First published by Boozy Company, Melbourne, 1962
Sun Books edition, Melbourne, 1973.
This edition published by arrangement with
Sun Books.
Copyright © Sebastian Hogbotel and Simon ffuckes
1962, 1973, 1975.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,
including photocopying, recording or by any information storage
and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Publisher.
The Boozy Company MCMLXII
P.O.Box 20561
Causeway Bay, HONG KONG
CONTENTS
The Editors' Foreword to the 1973 Edition .....i
Introduction to the 1962 Edition.............v
Acknowledgments ........................ix
Footnote................................ x
Index of Titles............................xi
Songs................................... 1
Recitations ..............................93
Limericks.............................131
Toasts.................................141
Envoi .................................145
Index of First Lines.......................147
INDEX OF TITLES
SONGS
Abdul A-Bulbul Emir.....................................58
Alice Blue Gown........................................ 5
All the Nice Girls........................................13
Anthony Claire.........................................52
Arsehole Charcoal • •......................................14
Arseholes are Cheap Today.................................29
Ball at Kirriemuir, The...................................2 5
Ballad of Dan Homer, The................................. 6
Ballad of King Faruk and Queen Farida, The.................. . 80
Ballad of Professor John Glaister, The........................84
Bastard King of England, The ..............................23
Bob Menzies' Balls.......................................60
Brian Boru.............................................49
Cats on the Rooftops •....................................65
Chandler's Shop, The.....................................10
Cowpunchers' Whore, The.................................72
Craven A..............................................29
Derby Ram, The........................................5 3
Dinky Die.............................................35
Down to her Knees......................................46
Drip, Drip, Drip.........................................38
Dying Harlot, The.......................................62
Dying Harlot, The.......................................63
Fascinating Bitch . .......................................34
Father O'Flynn.........................................32
Father's Grave..........................................88
Finest Family, The ......................................50
Five Old Ladies, The..................................... 32
Fragment..............................................44*
From the Whores of Montezuma............................61
Good Ship Venus, The....................................86
Harlot of Jerusalem, The..................................57
Heigh Ho Says Rowley....................................54
I Don't Want to Join the Army.............................18
It's Time the Poor Bastard was Dead.........................78
Jean Baptiste...........................................60
Kings Cross Harlot's Ball, The..............................43
Latrine Song............................................48
Lay of the Three Prominent Bastards, The.....................76
Life Presents a Dismal Picture ...........,.................. 8
Lilian.................................................44
Lulu............................■......................91
Lovers' Alphabet........................................55
Maggie May............................................89
Marriage a La Mode......................................61
Mobile................................................39
Monk of Priory Hall, The..................................36
More Vulgar Mind, A.....................................33
My Grandfather's Cock...................................17
xi
New People's Flag, The...................................74
Nightwatchman Blinded by Shit, The • •......................70
No Balls at All..........................................12
Ollie, Ollie, Ollie........................................88
On Top of Old Sophie....................................62
O'Reilly's Daughter......................................31
Our Goodman..........................................69
Penfriends.............................................71
Please Don't Burn our Shithouse Down.......................65
Poor Blind Nell.........................................2 2
Poor Little Angeline.....................................20
Pub with no Beer, The....................................83
Pull me Dungarees Down..................................41
Railway Blues..........................................47
Rajah of Astrakan, The...................................16
Ringadangdoo, The...................................... 4
Road to Gundagai, The...................................7 5
Roll me Over in the Clover.................................64
Salome................................................14
Sam..................................................39
Sammy Hall............................................73
Sergeant Boon..........................................37
Sir Jasper..............................................88
She was Poor but She was Honest...........................92
Sixpence • •............................................19
Soldier Told Me, A ......................................35
Sweet Violets........................................... 5
Tender Memory, A.......................................28
Three Farmers' Daughters.................................18
Three Old Whores From Winnipeg . . . ........................ 28
Tinker, The............................................51
Tit Bits................................................ 3
Twelve Lays of Christmas, The.............................11
Vincent Van Gogh.......................................10
Wanchai Anthem........................................34
RECITATIONS
Bastard from the Bush, The................................107
Bricklayers' Union, The.................................i 114
Bride's Letter, The......................................117
Dangerous Place, A. . ....................................114
Fskimo Nell............................................95
Fragment.............................................J .1 5
Goddam Isles, The......................................105
Manley Beach..........................................12 9
Old Maid, The.........................................103
Oysters is Amorous......................................110
Poem of Thanksgiving...................................129
Portions of the Female, The...............................115
Regularity............................................111
Shearer's Lament, The...................................112
Sister Anna...........................................128
Street of a Thousand Arseholes, The . . ,,.....................1 04
