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Shine and the Titanic
The Signifying Monkey
Stackolee
AND OTHER STORIES
FROM DOWN HOME
THE MORE PUBLISHING COMPANY
THE LION AND THE MONKEY
Down in the jungle near a dried-up creek,
The signifying monkey hadn't slept for a week
Remembering the ass-kicking he had got in the past
He had to find somebody to kick the lion's ass.
Said the signifying monkey to the lion that very same day,
"There's a bad motherfucker heading your way.
The way he talks about you it can't be right,
And I know when you two meet there going to be a fight.
He said he fucked your cousin, your brother, and your niece,
And he had the nerve enough to ask your grandmom for a piece."
The lion said, "Mr. Monkey, if what you say isn't true about me,
Bitch, I'll run your ass up the highest tree."
The monkey said, "Now look, if you don't believe what I say,
Go ask the elephant. He's resting down the way."
The lion let out with a might rage,
Like a young cocksucker blowing his gauge.
He ran through the jungle with a mighty breeze,
Kicking gorillas in the ass and knocking giraffes to their knees.
Then he saw the elephant resting under his tree.
He said, "Get up, motherfucker, you and me."
The elephant looked up from the corner of his eye
And said, "Scram, chickenshit, fuck with someone your size."
The lion squatted and made a pass.
The elephant ducked and knocked him flat on his ass.
Then he jumped in his stomach and stepped in his face
And tore his ass hole clean out of place.
He mashed in his face like a forty-four,
Plucked out his eyes and dared him to roar.
The lion crawled through the jungle more dead than alive,
And swore to stop the monkey from signifying.
Now that's when the monkey really started his shit.
"Jive-king of the jungle, ain't you a bitch,
All swelled up like you got the seven-year itch.
You was up there all jobbing and jiving and swinging your arms
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While the elephant was hitting yon like a young King Kong.
Going around talking about you can't be beat.
Well I want you to know that me and my wife had a ringside
seat.
And another thing. Every time me and my old lady try to get
a little bit,
You come 'round here with that roaring shit.
Git away from my tree before I pee."
The lion looked up and said, "Mr. Monkey, if you piss on me
While under your tree I pass,
I'll climb that tree and kick your motherfueking ass."
The monkey said, "Mister Lion, if I piss on you while you pass,
You'll climb this tree and kiss my ass."
The monkey started jumping up and down.
His foot missed the limb and his ass hit the ground.
Faster than a streak of lightning and a bolt of heat,
The lion was on the monkey with all four feet.
Then the monkey's wife started her shit,
"See that, monkey, that's what you git
Going around signifying and shit."
The monkey said, "Now look! You shut up, because there's
one thing I'll never be able to see.
That's how I leaped and missed a whole damn tree.
Bitch, I believe you pushed me."
The monkey looked up with tears in his eyes
And said, "I'm sorry, Mister Lion, I apologize."
The lion said, "There ain't no use for you to be crying,
Because I'm going to stop you from signifying.
Now before I put you away to rest,
I want to hear your dying request."
The monkey said, "Get your motherfucking feet out my eyes
and my nuts out of this sand,
And I'll wrestle your ass all over this land."
Then when the lion got ready to fight
The monkey jumped up and went clean out of sight.
But in the distance you could hear the monkey say,
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"As long as these weeds and green grass grow,
I'm going to be around to signify some more.
And another thing, Mr. Lion, you ain't no hell by the way you
creep,
'Cause I know where three elephants sleep."
Arthur
3
DEEP DOWN IN THE JUNGLE
Deep down in the jungle way back in the sticks
The animals had a pool room and the baboon was a slick.
But they didn't know, deep down in the jungle in the coconut
grove
Lived a little pimp monkey, you could tell by the clothes he
wore.
He had a camel-hair benny with the belt in the back,
Had a pair of nice shoes, and a pair of blue slacks.
He said he think he'd take a little stroll.
In just a few minutes he passed the pool-room door.
Now the baboon was setting on the stool
Waiting for the next damn fool.
Celery seen, celery done,
Who wanted to try Brother Devil one?
He said, "Come here, Mr. Monkey, you come here late.
But you're just in time for one more break."
The monkey said, "Houseman, I want you to hold my gun.
I don't want to kill the motherfucker, I just want to shoot
him one."
He said, "And by the way, while you're at that, I want you to
chalk my cue.
If I break this motherfucker, there's gonna be a tip for you."
He broke the balls and ran the one, two, and three.
He said, "Hold this cue stick while I go and pee."
He pissed on the table, he shit on the floor.
Came back and run the three and four.
Now he shot the balls, and he shot 'em all, and turned around
and shot the five.
