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A Private and Personal Collection
Limited Edition
For the hell of it
re s s tvt c d F°r Laush*and
"Fer Fun"
To ..... ..'•.■'............................................
One who can take the finer things of life in stride. As one
philosopher said, "He who loves not wine9 women and song re-
mains a fool Ms whole life long."
V
Volume II C&py No*
Being
a private collection of favorite lyrics gleaned from
the pubs, bistros, Sake dispensaries, dives, gin mills, pup tents,
ward rooms, and post exchanges frequented by soldiers, sailors,
and airmen during the late and continuing unpleasantness.
Privately printed and distributed. All rights and
publication privileges reserved by the editors.
IWJSmTBD By...
J*
7 A I
lOr\ W&
PUBLISHED BY THE DRUNKEN PRESS
INTUPPUCWN...
Volume I, Copy 1, of "The Three Hats" was off the press
before we discovered we had left out a few songs. And that
ain*t all.
Volume I, Copy 1, was no sooner off the press than the in-
dignant bleats of our friends and critics pointed out other ver-
sions of various songs were the true versions and the ones we had
gleaned were the out-pourings of some mental midget who
couldnft hold his or her Old Crow long enough to remember the
right words.
Another school demanded the music, claiming they could
not remember the tunes without a piano assist This was rebut-
ted by those who claimed they had trouble seeing the book on oc-
casion, let alone music, so what the hell difference did it make.
Some said they liked it.
To all of this we listened and teamed (and took another
drink). So, well fortified against the attacks of Army-Navy-Air
Force songsters, we fork up Volume Number II, Copy Number I,
from our growing collection.
We would like to pay tribute and list the names of those
faithful collectors of lyrical lust who have kept our editorial cof-
fers filled, but one such kind contributor protested violently that
he already had one blackmail suit on his hands and to keep his
name the hell out of it.
So here it is in all its glorious infamy. Volume II.
BUSTLE
(Tune "Old Grey Bonnet")
Put on your old Grey Bustle,
The one in which you hustle,
For tomorrow the rent is coming due.
Hide your fanny in the clover,
Let the boys look it over,
If you can't get Five—Take Two,
Put on your old Grey Bustle,
Let your fanny make it rustle,
If we don't get the dough, we're
Like the bees make honey,
Let your fanny make the money,
If you can't get Five—Take Two.
V-,S^
HMt
W£ J1CP0HA SALT MINES
(Tune: "The Grandfather's Clock")
I'm coming home to you, my love,
A figure bent and gray;
They've let me out from the salt mines, love,
It's twenty-odd years and a day*
I've a story sad to tell, love,
It's a thing I hate to say,
But there's no lead left in my pencil, love,
And my tool has shriveled away.
They told me I was going out, love,
To fight for our family small,
But the bastards kept me there so long,
There'll be no family at all.
r
I've watched the long years pass, love,
And I've waited in my turn,
But whenever I sent my leave chit up,
They simply marked it "To Burn."
I'm coming back to you, love,
A figure bent and gray,
They've let me out of Jigpoha, love,
It's twenty-odd years and a day.
li
v->
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a
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\ ... *. * ' x
*J%F
Now look, my proud beauty, I think it's my duty
To tell you this stalemate can't last
My liberty's fleeting, and I'm overheating,
My blood pressure's rising, but fast.
I've subsidized taxis from Reuben's to Maxie's,
I've escorted you 'round the bars.
I've relived my sorties white flying P-40's,
I've shown you my ribbons and scars.
Your curvaceous chassis entices me, lassie,
So let's not encumber the plot
With doubtful evasion, and subtle equations.
Are we goin'to bed—or NOT?
TU Student
(Tune:
"Those West Virginia Hills")
Down South in Alabama, where Maxwell Field is laid,
There came a student hold to learn how war is played.
He brought his lovin' wife, who used to make him glow;
But each night at Maxwell Field, to study he would go.
(CHORUS)
And he stayed up in his study, he stayed up in his study,
And he stayed up in his study, all night long.
And he didn't even weaken, give her what she was seekin9,
She was pure as a student's wife should be.
He knew the Humphrey Scale, and where was General A.
He learned about Attack—and when to stay away.
He learned about Artillery—how to"Fire-when-ready-Sir!"
He played with Infantry—but he never played with her!
(CHORUS)
Away up in his study, away up in his study,
Away up in his study all night long.
And in spite of her ambition, she wasted ammunition,
She was pure as a student's wife should be.
4
Now there was a Cavalry Officer who taught him how to ride,
All the horsey tactics the Cavalry had tried.
So she studied equitation to develop her technique,
But when she'd horse around, to the study he would sneak.
And he stayed up in his study, he stayed up in the study,
He stayed up in the study all night long.
When she'd whinny, he'd say "Neigh," and a virgin she
did stay,
Just as pure as a student's wife should be.
Logistics and its movements sorta got into his hair,
He never moved a thing from out his study chair.
He could transfer his supplies, and even navigate,
But he had a local fog when she would palpitate.
And he'd stay up in his study, he'd stay up in his study,
He'd stay up in his study all night long.
And in spite of all her urgin', she still remained a virgin,
Just as pure as a student's wife should be.
He got himself some S's, some U's, an Excellent,
He had no use for her, so she went pleasure bent.
She found a nifty golf course, she danced and flirted too,
She had herself some fun with You and You and You.
While he stayed up in his study, he stayed up in his study,
He stayed up in his study—so you see
Tho' she was a sassy lassie, she had a virgin chassis,
Just as pure as a student's wife should be.
Now they're going to Leavenworth, to a stretch at Leavenworth,
And she knows that she can take it mighty swell;
She can play her bridge and rummy,
And remain a lovely dummy,
And the sad and sexy life can go to Hell!
5
1MN TO A MA TINEE
(Tune:
"Praise The Lord and Pass the Ammunition* )
Praise the Lord? she gave me her permission,
Praise the Lord, now look at her condition,
Praise the Lord, I knew the right position
And she ieil for me,
All aboard, we're on a mighty mission,
Can't afford to pay a high commission,
Listen, kid, you're not a'going fishing,
When you yacht with me.
