ikeex
1. Will the UGs Come out to Play
a 2. The Thud Driver!s Theme
1 3# Oh Little Tovm of Ho-Chi-Kin
4. Republics Ultra Hog
* 5. The Ho-Chi-Kin Trail
6. Dashing through the Sky
7. The Red River Valley
8. Our Leaders
9. On Top of the Pop-up * 10. The Thanh Hoa Bridge
JU I Love my Wife
i 12. Sally in the Alley
13. Uo in that Valley
14. Fop Goes the Weasel
15. Donft Send Me to Hanoi
16. One Hundred Kissions
17. Hallelujah
16. Where Have All the Old Heads Gone
19. Wild Weasel
20. 12 Days of Combat
21. Horse Shit
22. I Wanted Wings
23. Roll Your Leg Over
24. Ky God How the Money Rolls In
25. Woodpecker Song
26. Yellow Rose of Hanoi:
27. We've Been Working On the Railroad
28. #1 Clismas Song
29. Song of the Wolf Pack jf 30. If You Fly
31. Adeline Schmidt
i 32. Napalm
<■ 33. On Top of Old Thud Ridge
f 34. Sing Us Another One Do
35. Just Jive Me Operations
36. The Coed and the Cadet
37. A i^an Without a Women
38. Pop Goes tne Weasel
39. The Lady in Red
40. Humor esque
41 • YoufU never Kind
42. Ode to a Great SAR Effort
43 • Brown Anchor
44 • Dovmtown
45. King Dang Doo
46. Air Corps lament 47 • Flak; Showers 48# Mary Anne
Burns 49. Here's too
50, Save a Fighter Pilots' Ass
51. Call Out the Reserves 52• Virgin Sturgeon
53 • Da Nang Lullabye
54. Battle Hymn of the 85mm Gunner
55• Chicken Song
56. The Little Bird
57. Foggy Foggy Dew
58, I used to Work in Chicago
59 • Sexual Life of a Camel
60• Uncle George and Auntie Kabel
61. Into the Air 69ers
62. Ung-A-LLng
63• Bang it into Lulu
64. In-Flight Sefueling
65. Dirty Lil
66• Let's Have a Party
67. Friggin in the r&ggin
68. Spanish Guitar
69♦ Shanty Town
70. Bloody Great Wheel
71• Those Wedding Bells Are Breaking Up
72. Doodle-Lee-Doo
73. Fighter Pilots
74. -Kathuselem
75• Ace In the Hole
76. Titanic
77. Sammy Small (S.E.A. Style)
78. Battle Hymn
79. The Whores of Canada Junction
80. No Balls At All
81. Show Ke the Way To Go Home
82. Kary Ann Barns
83. Air Force Song
WILL THE MIGS COME OUT TO PLAY (1) Tune: My Indiana Home
When the SAMs start rising from old Haiphong Harbor,
And the 85's start puffing at Kep Hay, You will know your
target's just
around that mountain And you wonder if the MIGs will come to play
Oh, you reach your pull up point and
start your pop up,
And the tracers seem to urge you on your way, You see the bridge
and as you start
your roll in, You wonder if the MIGs will come to play.
Oh, you've dropped your bombs and now
you're off and running, Jinking hard you're on your merry way,
And as you reach the jagged limestone
ridges, You wonder if the MIGs will come to play.
Oh, you've reached the coast and all
the sea is friendly
Your fuel is low, but not too low you say, I can make it back to
Korat nice and easy, If only the MIGs don't come to play.
Oh, you start your climb and now you're
resting easy,
A drink of water helps you on your way, But a glint of light, a
speck up high,
and you know, The MIGs have fin-al-ly come out to play.
Oh, your burner's lit, you're diving
down, you're running, But hie overtake is much to great today, In
your dinghy bobbing on the Gulf of
Tonkin,
You wish the MIGs just hadn't come to play!!!
THE THUD DRIVERS THEME (2) Tune: Whiffenpoof Song
From a hootch in Southeast Asia, To the place where aces dwell To
the strip club down at Zuke We knew so well.
Sing the fighter jocks assembled With their glasses raised on
high, Sing they poorly not too clearly, loud as well
We will throw our glasses wildly,
And throw our bombs as well
And the finks at Two A.D. can go to hell
We are poor fighter jocks who have lost
our way, Help---Help---Help. We flew to the town
of Hanoi today, Help---Help---Help Steely eyed pilots up in the
blue, Lead got zapped by an SA-2, Let's haul ass or they'll zapp us
too, A-------B---------now!!
OH LITTLE TOWN OF HQ-CHI-MIN (3)
Oh little town of Ho-Chi-Min How safe you think you lie Beneath
your ring of SA-2s You think the "Fives" won't fly. Yet through the
cloud deck raineth A deadly trail of bombs9 Too late for fear* the
end is near<> How about that TBC???
REPUBLIC 'S ULTRA HOG (4) Tunes Wabash Cannonball
Listen to the jingle the gruntin1 and
the wheeze, As she rolls along the runway by the
BAG-9 and the trees. Hear the mighty roarin* engine as
you leap off in the fog, You're flying through the jungle in
Republic's Ultra Hog.
We came up from old Korat one steamy
summer day, As we pitched up on the target you
could hear all the gunners say, "She's big and fat and ugly,
shefs really
quite a dog, She's known around the country as
Republics Ultra Hogo11
Here's to MacNamara, his name will
always smell, He'll always be remembered down in
Fighter Pilots Hell, He frags all the targets and sends us
out to die, He sends us into combat in
Republic's 105
Listen to the jingle the gruntin1 and
the wheeze, As she rolls along the runway by the
BAC-9 and the trees, Hear the"mighty roarin' engine as
you leap off in the fog, You're flying through the jungle in
Republic's Ultra Hog!!!
THB HO-CHI-MIN TRAIL ($)
Tune: The Navajo Trail
Everyday along about sunrise
When the sky line is beginning to palei
I load six seven-fifties
And fly the Ho-Chi-Min Trail.
I hate to see the flak a burstin* 'round
me, I shiver when I think about it*s sting But over yonder hill
the SAMs are rising They always seem to yank my pucker
stringo
Well, what do you know^ it*s Bingo already^ And two hundreds the
course that I sail. Tomorrow I911 load more seven-fifties and fly
the Ho-Ghi-Min Trailo
DASHING THROUGH THE SKY (6)
Tune: Dashing Through the Snow
Dashing through the slqrf
In a Foxtrot one-oh five^
through the flack we fly
Trying to stay aHw,
The SAMs destrey our calm*
The MIGs come up to play
What ftm it is to strafe and bomb
Tkmlc Ho ¥. today.
CHORUS CBWs* Mark 82s, 750s too* Daddy Vulcan strikes again Our
Christinas gift to you.
Trying to stay alive,
The SAMs destroy our calm^
The MIGs come up to play
That fun is it to strafe and bomb
The ToRoVo today?
(CHORUS)
CBUs* Mark B2s$ 750s too5 Daddy Vulcan strikes again^. Our
Christmas gift to you.
Heads up Ho-Chi«Min^
The "Fives are on their way^.
Your luck it has give in#
Therms gonna be hell to pay^
Today it is our turn^
To make you gawk and starve
What fun it is to watch things burn
And blow up everywhere!!!
(CHORUS)
THE RED RIVER VALLEY (?)
To the valley he said he was flying and he never saw the pay that
he earnedo Many jocks have flown into the valley And a number have
never returned0
So I listened as he briefed on the mission0 Tonight at the bar
TEAK flight will sing^
But we *re goin* to the Red River Valley and today you^x^s flying
sgr wissgo
Oh the flack is so thick in the valley ^ That the MIGs and the
missiles we don*t need So fly high and down sun in the valley And
guard well the ass of TEAK leado
Now if things turn to shit in the valley And the briefing that I
gave you don*t heed^ They911 be waiting at the Hanoi Hilton And it»s
fish heads and rice for TEAK leado
We -^fueledon tfee way to the valleyo
In the States it had always been £\m$
But with thunder and lightning all around us$
rTwas the last AoAoRo for TEAK one0
Oh, he flew through the flack toward the target With his bombs
and his rockets drew a bead^ But he never pulled out of his bomb
run-,
*Twas fatal for another TEAK leado
So come and sit by ay side at the briefings$
We will sit there and tickle the heads9 For we9re going to the
Red RiYer falley And n§r eallsign today is TEAK lead!
QI3R IEAEERS ($) Tunes Manam
At Phillips Range in Kansas The jocks all had the knack But now
that we9re in combat We got Colonels on our back And every time we
say **Shit Hot11
©r whistle in the bar We have to answer to somebody Looking for a
starc
(CHORUS)
Our leaderSj> Our leaders*
Our leaders is what they always say#
But it?s bullshit^ it's bullshit* It*s bullshit they feed us
every day0
Today we had a hot one
And the jocks were scared as Hello
They ran to meet us with a beer
and tell us w$ were swells But Recce took theVBeDoAog And said we
missed aOiairo Now we*11 catch all kinds of hell From the Wheels at
Seeond Airc (CHORUS)
They send us out in bunches
To boat) a bridge and die
These tactics are for bombers
That our leaders used to fly.
The bastards don't trust our Colonel up
in Wing, and so I guess, We have to leave the thinking to The
Wheels in J.C«S.!
(CHORUS)
The J.CoSo are generals And they're not always right. Sometimes
they have to think it over Well into the night. When they have a
question Or something they can*t hack* They have to leave the
judgment to That money saving Mac!
(CHORUS)
Now Macss job is in danger For hers on salary too0 To be the
final say so Is something he canft do Before we fly the mission And
everything 0»K. He has to get permission from Flight Leader L.B.Jo!
ON TOP OF THE POP UP (9)
Tunes On Tc>p of Old Smokey
On top of the pop up Arid flat on my back, I lost my poor wingman
In a big hail of flak.
Guard channel was silent The sites were all dead,
Until we rolled in And looked up ahead.
The sky filled with fireballs, The missiles flashed by-Sweet
Mother of Jesus, We1re all going to die.
Number two called MIfm hit Ifm going to bust" Not one Goddamned
Elint A poor jock can trust.
So come ye young pilots And listen to Dad, Forget about jinking
And your ass has been hade
They * 11 hit you and burn you, Their flak reaches far, It9s a
long walk to Takhli, And a beer at the bar<>
THE THANH HOA BRIDGE (10)
Tune? The Strawberry Roan
I was hanging around Ops in this sweaty
crime, Just cussin* the schedule and my lack
of time, When up walks this Colonel and says,
"I suppose Youfre a trained killer by the looks
of your clothes•* Well I looked him up once and I looked
him down twice. I could tell by his sneer he werenft
thinkin1 nice,
So I said in a voice that shook with
the fear, I'm your man if you buy the beero*
The Colonel then said* "I've a place
in mind Where you can go, if you're not blind, They've flak and
MIGs and SAMs and such, I need a man that's good in the clutch0n I
get all het up and ask what I'd get, 'Twas a kick in the ass if I
didn't hit0 I told him I'd go cause they haven't found A target in
Hell that I couldn't poundo
We jump in his car and go to the line0 He stops by a "Nickle"
that's tied up
in twine, "This is your bird, now get on your way." I could tell
at a glance I'd sure earn
my pay0 I crank the beast up and I taxi on out, As I leave the
chocks I hear the chief
shout, "The oil pressure's low, the water
don't work, And the stab aug's got one hell of a jerk.
I give him a grin and waggle my thumb. This one's a counter and
I'm not so dumbo Well I take on off at two hundred per, I got two on
the wings and a full loaded
mer0 I struggle on up to ten thousand feet, Send down the tanker
or we'll never meete
Well I take on my gas and head out
on course« I call for a steer until I am hoarse. But Lion is down
and Invert won't say, and Brigham says I'm not going his way.
