKSUCKERS
5TH DAY - FIVE MOTHER-FUCKERS
6TH DAY - SIX SACKS OF SHIT
7TH DAY - SEVEN SCROTUMS SWINGING
8TH DAY - EIGHT ASSHOLES ACHING
9TH DAY - NINE NYMPHO'S NIBBLING
10TH DAY - TEN TITS A-TINGLING
11TH DAY - ELEVEN LESBIANS LICKING
12TH DAY - TWELVE TWATS A-TWITCHING

TAffi h 15G

YOU TAKE A leg FROM SOME OLD TABLE.
YOU TAxLE Ai. ABin FROM SOME OLD CHAIR,

YCU TAKE a .NECK FROM SOKE OLD BOTTLE,

and from a horse, we'll get some hair - we'll get some hair.

AND THEN YCU PUT IT ALL TOGETHER

WITH THE AID OF STRING AND GLUE.

AND I'LL GET MORE LCVIN* FROM A GODDAMN DUMMY,

THAN I'LL EVER GET FROM YOU I

DO YOUR BALLS HANG LOW?
(March of the Toy Soldiers)

DO YOUR BALLS HANG LOW, DO THEY SWING TO AND FRO?

CAN YOU TIE THEM IN A KNOT. CAN YOU TIE THEM IN A BOW?

CAN YOU THROW THEM OVER YOUR SHOULDER LIKE A EUROPEAN SOLDIER?

DO YOUR BALLS HANG LOW?

IN DAYS OF OLD, WHEN KNIGHTS WERE BOLD,
THEY SHIT RIGHT IN THEIR BRITCHES.
THEY WIPED THEIR ASS WITH BROKEN GLASS,
THOSE TOUGH OLD SON OF BITCHES.

IN DAYS OF OLD, WHEN KNIGHTS were BOLD,
AND women wore MERE TRIFLES.
THEY HUNG THEIR BALLS UPON THE WALLS,
AND SHOT THEM DOWN WITH RIFLES.

i.....^^ /i^L

HSM/ 22 ^tc^t

so m®* m

30 LONG, MOM, I'll OFF TO DRCF THE BOMB,
SO DON'T WAIT UP FOR ME,

AND WHILE YOU SWELTER DOWN THERE IK YOUR SHELTER,
YOU CAN SEE ME OK YOUR TV.

WHILE WE'RE ATTACKING FRONTALLY, WATCH BRINKLEY AND HUNTLEY,
! DESCRIBING CONTRAPUNTALLY THE CITIES WE HAVE LOST.

NO USE FOR YOU TO MISS A MINUTE OF THE, AGONIZING HOLOCAUST.

LITTLE JOHNNY JONES WAS A U.S. PILOT *
; AND NO SHRINKING VIOLET WAS HE.

HE WAS MIGHTY PROUD WHEN WORLD WAR III WAS DECLARED.
I HE WASN'T SCARED, NO, NOT HE,

AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID
ON HIS WAY TO ARMAGEDDON,
"SO LONG, MOM, I'M OFF TO DROP THE BOMB,
SO DON'T WAIT UP FOR ME.

AND THOUGH I MAY ROAM, I'LL COME BACK TO MY HOME,
ALTHOUGH IT MAY BE A PILE OF DEBRIS.
SO LONG, MOMMY, I'M OFF TO KILL A COMMIE,
SO SEND ME A SALAMI AND TRY TO SMILE SOMEHOW.
I'LL BE BACK TO YOU WHEN THE WAR IS OVER,
AN HOUR AND A HALF FROM NOW."

• * \ ■
!

I SIX 7QUNP3 OF BOPBIBS

SIX POUNDS OF BOOBIES IN A LOOSE BRASSIERE,
! AN OLD USED CONDOM IN A GLASS OF BEER,

A TWAT THAT TWITCHES LIKE A MOOSE'S EAR,
| ¹ THESE FOOLISH THINGS REMIND ME OF YOU.

A DIRTY WHORS STROLLING DOWN THE STREET,
j A BLOODY TAMPEX IN A RUMBLESEAT,

! » I LOVE MY POONTANG BUT I BEAT MY MEAT,

; THESE FOOLISH THINGS REMIND ME OF YOU.

< ₍i

m mm

(Old Gray Bonnet)

PUT ON YOUR CLL GRAY BUSTLE AND GET OUT AND HUSTLE,
FOR TOMGRRO,., THE RENT'S COKING DUE.
PUT YOUR ASS IN CLCVER, LET THE BOYS LCGX IT OVER.
IF YOU CAN'T GET FIVE, TAKE TWO.

PUT ON THOSE OLD FINK PANTIES THAT USED TC BE YOUR AUNTIES
AND WE'LL GO FOR A TUSSLE IN THE HAY.