The actor said it, you've got to give him credit,
For a son-of-a-gunner was he, shouting:
Praise the Lord, no time for indecision,
^\ I'm too old to wait around a'wishing,
Praise the Lord, I have a slight suspicion
Thai I'll go free.
DOWN THE LINE
First you ring the bell and you ask for Anna,
Then you put a nickel in the goddam pianna,
Anna comes down in a Japanese kimono,
All fixed up with perfume and cologne—O.
Then you pay two dollars for a lousy bottle of beer,
Then you pay two dollars for a couple of weeks of fear,
Down the line, down the line.
LADY
JANE
When Lady Jane became a tart
It nearly broke the family's heart.
But blood is blood
And race is race
And so to save the family's face
They bought her a most exclusive beat
On the sunny side of Jermyn Street.
J?}oi£(*/<l
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(Tune: Verse of "Christofo Columbo")
Oh, the sailor looked and looked and looked,
For Geishas and for sake,
And almost gave up looking, when
He came to Nagasaki.
The sailor man he paid five yen,
And picked himself a lady.
Her hair looked like a wild bees$ hive,
And her name sounded like Sadie.
They ate their rice, they ate their fish,
And then they drank their sake,
And after fifteen bottoms up,
The sailor man got cocky.
The slant-eyed maid, she knew her trade,
And ordered lots of liquor.
The sailor man was sinking fast,
His tongue got thick and thicker.
He tried to sing, he tried to talk,
And then he tried to love her,
But all that he could ever do,
Was treat her like a brother.
8
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iliivi
N**t# little Nellie* m& mm Ami eheeted,
Sim 'g'md m® kreaMt* ike eyes ta pirate,
They-gave *e* m d^m ^f Lydiafs eempnmnd
And m®w tkey^re fmmgimg het^m P€t knees*
fCHORUS)
OhP well drink m drink, m drink*
T& Lydia Pink* $ pink m pink$
The mm&mt of the 'vwrs&n ryee*
She invented mm *&n&rable compound?
Aitd the paper* pubthh her fate*
Maw little Nellie f %ke used to like it,
She used to like it ten1 times*& days
They gn&m Vr 0 duee of Lydia's tmmpomnd
An J now if y&u **&»**< it* you *aue to poy*
(REPEAT CHORUS)
TIM O'BRIEN'S SONG
(Tmmei "WReillfs Daughter9")
Tim O'Brien is my nmmeP
Drinking gim my occupation,
Shaggin9 dame* my claim to fame,
Jesus Christ is my salvation.
(CHORUS)
Tiddley ay ay$ iiddiey ay oh,
Tiddley ay my the ©me-eyed Reilly,
Rig™a°»]ig«jig$ balls and all,
Rub-a-dub-dub, shag om»
Seated by the fireside
I was drinking gim and water,
Suddenly it came to mind
i9d like to shag old Reilly^s daughter*
(REPEAT CHORUS AT WILL)
Up the slain amd into bed,
Suddenly I thro m$ left leg over,
Nary a word the maiden &aid$
Laughed like hell till the fun was over.
Down the stairs amd in the street,
Who should I meet hmi the one-eyed Reitty,
Brace of pistols at his §ideM
Looking for the mmm who shagged his daughter,
Grabbed old Reilly by ike neck
Simek his head in a pail of water,
Jammed those pistols Mp his a$s
A dam sight harder than I shagged his daughter*
10
YOU CAN EASILY TELL
You can easily tell she's not my mother,
'Cause my mother's only 49.
You can easily tell she's not my sister,
'Cause I'd never show my sister such a wonderful time.
You can easily tell she's not my sweetie,
'Cause my sweetie is too refined.
She's a good little kid who likes a good time,
She's just a personal friend of mine,
You heard me say it!
Just a personal friend of mine.
THE
STRAWBERRY BLONDE
Oh, Casey would sleep with the strawberry blonde
And the years passed on.
They slept through the Winters and Summers and Springs
And the years passed on.
Oh, Casey thought marriage and pushing a carriage
Was more than he wanted to pay,
Since he had the milk without buying the cow
As the years passed on.
11
cyi/C
(Tune: "Isle of Capri")
Was on the Rue Raffenel that I met her7
She was French and her name was Fifi,
She whispered softly so no one could hear her
"Would you like to come upstairs with me"?
i
I had to
wait for twenty minutes,
Before I reached her room above,
Then I proceeded to indulge in
Thirty francs worth of legalized love.
I must admit she was very attractive,
And I was a little drunk too;
So I slipped thirty francs in her pocket,
And took my place at the end of thet queue.
I
ST^tfOft?/
But when
I woke on the following morning,
I was worried as worried could be
That for the sake of a few minutes pleasure,
Something dreadful would happen to me.
Now I have finished with my little story,
There is a moral that Vd like to tell:
If you should get any leave into Dakar,
Stay away from the Rue Raffenel.
?£<?,E=i
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12
WIATE
' tX
Violate
me, in violet time,)
/n the vilest way that you know.
Brutally ravish me, rudely and savagely,
,0n me no mercy bestow.
To the guy that is gentle and kind I'm oblivious,
-^r Give me a guy what is lewd and lascivious,
j ^Violate me, in violet time
[V/ In the vilpst way that you know.
/
hear ya knockin' but ya can't come in (Ave knocks in ragtime)
Vm in my nightie, and it's awful thin (five more knocks)
I want ya, baby, but it'd be a sin ...
Aw, quit cha knockin', baby, come on in!
Th
<2
/
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Here's to the happy bounding flea,
You can hardly tell the "he" from the "she"
The difference is so small, you see,
BUT—he can tell, and so can she!
THE SAILOR'S RETURN
(Tune: "Our Gude Man9')
Home came the sailor, home from the sea,
And there in the stable a strange horse did see.
"O wife, now tell me what can this mean,
"A strange brown horse where my mare should have been?"
"You old fool, you danged fool, you son-of-a-gun," said she,
"It's nothing but a milk cow my mother sent to me."