Well I'm off on ay own and all for
the besto Those bastards don't know the East
from the Westo Now I get over Thanh Hoa and I look
for the bridge* They sajid it was South but it's East
of the ridge o I roll in on my run* |t looks easy
as pie* 'Til the flak starts burstin' and
coveri**' the skyc
I cooly compute all the ndls I will need And calmly adjust both
angle and speedo 1 check my drift and with the bridge
in my sight* I mash on the button and pull off
to the right* Well I check back at six and I see
this big bird* He's a closing in fast and he's sure
riding herd. As he flashes by there's a Red Star
on each side* It must be a KEG and there's no place
to hideo
I head for the deck with all that she's
got* When along comes this SAM-my God
Irv» beep shot? While drifting down in W chute
all alone I'm finally convinced that I'm no
"smokin* stone"o I'm wishin' I was back %n Kansas
right now With a face-full of horseshit. my
hand on the plow but that ainft so and Ifm down in
the drink a day like today can sure make a man
think!
Oh that Thanh Hoa Bridge Oh that Thanh Hoa Bridge They've flak
and missilesy you're
some sittin! duck At downing good pilots they've had
lots of luck.
I LOVE MY WIFE (n)
I love my wife, yes I do, yes I do, yes
I do
I love her truly
I love the hole that she pisses through I love her ruby red lips
Her lilly white tits The hair around her asshole
I'd eat her shit, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, with a wooden
spoon.
SALLY IN THE ALLEY (12)
Sally in the alley sifting cinders raised up her leg and farted
like a
man The wind from her bloomers, broke six
windows
The cheeks of her ass went: 3AKI, BAIli, BAEl
UP IN THAT VALLEY (13) Tune: Down in the Valley
Up in that valley,
that valley so low. Where the SAM missiles flourish,
And the 85%s glow.
The Thai Nguyen steel plant,
the Hanoi rail yard, The bridges at Bac Giang,
They've played their trump card.
The Iron Hands mill right,
and the strike pilots flail.
The MIGs try to bounce us, But they always fail.
The KIG cap, he hollers,
"There's bandits at twelveJ"
"Launch1" screams tiie Weasel. It's better in hell.
The flak is a-burstin'
right next to ray hide. All I can hear is,
"you're lagging behind,"
We're down on the bomb run,
the target's in sight "Sweet Jesus," I'm thinking,
"I'd better break right."
We're breaking for Thud Ridge,
What a beautiful sight. Oh shjLil I just noticed — An overheat
light.
lty- heart is a-punping,
I know I'm not dead Please, God, get this old Thud
Just out past the Red.
If I can get past
That muddy old slough, The Sandys and Jollys
Will pull me on through.
I'm past ninety-seven,
And now 1 can boast , The rest i can finish
Out over the coast.
Where the tankers don't matter,
Although I awst say, 1 often have seen it,
Where the?1re saved the day.
Up in that valley
That valley of grief, 1 hope all your flights there
Will «lways be brief-
Good-bye to that valley, So long to Takhlio Don't bust your ass,
buddy, I'm going home free«
POP GOES THE WEASEL (same tune) (14)
Around and around the SAM site
The missile chased the Weaselo
The Weasel got pissed, the SAM got zapped <> Pop goes the Weasel^
Willy Peter shoved us where
To roll in to displease 'em
One more pass with HEI« Pop goes the Weasel«
Lady fingers did their job,
Did more than just tease vemo
The Russian Techs got all pissed off« Pop goes the Weaselo
We look around for SAM siteso
We grab their balls and squeeze 'esu They show their ass, we
shoot it offo - Pop goes the Weaselo
DON'T SEND ME TO HANOI (15) Tunes Winchester Cathedral
Don't send me to Hanoio
Please, don't put my name down. The shooting is bad there«
Don't send me downtowno
The bridges at Bac Giang,
More milling around0 Another Brown Anchor,
I think I'll leave town.
Don't send to Yen Bay
I don't like that much flak. It take8 too much damn gas
To bring my ass backo
Don't send me to Dong Hoi,
I don't want to get none, Those BUF support missions, They make
ny ass numb0
Just send me on milk runs,
Where there are no big guns.
I just want to fly where It's easy on ny bearo
■Cm. iH0BIM|ij,JlSS10MS' (16)
Tune: When Johnny Goiibs Marching Home
One hundred missions we have flown. f Aha* Aim. One hundred
missions we have'flown* Aha* Aha. One hundred missions we have
flown, One hundred bridges we have blown, But you canft return till
Lyndon gives the word*
From one to one hundred we did count* Aim* Aha
From one to one hundred we did county Aha* Aha
From qtis tc t/ne hundred we did count*
Bat nurf . ,lc • &iA ^r iu^re don*t count*
But ycu cat' u return till lyndon gives the
'Ikey said theyfd3ive **s combat pay* Aha* Aha Ihsj said they'd
give 110 combat pay* Aha* Aha They said theyfd give us combat pay*
And then the bastards took it away* But jon can't return till
lyndon'gives the wordo
We*re Lvoti Hands from old Takhli* Aha* Aha We6re Iron Hands from
old Takhli* Ahas. Aha We*re Iron Hands from old Takhli*
Our hearts beat fast* we think we111 pee$ But you can?t return
till Lyndon gives' the
wordo
The Weasels fly around alone9 Aha.f Aha The Weasels fly around
alone 9 Aha.f Aha The Weasels fly around alone > With half a flight
they head for home* But you canst return till lyndon gives the word.
The force rolls in amidst the flak, Aha* Aha
Tha fore# rolls in amidst the flak*' Aha* Aha
Tte force rolls in an&dst the flak* One half or more won't make
it baekj, * But you cah*t return till Lyndon gives the word*
Not many will return alive* Aha* Aha
Not mny will ret.urn alive * Aha^ Aha Not many will return alive*
Who flew the bloody 105, But you can*t return till Lyndon gives the.
word*
HALLELUJAH (same tune) (17)
Chorust Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Herer8~a tanker full of gas To save a fighter pilot's'ass*
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Put your gas-hole on the boom And you111 be
saved*
I was cruising at six angels in ®y foxtrot 105^ Thinking fbout
the Poo-Ting Back in the Takhli div% -When a sudden burst of aek~ack
Was all around the sky Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! Ify tanks are running
dry!
(0HOBUS)
So I squawked my parrot mayday
And called up GGI*.
Asking for a tanker
To keep me in the sky.
Well* the Airman-third controller
Said* "Please* don't go away•
Let me callvup Seventh
To see if iVB okay*11
(CHORUS)
Then a friendly tanker pilot Called out* "Fighter jock* no sweat*
Pve got half a jug of coffee* So Vm not bingo yeto If you get a
vector to me I'll be glad to pass some gas« Turn your twenty
mike-mike off* And don°t shoot up my assow
(CHORUS)
It was really getting hairy As I speed my old Thud south o I
could feel the cotton rising All inside my mouth0 Then I saw the
silver tanker And gave a happy shouto Then I saw the drogue behind
And started punching outo
(CHORUS)
Tune: Where Have All The Flowers Gone
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time passingo
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time agoo
Where have all the soldiers gone?
They•ve all gone to Vietnam
When will they ever learnf
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the Vietnamese gone? Long tine passingo Where have
al}. the Vietnamese gcane? Long time ago o
Where have all the Vietnamese gone? They9ve all become Viet Conge
Oh* when will we ever learnj Oh* when will we ever learn?
Where have all the VC*s gone?
Long time passingo
Where have all the VC's gone?
Long time agoG
Where have all the VC°s gone?
To fix the bridges that we bombc
Oh* when will th^y ever learns
Oh* when will they ever learn?
Where do all the Weasels go?
Long time passingc
Where do all the Weasels go?
Long tin agoo
Where do all the Weasels go?
O'er the ridge to meet the foeo
Oh* when will they ever learns
Oh* when will they ever learn?
Where have all the SAM sites gone?
Lopg time passingo
Where have all the SAM sites gone?
Long time ago*
Where have all the SAM sites gone?
They've been down* oh* so longo
Oh* when will they ever learnj
Oh* when will they ever learn?
Where do all the strike flights go?
Long time passingo
Where do all the strike flights go?
Long time ago0
Where do all the strike flights go?
"Gross the fence again* I knowo
Oh* when will they ever learnj
Oh* when will they ever learn?
Where have all the flak sitts gone?
Long time passing*
Where have all the flak sites gone?
Long time ago.
Where have all the flak sites gone?
Along the railroad, Oh, so long*
Oh, when will they ever learn;
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the old heads gone?
Long time passing.
Where have all the old heads gone?
Long time ago*
Where have all the old heads gone?
They've gone home; their tour is donee
You see-9 they've finally learned;
Oh yes, theyfve finally learned•
WIIP WEASEL (19) Tunes Sweet Betsy Fro® Pike
Wild Weasel, Wild Weasel* thuy call me by
name* 1 fly tip on Thud Ridge, and play the big
game<> I fly o'er the valleys and hide behind hills; I dodge all
the missiles^ then go in for kHls« I'm a lonely Thud driver with a
shit*»hot, fins
bear* Come weak guns, some weak guns; they1re all
off at one* But don't worry fellows, for threats, there
are none* There's a big one just looking at two o'
clock now* There's flak all around us. They've shooting,
and how! I'm a lonely Thud driver with a shit-hot,
fine bear* Keep moving, they're shooting. The target's
at eight, Go burner, now roll in, don't pull it off
straighto A missile! A missile! 1st*s take it on down. Oh God,
where18 that bastard? My flight
suits turned brown; I*m a lonely Thud driver with a shit-hot*
fine bear* Now pull it up, pull up, and head for the
sky, The missile's at two, boys; now watch it
sail by* There1s smoke from the SAM site out there
in the grass* Set 8em up hot, boys, and we111 nail his
ass© I'm lonely Thud driver with a shit-hot,
fine bear* Wild Weasel, Wild Weasel, they've called
me by name* I flew o9er the fence, and Ifve won the
big game* One hundred, one hundred• I'm heading
for home* And over those damn hills, Ifll never
more roam* I'm a lonely Thud driver with a shit-hot, fine bear*
12 DAYS OF COMBAT (20)
Tune: 12 Days of Christmas
On the first day of combat, the Air Force gave to me a pilot in a
teak tree.
On the second day»<,,0*2 rocket pods.
On the third day,«*.»3 fuel tanks♦
On the fourth day* ♦.. A ^jfvj Q'$
On th* fifth day.*,. 5' Ml6sTO Chase
On the sixth day..... 6 75O13
On the seventh day.*. 7 SAMfs a singing
On the eighth day*... 8 Flak sites firing
On the nineth day.... 9 Senators snooping
On the tenth day.*... 10 Sandys searching
On tne eleventh day.. A1 Choppers whirling
On the twelveth day.. 12 Pooyings waiting
HORSE SHIT (21)
There was a pilot of great renown, There was a pilot of great
renown , There was a pilot of great renown, Until he fucked a girl
from our town— Fucked a girl from our town— Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Ho,
Horse Shit.
He laid her in a feather bed,
He laid her in a feather bed, he
laid her in a feather bed,
and then he twisted out her maidenhead,
Twisted out her maidenhead—
Ha Ha Ka, Ho Ho Ho, Horse Shit.
He laid her on a winding stair,
He laid her on a winding stair,
He laid her on a winding stair,
and-then-he shoved it in clear up to there—
Shoved it in clear up to there—
Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Ho, Horse Shit
He laid her down beside a stump, He laid her down beside a atump,
He laid her down beside a 'stump, and-then-he missed her cunt and
split
t.^e stunip— Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Ho, Horse Shit.