Table Manners.........................................102
Walrus and the Carpenter.................................130
xii
INDEX OF FIRST LINES
SONGS
A boy went into a chandler's shop ........................ 10
A is for arsehole, all covered in shit ........................ 54
A is the awful word he uses ........................ 55
A dirty old harlot lay dying............................... 63
A soldier told me before he died........................... 35
All the nice girls like a candle.............................. 13
Arseholes are cheap today................................ 29
As I stood by O'Reilly's fire.............................. 31
Down in old London a harlot did dwell...................... 70
For forty-old years I've been buggered....................... 78
From the whores of Montezuma........................... 61
He went up to London and straightaway strode............... 35
Hear us sing of Sergeant Boon............................. 37
I am an autocratic figure in these democratic days ............. 76
I dreamed that I tickled my grandfather's balls................ 28
I once knew a girl, her name was Jean....................... 5
I could tell that you were pushin'.......................... 71
I was up to my whtekers in mud, sir.................... ... 49
I wish I were a fascinating bitch........................... 34
If ye're ever down in London. . ............................ 50
In ancient times there lived a maid. ......................... 57
In my,sweet little Alice blue gown.......................... 5
It was the good ship Venus............................... 86
It's a bastard away from a woman and all.................... 83
Life presents a dismal picture ............................. 8
Lil was a girl, she was a beauty............................. 44
Monday I touched her on the ankle......................... 18
My brother went into the woodshed........................ 5
My grandfather's cock was too long for his pants .............. 17
My husband's a butcher, a butcher.......................... 61
My job is to clean an army latrine.......................... 48
My name is Sammy Hall, Sammy Hall....................... 73
My sister Elizabeth has gonorrhoea and syphilis ............... 46
Now all you young maidens just listen to me................. . 12
Now, down our street we had a crashing party................ 14
Now gather round you fellows and if you'll be still............. 29
Now the harems of Egypt are fair to behold.................. 58
O, a strapping young harlot lay dying........................ 62
O come along all you good sailor boys and listen to my plea...... 89
O Father O'Flynn has the pox and the gleat.................. 32
'O Jean Baptiste pourquoi?.............................. 60
O the parson is perverted in Mobile......................... 39
Och, I am a marvel of medical jur.......................... 84
Oh dear, what can the matter be........................... 32
Oh I would like a baby by you ............................ 44
Oh, me name is Dan Homer, I'm as blind as the Jews ........... 6
Oh Sir Jasper, do not touch me . . . .'....................... 8
Oh this is number one, and the fun has just begun.............. 64
Oh we're all black bastards, but we do love our King............ 80
Ollie, Ollie, OUie....................................... 88
On the twelfth day of Christmas........................... 11
On top of old Sophie, all covered in sweat.................... 62
Passengers will please refrain.............................. 47
Please don't burn our shithouse down....................... 65
Pull me dungarees down, sport ............................ 41
Sam, Sam, lavatory man.................................. 39
She was only a fishmonger's daughter....................... 33
She was poor but she was honest ........................... 92
She was sweet sixteen and the village queen................... 20
She's a map of Hong Kong tattoed round her si fat............. 34
Sing a song of sixpence, a penis full of pus................... 19
Some die of diabetes.................................... 38
Some girls work in factories .............................. 91
Ten tom-cats by the fireside sat............................. 14
The African mule is a bit of a joke.......................... 65
The ball, the ball, the ball, the ball.......................... 25
, The balls of Bob Menzies................................. 60
The dirty old harlot lay dying............................. 63
The first night of my return .............................. 69
The lady of the manor was a-dressing for a ball................ 51
The minstrels sing of a bastard King........................ 23
The people who count, they all went to Rue Mount............ 3
The people's flag is not what you think...................... 74
The sun shone on the village green......................... 22
There was a man called Anthony Claire...................... 52
There was a monk of Priory Hall .......................... 36
There was a Rajah of Astrakan, Yo Ho!. - .................... 16
There was a ram of Derbyshire ............................ 5 3
There were three farmers' daughters........................ 18
There's a crack winding back............................. 75
They're diggin' up Father's grave to build a sewer.............. 88
Three old whores from Winnipeg........................... 28
Way down in Alberta where the bullshit grows thick............ 72
Weil, down in Aries, boys, Vincent and I..................... 10
Well I fucked in Cuba and I fucked in Spain.................. 43
RECITATIONS
An old maid sat by the fire...............................103
As the night was falling slowly over city, town and bush.........107
'Bring me a boy........................................114
Dear Bella.............................................117
Gay go the condoms on the ebbing tide............,..........129
I was shearing outback on a wayside track............ . .......112
If forty whores in silken drawers ........................130
In the street of a Thousand Arseholes.......................104
Oysters is amorous, lobsters is lecherous.....................110
Saint Francis lived in the odour of sanctity...................129
Sister Anna will carry the banner......'.....................128
The gong had been sounded for breakfast....................102
The portions of a woman.................................115
'Twas just across the border........................114
Uncle George and Auntie Mabel .......................Ill
We were five days out from Liverpool.......................105
When men grow old and their balls get cold................... 95
When the bricklayers' union struck.........................114
The Editors welcome comments and additional
, material for future editions.
Please send to Boozy Company MCMLXII,
P.O. Box 20561, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong.
HKS20 (US$4) Post Free,