"Miles have I sailed, five thousand or more,
"But a cow without an udder I never saw before/9
Home came the sailor, home from the sea,
And there in the parlor a strange coat saw he.
"O wife, now tell me what can this mean,
"A coat that's not mine where my coat should have been?"
"You old fool, you danged fool, you son-of-a-gun," said she,
"It's nothing but a blanket my mother sent to me."
"Miles have I sailed, five thousand or more,
"But buttons on a blanket I never saw before."
Home came the sailor, home from the sea,
And there in his bed a strange face did see.
"O wife, now tell me what does this mean,
"Another man's head where my own should have been?"
"You old fool, you danged fool, you son-of-a-gun," said she,
"It's nothing but a cabbage head my mother sent to me"
"Miles have I sailed, five thousand or more,
"But whiskers on a cabbage head I never saw before."
JLO
(Tune: "Willy The Weeper")
Her mime was Lii, she was a -beauty,
She Iwed in a house of ill repate*y. I
■The gentlemen came for mites to see,
Lillian in her deshabille* ' :
Oh% she %$&& imM ami she was fair,
Ami $ke hmd golden, pubic hair, ■
But she was fond oh Demon Rum?
And ate ha&heesh mna op*i-um*
The days went by and Lil got thinner^
Becmmm of the lack &f protein in herr ,
Until her figure got #0 bad,
She had to go 'round completely clad,
Nbw you mntr kricu? _LWs. clientele
Rested'mainly on her belly f
Pot it wm hot mmd calorific,
And heaved high as the whole Pacific*
She went to see the house physician
For her -unfortunate condition.
Sat ike only ihimg the Doe mould says
**Per»ni~ci~ous A~ne~mi»aP*
'mo
,t&
/
HATE ROMANCE
I hate romance, when I think of the chance
That I missed in Honolu9.
I scanned the beach, and there stood a peach,
She was doin' the Hula-Hu\
It was plain to see she was flirtin' with
And my heart was full of hope.
But how could I show Vm a Romeo—
Through a rusty old periscope?
"^&r
OH, PROMISE ME
Oh, promise me that when I call again
You'll have your family all in bed by ten.
The sounds that issue from the floor above
Are not conducive to the acts of love.
I never loved your sister Jane,
Your brother Bill gives me an awful pain.
Oh, bury them all and send the bill to me,
Oh, promise me, Oh, promise me.
17
(Times "My'Home in Tennessee90')
Qh, coris and aee ike tattooed lady,
Ske^s tattooed down as far you can see.
All an? aaid daw a her spine
1$ the British fs«ng line,
And right between her hips
Sails a Meei of battleships*
And on her kidney is a mew of Sydney,
And or& her liver Hows ike Congo River,
But the place that I like be$i
h the tattooed lady's chest—
OhP let me lay my head on the hills of Tennessee!
18
&T1G yrisi ^C'*' <tlrdi ail s^ut^er,
But
yt,tif ^y€fi aziit ioher-2 he^s looking
—**z?>y—H&%$ a Wolf.
Then k? ^jijs Ik^r you'rz an eyeful,
Bui /b> Atriv^ h^gki to trifle,
And hit y, -**z~: p\ur^pi: Eke a rifle,
— i^
F/Vs ct Wj//.
^l?r;^ *;^y-
- ^nc • y<£& erre kissim9
cl hfa 'isarl c-snissin9
v *i -h:;: -?i* ^u?i I listen,
„7 >^ ^r~^j u'^ vh'Qttg ai smew,
-tp.c"/ .<x~ ^r.s "?te gypsy in you,
S«> 7u/£ ! .-i '/ww 4jV* el-sse against you,
~^a*v- -YOU'RE a Wo//.
| i/ i c; | -s <• ^./";; A-J ir*fe* fe muffle, |
| -y^?,y , | -<■• ;V'.6S^^; |
| " ft J 2 | V- ; . "* %i n>an?a ?** shuffle, |
| — " \ '>y - ~v:T*3 »J ^ fr s//8 | |
| ,"5 '' ^ | - "-:-\. .**, .-7**2 w*r& £€&/, |
| ^ % *""c J" , | ' - /^' /a ^ «'c' ^ 3h^eit |
| ^\,«.6 » " | |
| — - '^i —-rC'i^i?.? o Wo//, |
£
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11th AIRBORNE SONG
I got a gal in old Sendai,
She is slightly slant of eye.
She's a honey cart aristocrat,
How she loves to hit that mat.
I got friend in Yamagata,
Went and sold his pretty daughter.
Now she's making muto yen
Catering to the parachute men.
\,
/ got gal in Shiogama,
She don't know no English grammar,
What she lack in conversation
She make up in copulation.
1 got girl in Duriyea,
She come see me every day.
She don't pay no street car fare
'Cause she know the conductaire.
20
Now gather 'round me, fellows, and line up in a row,
I'll tell you all the policies of dear old Uncle Joe,
Of dear old Uncle Joe, of dear old Uncle Joe,
I'll tell you all the policies of dear old Uncle Joe,
With geishas you will not consort,
To tea-houses you'll not go,
The bachelors all must sleep alone,
By order of Uncle Joe.
By order of Uncle Joe, by order of Uncle Joe,
The bachelors all must sleep alone,
By order of Uncle Joe.
21
LUE -BOO/f^
I'm only a sterilized heiress,
A butt for the laughter of rubes;
I'm comely and rich, but a venomous bitch,
My mother ran off with my tubes.
Imagine my stark consternation,
On feeling a surgeon's rude hands
Exploring my person (page Aimee McPherson)
And rudely snatching my glands.
Oh, fie on you medical monsters,
Come back with my feminine toys,
Restore my abdomen, make me a woman,
I want to go out with the boys.
The butler and second man snub me,
No more will they use my door key;
Our cook from Samoa has spermatazoa
For others—but never for me.
What ruling in court can repay me
For losing my peas in the pod?
My fecundity's turned to morbundity,
Like Pickford I'll have to try God.
Oh, fie on the courts and the customs;
I want my two bubbles of jest.
Restore the hot flashes and menopause rashes
And let me feel weight on my chest.
22
Now
I've had lots of trouble meeting Mary;
Mary's ma and pa don't care for me.