He laid her dov: beside a pond, He laid her down beside a pond,
He laid her down beside a pond, and-then-he fucked her with his
magic wand, fucked her with his magic wand— Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Ho,
Horse Shit.
He laid her on the dewey grass, He laid her on the dewey grass,
He laid her on the dewey grass, and-then-he shoved the old boy up
her ass, Shoved the old boy up her ass Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Ho, Horse
Shit.
He took her to the countryside, He took her to the countryside,
He took her to the countryside, and-then-he fucked the girl until
she died, Fucked the girl until she died, Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho Ho, Horse
Shit
He took her to the Burial Ground, He took her to the Burial
Ground, He took her to the Burial Ground, And-then-he thought hefd
have another round, Thought hefd have another round, Ha Ha Ha, Ho Ho
Ho, Horse Shit
I WANTED WINGS (22) S.B.A. Version
I've been alive
Twenty years, plus four or five,
And I've tried many a pursuit.
I vent to pilot school,
Learned the ropes and learned the rules,
And got my wings and my blue suite
And then I went to get upgraded And like a fool I made it. Then
they made me number four, And then they sent me off to war, ~~
Buster. I wanted wings.
Till I got the goddamn things; Now I don't want them anymore.
The Republic Thunderchief
Is just twenty tons of grief.
The dirty sons^of bitches
Filled it with three-hundred switches.
Bustero
I wanted wings
Till I got the goddamn things; Now I don1t want them anymore.
To keep my body alive
They taught me to survive
At a place nestled in the hills.
They fed my procupine,
And other goodies fine;
Pemmican to cure all ray ills.
And in three weeks I had ftade it. They said I'd graduated. Well,
buddy, if that1s livin' I think that I111 just give in,
Buster.
I wanted wings
Till I got the goddamn things; Now I don't want them anymore„
You can have your he-man training In the snow, and when it's
raining, lid rather be a weenie With my tootle and martini,
Buster
X wanted wings
Till I got the goddamn things; Now I don't want them anymore.
I don't want to stay, %
But I cannot get away.
In Hanoi they all love parades.
Each day we take a walk
Through Hanoi Central Park,
Not dressed in style, I'm afraid.
Oh, those little yellow mammas Dressed us all in black pajamas,
Spectators, they just sit there, Sometimes throw rocks, sometimes
spit
there. Bustero
I wanted wings
Till I got the goddamn things; Now I don't want them anymore.
You can have your 105
I'd much rather stay alive.
the lousy afterburner
Gets you north just that much sooner,
Buster.
I wanted wings
Till I got the goddamn things; Now I don't want them anymoreo
These lines are in jest;
Thud drivers are the best,
At flying 'n chasing women, too.
The goods they deliver
Are sure to make Ho shiver,
And wish to hell this war was through.
And for some it Is all overo They lie down beneath the clover*
For they did go down in flames, But we will not forget their names,
Bustero
They wanted wings And they've truly got their wings*. And they
will wear them evermore o
For there are no regualticns For those heaven-bound formations^
If they don°t like it,, well They can split-S down to Hell,
Bustero
They wanted wings
And they've truly got their wings, And they will wear them
evermore o
ROLL YOUR LEG OVER (23)
Oh, if all little girls were like fish in
the oceano And I were a whale I would teach them
emotiono
Chorust Oh roll your leg over, Oh roll
your leg over Oh roll your leg over the man in the moon
Oh, if all little girls were like bells in
the towero And I were a clapper Pd bang by the hour
Oh, if all little girls were like fish in
the river And I were a sandbar Pd sure make them
quiver
Oh, if all little girls were like sheep
in the pastureo And I were a ram Pd make them run faster
Oh* if all little girls were like little
white rabbits And I were a hare I would teach them
bad habits
Oh, if all little girls were like little
red vixens And I were a fox I surely would fix °em
Oh, if all litU* girls were like Hedy
Lamarr Pd try twice as hard and get twice as faro
Oh, if all little girls were like cows in
the clover And 1 were a bull I would chase them
all over
Oh, if all little girls were like little
white flowers And I was a bee I would buzz them for
hours
Oh, if all little girls were like little
white chickens And I was a roster Pd give them the
dickens
Oh, if all little girls were like little
ole turtles And I was a turtle I'd get in their
girdles
Oh, if all little girls were like Gypsy
Rose Lee And I were her G-Str|ng oh boy what I'd
see
Oh, if all little girls were like nurses
who would And I were a doctor I would if I could
ROLL YOUR LEG OVER
I wish little girls were like little white rabbits, And I were a
buck and Ifd teach them bad habits
CHORUS: Oh roll your leg over, oh roll your leg over Oh roll your
leg over, it's better than way
I wish all young girls were like statues of Venus And I were a
man with a petrified penus
CHORUS:
I wish all young girls were like bats in a steeple And I were a
bat therefd be more bats than people
CHORUS:
I wish all young girls were like mountain road passes And I were
a sports car I'd buzz all their asses
CHORUS:
1 wish all young girls were like diamonds and rubies And I were a
jeweler I'd polish their boobies
CHORUS:
I wish all young girls were like B-29's and I were a Fighter
pilot, I'd buzz their behinds
CHORUS:
I wish all young girls were like strawberry patches And I were a
farmer I'd harvest their snatches.
CHORUS:
I wish all young girls were like fish in a pool And I were a
shark with a water proof tool.
CHORUS:
Continued next page
Roll Your Leg Over (Continued)
I wish all young girls were like fish in the ocean And I were a
wave I'd show them the motions. f
CHORUS:
I wish all young girls were like trees in a forest And I were a
woodsman Ifd split their Clitoris
CHORUS:
i
I wish all young girls were like bricks in a pile And I were a
mason I'd lay them in style
CHORUS:
I wish all young girls were like mares in a stable And I were a
groom I'd mount all I was able
CHORUS:
Oh, if all little girls were like bricks
in a pile And I were a mason I'd lay them in style
Oh, I wish that all girls were like fish
in a pool And 1 were a chap with a waterproof tool
MT GOD HOff THE MONEY ROLLS IN (2k) Tunes My Bonnie lies over the
ocean
My father makes rum in the bathtub My mother makes two kinds of
gin H$r sister makes love for a living My God how the money rolls in
Chorust
Rolls in* rolls in* my God how the money
rolls in* rolls ino Rolls in* rolls in* my God how the money
rolls in
My brothers a poor missionary He saves little girlies from sin
HefU save you a blonde for five dollars }fy God how the money rolls
in
My uncle paints real frenchy postcards Ity auntie she poses for
him Her costume cost nary a penny My God how the money rolls in
My father he died in the bathtub Mjjr mother she died of her gin
toy sister she married my brother Ml GOD WHAT A MESS I AM INo
WOODPECKER SONG Tunes Dixie (25)
Oh, I stuck ray finger in a woodpeckers
hole
And the woodpecker said God bless my soul Take it out^ take it
out* take it out^
remove it
So^ I removed my finger from the woodpecker
hole *
And the woodpecker said God bless my soul Put it back# put it
back* put it back*
replace it
I replace my finger in the woodpeckers
hole
The woodpecker said God bless my soul Turn it around* turn it
around 5 turn it
around^, revolve it
I revolved my finger in the woodpeckers
hole
And the woodpecker said God bless my soul In and out* in and out*
in andi out$> reciprocate it
I reciprocated my finger in the woodpeckers
hole
And the woodpecker said God bless my soul Pull it outs pull it
outs pull it outs
retract it
I retracted by finger from the woodpeckers
hole
And the woodpecker said God bless my soul Take a smell* take a
smelly take a smell9
revoltingo
THE YELLOW ROSE OF HANOI (26)
Tune: The Yellow Rose of Texas
There's a yellow rose in Hanoi Who loves a fighter crew. She runs
the Hanoi Hilton And she longs to welcome you. Her father's name is
Ho Chi Minh He has a long goatee* And if you greet him nicely, He
will let you stay for free.
CHORUS: Her eyes are shaped like almonds, And I'll give you a
hunch, I don't want to meet her family, Cause they're a nasty bunch.
It's fish heads and rice for breakfast And fish heads and rice for
tea. But so long as they don't catch me, No fish heads and rice for
me.
Oh, you may fly a Phantom,
Or you may fly a Thud,
But if you fly to Hanoi,
Better listen to me Bud.
You may talk of girls in Bangkok,
Or Los Angeles and such,
But the yellow rose of Hanoi
Is just a bit too much.
CHORUS:
Da Nang Lullabye
Tune: My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean
CHORUS: Roll in, roll in,
My God how the mortars roll" in, roll in.
Roll in, roll in,
My God how the mottars, r&HAin.
I went off to Southeast Asia To fight my own war in the air. I've
spent half my tour in a bunker, I don't think that its really fair.
CHORUS:
Each day I go off to fly combat, Then have a beer when I return.
I usually finish the first one, Before incoming rounds are heard.
CHORUS:
Each morning we go off to combat, At dawn in the clouds, fog and
rain* The Gyreens are up even sooner, To recapture the ramp at Da
Nang.
CHORUS:
And now my tour is all over I'll resume the life that I led. My
wife thinks that its rather silly, To put sandbags around our bed.
CHORUS:
i
WEfVE BEEN WORKING ON THE RAILROAD (27)
Wefve been working on the railroad Every fucking day. Wefve been
working on the railroad* Up Thai Nguyen way.
Uncle Ho ain't got no railroad,
No rolling stock or switches,
But Seventh frags us on the railroad,
Those dirty sons of bitches*
SAM's galore, 57fs too, 85fs will scragg your old Yazool Fuck,
Shit, Hate, Shit Hot too So what the hell is new.
Someone's up a tree on Thud Ridge, Someone1s in the drink I know
o-o-o-o Someone's in the karst near Hoa Lac, Shouting on the radio.
Shouting, Fee, Fi Fiddly-i-oh Fee, Fi Fiddly-i-oh, oh, oh,oh Fee,
Fi Jolly Green Oh Only 99 more to go.
#1 Clismas Song (28) Tune'i
Chestnuts roasting on a Thailand fire, Bull frogs singing in the
choir,v Samlars singing Ho, Ho, Ho, It's Melly Clismas you know.
Geicos clawling acloss the cold bare floor, Filed lice cooking on
the stove, Tee Lucks kissing neath the mistle toe, It's Melly Climas
you know.
Sweet lips waiting for my tender kiss, Garlic breath gets in my
way, VC's roasting in an nfcpalm fire. Melly Clismas Uncle.Ho.
Cripples limping down a small side street, Napalm rising at their
feet, I dropped it low, but they went too slow, Melly Clismas dear
Ho.
VC making love near rice paddy. Tee Lucks eyes are all aglow,
Twenty mike-mikes up his ass, Tee Luck screaming go, go, go.
Wolf Pack sends greetings from old Robin Olds, Chappie joined him
over there, We'll carry on, the stars'will be bright, Over Ubon
Rjachtani tonight...