Brought hot, scalding water from the baboon's eyes.
He banked the six and seven cross-side.
He took the motherfu eking eight for a god-damn ride.
He shot the nine, he shot the ten.
He only had five more balls to shoot on in.
He shot the 'leven, he shot the twelve.
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By that time, the baboon said, "To hell! Go to hell!"
He said, "Wait a minute, rack the ball."
He said, "Do you know how to coon?"
"Get you a rump to fit your stump
And I'll coon you till your ass-hole jump."
The monkey said, "Well, you ain't saying a thing."
So they started out. Brother Baboon said, "Monkey, when I
fall out on you I'm gonna spread four queens
And this a king."
Well, the game's going 'long all right, he made a mistake.
And that's when this monkey made a hell of a break.
Now there was a spider on the wall, with a fly beside his head.
He saw that break and he dropped dead.
He said, "Jump, Brother Rabbit, and leap Brother Bear,
It may look like shit, but there's 'leven cards there."
He said, "Somebody go get this motherfucker's wife,
'Cause I'm just about to win his god-dammed life.
I done won all his silver, done won all his gold.
If we play long enough, win his god-dammed soul."
Charley
5
SHINE AND THE TITANIC
It was a hell of day in the merry month of May
When the great Titanic was sailing away.
The captain and his daughter was there, too,
And old black Shine, he didn't need no crew.
Shine was downstairs eating his peas
When the motherfucking water come up to his knees.
He said, "Captain, Captain, I was downstairs eating my peas
When the water come up to my knees."
He said, "Shine, Shine, set your black ass down.
I got ninety-nine pumps to pump the water down."
Shine went downstairs looking through space.
That's when the water came up to his waist.
He said, "Captain, Captain, I was downstairs looking
through space,
That's when the water came up to my waist."
He said, "Shine, Shine, set your black ass down.
I got ninety-nine pumps to pump the water down."
Shine went downstairs, he ate a piece of bread.
That's when the water came above his head.
He said, "Captain, Captain, I was downstairs eating by
bread
And the motherfucking water came above my head."
He said, "Shine, Shine, set your black ass down.
I got ninety-nine pumps to pump the water down."
Shine took off his shirt, took a dive. He took one stroke
And the water pushed him like it pushed a motorboat.
The Captain said, "Shine, Shine, save poor me.
I'll give you more money than any black man see."
Shine said, "Money is good on land or sea.
Take off your shirt and swim like me."
That's when the Captain's daughter came on deck;
Hands on her pussy, and drawers 'round her neck.
Says, "Shine, Shine, save poor me.
Give you more pussy than any black man see."
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Shine said, "Pussy ain't nothing but meat on the bone,
You may fuck it or suck it or leave it alone.
I like cheese but I ain't no rat.
I like pussy, but not like that."
And Shine swum on.
He said, "I hope you meet up with the whale."
Old Shine he swim mighty fine.
Shine met up with the whale.
The whale said, "Shine, Shine, you swim mighty fine,
But if you miss one stroke, your black ass is mine."
Shine said, "You may be king of the ocean, king of the sea,
But you got to be a swimming motherfucker to outswim
me."
And Shine swim on.
Now when the news got to the port, the great Titanic had
sunk,
You won't believe this, but old Shine was on the corner,
damn near drunk.
Arthur
7
STACKOLEE
Back in '32 when times was hard
Had a sawed-off shotgun with a crooked deck of cards.
Had a pin-striped suit, old fucked-up hat,
And a T-model Ford, not a payment on that.
I had a cute little whore, throwed me out in the cold.
When I asked her why, she said, "Our love is growing old."
I took a little walk down Rampart Street,
Where all them bad-assed motherfuckers meet.
I walked through water and I waded through mud.
I came to a little-old hole-in-the-wall called the "Bucket
of Blood."
I walked in, asked the man for something to eat.
Do you know that bastard gave me a stale glass of water
and a fucked-up piece of meat.
I said, "Raise, motherfucker, do you know who I am?"
He said, "Frankly, I don't give a damn."
I know right then that sucker was dead.
I throwed a 38 shell through that motherfucker's head.
Now a cute little whore came up and said, "Where's the
bartender, please? "
I said "Look behind the bar, baby, he's with his mind at
ease."
She grabbed her head.
She said, "No, my son can't be dead."
I said, "No? Look at the hole in that motherfucker's head."
She said, 4‘Who did this crime, may I ask you, please?"
I said, "Me, bitch, and they call me Stackolee. "
She said, "I heard of you Stack,
But you better not be here when my son Benny Long gets
back."
I said, "Bitch, I'll be here when the world go to pass.