So just to save a fight
And make everything all right
Vll meet my Mary by the zoo, you see.
Monday I'll have Mary by the camels,
That's the place where Mary ought to be,
Tuesday by the bears,
And Wednesday by the hares,
And Thursday by the deer, my dear, you see.
On Friday I'll have Mary by the donkeys,
That's the time when I'll have Mary by the----
AS YOU DESIRE IT.
That's the time when I'll have Mary by the —
ZAZZ-U-ZAZZ. Q
O^
23
Once
therms was & suH&x vcho h^J lOpOO tvkmsi/^H f
Who had to #*fl fcwa» <ttori#*y otherwise the$*d las* ikeir lives*
And ikm fir it w:(e itdd he* 5?de:
Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom,. Boom, Boom, 3&i$mf Boom * .
Omee ihmm mere two dancing girls who w&nt around in gamm9
And when they meni to c&bar&ls, they wore enormous drawers*
The Chief of Police attested the*** for showing i€»o muck zeal;
Me didn$t mind ik*§ apm?° ds*k but k# couldn't ^iamd ihm kemL
Ai! Yml YS! Ym* AmJ tK> mtxi wii* laid her tale:
Beort* Boom, Boc&k &%**.>&* ??*j^*r*5 Bi>om> Boom9 B&o$m • *
Abdullah had 0 htite ga^f he iuiJ^d i&r a cometp
jrl#e didm^i like its c:olr*r, *t? f«e d>^h*?d ?# u?Uh enam#L
Tkm $tsm was burning ?W i^af #;; across the b+oad Sahara9
And now he ecn*t g&i .t*i? becim**- h+t%* stack by his Tarrarrah-
24
(Tune: "Pappy Turned The Picture to the Wall")
In the hills of West Virginny, lived a gal named Nancy Brown.
You've never seen such beauty, in city or in town.
Nancy and the Deacon went on the mount one day
And when they reached the summit—it all came out this way:
(CHORUS)
She came rollin' down the mountain—rollin' down the mountain,
Rollin' down the mountain—mighty wise
For she didn't give the Deacon that air thing he was a'seekin'
And her heart's as pure as West Virginny's skies.
There came a lonesome cowboy, a cowboy with a song,
Took our Nancy on the mountain—but she still knew right
from wrong.
(CHORUS)
She came rollin' down the mountain, rollin' down the mountain,
Rollin' down the mountain—by the shack;
For despite that cowboy's urgin'-—she remained the local virgin
And her heart's as pure as Puppy's applejack.
There came a city slicker, with one hundred dollar bills,
Took Nancy in his Packard—way up in them thar hills:
(CHORUS)
O she stayed up in the mountains, stayed up in the mountains,
She stayed up in the mountains all the night;
She returned next mornin' early—more a woman than a girlie
And her Pappy kicked the hussy out of sight.
(REQUIEM)
Now she's livin' in the city—livin' in the city,
Livin' in the city—mighty swell.
No more washin' pots and skillets—for she's eatin' fancy vittles
And those West Virginny Hills can go to Hell.
25
Banish the use of the four letter words
Whose meanings are never obscure.
The Anglos and Saxons, those bawdy old bards
Were vulgar, obscene and impure.
But cherish the use of the weaseling phrases
That never quite say what you mean,
You'd better be known for your hypocrite way
Than as vulgar, impure and obscene.
When nature is calling, plain speaking is out,
When ladies, God bless them, are milling about,
You may wee-wee, make water, or empty the glass,
You can powder your nose, even "Johnnie" may pass
Shake the dew off the lily, see the man 'bout a dog,
When everyone is soused, it's condensing the fog.
A woman has a bosom, a bust, or a breast,
Those lily white swellings that swell 'neath her vest.
They are towers of ivory, or sheaves of new wheat;
In a moment of passion, ripe apples to eat.
You may speak of her nipples as fingers of fire
With hardly a question of raising her ire.
f flllfflfl
■■■■■
u
So banish the words that Elizabeth used,
When she was queen on her throne.
The modern maid's virtue is easily bruised
By the four letter words all alone.
Let your morals be loose as an alderman's vest,
If your language is always obscure.
Today, not the act, but the word is the test
Of the vulgar, obscene and obscure.
S»MA
BUST
SlZiS
MTO 38
NO PADS!
IUUE. BtA«
LETS SMf
£ 27
n
L)
£i^r
Old soldiers never die, never die, neve? die}
" /^ >' <s Old soldiers never die—
- —* ^<T /^. ^L 'JL. ^ i ney /as* racre away.
V
jx, "c^T ~«fr'^4* ^ ^M^'^ sai'or* never buy, never buy, never buy,
y'' j /' / ' ^'^ sailors never buy—
F^'"isT..> jb^ * Theyimtsailaway'
'•■■" / / / / /
-.,.. y — _ ->~z ^~. n /—,,n OW pz'/ofs newer fly, newer fly, newer fly,
X X X,. j£./5f OW p&te newer fly-
TAey /ast c/raa; their pay.
30
=3
m
m
m
THE FORMATION LEADER
Here's a health to the formation leader,
A jolly good fellow is he,
He uses three-star* navigation
And flies on Bacardi.
Here's a health to the leader's two* wing-men,
To the gunner within his turelle,
Here's a health to the whole damn formation,
We'll fly, reviews in hell.
31
STAND TO YOUR GLASSES STEADY
We Mimmd *aemih remanding rafters,
The wall* all around mre hareg
They meh® back &mr laughter,
Seems that the dead mre mil there,
(CHORUS)
Stand-to your glasses steady,
Thin world i* a world ®f Um$
Here$$ m health to the dead already?
Hurrah far the next m&m to die*
Denied by the land ihai bore ms,
Betrayed by the &me& we held dear,
The good have mi g®m before us,
And %»miy the dull are Mill here,
(REPEAT CHORUS AT WtLL~?OOR WILL)
We loop in ihm purple twilight,
We spin in the silver dawn,
With m trail of &m&km behind usr
To show where omr comrades have gone*
In flaming Spad and C^melp
With wings iff wood and steel,
For mattid-stake* we gamble,
With eards that mem stacked for the deal*
32
THE OLD B@MMRDMENT GROUP
Fill thai barrel up$ mepU drink m loving cup
To bombers one by. Me*
Brown year -sorrow mmd iorgmt tomorrow,
For tomorrow never'comes.