Song of the Wolf Pack (29)
Tune Ghost Riders In The Sky
Oh pilots of the Wolf Pack Go to the briefing room The mission is
a good one To the MIGS it will mean doom We1re going up to Hanoi To
Kep and Phuc Yen too To write our bloody record In the annals of the
blue
We take off in our Phantoms To play our deadly cards The engines
make our thunder And our eyes are steely hard We're on the way to
battle The forces of the foe We're certain to destroy them We'll
seek them high and low*
We battle today, and make our kills The Wolf Pack in the sky
We cycle through the tanker The tension starts to rise We go to
meet our destiny Awaiting in the skies We tune and arm our missiles
As we streak across the black Our boss is in the forefront Leading
the Wolf Pack
We're showing on their radar Their hearts are full of hate They
rise to meet the challenge To meet their bloody fate They're headed
for disaster As any fool can tell They dare to face the Wolf Pack
We'll shoot them clear to hell
Continued next page
Song of the Wolf Pack (Continued)
We battle today, aid make our kills The Wolf Pack in the Sky
Wolf Pack lead says "Contact" They're MIGS, a flight of two Ifm
too close for the sparrow The sidewinder will do I'll roll into the
six o'clock Behind the trailing MIG And let him have a missile Just
like a fiery GIG
Oh other flights engaged more MIGS
Hot action filled the air
The Wolf Pack's lust was sated
Before heading for their lair
The enemy won't soon forget
The awesome deadly toll
As the 8th Wing troops return to base
And make .their victory rolls
We battle today and make our kills The Wolf Pack in the sky*
If You Fly (30)
CHORUS: Did you go BOOM today? 9 Did
you go BOOM today?
Two more blew up yesterday G.E. ain't here to stay.
If you fly an Eighty-nine You must be deaf, dumb and blind For
you life ainft worth a dime, What's your scheduled blow up time?
If you fly a ninety-four You will never holler no more, For your
lot we do not pine Itfs better than an Eighty-nine.
CHORUS:
If you fly an Eighty-six You will really get your kicks Bounching
those sub-sonic boys Playihg with their radar toys.
CHORUS*
If you fly a 101 Tell yourself its really fun One day it will
pitch up with you And you will wish you never flew
CHORUS:
If you fly a 102 Donft go up unless its blue For if you feel one
drop of rain You'll be in pieces not a plane.
CHORUS:
Continued next page
If You Fly (Continued)
If you fly a 104
The whole world flocks to your doer Range is short, the wings
don't last But golly it sure does fly fast
CHORUS:
If you fly a Thunderchief
You will soon shake like a leaf
Flying it may make you sick
It handles like a great big brick
CHORUS:
If you fly a Phanton two You're flying days will soon be through
It flies at twice the speed of sound If you can get it off the
ground
CHORUS:
ADELINE SCHKIDT (31)
There once v:a.s a maiden named
Adeline Schmidt She went to the doctor cause she
couldn't shit He gave her some medicine all
wrapped up in glass Up went the window and out went
her ass. -
CHORUS:
It was brown, brown shit
falling down
Brown, brown shit all around It was brown, brown shit falling
down Covered all over with SHIT, SHIT,
SHIT, SHIT.
A handsome young copper was
walking his beat He happened to be on that side of the
street He looked up so bashful, he looked
up so shy And a great gob of shit hit him right
in the eye*
The handsome young copper, he cursed
and he swore He called that young maiden a dirty
old whore Uieath London bridge he is now forced
to sit V.'ith a sign round his neck saying
"blinded ty shit% :
NAPAIM (32)
Tune: Gk>od ship Titanic
It was up by Hanoi wuere the Red meets the sea I was out on a
recce to see what I could see \hen I spied a farmer with his
pitchfork in his hand
It was sad when my napalm went down*
CHORUS:
It was sad, oh, it was sad
It was sad when my napalm went down (hit
the farmer)
There were husbands and wives Itty bitty children lost their
lives It was sad when the napalm went down*
It was up by Dong Hoi where I won my DFC
I was out on a recce to see what I could see.
When I spied a church below and I let my rockets go,
It was sad when those rockets went down*
CHOHUS:
It was sad, oh, it was sad
It was sad when those rockets v/ent down
(hit the steeple) All the people ran like hell, V*hen those
rockets hit the bell, It was sad when those rockets went down.
It was up by Thi Nugen when I Knew I was through The 37's and
57Ts had shot my turbine through, It was when I hit the silk, oh my
God, I strained
my milk] It was sad when that pilot went down.
CHORUS:
It was sad, oh, it was sad
It was sad when that pilot went down (hit
the bottom)
There were husbands and wives Itty bitty children lost tneir
lives It was sad when that pilot went down*
On Top Of Old Thud Ridge (33)
Tunei On Top Of Old Smokey
On top of old Thud Ridge All covered with flak I lost my poor
wing man He*11 never get back
For flying is a pleasure And dying a grief, And a quick triggered
Commie Is worse than a thief
For a thief will just rob you And take all you save But a quick
triggered Commie Will send you to the grave.
The grave will decay you And turn you to dust Not a Commie in a
thousand Can an old F-4 trust.
Now when the bad weather Keeps the ships down All day we can hear
this Horrible sound:
-Attention all pilots Now listen to this There'll be a short
meeting That you dare not miss#f<
They'll give us some lectures Then give us some more, But we have
all heard them Twenty-five times or more.
Continued next page
On Top Of Old Thud Ridge (Continued)
Now listen you trainees You can't fight the group Whatever they
tell you Is superfluous poop.
Now the moral of this story Is easy to seo Don't go to Haiphong
Or old Quang Khe
SING US ANOTHER ONE DO (34)
Ihere was a young man from Boston
VJho traded his car for an Austin
There was room for his a6S and a gallon
of gas But his balls hung out and he lost1 em
Chorus:
Ay, Ay,!!, Yi
In China they never eat Chili,
So sing me another verse
That's worse than the other verse
And waltz me around again Willie
There was a young man from Dundee
Who buggered an ape in a tree
The result was most horrid, all ass and
no forehead Three balls and a purple goatee.
There once was a man of class
Whose balls were made of brass
When they swung together, they played
stormy weather And lighting shot out of his ass.
There was a young man from Sparta
Who was the worlds champion farter
On the strength of one bean, he played
God save the Queen And Beethovenfs Moonlight Sonata,
There once was a man from Rangoon Who was born by the light of
the moon He had not the luck, to be born by a fuck But was a wet
dream scooped up in a spoono
There once was a boy from Baclaridge
And he was his parents disparage
He sucked off his brother, and went down
on his mother And ate up his sisters miscarrigeo
There once was a pilot from K-2
Who buggered a girl down in Taegu
He said to the Doc, as she handed him
his cock Will I lose both my testicles tooo
There once was a man from Trieste Who loved his wife with a zest
Despite all her howls, he sucked her
bowels And deposited the mess on her breaste
In the garden of Eden sat Adam
With his hand on the butt of his madam
He chuckled with mirth, for he knew on
this earth There were only two balls and he had !em
There was an old hermit named Dave Who kept a dead whore in his
cave He said I'll admit, I'm a bit of a shit But think of the mdhey
I'll save*
An Argentine Gaucho named Bruno Said fucking is one thing I do
know All women are fine, and sheep are divine But llamas are numero
uno«
There was a young man from New Brighton Who said my dear you've a
tight one Said she pon my soul, you have the wrong
hole It's the one up in front that's the right
one*
There was a man from St James Who played must unusual games He
lit a match, to his grandmothers
snatch And laughed as she pissed through the
flame s c
There once was a man named McGruder
Who wooed a nude Bermuda
Now the nude thought it crude, to be
wooed in the nude But McGruder was cruder, he screwed her
There was a young man from Kieth
Who skinned back pricks with his teeth
It waanst for pleasure, he adopted the
measure But for the cheese he found underneatho
There was a young lass named Alice
Who peed in the Archbishops chalice
It was not from relief, as was the belief
But purely from protestant malice*
There was a young bishop from Birmingham Who diddledthe nuns
while confirmin1 fem He brought them indoors, slipped down
their drawers And slipped his Episcopal worm in fem
There was a young man from Nottingham Who stood on the bridge at
Buckingham Just watching the stunts, of the cunts aud
the punts And the tricks of the pricks that were
fuckingham
There was a young man from Kildair
Who buggered his girl on the stairs
The bannister broke, he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid air0
There was a young queer from Khartuom
Who took a young lesbian to his room
They argued all night, as to who had the right
To do what, with which, and to whom
There was a professor from the Mall
Who possessed a cylindrical ball
The cube root of its weight, plus his penis
time eight Was four/fifth* of five/eights of fuck all.
There was a young girl from St Paul Who wore a newspaper dress to
a ball Her dress cought on fire, and burned her
entire Front page, sports section and all*
There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back, and tickled her crack And pissed all over the
ceilingo
There was a young man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he
could suck it He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin If Bay
ear were a cunt I could fuck ito
Where once was a young man from Kent Whose dick was so long that
it bent To save himself trouble* he put it in double And instead of
coming* he wento
There once was a girl named Alice
Who used a dynansite stick for a phallis
Itvrf found her vaginai* in South Carolina
•ifvi a piece of her hymen in Dallas
Thf*r* once was a girl from France
Wbu boarded a train by chance
The engineer fucked her> and so*d the conductor
And the brakeman went off in his pantso
There once was a man from Bombay Who fashioned a cunt out of clay
The heat of his prick* turned the clay into
brick And rubbed all his foreskin awayo
There once was a girl named Gail Between her tits was the price
of her tail And on her behind, for the sake of the blind Was the
same inforaation in braille*
There once wa? a girl from the Azores Whose cunt was all covered
with sores The dogs in the street/ would-not.eat the
green meat That hung in festoons from her drawers*
There was a young girl from Peru
Who as the Bishop withdrew
The Vicar is quicker$ he*s also.a licker
And considerably thicker than youo
There was a young priest from Dundee
Who went in the garden to pee
He said Pax Wo Biscuxa* I can't make the
piss come 1 guess Ifve got C LA Po
There wa$ & young girl named Myrtle Who was raped on the beach by
a turtle The results of ths fugk, was tow eggs and
a duck Which proved that the turtle was fertile0
There was a young man from Brock Who tied a violin string to his
cock With just one erection, he could play a
selection From Johann Sebastian Bach.
There was a young lady from Ransom Who had it three times in a
hansom When she cried for more, a voice from
the floor Cried my name is Simpson, not Sampson*
There was a young lady from Twilling Who went to the dentist for
a drilling But because of depravity, he filled the
wrong cavity And now she's nursing her filling
JU3>T GIVE ME OPERATIONS (35) Tune: Bless them all
Don't give me a P-38, the props they counter-rotate
Theyfve scattered and amitten from Burma to Britain
Don't give me a P-38
Chorust
Just give me operations
Way out on some lonely atoll
For I am too young to die
I just want to grow old
Don't give me a P-39
The engilte is mounted behind
They'll tumble and spin and auger you in
Don't give me a P-39
Don't give me a P-5t> it w&s alright for
fighting the hun But with cooland tank dry, you'll run out of
sky Don't give me a P-51
Don't give me a peter four oh, a hell of
an airplane I know A ground loopin bastard, you're sure to
get plastered Don't give me a peter four oh
Don't give me a P-61, for night flying
i3 no fun They say it's a lark, but I'm scared of
the dark Don't give me a P-6t
Don't give me an F-84, she's just a
ground loving whore She'll whine moan and wheeze and
she111 clobber the trees Don't give me an F-84
Don't give me an old thunderbolt, it gave
many a pilot a jolt
It looks like a jug and it flies like a tu Don't give me an old
thunderbolt
Don't give me a jet shooting star, it'll
go, but not very far It'll rumble and spout, but soon will flame
out Don't give me a jet shooting star
Don't give me an F-86, with wings like
broken match sticks They'll zoom and they'll hover, but as
for top cover Don't give me an F-S6
Don't give me an F-89, Tho TIME says
they'll really climb They're all in the States, all boxed up
in crates Don't give me an F-89
Don't give me an F-94* itfs never established a score
It may fly in weather3 but won't hold together Don't give me an
F~%
Don't give me an 86-D, with rockets radar a^d A/B
She's fast I don9t ear-a^ she blows up in midair
Don't give me an 86-D
Donft give me a 0-45* 80 slow it stalls out
in a dive A ground loop built in it> and bird colonels
in it Don't give me a C~45
Don't give me a C«54> six inches of rugs on
the floor
And we'll go fat-cat%n$ from here to Manhattan Donft give me a
G-54
Don't give me a B-45* the pilots don't g#t
back alive The MIG-15s chase 'em* they soon will erase
them Don't give me a B-45
Don't give me a one-double^Cy The bastard
is ready to blow
The A/B is there9 but you're saying a prayer Don't give me a
one-double-0
Don't give me an F-102* it never goes up when-
it's blue
An all weather coffin* that flames out so often Don't give me an
F-102
TffS COED AND THE CADET (36)
'Th- Zoed and. the Cadet were courting I de~
clar©^ %it. by the gate they didn't know that I
.vas there > h i'ek*s Coed she was bashful and Cadet he
was Bbj$ lit asked her if he eouldi and this was her
reply?