And you can tell Benny Long he can kiss my ass. "
Still another cute little whore came up, said, "Where's the
bartender?
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Hi, there, baby, where's the bartender, if you please?"
I said, "Look behind the bar, he's with his mind at ease."
So she peeped at her watch, it was seven of eight.
She said, "Come upstairs, the springs give a twistle.
I throwed nine inches of dick into that bitch before she
could move her gristle.
Now we came downstairs big and bold.
They was fucking on the bar, sucking on the floor.
Then you could hear a pin drop. Benny Long came in.
He walked over where his brother lay dead, and he calmly
said,
"Who had the nerve to put a hole in my brother's head?"
When I jumped up, I said, "Me, motherfucker, so put your
mine at ease.
I'm that bad-ass so-and-so they call Stackolee."
He said, "I heard of you, Stack, from the tales of old,
But you know you tore your ass when you fucked my hole.
But I'ma give you the chance my brother never got. I'ma
give you a chance to run,
'Fore I reach in my cashmere and pull out my bad-ass gun."
Just then some old sucker over in the corner said, "Some-
body call the law."
He stretched out and put a 45 shell through that mother-
fucker's jaw.
A cute little whore came over and said, "Benny, please."
He blowed that bitch down to her knees.
And out went the lights,
And Benny Long was in both of my 38 sights.
Now the lights came on and all the best.
I sent that sucker to eternal rest,
With thirteen 38 bullet-holes 'cross his motherfucking chest.
This boy said, "Who is this sucker whose name we haven't
heard
Got our boss laying there dead?
We ought to kill this motherfucker to fuck him up."
I said, "Cool it, motherfucker, let me tell you a bit.
I was raised in the backwoods, where my pa raised a bear.
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And I got three sets of jawbone teeth and an extra layer
of hair.
When I was three I sat in a barrel of knives.
Then a rattlesnake bit me, crawled off and died.
So when I come in here, I'm no stranger,
'Cause when I leave my ass-hole print leaves ‘danger'."
i
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10
HARD-LUCK STORY
Look out, bitch, and don't say a word,
'Cause I'm beating your ass about some shit I heard.
Long time now you been pulling this shit.
I'ma give you an ass-whipping you never will forget.
I send you to the store ask for butter, you bring back lard.
I'll lay beside you, my dick won't get hard.
You got a nerve to ask me for a dime.
You're kinda pigeon-toed, knock-kneed and blind.
Receiving the call off of each and every line,
That your grandmammy's pussy done run your grand-
pappy's line.
You got a nerve to ask me for a dime.
You got to walk the water, like Christ walked the sea,
Hold both thunder and lightning and bring it back to me.
Then I'll introduce you to a friend of mine.
He might lend you a nickel, he won't lend you a dime.
By that you know, you ain't no more bitch of mine.
__ Arthur
11
HARD-LUCK STORY
I was once a man with plenty of wealth,
Going 'round showing my friends plenty good time.
And so one day when I realized I didn't have a thing,
I decided to walk down the street and ask a friend of mine,
To loan me a dime.
He said, 44 You're a friend, a friend it's true
But to get one of these thin dimes, here's what you're
gonna have to do."
He said, 44You have to walk the waters, like Jesus walked
the sea.
Got to hold both thunder and lightning and bring it back
to me."
He said, "Put the Empire State Building down in a sack.
Jump up a camel's ass and snatch the hump out of that
motherfucker's back."
He said, "When you receive a letter from your grandfather,
saying your grandmother's pussy's running blind(?)
Your mother's sick and your father's dying.
Then I'll introduce you to a friend of mine
Who might loan you a nickel, but not a dime.
"Kid"
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SCHOOLTEACHER LULU
AND
CRABEYE PETE
Schoolteacher Lulu come to town,
Ninety-nine men couldn't fuck her down.
In that town lived Crabeye Pete.
Crab to his head and dick to his feet.
All the pimps and the conventionists holding a convention
in town,
Betting that Crabeye Pete would fuck Lulu down.
They was hold a convention at Carnegie Hall,
Come one, come all.
Now they was standing around 'bout noon,
Here comes Pete from the greasy spoon.
Now they got on the ground, they begin to fuck,
And my man was pushing dick to her like a ten-ton truck.
Lulu threw the bulldog curve.
Pete held on but he lost his nerve.
Then she threw the bulldog twist.
Pete hold on but he broke a motherfucking wrist.
They fucked and they fucked and they fucked and they'
fucked.
Pete was still trying to put that dick to her like a ten-ton
truck.
But when it was all over poor Pete was dead.
So we took Pete up on the mountain and hurried him deep
in the sand.