Here*B a health to Anti-Aircraft*
Here's a bumper to Pursuit—God help them}
Join m mil of yomP well drink a barrel to • . •
THE OLD BOMBARDMENT GROUP,
33
THE.
ft sort?
(Tune: "Stars and Stripes Forever")
Be kind to your web-footed friends,
For a duck may he somebody's mother.
Be kind to the denizens of the swamp,
For they will never do you wrong*
Be kind to the moose and the elk,
And a skunk may be a sister or brother
And if you ever goose a snake,
I hope to hell you never live to goose another
ERSION)
web-footed friends,
^mtTduck looks just like another.
beasts of the swamp,
cause nothing but alarm.
peak of the Moose and the Elk,
{All that they ever do is hold conventions.
nd rather than ever goose a snake,
\jknow that I would rather goose my dear old
mu-u-u-ther.
I'VE
ONLY BEEN DOWN TO THE CLUB
Last night I was out rather late}
It was only an innocent spree.
My wife for my coming did wait
When sleeping I thought she would be.
My hoots I left down in the hall
And softly I crept up the stairs?
I kept rather close to the wall,
And thought to ascend unaware*
But just as I got to the door,
I seemed to get lost in the dark}
I stumbled and fell to the floor,
Just then I could only remark:
(CHORUS)
The club had a meeting tonight, love,
Of 'business We had a great sight, love?
Bon$t think for a moment Vm tight,
I've only been down to the club*
I fommd her in temper and tears,
She cried it's a sin and a shame*
She scratched both my eyes an
Just then I could qnly explain*
She sobbed, she wept and she screai
^She said she*d go back to her Ma;
While I on the mantel-piece lei
And tried to enjoy my cigar*
Hold her Pd buy her a dress,
If shepd leave me alone for awhile;
I gam her a sweet little kiss
Then 1 saw her beginning to smile*
35
A
gilded mirror, a polished bar,
A million glasses, straws in a jar,
A courteous young man, all dressed in white,
Are my recollections of last night!
The streets were dirty and far too long,
Gutters sloppy and policemen strong,
The slamming of doors in a sea-going hack;
That's my recollection of getting back!
The stairs were narrow and hard to climb,
I rested often for I'd lots of time,
An awkward keyhole, a misplaced chair,
Told the folks plainly I was there!
A heated interior, a wobbly bed,
A sea-sick man with an aching head,
Whiskey, beer, gin, booze galore,
Were introduced to the cuspidor!
And with morning came bags of ice
So. very necessary in this life of vice;
And when I cooled my throbbing brain,
Did I swear off and quit? No, I got soused again.
36
-3
=3
m
Sfcx
"■'.»
I\s\
v., \ \ ■ ■
Vv\X%^
31
2j
=3
T&_ ikm legions' of_ 'f fee tost'ones* -*
To-the •cohorts of the dammed? .. "•
To ^ our'brethren in their -sorrow jO0er$em$~—' -
_ Sings & gentleman of -Rngi&nd, - - . -
' Finely mode; maekinety xmmmed *:
And'a trooper of the forces, if'you pleose— ' ^
Yes> 0 trooper of the forces/ ■ ' . \ - * . . ■ '
Who B&s btedhis own six horse®- - _ ' ■ -
And'ftdih) km 'run the 'toee-ttnd run it blind—*
'Oh^ the''world mm more'-than km$ ' ^ ~ '■••'' - ~-
• While he[hetd a ready fmP . -
But today- the sergeant** something less ihon kind*
We me- poor Hide iambs who hmm lost mar woy*.
- ~BAA, -BAA,-BAA,- ;;- ; -" . \/ ^ -
We are iiaie black sheep-who horn gone~mstmy$
•SAAt SAAf BAA, / - - " . '
. Gtmiiemmt rojnkers,'mst on m spreef -
rOod ha\merey ^n sach^aswe,
Damned from here io eternity*
.. : BAA,'BAA,'BAA.
"Oh it*s sweet to sweol through stabies*
Sweet'to .-'empty kiteken sh*psy •... r " - - :
And it*s 'sweet to hear ike~tales the troopers telL
' Sweet _ to dance xmth. blowzy1 fomsemaidsf
.At.ihk regimental*ops? ,-_"'/
-And to'throsh-the cad_wh& says you wottz too welt
'Oh? it's sweet t&.-cock a Poop
' And'be,rider to your 'troop? ' ,- ,.; - -x
And 'branded with the blasted* worsted spmr—*-; «.
\WMle you'envy+O,'how-keenly _ :
'One poor Torismy living 'cleanly>;
.W-hot-blaehr your .hoots ■■ '-..."
;And':s^methnes culh you "sir/*. *
a mum at will)
Oks ik^ fmm^ me never write io
And the oath* we nmfer keepM
And all-tv* hold must distant &md- mo*t dear—
Acros* thz snoring barrack-room
Return to &re&k mir 'sleep;
Can you hterne m if tee d®mm oureelve* in beer?
mmrd4amiem gutter*
While s* fif*mken comrade mutter*,-
And ik& h&ryorj&f oar fall m written plain,
Et^rv Msr^i £gl*~tev&alin%
Qn an o%hir.% whitewashed ceiling9
C^n vi'iu &<unu m if a*e drug our setae* horn pain?
W« are d&ne with hope and honor*
We are Imt in l&pe and truth?
e a?** cJhnbing down the Imdier rang by rmngf
And the measure of our torment
h the ftH\'<£Kr* **f OW .ycs&'i/ty
God kelp ub. for $z-e knew the worst too young!
c^<t?- repentance*
■ that brought the tentence,
& to hmm) m> %pur of pride*
*>J Reuben hold* m* ■
-?? earth enfold* u*>
For the c*t?n
Out IXf'Hff* ,;r
\¥ hug i?ii Ci!?
i2ti^-i~>
*one can iell ihem where we lie*
.*%
Said
Bill h^ *:?*
uli w& i-&>.