NOW THERE'S NO USE DUCKIN' CAUSE YOU're GONNA GET A FUCKIN
IN THE GOOD OLD FASHIONED WAY.

PUT ON YOUR OLD GRAY CORSETt IF IT WON'T FIT, FORCE IT,
FOR THE FLEET IS COMING IN TODAY.
AS THE BEES MAKE HONEY, LET YOUR ASS MAKE MONEY,
IN THE GOOD OLD FASHIONED WAY.

PUT ON THAT OLD BLUE OINTMENT, THE CRABS' DISAPPOINTMENT,

AND WE'LL KILL THOSE BASTARDS WHERE THEY LAY.

THOUGH IT SCRATCHES AND IT ITCHES, IT WILL KILL THOSE

SCNS-OF-BITCHES,
IN THE GOOD OLD FASHIONED WAY.

ON TOP Of QUE mi
(On Top of Old Saokey)

ON TOP OF OLD FUJI, ALL COVERED WITH SNOW,

I LOST MY PHANTOM PILOT FROM FLYING TOO LOW.

HE PUT ON AN AIR SHOW, HE DID IT FOR ME,

AT ALTITUDE ZERO HE CLOBBERED A TREE.

WITH THE THROTTLES WIDE OPEN, HE MADE HIS LAST PASS,

ON TOP OF OLD FUJI, HE BUSTED HIS ASS.

TCHEPONE
(Strawberry Roan)

i was hanging 'round ops. just aw ast in g my time,
not on the schedule. not earn in* a dime.
a colonel comes up and he says. "i suppose
you ply a fighter. from the cut of your clothes."

HE FIGURES ME RIGHT. "I'M A GOOD ONE." t SAY.
"DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ME A TARGET TODAY?"
HE SAYS YES HE DOES AND A REAL EASY ONE.
"NO SWEAT, MY BOY, IT'S AN OLD TIME MILK RUN."

i gets all excited and asks where it's at.
he gives me a wink and a tip of his hat.
"it's one-twenty miles to the northeast of home,
a small peaceful hamlet that's known as tchepone."

i go get my g-suit and strap on my gun,
helmet, and gloves, out the door on the run.
fire up my phantom and take to the air.
two's tucked in tight and we haven't a care.

in twenty-five minutes we're over the town.
from twenty-one thousand we're screaming on down.
arm up the switches and dial in the mils,
rack uf the wings, and roll in for the kill.

we feel a bit sorry for folks down below.
of destruction that's coming they surely don't know,
but the thought passes quickly. we know the war is on.
and on down we scream toward peaceful tchepone.
(unsuspecting. peaceful tchefone.)

release altitude. and the upper's not right.
i'll press just a little and lay them in tight,
i pickle those beauties at two-point five grand,
starting my pull when it all hits the fan.

a black puff in front, and then two off the rightj
then six or eight more and i suck it up tight.
ther's small arms and tracers and heavy ack-ack.
it's scattered to broken with all kinds of flak.

TCHEKiKS Continued

I JINK HARD TO THE LEFT AND HEAD OUT 10R THE BLUEi
MY WINGMAN SAYS, "LEAD! THEY'RE SHOOTING AT YOUi"
"NC SHIT I" I CRY AS I POINT IT TOWARDS HOME.
AND STILL COMES THE PIRE FROM THE TOWN CF TCHSPONE.
(DIRTY, DEADLY TCHEPONE!)

I MAKE IT BACK HOME WITH SIX HOLES IN MY BIRD.
WITH THE COLONEL WHO SENT ME I'D SURE LIKE A WORD.
BUT HE'S NOWHERE AROUND, THOUGH I LOOK NEAR AND FAR.
HE'S GONE BACK TO SEVENTH TO HELP RUN THE WAR.

I'VE BEEN 'ROUND THIS COUNTRY FOR MANY A DAY;
I'VE SEEN THE THINGS THAT THEY'RE THROWING MY WAY.
I KNOW THAT THERE'S PLACES I DON'T LIKE TO FLY,
UP IN MU *IA AND IN BAN KARAI.

BUT I'LL BET ALL MY FLIGHT PAY THE JOCK AIN'T BEEN BORN
WHO CAN KEEP ALL HIS COOL WHEN HE'S OVER TCHEPONE!

GHO?T Fygffi^ IN THE ?KY

AN OLD COWPOKE WENT RIDING OUT ONE DARK AND WINDY DAY,
STOPPED BENEATH A SHADY TREE AND PAUSED TO BEAT HIS MEAT
WHEN ALL AT ONCE A SLANT-EYED BITCH CAKE RID IN* DOWN
THE TRAIL.