And on his grave we described, "Here Lies the World's
Greatest Fucking Man."
Charley
13
BIG DICK
AND
BUTTERBEAN SUSIE
Now here's a story, a story of old,
When the men were men, and the women were bold.
It was back in a to wn that was peaceful and quiet
When one lonely night a man came walking down the
street.
He had about a yard and a half of joint hanging down by
his feet.
He walked to the hotel, and he asked the fellow sitting quiet,
"Pardon me, mister, is this where the broad named Big
Whore lays her head?"
He said, "Well, tell her I'll see her tomorrow morning at
O.K. Corral, we'll start our bread."
That morning about nine past nine, Butterbean Susie let
out a fart,
To let them know the fucking was to start.
Just then, 'bout ten past ten,
Everybody knowed the fucking was about to begin.
Just then the earth gave a quiver, the ground gave a crut,
Everybody in town knew Big Dick had busted his nut.
Big Whore Sue screamed and grabbed her head,
Big Dick wiped the blood off his dick, said,
"Get the bitch, 'cause this whore is dead."
He got up, put his thing down his pants, gently at ease,
Got up and wiped the dirt off his knees.
As he was strolling out of town, he tipped his hat,
He said, "I fucked many and I fucked 'em well,
But everyone I fucked have caught hell."
"Kid"
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JUST LOOKING FOR A JOB
Now I was walking down the road one day 'cause things
was hard.
I was just looking for a motherfucking job.
I knocked on this here door,
And what do you think, here come a pretty little whore.
She had on a nice little evening gown.
She said, "What you doing, hanging around?"
I said, "Well, Miss, I don't mean no harm."
I said, "I'm just coming 'round looking for a job."
She said, "Oh, a job."
She said, "Perhaps you could have the deed to my house
or the deed to my car.
The job I want you to do ain't too hard."
She said, "Come on and sit down over here."
I said, "Well, would you tell me what might this here
job be?"
She said, "Well, you got to get down on your knees
And eat this pussy like a rat eating cheese.
You got to get way down in it and blow it like Louis
blow his horn.
You got to peck all around, like a rooster pecking corn."
I said, "Hold it! Wait a minute, bitch, you're talking too
fast.
The next thing you know, you'll have my foot in your ass."
I said, "I'm not a rooster, so I can't peck corn
And I ain't Louis, so go blow your own horn."
Charley
15
THE GREAT MAC DADDY
I was standing on the comer, wasn't even shooting crap,
When a policeman came by, picked me up on a lame rap.
He took me to the jailhouse, 'bout quarter past eight.
That morning, 'bout ten past nine,
Turnkey came down the line.
Later on, 'bout ten past ten,
I was facing the judge and twelve other men.
He looked down on me, he said,
"You're the last of the bad.
Now Dillinger, Slick Willie Sutton, all them fellows is
gone,
Left you, the Great MacDaddy to carry on."
He said, "Now we gonna send you up the way. Gonna send
you up the river.
Fifteen to thirty, that's your retire."
I sg.id, "Fifteen to thirty, that ain't no time.
I got a brother in Sing Sing doing ninety-nine."
Just then my sister-in-law jumped up, she started to cry.,
I throwed her a dirty old rag to wipe her eye.
My mother-in-law jumped, she started to shout.
"Sit down, bitch, you don't even know what the trial's
about."
'Pon her arm she had my six-button benny.
Said, "Here you are MacDaddy, here's your coat."
I put my hand in my pocket and much to my surprise,
I put my hand on two forty-fives.
I throwed them on the judge and made my way to the door.
As I was leaving, I tipped my hat to the pictures once more.
Now outside the courtroom was Charcoal Brown.
He was one of the baddest motherfuckers on this side of
town.
The juries left out, and the broads gave a scream,
I was cooling 'bout hundred-fifteen miles an hour in my
own limousine.
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Rode here, rode there, to a little town called Sin.
That's when the police moved in.
We was fighting like hell till everything went black.
One of those sneaky cops come up and shot me in the back.
I've got a tombstone disposition, graveyard mind.
I know I'm a bad motherfucker, that's why I don't mind
dying.
"Kid"
17
THE SIGNIFYING MONKEY
FOR CHILDREN
The Monkey ancl the Lion
Got to talking one day.
Monkey looked down and said, Lion,
I hear you's king in every way.
But I know somebody
Who do not think that is true—
He told me he could whip
The living daylights out of you.
Lion said, Who?
Monkey said, Lion,
He talked about your mama
And talked about your grandman, too,
And I'm too polite to tell you
What he said about you.
Lion said, Who said what? Who?
Monkey in the tree,
Lion on the ground.
Monkey kept on signifying
But he didn't come down.