S& they ~*mlk<*& *A?&f,r» 3lf- ^?ri fttr.-Sfc'J tip iff amT
And £k*.y ^??t*: to -
Where they &?u? - :.
Now in a *<?av*?<}$.*££ i
t * * * * *
. £. VritZg
Now all yo& :- v?ic? *£
If you dnrfi sto^t s *t
*eV ?';£j sS-ar.i' :Vs %><&ar head*
V-
?>\'\N;
\
HALLELUJAH
Lying in the gutter, all guzzled up on beer,
Bubbles in my whiskers, I thought my end was near.
Then came the glorious Army, and I was born again
Glory, glory, hallelujah, tra-la-la, amen, tra4a4a, amen.
(CHORUS)
Hallelujah . . . hallelujah
Drop a nickel on the drum, drop a nickel on the drum
Hallelujah . - . hallelujah
Drop a nickel on the drum, and you'll be saved.
When I was sweet sixteen, I was the village belle,
The way I danced and carried on would send me straight
to hell.
I rode a tandem bicycle, my ankles were in view
I joined the glorious Army and I was born anew.
Happy, happy day! We are S-A-V-E-D, H-A-P-P-Y
to be F-JR- double-E
We've joined the glorious Army, and we are born again.
C
-- ^
c ^ ^
1 -M'H \\m \J:*V
41
Whiskey, O Whiskey,
You killed my dear old Dad,
And if you don't kill me,
I sho'lly will be sad.
For when I get drunk,
Just pour me in my hunk,
Cause I ain't nobody's business
But my o-o-own—
And when I get sober,
I'll do the whole thing over,
Cause it ain't nobody's business
But my own.
Oh, dear old Grandad (fill in favorite whiskey,
as Old Taylor, Old Parr, Old Overshoes, etc.)
It ain't nobody's business—
But My-y-y Oh-ohown.
42
FARE
&fo
(Tune:
"Landlord, Fill The Flowing Bowl*9)
Come, mess-mates, pass the bottle 'round,
Our time is short, remember,
For our grog must stop, and our spirits drop,
On the first day of September.
(CHORUS)
For to-night we'll merry, merry be,
For to-night we'll merry, merry be,
For to-night we'll merry, merry be,
;^jj} Tomorrow we'll be sober.
Farewell old rye, 'tis a sad, sad word,
But alas! it must be spoken,
The ruby cup must be given up,
And the demijohn be broken.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
Jack's happy days will soon be gone,
To return again, oh never!
For they've raised his pay five cents a day
But stopped his grog forever.
44
ELL
TO
&
Yet memory oft will backward turn,
And dwell with fondness partial,
On the days when gin was not a sin,
Nor cocktails brought courts-martial.
(Bosun's mate pipe "All Hands Splice the Main Brace")
All hands to splice thejtfnain brace, call,
(n * But splice itjjpw tn\sorrow,
For the spirit-room ftey willpeylaid away,
m
(j
For-ever, on
fe2&&2
#f hi in
&
%tWf
w
A ^
AND NOW LETS SING
\
;->*
V^
no**
£.4l ^1 '
^
4
V.
. t" ^^r""l / f ^F">^
\\^
7tt'iY<t7i**
7
\ rh if*
V-1 ^ I
47
(Tune: "Bell Bottom Trousers")
Once there was a flyer in the ATC,
Along came an admiral and sent him out to sea.
Now they are not soldiers, neither are they tars;
The poor pilots wonder what the hell they are.
Bell bottom trousers, coats of forest green;
The goddamdest outfit the world has ever seen.
Wings on their pockets, feathers in their hats;
Once they were the ATC, now they are the MATS.
48
Once we had our airways, over land and sea,
If we missed a landing strip, we perched them in a tree.
We had to fight the generals to keep our planes and stuff,
Now we've got the generals tamed, the admirals they get
tough.
Once we
used a landing strip, but now we use the deck,
When they merged the services, we got it in the neck.
We had our Army troubles, and things were all SNAFU,
Christ, you ought to see us now—we've got the Navy's too.
Once we flew our cargoes, or else we flew some VIPS,
Now they send us out in planes, and bring us back in ships.
We used to use relief cups, but now we use the head,
We aren't allowed to leave the field, we go ashore instead.
49
/
HAVE RETURNED
(Tune: "Johnny Comes Marching Home Again")
When Doug MacArthur at last went back,
"I have returned"
He followed the fox-hunting pigboats' track,
:z= "I have returned"
Oh, carrier planes were overhead
And battleships turrets emitted lead
So the General could go ashore, it is said,
Singing ((l have returned"
CincPoa divisions were at his side,
"I have returned"
And PhibsPacFor provided the ride,
"I have returned"
Oh, the subs went up the sea of Japan
And the carriers ranged from Taiwan to Bataan
So the General could land, according to plan,
Singing "I have returned."
MacArthur enlisted God by prayer,
"I have returned"
But God decided he wouldn$t be there
"I have returned"
But to help God went to the utmost limits l$
For God sent Kinkaid, Halsey and Nimitz
And the General went along to kibitz,
Singing "I have returned." f<^^^[
OF
THE MQINES
(Tune: "Marine Hymn")
From the shores of Eniwetok to the slopes of Tapachau,
We have fought our country's battles, and we'll fight again right
now.
Oh, the Army, Navy, Air Corps, all were present at the scene,
But the guys that got the credit were the United States Marines.
From the rockbound coasts of Garapan to Charon Kanoyas mill,
The marines just barely took a beach, and by God they'd be there
still,
But they sent the 27th in to stop those banzai screams,
For we are the secret weapon of the United States Marines.
51
A#>^°
(Tune: uSolomon Levi")
Oh, I jined the U* S* Air Force, a pilot for to he,
The bastards put me in the hrig and I ended on §CP*
1 thought I knew the answers and hud them on my tongue,
When all of m sudden I found myself shouldering up a gun.
I got myself a section eight, the Navy for to try,
They welcomed me with open arms and I was pretty sly.