HE STOPPED HER AND ASKED HER,"HOW 'BOUT A PIECE CF TAIL?

CHORUS i YIPEE-YI-YEAAAAAA, YIPEE-YI-YOOOOOOOO
GHOST FUCKERS IN THE SKY.

HER TITS WERE ALL A-FLOPPIN',
HER CUNT ATE OUT WITH CLAP.

HE SOCKED IT TO HER ANYWAY AND GAVE HER ASS A SLAP.
SHE SHIT, SHE MOANED, SHE THREW HIM FROM HER CRACK.
HE ROLLED ACROSS THE DESERT AND BROKE HIS FUCKING BACK.

DOWNTGaK

WHEN YOU GO? A BELLY FULL O*BRAVO*3
AND SKY SPOTS YOU CAN ALWAYS 00-
DOMNTOWN.

WHEN YCU'VB BEEN DRINKIN' AND "CANCEL"
YOUR THINKIN* YCU ARE SURE TC GC-
3CWKT0WN.

LISTEN TO THE MUSIC OF THE FAN SONGS SOFTLY SINGING,

LOOK AND SEE THE CONTRAILS OF THE KIGS,SO SWIFTLY WINGING,

SWEAT THE BOOZE.

THE FLAK IS MUCH BLACKER THERE,

IT SHAKES UP THE PILOTS,

IT SHAKES UP THE BEARS,

TO GO DOWNTOWN.

TRIED FLYING HIGH AND LOW DOWNTOWN,
EVERYTHING'S SHOOTING AT YOU.

LOOK AND SEE THE AIRFIELDS WITH THEIR
RUNWAYS SO INVITING,

SEE THE INTERCEPTORS COMING UP TO JOIN THE FIGHTING,

GET OUT OF HERE,

SAM'S ARE MUCH THICKER HERE,

COME UP IN SINGLES,

COME UP IN PAIRS - DOWNTOWN,

EVERYTHING'S WAITING FOR YOU.

JUST WHEN IT SEEMS 100 COME QUICKLY.
YOU CAN ALWAYS GO - DOWNTOWN.
SOMEHOW THE FEELING IN YOUR STOMACH
GETS SICKLY WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO - DOWNTOWN.

CREW CHIEFS LAUNCH THEIR AIRCRAFT WITH A PRIDE AND CARE AMAZING,

PROUDLY WATCH THE PHANTOMS, THEIR AFTERBURNERS BLAZING,

THEY'RE GOING AGAIN.

OUR BUDDIES ARE JAILED UP THERE.

WE STILL REMEMBER AND WE STILL ALL CARE.

SO »2 GO - DOWNTOWN.

TILL IT IS O'ER AND DONE - DOWNTOWN.

TILL IT IS O'ER AND VON - DOWNTOWN.

EVERYTHING'S WAITING FOR YOU.

MY GRANDFATHER * S COCK WAS TOO LONG FOR HIS SLACKS,

SO IT DRUG NINETY YEARS ON SHE FLOOR.

IT VIAS LONGER BY HALF THAN THE OLD MAN HIMSELF,

THOUGH IT WEIGHED NOT A PENNYWEIGHT MORE.

IT WAS FOUND ON THE MORN OF THE DAY HE WAS BORN,

AMD WAS ALWAYS HIS PLEASURE AND PRIDE.

BUT IT DROOPED, WILTED, NEVER TO RISE AGAIN,

WHEN THE OLD MAN DIED.

NINETY YEARS WITHOUT LIMBERING,
WHAT A COCK, WHAT A COCK!
HIS PISCES 07 ASS NUMBERING,
WHAT A COCK, WHAT A COCK!

■OT IT DROOPED, WILTED, NEVER TO RISE AGAIN,
WHEN THE OLD MAN DIED.

mmm m

(I'm Looking over a Pour Leaf Clover)

I'M LOOKING NORTHWARD 90 HAIPHONG HARBOR,
WHILE SAMS OR THE GROUND LOOK AT ME.
SEVENTH SAYS GO - GO,
BUT I'D RATHER NOT.

IT'S RIGHT IN THE ASSHOLE THAT I'LL SURE GET SHOT.

I'M NOT COMPLAINING, I'M EXPLAINING,
SO, TWO, STAY WITH ME THROUGH THE PASS.
JINK THROUGH THE JUNGLE, MAKE THE AB'S RUMBLE,
AND WE'LL FLY RIGHT UP OUR Otflf ASS.

NOW THE CUCKOO IS A STRANGE BIRD, IT SITS ON THE GRASS,

WITH ITS WINGS NEATLY FOLDED AND ITS BEAK UP ITS ASS.