Monkey said, His name is Elephant—
He stone sure is not your friend.
Lion said, He don't need to be
Because today will be his end.
Lion took off through the jungle
Lickity-split,
Meaning to grab Elephant
And tear him bit to bit. Period!
He come across Elephant copping a righteous nod
Under a fine cool shady tree.
Lion said, You big old no-good so-and-so,
It's either you or me.
Lion let out a solid roar
And bopped Elephant with his paw.
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Elephant just took his trunk
And busted old Lion's jaw.
Lion let out another roar,
Reared up six feet tall.
Elephant just kicked him in the belly
And laughed to see him drop and fall.
Lion rolled over,
Copped Elephant by the throat.
Elephant just shook him loose
And butted him like a goat,
Then he tromped him and he stomped him
Till the Lion yelled, Oh, no!
And it was near-nigh sunset
When Elephant let Lion go.
The signifying Monkey
Was still setting in his tree
When he looked down and saw the Lion.
Said, Why, Lion, who can that there be?
Lion said, It's me.
Monkey rapped, Why, Lion,
You look more dead than alive!
Lion said, Monkey, I don't want
To hear your jive-end jive.
Monkey just kept on signifying,
Lion, you for sure caught hell—
Mister Elephant's done whipped you
To a fare-thee-well!
Why, Lion, you look like to me
You been in the precinct station
And had the third-degree,
Else you look like
You been high on gage
And done got caught
In a monkey cage!
You ain't no king to me.
Facts, I don't think that you
Can even as much as roar—
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And if you try Pm liable
To come down out of this tree and
Whip your tail some more.
The Monkey started laughing
And jumping up and down.
But he jumped so hard the limb broke
And he landed—bam!—on the ground.
When he went to run, his foot slipped
And he fell flat down.
Grrr-rrr-rr-r! The Lion was on him
With his front feet and his hind.
Monkey hollered, Ow!
Lion said, You little flea-bag you!
Why, I'll eat you up alive.
I wouldn't a-been in this fix a-tall
Wasn't for your signifying jive.
Please, said Monkey, Mister Lion,
If you'll just let me go,
I got something to tell you, please,
I think you ought to know.
Lion let the Monkey loose
To see what his tale could be—
And Monkey jumped right back on up
Into his tree.
What I was gonna tell you, said Monkey,
Is you square old so-and-so,
If you fool with me I'll get
Elephant to whip your head some more.
Monkey, said the Lion,
Beat to his unbooted knees,
You and all your signifying children
Better stay up in them trees.
Which is why today
Monkey does his signifying
A-way-up out of the way.
Traditional. A Harlem version,
Embassy Bar 1956
20
SHINE AND THE TITANIC
It was 1912 when the awful news got around
That the great Titanic was sinking down.
Shine came running up on deck, told the Captain, "Please,
The water in the boiler room is up to my knees."
Captain said, "Take your black self on back down there!
I got a hundred-fifty pumps to keep the boiler room clear."
Shine went back in the hole, started shovelling coal,
Singing, "Lord, have mercy, Lord, on my soul!"
Just then half the ocean jumped across the boiler room deck.
Shine yelled to the Captain, "The water's 'round my neck! "
Captain said, "Go back! Neither fear nor doubt!
I got a hundred more pumps to keep the water out."
"Your words sound happy and your words sound true,
But this is one time, Cap, your words won't do.
I don't like chicken and I don't like ham—
And I don't believe your pumps is worth a damn! "
The old Titanic was beginning to sink.
Shine pulled off his clothes and jumped in the brink.
He said, "Little fish, big fish, and shark fishes, too,
Get out of my way because I'm coming through."
Captain on bridge hollered, "Shine, Shine, save poor me,
And I'm make you as rich as any man can be."
Shine said, "There's more gold on land than there is on sea."
And he swimmed on.
Jay Gould's millionary daughter came running up on deck
With her suitcase in her hand and her dress 'round her neck.
She cried, "Shine, Shine, save poor me!
I'll give you everything your eyes can see."
Shine said, "There's more on land than there is on sea."
And he swimmed on.
Big fat banker begging, "Shine, Shine, save poor me!
21
I'll give you a thousand shares of T and T."
Shine said, "More stocks on land than there is on sea."
And he swimmed on.
When all them white folks went to heaven,
Shine was in Sugar Ray's Bar drinking Seagrams Seven.
According to Negro belief ‘ persons of color, even servants,
were barred from the Titanic on its ill-fated maiden voyage.
But folk versifiers insist that there was one Negro aboard.
This is a Harlem variant of his story as heard by Langston
Hughes on Eighth Avenue in 1956
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