I said Vd left the Air Force 'cause they wouldn't let me fly,
The Navy said, "Just stick around, we'll try you by and by"
Oh? they put me into training and christened me a boot,
Then handed me u bigger gun than Vd ever tried to shoot*
We marched around the goddam deck tilt I urns fit to die,
f prayed for hands on the bosun** mate and a chance to black his
eye.
Oh, finally when the ship one day got close enough to shore,
I scurried down the ratline, Navy life my goal no more*
I dragged myself to the nearest town to get my ashes hauled,
Then off to the nearest draft board to get myself recalled.
\ _________■ The doctors felt me over to see if I was warm,
\vwr *«*«£] Then planked my as$ right back In camp, m member of the
Airborne.
1 says to myself you're gettin' around, but then ii$s fun to try,
And at last you're gain* to get a whack at learnin* how to fly*
52
Since I'd run me out of services I had no place to go,
So I stuck around at Benning to give the 'Chutes a show,
Every time I went two feet, I did it on the run,
Carrying everything in the camp, including another gun.
They picked the meanest bastards and mad* $mm drill m$ hard,
They neper emn gave us a chance to pick up a pack at cards,
They showed us how to pack our chute? and haw to rightly spate
it,.
And promised if it didn't work, thmy*d soon enough replace it
The final day at last arrived and we went out to fly,
It couldn't have been a better one, it was a perfect sky.
The lads were having trouble with their harnesses and straps,
While a couple of wise guys sat in the tail shooting a game of
craps.
I 'for one was glad of the strap that wound around my jowls,
It kept my chin from quivering, but it didn§t keep my bowels,
I didn*t mind the knocking around or mid and drizzly chills,
But i hated like hell to giWa thought to the coming laundry bills.
They told me later I didn't hook up, I ran out the tail so fast,
But pulled my other 'chute just in time to save my aching ass.
Oh, I'm off to join the Air Force where life ain't half so bad.
(AC
<r^
53
BENNtNG SCHOOL FOR BOYS*
(Tunrn: giA Cay Named Jmu)
1 came h&re to /amp for i#«f
# df^n f# realty ~mmd the domgk§
I jmi eame here to jmm^ for Jew*
?&zf guy As* to mack murage,
Foil *houid Me^ the thing* h$ make* m$ da*
He never kmi* mm eyetaeh mhem me hap out into the Mme:
Now boots €&md wing* d&m9i mean a thing*
Fd break my bm^k far old Joe Swing
# ju*t eame here to jmmp for Joe,
High ahooe ih€ Chattahooehh* am the Yomeatog,
Stand* our own, out-alma mater$
Bemmimg School for Say**
Forward ever; baekward neoer,
F&How^ me and die*
To the port of embarkation,'
Next of kin, goodbye*
*T«* Gen* Joe Swing
THE SW,C&
Oh, you've heard of the Navy and the men who sail the seas,
For the glory of our country's colors fair.
For the glory of the blue and gold our team is here today, ff
And we'll cheer them as through Army's line they tear.
Oh, there'll he high elation on the far China Station,
From Crab-town to ships at Timbuctoo.
And we'll drink a merry toast to our team,
The Service Toast,
And the wearers of the good old Navy Blue.
(NON-CONFORMIST VERSION)
Oh, there must be high elation
When they all go out to station,
Their sixteen inch guns shoot fore and aft.
They're bold sailors on a spree,
But they're mostly sick at sea,
When they head her for the rocks and make her fast
(CHORUS)
Have I heard of the Navy?
Yes, I've heard of the Navy
And I'm just a little tired of hearing, too.
So we'll drink a merry toast
To the men who love to boast
They're the wearers of the good old Navy blue.
Oh, the skippers of the freighters,
They sometimes read the papers, and
I wonder what they think of our Navee.
From the admiral on the bridge
To the lowest midship midge
They have run aground in all the seven seas.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
55
wsy
(Tune:
"Shanty In Old Shanty Town")
A Shanty Town there is by the name of Rufisque,
It's the one spot on earth that I'll never miss,
The women run around with a naked skin of brown,
Never saw such lips or such swaying hips.
We're the combat men of the ATC,
They gave us a gun and shipped us overseas,
And the gun we got sure is a pip,
We load it up with a bottle of flit
We're tired of it all and we wanna go back,
Away from the WOGS and the little grass shacks,
There never was a spot this side of hell
That ever gave off such a goUderned smell.
If I stay away from rum and stick to peanut beer,
I won't blow my top for another year,
Then a furlough I'll get, tor the law's been passed
After three years here we get an overnight pass. , A^
56
(Tune: "The Cowboy's Lament")
I'm the co-pilot . . . I sit on the right,
It's up to me to he quick and bright.
I never talk back, for I'll have regrets
And I must remember what the captain forgets.
I make out the flight plan and study the weather,
Pull up the gear and stand by to feather,
Make out the mail forms and do the reporting,
3?-^* And fly the old crate when the captain is snoring.
I take the readings and adjust the power,
Put on the heaters when we're in a shower,
Tell where we are on the darkest night,
And do all the book work without any light.
I call for my captain and buy him cokes,
t always laugh at his corny jokes,
And once in awhile when his landings are rusty
I come through with "Gosh, ain't it gusty?"
All in all, I'm a general stooge
As I sit to the right of this man Scrooge.
But maybe some day with great understanding,
He'll soften a bit and give me ft landing.
I
57
I
(Tune: "Rambling Wreck from Georgia Tech")
If you ever see a guy,
With lots of age and rank,
Who9s just about as useful
As an empty belly tank;
Who hardly ever Hies at all,
Who's quiet as a lamb . . •
It's an Aeroplane Commander, and he isn't worth a damn.
For up in Washington they found
The Air Corps had a lot
Of broken down old pilots
Who weren't very hot;
So they gave a fancy rating <-
To each decrepit lout;
Thus we got Command Pilots,
You can see them all about.
When he gets inside a ship
We help him to his seat
We tell him to be careful
Not to get beneath our feet
We let him hold the maps when he
Would like to bear a hand,
But as Aeroplane Commander
He can't take her off or land.