FROM THIS STRANGE POSITION, SELDOM DOES IT FLIT,

FOR IT'S HARD TO SAY CUCKOO WITH A BEAK FULL CF...SWEET VIOLETS.

iHHHUBBMB

DASHING THRU THE 000, JK A FUCKING PHANTOM TWO.
FLYING THRU THE FLAK, NEVER LOOKING BACK.
THROUGH THE MILLS ME DODGE THE SAMS COMING OUR WAY,
WHAT FUN IT IS TO BOMB AND STRAFE THE DRY TODAY*

CHORUSi CBU'S, MARK 82*S, ?50'S TOO,
DADDY VULCAN STRIKES AGAIN,
0U1 CHRISTMAS GIFT TO YOU.

HEADS UP HO CHI MINK, THE FOX VS ARB ON THEIR NAY.

YOUR LUCK IT HAS GIVE IN, THERE'S GOING TO BB HELL TO PAY.

TODAY IT IS OUR TURN, TO MAKE YOU GAWK AND STARS.

NHAT FUN IT IT TO WATCH THINGS BURN AND BLOW UP EVERYWHERE! I

98. HIM Wiff, fl? BP ffBI MWff

(Little Town of Bethlehen)

OH, LITTLE TOWN OF HO CXI MINK,
HOW SAFE YOU THINK YOU LIB.
BENEATH YOUR RING OF SA-2'S,
YOU THINK THE GUYS WON'T FLY.
YET THROUGH THE CLOUD DECK RAINBTH,
A DEADLY TRAIL OF BOMBS.
TOO LATE FOR FBAR, THE BHD IS NEAR.
SO FUCK OFF HO CHI MINH!

iff sm Off«

WB SOLD OUR COW,
MB SOLD OUR COW,
WE'VE GOT NO USE
FOR YOUR BULL NOW I

STCP KICKING MY FUF AR0tt3%

OH. EVERY TIKE I GO TO TOWN,
THE BOYS KEEP KICKING MY FUF* AROUND,
MAKES NO DIFFERENCE IF HE IS A CLOWN,
THEY GCTTA STOf KICKING MY FUF AROUND.

HE'S BEEN UP THERE FOR A THOUSAND HOURS.

IN V F R AND THUNDERSHO'WERS,

BUT HE STILL DOESN'T KNOW HIS SHIT,

SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR THE GUYS If. HIS FIT.

OH, EVERY TIME I GO TO TOWN,
THE BOYS KEEP KICKING MY FUF AROUND,
MAKES NO DIFFERENCE IF HE IS A CLOWN,
THEY GOTTA STOP KICKING MY FUF AROUND.

HE'S CHANGING SQUAWKS AND CRANKING MILS,
HERE WE GO, "LOOK OUT FOR THOSE HILLS!"
WITH HIS HEAD UP HIS ASS AND LOCKED UP TIGHT,
HIS PRESENCE IS FELT ALL THRU THE NICRT.

OH, EVERY TIME I GO TO TOWN,
THE BOYS KEEP KICKING MY FUF AROUND,
MAKES NO DIFFERENCE IF HE IS A CLOWN,
THEY GOTTA STOP KICKING NY FUF AROUND.

• An unofficial Air Force acronym meaning Fellow Up Front
or P Up Front. Of course. the official Air Force
terminology for this position is ASO or Airplane Systems
Operator.

h mmw mm

AI L DAY I '75 FACED THE BARREN V/ASTE

.. ;vhci;t the taste c? water, cool, clear sater,

( \.\> lai; AND I .','ITH THROATS SO LRY,

i'l'o 1HCSE I HAT CRY for WATER, COOL, CLEAR WATER .

the wing to TREMBLE at the urccmng cri.

thsy r£:;c:i-;ifhiii-::;o squares am> fabricating lies.

BUI Tn£Y k2,£w it ..cull nll -ZrzllL GU k ?xad& prc!.: the sky.for the*. tc pass the 6*1.

there was blccd upon his risers, there was gore upon his boots.his brains aere all a'splattered 0 ER his mast in-baker chute.but they judged his wreck sccra3le, cn£ thousand feet at t.fc,and they passed the cri.

uncle JCK:< tz kcfi^G sock to dc it in the AFTERNCCN.

BlrfiSg m

v&vs ^ 4 mn

AiS I«S hlfi fCftvg

m mm

98. HIM Wiff, fl? BP ffBI MWff

thsy r£:;c:i-_;ifhiii-::;o squares am> fabricating lies.

BUI Tn£Y k2,£w it ..cull nll -ZrzllL GU k ?xad& prc!.: the sky.
for the. tc pass the 61.

there was blccd upon his risers, there was gore upon his boots.
his brains aere all a'splattered 0 ER his mast in-baker chute.
but they judged his wreck sccra3le, cn£ thousand feet at t.fc,
and they passed the cri.