You can do it if you wanna
But you'd., better* do it right9
You^d better not do it
tike you did the oth^r night p
Cause if you do5 I'm' telling you
I'll never let you do it again
I really mean it^'
1*11 newr let you kiss me again
^JAJLMTHWT,A WOMAN (37)
k man without a woman Is like a ship without a sail Is like
a-boat without a rudder Like a kite without a tail
k man without a woman
Is like a shipwefek on the sand
But if there's one thing worse in the univers It's a womns, 1
said a woman 1 mean a woman without a man
For you ean roll, a silver dollar
Cross the .bar room floor
And it will.'rollj because it'.s round
And a woman never knows what a good man she's
got , Until she turns him down
So honey listen? now honey listen to me I want you to understand
That a silver dollar goes from hand to hand While a woman goes from
man to man
•r
POP G05S THE VflSASEL (38) (same tune)
Around and around the SAM site The missile chased the Weasel, The
Weasel got pissed, the SAM got zapped, . Pop goes the weasel,
Willey Peter showed us where to roll in to displease 'em* One
more pass with H3I, Pop goes the Weasel.
Lady fingers did their job, Did more than just tease1em, The
Russian Techs got all pissed
off Pop goes the Weasel*
We look around for SAM sites, We-grab their balls and squeeze1em
They show their ass, we shoot it off, Pop goes the Weasel*
THE LADY IN RED (39)
'Twasa cold winter's evening, the guests were all leaving O'leary
was closing the bar, .-When-he turned and he said to the lady in red
"Get out, you canft stay where you are11. She wept a sad tear in her
bucket of beer As she thought of the cold night ahead when a
gentleman dapper stepped out of the
crapper and these are the words that he said:
Her mother never told her
The things a young girl should know
About the ways of Air Force men
And how they come and go, mostly go**,*
Now age has taken her bueaty,
and sin has left its sad scar
So remember your mothers and sisters boys,
and let her sleep under the bar.
HUKORSSQUE (40)
Passengers will please refrain from flushing toilets while the
train Is standing in the stations, I love you As we go strolling
through the {5ark And goosing statues in the dark If Shermanfs horse
can take it, why canft you*
You're the guy that did the pushing Put the wet spots on the
cushion Footprints on the dashboard upside down Ever since you met
my daughter She's had trouble passing water Wish that you had never
come to town*
I'm the guy that did the pushing Put the wet spots faL/ifa& on
the cushion Footprints on the dashboard upside down Since I met your
daughter Venus I've had trouble with my penis Wish I'd never seen
your goddamn town*
YOU'LL SEVER TJND (41)
Come and join the Air Force l:/ere're a happy band they say We
never do a lick of work just fly around all day While others work
and study and soon grow old and blind ¥e take to the air without a
care and you will never mind
CHORUS
You'll never mind, you!U never mind So come and join the Air
Force and you will never mind
Come and get promoted
As high as you desire
You1re riding on a gravy train
If youfre an Air Force flier
And when you get to General, you will
surely find
Your wings fall off, the dough rolls
in But you will never mind.
You rake it up and spin it
And with an awful tear
Your wings fall off, the ship spins in
but you will never care
For in about two ninutes more
another pair you'll find
YoufU dance with Pete in an angel's suit
But you will never mind
Vftile flying the Pacific
You hear the engine spit
You watch the tach come to a stop
The God Damn thing has quit
The ship won't float, and you can't swim
The shore is far behind
Oh, vrhat a dish for crabs and fish But you will never mind
While flying over Laos In a Thunderchief Therefs one thing to
remember and that's my firm belief I've only got one engine, Jack
and if that bastard quits It'll be up there all by itself Cause I
will shit and git
And if some wily 1-2G 21
should shoot you down in flames
Don't sit around and bellyache
and call the bastard names
Just hit the silk, it's cream and milk
and pretty soon you'll find
There is no Hell and all is well
And you will never mind
ODE-TO A GREAT FUCKIN' SAR EFFORT (42) (With apologies to "The
N^ght Before Xmas"
One fine day, just last summer ('twas prior to a raid) The jocks
were hung over-from screwing the maid.
So with canopies open and heads hung in grief
Their sorrows were is»ny Their crew rest too briefj
The mission commander
By some marvelous feat
Got them all to the Anchor * ~
Cycled through, then did meet
With those beautiful Thuds spread in npodn ~ Quite a force! The
Phantoms moved in Like the old Trojan Horse*
The KZGs had been scrambled* Were headed out east, But the
gunners are hosing Eighty^fives at our beast!
"Why the hell should they hate me? I cried in dismay* nI9m
egressing* you bastards* So play it my way!11
But my cry went unheeded As our bird took a hit; And I know there
and then Things had just turned to shito
Thof my chances were nil There was fuck else to do But head for
the Black with our whole fuckin1 crew!
So in anger* and pissed* Did we drop the whole load On the
cock-suokin1 gunner*s Kids* wife and abode!
There was no goddamn grief As I cried out with glee *Eat your
heart out* you bitch* For you111 never get me!*
So with eighty per cent (that was all we could get) We headed for
North Point With hopes of- a TBT♦
But 9twas mostly in vain As we swung past the Red -I knew that my
ass Was fuckin9 near deaoL
9Cause Ten Bay came alive Like the Fourth of July! The flak was
so thick That I wanted to cry
As my two three and four Broke down* left* then right -Leaving us
solo In the chrindling light <>
ftWell ol* buddy*11 my number one GIB says to me/ "it looks like
there fis just Gonna be me and thee*
"And with your goddamn luck We should punch out at ten -So the
rest of the fall We can take with a grim
"For I just know goddamn well As I sit here in fright That both
fuckin8 chutes Were packed wrong last night!
"And I want you to know11
he hastened to add*
"That in case we donft make it -
Please don9t get mad!
*It isnft my fault
That the pod didn't work -
I told you that twice» you dumb fuckin' Jerk!
HA tank didn*t feed}
The doppler was shortj
(you said) we'll get our counter -
No matter what!
"Well, you*ve got your first counter -It may be the last Unless
this old whore Can take one more blast!11
Shut your trap* and eject!11 Was the word of the days So w$
punched, not at ten* But at two, so they say o «• o * <> ©
"BEOWN AMSHOR" (43) Tune: Oh Susanna
The phone did ring at half past four For briefing I weren5t there
«Get your ass here right away You*ve been elected spare" <>
M0h Brown Anchor"
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon my dick
"Oh, leader go home fast!11
I was setting by the runway
And feeling mighty low
"Bear four, you've got a hydraulic leak
I guess Pll have to go!tt
Oh Brown Anchor
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon ay dick
*0h, leader go home fast!11
I guess I told a little lie It probably wasn? t fair It was toy
only chance to say, "Bear spare is in the air*,"
Oh Brown Anchor
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon my dick
Oh* leader go home fast!
It was raining out when we took off Night weather we did fly We
rendezvous at nineteen thou Vy tank were nearly dry
Oh Brown Anchor
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon my dick
"Oh* leader go home fast!*1
As we climbed out I had to fart Hfy belly it did swell I had to
put my mask back on I couldnH stand the smell
Oh Brown Anchor
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon my dick
"Oh, leader go home fast!"
They*re 12 o»clock at 5 miles You*re cleared refueling freq
"Tally-holf our flight leader cried And head-^n we did mp%*
Oh Brown Anchor
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon my dick
"Oh, leader go home fast!11
We hung out at 14 thou
The burner going strong
Itoe flak came flying by my bow
We can't hang out here long.
Oh Brown Anchor
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip upon my dick
"Oh, leader go home fast!11
Oh X pulled off the target And for BoDoAo looked back I couldn't
see the bomb burst For the son-of-a-bitchen9 flak
Oh Brown Anchor
With my two hour ass
A Fahnestock Clip Upon my dick
"Oh* leader go home fast!"
Finally got my hundred flown To the states I'm flying back 6 more
hours on qy ass And then into the sack
No more Brown Anchor
For my two hour ass
Get that clip right off my dick
And jump in bed right fasto
1 opened my hold baggage
Ify wife she sure did flip
1 hope that she will understand
i just adopted "Kip"
No more Brown Anchor
Fox* my two hour ass
Get that clip right off my dick
And jump in bed right fast
I rolled over with a sigh Bed springs were sagging low Put a mark
upon the wall Only 99 to goo
No more Brown Anchor
For my two hour ass
Get that clip rigit off my dick
And jump in bed right fasto
Though I had a Bravo frag As I jumped into bed It was a real
tight target So I marked it up in red
No more Brown Anchor
For iay twd hour ass
Get that clip right off my dick
And jump in bed right fasto
No more Brown Anchor
For my two hour ass
Get that clip right off ay dick
And jump in bed right fast*
DOWNTOWN (44)
When you got a belly full o8 bravo*s
and shyspots you can always go —
Downtowno
When you been drinkin8 and "cancel11
you9re thinkin% you are sure to go —•
Downtown0
Listen to the music of the Fan Songs
softly singing
Look and see the contrails of the
MIGs so swiftly wingii^g
Sweat out the booseo
The flak is much blacker there
It shakes up the pilots
It shakes up the bears
To go downtown
Tried flying fast and slow
Downtown
Tried flying high and low
Downtown
Everything^ shooting at yo\u
Look and see the airfields with their
runways so inviting See the interceptors coining up to join
the fighting Get out of here SAMss are much thicker there Come up
in singles Come up in pairs Downtown Everything^ waiting for you*
Just when it seems 100 come quickly*
you can always go Downtown Somehow the feeling in your stossaeh
gets
sickly when you have to go Downtown Crew chiefs launch their
aircraft with a
pride and care amazirjg Proudly watch the Thurxierchiefs^ their
afterburners blazii^g They1re going again Our buddies are jailed
up there We still remember and we still all care So we go Downtown
Til it is o'er and done Downtown
Til it is through and won Downtown Everything«s waiting for you.
RING DANG POP (45)
When I was young and sweet sixteen I met a girl from New Orleans
Oh she was young and pretty too She had what you call a
ring-dang~doo
A ri^g«dang~doo* pray what is that Xt*s round and soft like a
pussy cat It's round and soft and split in two That°s what you call
a ring-dang-doo
She took me down into the cellar She said I was a very fine
feller She gav@ me wine and whiskey too
And she let m@ play with her ri^g-dang-doo
She took me up into her bed
She placed a pillow beneath my head
And then she took lay hickey-floo
And placed it in her ring~d&S3g«=doQ
Now six months later she began to swell She swelled and swelled
till she looked
like hell
She told her ma and her father too That I took a crack at her
ring-dang-doo
Her father said you filthy whore Youfve gone and lost your
maidens lore Pack up your bag and your nighty too And make your
living from your ring-dang-doo
She went to the city to become a whore She hung a sign upon her
door Five dollars now nothing else will do To take a crack at w&
ripg-dang-doo
And the fellers came and the fellers went And the price went down
to fifteen cents Fifteen cents and nothing elso will do To take a
crack at my ring-dang-doo
AIR CORF 5 LAMENT (46)
Tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic
Ity eyes have seen the days of men who ruled the
fighting sky. With hearts that laughed at death and lived for
nothing but to fly. 3ut now these hearts are grounded and those
days
are long gone by, The Force is shot to Hell.
CHORUS: Glory—flying regulations have them read at every station
Crucify the man who breaks them The Force is Shot to Hell.
V& bones have felt their pounding thump a hundred
thousand strong A mighty airborne legion sent to right the deadly
wrong.
But now it's only memory, it only lives in song, The Force is
Shot to Hell.
CK OKI'S.
I have seen them in their Nickels when their eyes
were dancing flame, I've seen their screaming high speed dives
that
blasted Hanoi's name, 3ut now they just fly Sky Spots and hang
their
heads in shame, The Force is Shot to Hell
CHOxdiS:
They flew their rugged Thunderchiefs through a
living hell of flak And bloody dying pilots gave their lives to
bring
them back But now they all play Ping Pong in the Operations
Shack The Force is Shot to Hell
Yes, the lordly Boeing Fortress and the
Liberators, too Once wrote the doom of Germany with contrails *
in the blue, But now the skies are empty and our planes are
wet with dew The Force is Shot to Hell
CHORUS:
You heard your pounding 50fs blaze from wings
of polished steel The purring of your Kerlin was a song your
heart could feel, But now the 1-5 charms you with a moanin1,
groanin1, squeal, The Force is Shot to Hell
CHORUS:
Hap Arnold built a fighting teasi that sang
the fighting song, About the wild blue yonder in the days when
men were strong, But now we1re closely supervised for fear we may
do wrong, The Force is Shot to Hell.
Chorus:
We were cocky, bold and happy when we played
the angel's game, We split the blue with buzzing and we rolled
our way to fame, But know that's all VERBOTTEN and we're all to
gash-darn tame, The Force is Shot to Hell
CHORUS:
One day I buzzed an airfield with another reckless chap,
* v;e flew a hot formation vdth his wingtip ■ in.my lap,. But
terefs a new directive and a^e'il have no more of
that
* The Force is Shot to Hell
CHORUS:
Have you ever climbed a Thunderchief up to where
the air is thin? Have you stuck her long nose down just to hear
the screaming din? Have you tried to do it lately? Better
not—you'll auger in, The Force is Shot to Hell
CHO:-.US:
Kine eyes get dim vdth tears when I recall the
days of old when piloits took their choice of being old or
"young and hold" Alas, I have no choice and I will live to be
Quite
old, The Force is Shot to Hell.
CHORUS:
But smile awhile my pilot, though your eyes may
still be v;et Someday we111 meet in heaven where the rules have
not been set, And God will show us how to buz2 and roll and
really let The Force is Shot to Hell
■ CHOIcUS:
FLAK SHOWERS (47)
Tune: April Showers
Although flak showers may come your way,
They'll bring the panic, that maKes you say
flly fuel is BINGO, I8m going home
So if you want to stay and fight you may
stay and fight alone,
I've added throttle, IfK on my way
I'll live to come back sone other day.
So keep on straffing that position
and knock it out for me
I1 in just a close supporter, can't you see.
KAitY ANNE 3URMS (48)
Mary Anne Burns is the queen of all the acrobats She can do
tricks that would give a man the shits She can roll green peas off
her fundamental orifice Do a double flip and catch them on her tits
She's a great big Sonefabitch, twice as big as me Hairs fround her
ass like branches on a tree She can swim, fish, fight, fuck, fly a
plane
drive a truck Kary Anne Burns is the girl for me..
HERE'S TO_________ (49)
Here's to __________he's true blue
He's a drunkard through and through
He's a drunkard so they say
Oh, he tried to go to heaven
But he went the other way
So drinK chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
chug-a-lug So drink chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug,
chug-a-lug.
SAVE A FIGHTER PILOT'S ASS (90) Tune: Throw a Nickle on the Drum
It was midnight in Korea All the pilots were in bed
When up stepped Colonel_____________
And this is what he said
Sabres, gentle Sabres, Sabres one and all
Pilots, gentle pilots, and all the pilots
shouted BALIS
When up stepped a young Lieutenant With a voice as harsh as brass
You can take those God Damn Sabre Jets And shove them up your ass*1*
Chorus: Oh Halleluia, Oh Halleluia, Throw a nickle on the grass
Save a fighter pilot's ass Oh Halleluia, Oh Halleluia, Throw a
nickle on the grass And you'll be saved
Cruising down the Yalu, doing six-twenty per there can a call
from the Major, Oh won't
you save me sir Got three big flak holes in my wings, my
tanks ain't got no gas Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, got six MIGs on my
ass
I shot ny traffic pattern, to me it looked
all right The air speed read one-thirty, ny God I
racked it tight The air frame gave a shudder, the engine
gave a wheeze Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, spin instructions
please
Oh; while rolling down the runway* and
headed for the ditch I looked down at ny prop* my God it18 ,.
in higjh pitch I pulled back on the sticky and rose
into the air Glory* Glory, Halleiuia* hem did I get
there
The boys up from that other group* they
think they are so hot They brag about the ^Bluetails** that
theyfve so often shot One thing they don*t remember, when are
they holler and hoot Is to look into their KLrror* just before
they shoot
I hear we*re leaving Europe* they say
we're going hone They tell us no more wandering* never
more wefU roam But the Colonels up at Langley9 are
planning on the sly Just where they're gonna send xms on our
next WI
I started on *p take off* I thought the
flaps were down But when I palled the gear up, the dive brake
craped the ground The General he sidled at m$ he thought it
was great fun But then I met the FoBoBo* Chitose here 1
come
- ... . . . ..... ......
m
We flew our Sabres through the war* we
flew then far and fast But when the war was over* we knew it
couldnet
last
CALL OUT THE RESERVES (51)
In peacetime the regulars are happy In peacetime they1re happy to
serve But let them get into a fracas TheyfU call out the Gaddamn
reserves
CHORUS
Call out, call out
Call out the Goddamn 'reserves, reserves
Call out, call out
Oh, call out the Goddamn reserves
Herefs to the regular Air Force They have such a wonderful plan
They call up the Goddamn Reservists Whenever the shit hits the fan*
They call up every young man They call up every old jock The
reservists are sent to Korat The regulars stay in Bangkok*
Here's to the regular Air Force
Vath medals and badges galore
If "'it weren't for the Goddamn Reservists
Their ass would be dragging the floor.
VIRGIN STURGEON (52)
Tune: Ruben, Ruben
Caviar comes from a virgin sturgeon Virgin sturgeon is a very
fine fish Virgin sturgion needs no urgin1 That's why caviar is my
dish.
Shad roe comes from a scarlet shad fish Shad fish have a very sad
fate Pregnant shad fish is a sad fish Got that way without a mate
Oysters they are fishy bevalves Biey have youngsters in their
shell How they diddle is a riddle But they do, so what the hell.
The green sea turtle's mate is happy With her lover's winning
ways First he grips her with his flipper Then he flips her and grips
for days.
DA NAMG LUUABIE (53)
Tune: VSy Bonnie lies over the ocean
CHORUS:
Roll in, roll in,
J^r God how the mortars roll in, roll in
Roll in, roll in,
My God how the mortars roll in.
I went off to Southeast Asia To fight my own war in the air. Ifve
spent half my tour in a bunker, I don*t think that its really fair.
Chorus:
Each day I go off to fly combat, Then have a beer when I return.
I usually finish the first one, Before incoming rounds are heard.
Chorus:
continued
They sent our old instructors, to teach us
all their tricks So now we1re flying training, behind those
dirty pricks
Letting down from forty-four, busting through
the aach That Sabre Jet was moving now, falling like
a ro$k }fy boom was aimed right at the field, there
wts an awful sound Since we're flying training now, I»m sitting
on the growd
X started up into a loop, I thought that I
was clear I pulled up under Colonel Blood, I thought
the end was near I went before the F.E.B., and they gave m
the works Glory, Glory, Halleluia, what a bunch of
jerks
Strafin1 on the panel, I made my pass too low There came a call
from Melroae, "One more
and hoae you go* I pulled that Sabre in the blue, she hit a
high speed stall Now I won't see my mother, when the work's all
done this fall
New Vm in the gutter, with prets#la in «y
- beer With pretzels in my whiskers, I knew the end
was near Then came this glorious Air Force, to save
me from the worst Everybody bust a butt and sing the second
verse
Fouled up mj crosswind landing, the left
wi^g hit the ground
There cam a call from the tower, pull up „
and go around I racked that Sabre in the air a doaen feet
or *ore
*
The engine quit, I almost shit, the gear
came through the floor
Split S onto «y bomb run, I got God Damn
low I pressed the bloody button, Let both my
babies go I sucked the stick back in iay gut, 1 hit
a high speed stall How I won't see my mother when the works
all done this fall
They sent ma up to Pyongyang, the brief said
"Shoshe ack ackn But by the time I got there, my wings were
holed by flak My aircraft went into a spin, it would no
longer fly Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, I am too young to
die
I bailed out from that Sabre, my landing
was top line With ay E and B equipment, I made for our
front line When I opened up my ration tin, to see what
was in it The God Damn Quartermaster, had filled the
thing with shit
Now iii this Commie prison camp, I am obliged to sit
For one cannot go very far, on a ration tin of shit
If X am ever free again, I will no longer fly
But I'll Have Quartermaster bollix, for breakfast UU I die
Each morning we go off to cambat At dawn in the clouds, fog and
rain* The Gyreens are up even sooner. To recapture the ramp at Da
Nang.
Chorus:
And now my tour is all over
I111 resume the life that I led*
% wife thinks that its rather silly*
To put sandbags around the bed*
Chorus:
BATTIE HYIJJ OF THE 85mm GUNNER (54)
Tune t Battle Hymn of the Republic
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of
the force And Uncle Ho has yelled and cussed and screamed
till he is hoarse, "Go out and man your guns my -boys, you have a
job
to do11 The Thuds are coming in.
CHORUS:
Gory, gory what a helluva way to die Gory, gory what a helluva
way to die Gory, gory what a helluva way to die I don't what to
fight no more#
Now as the Thuds are getting close, beside my
gun I stand We all should feel quite proud to stand in defense
of this land But getting my ass blown to bits is not what I
call grand The Thuds are coming in.
There1 s 750 fs all around, the sky is full of shit And smoke and
dust and arms and legs, don't like
it one damn bit. If they miss me this last time I think that I
ahall qiM-d The Thuds are coming in.
Chorus:
We got hit and now are down below in Commie hell Each day they
scare up pissless in a way we know
so well Our Commie Satin he stands up, you hear that
bastard yell The Thuds are coming in.
CHICKSH SONG (55)
We had some chickens, no eggs ^MdM-l-M would
they lay
We had some chickes, no eggs would they lay Yy wife said, honey,
itfs striking me funny We're losing money, no eggs would t,hey lay.
One day a rooster flew into the yard and caught the poor chickens
completely off guard. They're laying eggs now, just like they used
to, Ever since that rooster, flew into the yard. lEver since that
rooster, flew into tae yard.
THE UTIIE BIRD {&)
There once was a bird, no bigger than a turd
A sitten on a telegraph pole
He stuck out his neck and he shit about a pack
as he puckered bup his little asshole
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
As he puckered up his little asshole•
FOGGY, FOGGY DEW (57)
Oh, I am a bachelor, I live all alone
I work at the weaver's trade
and the only, only thing that I ever did wrong
was to woo a fair young maid.
I wooed her in the summer time
part of the winter too,
And the only, only thing that I ever did wrong
lias to shield her from the fog&y, foggy dew.
One night she came to my bedside
As I lay fast asleep,
This pretty, pretty maid
Knelt by ngr bedside
And there she began to weep.
She wept, she cried
She damn near died
Alas, what could I do
So I took her into bed
And covered up her head
Just to shield her from the foggy, foggy dew.
Now a year has gone by
Still a bacnelor am I.
And I work at the weaverf s trade
Comes a-knocking at my door
It18 a voice Ifve heard before,
Itfs the voice of the fair young maid.
She handed me a little one
She said, "What can I do"?
So I took him into bed
Just to cover up his head
Just to shield him from, the foggy, foggy dew.
•
Now I am a bachelor, I live with my son
We work at the weaver's trade
*
And every, every time I look into his eyes
He reminds me of the fair young maid.
He reminds me of the winter time,
Part of the summer too,
Of the many, many times that I gazed into her eyes
to shield her from ttie foggy, foggy dew.
I USED TO WOHK IN CHICAGO (58)
I used to work in Chicago, in a department store I used to work
in Chicago, I did "but I don't' :
any more
A lady came in, she asked for a hat I asked her what kind she
wanted Felt she said, so felt her I did I did, but I don't woric
there any more.
Cake-layer
Lamp-Floor
Food-Pet
Birds-Love
Glue-Paste
Scarf-Neck
Cream-I las sage
Girdle-Rubber
ftazor-Injector
SEXUAL LIFE OF A CAKEL (59)
The crew they all ride in the dory
The captain he rides in the gig
It doriH go a damn bit faster,
But it makes the old bastard feel big.
Chorus:
Singing toraly taraly toraly A Toraly toraly A ^ It donft go a
damn bit faster But it makes the old bastard feel big.
The sexual life of a camel Is greater than anyone thinks In
moments of amorous passion He often makes love to the sphinx
Now the sphinxVs posterior organs Are blocked by the sands of the
Kile V.Tiich accounts for the hump on the camel And the sphinxfs
inscrutable smile.
Exhaustive experimentation!
By Darwin and Huxley and Hall
Has proved that the ass of a hedgehog
can be buggered at all.
Oh why don't the boys down at Harvard Do like the boys at Yale
They pull all the quills from the hedgehog So it's easy to grab by
the tail.
Here's to-the girls of North Adam3 And herefs to the streets that
they
roam
And here's to their dirty faced bastards God bless tneia, they
may be our own.
Here's to old fort Massachusetts A nd here's to the old Mohawk
trail And here's to those Indian maidens They gave us our first
piece of tail.
UNCLE GEORGE & AUNTIE KABEL (60)
Tune: Hark the Herald Angels Sing
Uncle George & Auntie Mabel, fainted
at the beakfast table, This should be sufficient warning,
never do it in the morning
Ovalteen has set them right, now
they do it every night Uncle George is hoping soon, to do
it in the afternoon. A.....•.•..men.
INTO THE AIR 69ERS (61)
Into the air 69ers, into the air upside down Into the air 69ers,
set your sights and letfs
go down, wefll all go down. And when we see those bastard Commies
And when we make them shit a pound, you can bet those 69ers, are all
going down.
Into the air 69ers, On to your back
nsoisante-neuf" WefU blast those KIGs, 69ers And watch their ass
go Poof, Poof, Poof And when you see those "golf balls'1 flying And
the flak begins to blast, You can bet the 68ers Will bite 'em in the
ass I
TING-A-LING (62)
Beside a Laotian waterfall One bright and sunny day Beside his
shattered Thunderchief A young pur suitor lay*
His parachute hung from a tree He was not yet quite dead So
listen to the very last words This young pur suitor said:
I fm going to a better land
Where everything is right
Where whiskey flows from telegraph poles
There's poker every night.
There's not a fucking thing to do
But sit around and sing
Were girls are really women
Oh, death were is thy sting,
Ohf death were is thy sting-a-ling-a-ling Oh, death were is thy
sting The bells of hell will ring-a-ling-a~ling For you but not for
me,.. so:
Ting-a-ling~a-lingf blow it out your ass Ting-a-ling-a-lisg-lihg,
blow it out
your ass Ting-a~ling-a*-ling-lingf blow it out
your ass Better days are coming bye and bye!
BANG IT INTO LULU (6»
Some girls work in factories Some girls work in stores My girls
worjc in a fcnockin1 shop With forty other whores.
Chorus: Bang it into Lulu
Band it gddd and strong Whatfll we do for banging When Lulu's
dead and gone.
Wish I was a Pis spot Under Lulu's bed Every time she stooped to
pee Ifd see her maidenhead.
Wish I was a finger On Lulu's little hand Every time she wiped
her ass I'd see the promised land.
Lulu had a baby She had it on a rock She couldn't call it Lulu
'Cause the bastard had a cock.
Lulu had a baby She named it Sonny Jim She threw it in the pis
spot To teach it how to swim.
Last time I saw Lulu I haven't seen her since She was suckin1 off
a tiger Through a barbed wire fence.
IN-FLIGHT REFUELING (64) * Tune: Strawberry Roan
t Oh come fighter pilots, both young and old
And Ifll tell you a story, thatfll make you turn cold A story of
tankers, and a flight out to sea And I hate to tell you what they
did to me,
Oh we took off for Brown, oh so early one morn The weather was
balmy, but not really warm We soon left the coast line, and headed
to sea And for the last time land I did see.
Oh we flew on for hours, it seemed like more We flew and we flew,
till my butt it got sore And we finally got to that far from land
Where there were supposed to be tankers at hand.
But yes, you have guessed it, no one was there Nothing around,
but ocean and air, We called and we called, but it was in vain There
was nobody out there to refuel my plane.
Oh we circled and circled, and hollered for gas, The pain was
beginning to leave my ass, Tfwas beginning to pucker, and turn a
dull hue When finally a tanker came into view.
Well bygones were bygones, and we didn't bitch, We just latched
onto, that son of a bitch Who ho, called the scanner, "It's under
your wing, If you donft hook up,- you likely will ding!M
Well I stabbed and I stabbed, and I stabbed some more,
But I couldn't hit, that dirty old whore,
I looked at my gas gauge, and,it was down low,
I backed off again, and tried it real slow.
So I tried it real slow boys, but that didn't work,
I tried again fast, what a hell of a jerk,
The funnel it hit me, one hell of a blow,
As I looked at the cold water down there below*
I looked at that water, so cold and so chilled And I thought to
myself, I'll soon be killed So I'd better hook up, and take on some
fuel Cause that water below looks uncomfortably cool.
So I finally did it, I hit that damn hose I hit that old funnel,
right square on the nose The engineer said, "Sir, you're taking on
fuel11, But the bastard was lying, the dirty old fool.
I called that damn scanner, said, "Turn on the gas,
I canft wait much longer, or I'll bust my ctss. f!
He looked up from his paper, and said with a grin,
II You know there are days, sir, when you just can't wii
That's the end of my story, I'm sorry to say,
That old F-105 lies out in the bay,
But I'll have my vengeance, you can bet you life,
Cause there's one tanker pilot, that I'm going to knife.
DIRTY LIL (65)
Dirty Lil, Dirty Lil
Lives on top of garbage hill,
Never bathed,
Never will,
Ach! Ptui 1 Dirty Lil.
L~TS HAVE A PARTI (66)
Parties make the world go round'.
World go rourKi, world go round
Parties make the world go round
So lets have a party• . RAY33 SHIT HOT
We1 re going to tear down the bar in our club«~ Boo
Ke'se gonna build a NEW bar
RAY
It's gonna be a foot wide
BOO
But it fai be a mile long
KAY
Therefii be no bartenders in our bar BOO
V.Tef re gonna have BARKAIDS
RAY
Our barmaids will wear long dresses
300
Kade of CELLOPHANE
RAY
You can!t take our barmaids home
300
They'll take YOU home
RAY
You can't sleep with our barmaids
BOO
They wonft let you sleep
RAY
Beer's gonna be 50 cents a glass
BOO
Ivhiskey free
Ray
Only one to a customer
BOQ
Served in buckets
RAY
YB're gonna throw all the beer in
the river
BOO
Then we'll all go swimmimg
R£y
No girls allowed above the first flioor 300
Y/ith their clothes on
ii£y
There'll be no loving on the dancing floor BOO
And no dancing on the LOVING floor
RAY
i
FRIGGING IN THE RIGGING (67)
Board the good ship Venus l*y God you should have seen us The
figurehead was a whore in bed, And the mast a rampant penis
Chorus:
Friggin in the riggin, friggin in trie riggin Friggin in the
riggin, There's fuck allJ.else to do.
The captain of his linger He was a dirty bugger, He wasn't fit to
shovel shit From one place to another
The first mate's name i*as Korgan 3y God he was a gorgon, Ten
times a day he used to play Upon his sexual organ
The Second *Mate's name was Andy He was so young and randy They
boiled his bun in steaming rum For coming in the brandy
The Midshipman's name was Nipper He was a dirty ripper He filled
his ass with broken glass To circuncise the skipper
The Captain's wife was liable
When ever she was able
She'd fornicate with the Second Mate
Upon the gallery table
The Captain had a daughter Mio fell into the water, Delighted
squeals revealed that eels Had found her sexual quarter»
SPANISH GUITAR (68)
Oh the first port of call it was Aden, Aden Khere the girls
wouldn't screw but we made them
Chorus:
Two dollars I pay, for a bang up each way
and a tune on a Spanish guitar, Flink-plink-plink
Singing hi«*ziggy-ziggy, fuck a little piggy
Sideways: swish-swish 15r idea of a woman is a big fat whore
Shit-bag: Fuck-stick
Two dollars I pay, for a bang up each way and a tune on a Spanish
Guitar, Plink-plink-plink
•••The next port of call it was Boston, Boston ■ >!here I screwed
a girl named Austin
• ♦♦The next port of call it was Malta, Ealta /here girls
wouldn't screw but they ought ta
SHANTY TO;m. (69)
There's a shanty in the town on a little
plot of ground v;ith the green grass growin all around,
all around The roofs so worn so badly torn that it
tumbles to the ground Just a tumble down shack and it's built way
back !Bout tventy-five feet from the railroad
track
Lingers on my mind most all of the time Keeps calling me back to
my little grass
shack
I'd be just as sassy as Haile Selassie If I were a king wouldn't
mean a thing Put my boots on tall read the v/ritting on
the wall
And it wouldn't mean a thingj, not a God-damned thing
There's a queen waiting there in a rocking
chair
Just blowing her top on Gaitors beer I9& looking all around and
trucking on down 'Cause I gotta get bacic to my shanty town*
BLOODY GREAT WHEEL (70)
A pilot told me before he died And I don't think the bastard lied
That he had a girl with a cunt so wide That she could never be
satisfied
So he fashioned up a bloody great wheel Two brass balls and a
prick made of steel The two brass balls were filled with cream And
the Whole fucking issue was driven by steam
Round and round went the bloody great wheel In and out went the
prick of steel Until at last that maiden cried Enough, enough, I'm
satisfied
Now we come to the bitter bit There was no way of stopping it She
was split from her ass td her tit jmd the whole fucking issue was
covered * with shit
THOSE WEDDING BELLS ARE BREAKING UP (71)
Hot a soul down on the corner It's a pretty certain sign , -Those
wedding bells are breaking up That old gang of mine
All the boys are singing love songs Theyfve forgot Sweet Adeline
Those wedding bells are breaking up lhat old gang of mine
There goes Jack, there goes Jill Down through lovers lane Now and
then, we meet again But they don ft seem the same
Gee I get that lonesome feeling Khen I hear those church bells
chime Those wedding bells are breaking up That old gang of mine
DQ3DI£-I£B-DQ (72)
Please sing to me that swe^t melociy Called Doodle-lee-doo,
doodle-lee-doo I like the rest, but the part I liiee best Is
doodle-lee*doo, doodle-lee-doo Simplest thing, there Isn't much to
it All you got to do is doodle-lee-doo it I love it so, whereever I
go I doodle-lee-doodle-lee-doo
Two little lovers, under the covers that'll they do,
doodle-lee-doo I would suggest that they shbuld undress and
doodle-lee-doo, doodle-lee-doo Cherries are red, ready for plucking
I'm sixteen and Ifm ready for highschqol I love it so whereever I go
I doodle-lee-doo
Please do to me what you did to Karie Last Saturday night,
Saturday night It must have been real, cause I heard
Marie squeal
last Saturday night, Saturday night » Don't know what, what you
were doing Someone said you were doodle-lee-dooing -I love it so,
whereever I go I doodle-lee-doodle-lee-doo
Miss Emma Snow went out on a show Called doodle-lee-doo,
doodle-lee-doo She made a hit just playing her bit in
doodle-lee-doo, doodle-lee-doo Twenty-four hours, that's all there
was to it How in this world did she doodle-lee-doo it She got a
Rolls Royce, but not by her voice But doodle-lee-doodle-lee-doo
FIGHT.5K PILOTS (73)
Oh there are no fighter pilots down in hell Oh there are no
fighter pilots down in hell Oh that place is full of queers,
navigators, bombardiers
But there are no fighter pilots down in hell
Oh there are no fighter pilots in the states Oh there are no
fighter: pilots in the states They are off on foreign shores, making
mothers
out of whores Oh taere are no fighter pilots in the states
Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan Oh there are no fighter
pilots in Japan *hey are all across the bay, -getting shot *
at every day Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan
Oh there are no fighter pilots in the fray Oh there are no
fighter pilots in the fray They are all in USO's wearing ribbond,
fancy cl#thes
- /
Oh the bomber pilot's life is just a farce Oh the.bobber pilots
life is just a farce The automatic pilot's on,reading novels in
the John Oh the bomber pilot's life is just a farce
Oh the bomber pilot never takes a dare
Oh the bomber pilot never takes a dare
His gyros are uncaged* and his women overaged
Oh the bomber pilot never takes a dare
Oh there are no fighter pilots up in wing Oh there are no fighter
pilot fr. up '-in wing The place is full of brass, sitting round
on their fat ass Oh there are no fighter pilots up in wing
Oh it's naughty naughty naughty but it's nice If you ever do it
once you'll do it twice It'll wreck your reputation, but increase
the population Oh it's naughty naughty naughty, but it's nice.
Oh look at the 328th in the club Oh look at the 368th in the club
They don't party, they won't sing,
355th does everything Oh look at the 388th in the club
>Jhen a bomber jockey walks into our club Tvhen a bomber jockey
walks into our club He don't drink his share of suds, all he
does is flub his did OH TH-PJE AhS KO FIGHTER PIIOTS DOWN IN HELL
KATHUSEIEH (74)
In ancient days there lived a maid VJho used to ply a filthy
trade A prostitute of ill repute The harlot of Jeruselem
Chorus:
Hi Ho Kathuselem the harlot of
Jeruselem Prostitute of ill repute, the daughter
of the Rabbi
Kathuselemfs cunt was round and red For forty years it had not
bled It smelled as though it had been dead Since the founding of
Jeruselem
Now Kathuselem was a wiley witch A god damn fucking son of a
bitch And every pecker that had the itch Had dangled in Kathuselem
Next door there lived a fiant tall His prick of steel could smash
a wall His balls hung down like basketballs The giant of old
^eruselem
One night returning frpiQ a spree A quite consistant jubilee His
balls hung well below his knee "He chanced to cross Kathuselem
And so he challanged her to fuck And wishing her the best of Iuck
He led her to a shady nook And there unfurled his mighty hook
He led her to a shady nook And there unfurled his mighty hook For
forty yards it throbbed and shook The walls of old Je^uselem
This giant of old was underslung He missed her cunt and hit her
bung And with his giant pecker stung The pride of all Jeruselem
Kathuselem she knew her art She cocked her ass and blew a fart
She blew him like a bloody dart Through the walls of old Jeruselem
ACE IN THE HOIE (75)
Oh the world is full of guys, who think
they1 re mighty wise
Just because they know a thing or two
You can see them night and day strolling
up and down broadway
Telling of the things that they can do
Oh there are wise men and there are boozers
Con men and crap shooters, tney all hang
around the Ketropole
Viearing fancy ties and collars, where do
they get those dollars
They all have that ace down in the hole
Some of them write to the old folks, for
coin
that's their old ace in the hole Others have girls on the old
tender-loin That'8 their old ace in the hole They'll tell you of
places that they1 re going to see
From Frisco to the old north pole But tjjtir name would be mud,
like a chump playing stud If they lost that old ace in the hole
TITANIC (76)
^H
Oh* they built the ship Titanic, and when
they had it through
They thought they had a ship, that the
water would never come through
But the lord aliaighty's hand, said the ship k
would never land
It was sad when that great ship went down
Chorus:
Oh it was sad, Oh it was sad It was sad when that great ship
went down
To the bottom of the*. Husbands and Wives, ittie bittie
children lost their lives It was sad when that great ship went
down
T'was on a tuesday morn, they were nearing
England's shore And the rich refused to associate with
the poor So they put the poor below where they
were the first to go It was sad when that great ship went down
They were nearing England's shore and
were heading for the dock /When the old ship Jilanic began to
reel
and rock
*
Oh the captain tried to wire, but the
wire was on fire It was sad when that great ship went down
Then the ship began to list, and the lights
began to flicker And a drunk cried out, my God where is my *
likker So they brought out the bottle and they passed
it all around It was sad when that great ship went down
They swung the lifeboats out, ofer the dark
and stormy sea ■*/ And tie band struck up with Nearer My God
To Thee little children wept and cried as the waves
swept over the side It was sade when that great ship went down
flAMiT SIIAIL (S«£«A. STTlff ) (77)
Oh come 'round us fighter pilots
Fuck fem all
Oh come fround us fighter pilots
Puck "em all,
Oh we fly the Dad Damn plane
Through the flak and through the rain
And tomorrow we'll do it again
So |uck 'em all
Oh they tell us not to think
Fuck 'em all
Oh they tell us not to think
Fuck fem all,
Oh they tell us not to think
Just to dive and just to jink
L.B.J.'s a God Damn fink
So fuck 'em all
Oil we bombed Kugia pass
Fuck'cm all
Oh we bombed Lugia pass
Fuck 'em all
Oh ve bombed Mugia pass
Though we only made one pass
They really stuck it up our ass
So fuck fem all
Oh we're on a J#C»Sf
Puck 'em all
Oh we're on a J.C.S*
Puck 'em all
Oh they sent the whole damn wing 4
Probably half of us will sing
What a silly fucking thing
So fuck'em all.
Oh we lost our fucking way
Puck 'em all
Oh we lost our fucking way
Fuck fem all
Oh we straffed God Damn Hanoi
Killed every fucking girl and boy
What a God Damn fucking joy
So fuck 'em all
Oh my bird fot all shot up
Fuck fem all
Oh my bird got all shot up
Fuck fem all
Oh my bird it did get shot
And I'll probably cry a lot
But I think that it's shit not
So fuck 'em all
While I'm swinging in my chute
fuck feai all -
While I'm swinging in my chute
fuck fem all
VAile Ifm swinging in my chute
Comes this silly fucking toot
And hangs a medal on my root
So fuck 'em all
BATTLE HYKN: (78)
We fly our fucking Thuds at 1O>QQO fucking feet We fly our
fucking Thuds through the rain and
snow and sleet
And though we think we're flying south Wefre flying fucking north
And we make our fucking landfall on the firth
of fucking forth*
Chorus: Glory, Glory Hallelujah. Glory, Glory Hallelujah. Glory,
Glory Hallelujah,! (insert last line of each verse).
We fly those fucking Thuds at fuck all 1,000 feet We fly those
fucking Thuds through the trees and
corn and wheat
And though we think we fly with skill We fly with fucking luck
But we don't give a fucking damn or care a
fucking fuck.
We fly those fucking Thuds at 10,000 fucking feet We fly those
fucking Thids through the rain and
snow and sleet
And thougji we think we're flying up Wefre flying fucking dt>wn
And we bust our fucking asses when we hit the
fucking ground.
THR£g) WHCfiBS FRQfc CANADA JUNCTION: (79)
Three whores walked donw f ran Canada Junc&on
Full of brandy and wine
The topic of conversation was
Your cunts no bigger than mine♦
Chorus: Roly poly tickle my holey Slippery slimey slue Battle
your nuts across my guts I^m one of the irfhorey crew#
X
The first old whore got up and sa44 "-•> My currt^s as big as the
air ft
The birds fly in and the birds fly out And never touch a hair.
,
The second old whore got up and said
My cunt's as big as the moon V
A man wetit in in January
And didn't come out till June.
4
NO BALLS AT ALL:(80)
*
There once was a girl named Sara McFox With hair on her chest and
cheese in he box She married a man named Patrick McCall With a very
short peter and no balls at all.
Chorus} No balls at all No balls at all A very short peter and no
balls at all.
The very first night that they were wed
they took off their clothes and went straight
to bed
She reached for his pecker, it was very small She reached for his
balls, he had no balls at
all
Now mother dear mother oh what shall I do?
I've married a man who never can screw
I reached for his pecker, it was very small
I reached for his balls, he had no balls at all
Oh daughter dear daughter don't be sad It was the same trouble I
had with your dad There fs many a man who will come to the call * 6f
the wife of a man who has no balls at all
The daughter went home, took her mother's advice And found the
results most exceedingly nice A bouncing young baby was born in the
fall To the wife of the man who had no balls at all.
SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME: (81)
Show me the way to go home,dear Lord I'm tired and I want to go
to bed Well, I had a little drink about an hour ago And it went
right to my head Whereever I may roam O'er land or sea or foam You
will always hear me singing this song Show me the way to go home.
MARY ANNE BURNS: (82)
Mary Anne Burns is the queen of all the acrobats She can do
tricks that would give a man the shits She can roll green peas off
her fundamental orifice Do a double flip and catch then on her tits
She's a great big Sorofabitch, twice as big as me Hairs 'round
her ass like branches on a tree She can swim, fish, fight, fuck, fly
a plane,
drive a truck Mary Anne Burns is the girl for me.
AIR FORCE SONG: (83)
Off we go, into the wild blue yonder
Climbing high, into the sun
Here they come zooming to meet our thunder
At'em boys, give her the gun.
Down we dive? spouting our flame from under,
Off with one hell of a roar,
We live in fame, or go down in flame,
Nothing can stop the U.S. Air Force.
Here's a toast to the host of those who boast
the vastness of the sky. To a friend we send a message of His
brother men who fly, We drink to those who gave their all of old As
down we roar to score the rainbow's pot
of gold Here's a toast to the host of those who boast
the U.S. Air Force.