3
f
I
I
I
58
When the gyropilot's on
And everything is sweet,
We sometimes let him come and take
The young co-pilot's seat.
He thinks the plane is guided by
A pair of leather reins,
For he's got three thousand hours, but
He ain't got any brains. ^?—>
He doesn't take command at all
He's always fast asleep,
And when we ask for his advice
He doesn't give a peep.
But when we roll her in a ball
With lots of noise and flame,
It's the Aeroplane Commander
Who always takes the blame.
He's lost what flying skill he's had
He's old and broken down;
Young pilots all feel sorry for
This poor enfeebled clown.
Instead of feeling sorry
They should all be pretty glum,
They'll be Aeroplane Commanders, too,
In the years to come.
59
QUARTERMASTER CORPS
My eyes are dim, I cannot see,
I have not brought my specs with me.
I have not brought my specs with me,
It's whiskey, whiskey, whiskey,
That makes you feel so frisky
In the Corps, in the Corps.
It's whiskey, whiskey, whiskey
That makes you feel so frisky,
In the Quartermaster Corps.
It's gin, gin, gin,
That makes you want to sin
In the Corps, in the Corps.
It's gin, gin, gin
That makes you want to sin,
In the Quartermaster Corps.
It's rum, rum, rum,
That makes you feel so glum
In the Corps, in the Corps.
It's rum, rum, rum
That makes you feel so glum.
THE GRASSHOPPER SONG
-*£*.. ' * ■> t u~K ^St if & /-£„ Si^Ttgr*'
mv.
i«* *ar*tzix
(CHORUS)
;v* . ;
^c^~ *;^;';" ^r*?^.;* ii'tt- *Vc<?!'
!V i.5
c **" e. •-?.»■
^/ ,* &cn "- i
>v e * i c~.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
Me Where the Privates Are
(Tune: "Where They Are")
Ask me where the Privates are, I'll tell you where they are,
Vll tell you where they are, yes, I'll tell you where they are,
Ask me where the Privates are, Vll tell you where they are,
"Up to their necks in mud."
I saw them, I saw them, up to their necks in mud;
I saw them up to their necks in mud.
You ask me where the Corporals are, Vll tell you where they are,
Vll tell you where they are, yes, Vll tell you where they are,
You ask me where the Corporals are, Vll tell you where they are,
"Mending the broken wire."
I saw them, I saw them, mending the broken wire,
I saw them mending the broken wire.
You ask me where the Sergeants are, Vll tell you where they are,
Vll tell you where they are, yes, Vll tell you where they are,
You ask me where the Sergeants are, Vll tell you where they are,
"Drinking up the Privates9 rum."
I saw them, I saw them, drinking up the Privates' rum,
I saw them drinking up the Privates' rum*
You ask me where the officers are, Vll tell you where they are,
Vll tell you where they are, yes, Vll tell you where they are,
You ask me where the officers are, Vll tell you where they are,
"Down in their deep dug-outs."
I saw them, I saw them, down in their deep dug-outs,
I saw them down in their deep dug-outs.
You ask me where the Generals are, Vll tell you where they are,
I'll tell you where they are, yes, Vll tell you where they are,
You ask me where the Generals are, Vll tell you where they are,
"Back in gay Paree."
I saw them, I saw them, back in gay Paree,
I saw them back in gay Paree.
62
4m>
THE Tl LOT
(Tunes "Barnacle Bill, the Sailor")
"The Air Corps is the life for me/' said Barnacle Bill, the Sailor.
"I'll jump my ship and leave the sea and be an Aviator.
"I'll fly so high III reach the sky, gravitation Pll defy.
"Til make the people moan and cry," said Barnacle Bill, the
Sailor.
"Pretty soon you9ll lose that grin," said the fair young
maiden,
"Pretty soon you'll lose that grin," said the fair young
maiden.
"I'm rough and tough, I know my stuff," said Bill, the Aviator.
"I'll fly this ship till I've had enough," said Bill, the Aviator.
"I know a strut, I know a fin, I know a barrel-roll and a spin,
"I know a prop, I know a knock, and I know an elevator."
"You're out of gas and must go down," wailed the fair
young maiden,
"You're out of gas and must go down," wailed the fair
young maiden.
"I'm a cockeyed Finn if I'll give in, " roared Bill, the Aviator.
"I'll fight this ship with a flyer's grin," roared Bill, the Aviator.
He kicked the bar and pulled the stick, which didn't seem to do
the trick,
And he hit the ground like a ton of brick, poor Barnacle Bill,
the Sailor.
"Here's some flowers for his grave," sobbed the fair young
maiden,
"Here's some flowers for his grave," sobbed the fair young
maiden.
63
HAZY MAZY*
(Tune: "Bicycle Built for Two'9)
Hazy Mazy, what are you trying to do?
I'm half crazy, trying to follow through.
You can't do good precision, you won't make a decision,
But you'd look sweet, upon the seat of a parachute Thirty-two.
Hazy Mazy, your pattern is all astray,
You know darn well I taught you another way.
You shove the stick in my tummy and then you think it's funny;
I can't forget the crack in the neck you gave me the other day.
Hazy Mazy, all your maneuvers stink!
Why the devil didn't you learn to think?
You spin just like a top, I think you'll never stop.
I think it best you take a rest on a bicycle built for two.
WASHOUT DIRGE*
(Tune: "The Funeral March")
Check Flight Instructor was after me today,
-CJ-)
Too late tor me to get on my knees and pray,
Ohyhow he spun me, now you must shun me—fo-o-r
Check Flight Instructor was after me today.
Clothes packed, I'm leaving, my flying days are done,
Home to raise babies, the Army says it's fun.
Making tiny garments, luck to you varmints—fo-o-r
Check Flight Instructor was after me today.
* WASPS Training Songs.
64
(Tune: "Song of Burgu
We are the men in *c
Tough men in )umpA
Jumping down to/j&fqfflty-*-
We are the Par
| HariM | ^^paratroopers | |
| Jumping | Hffiwn to victory, | |
| Stand V Hit M |
W&Hook Up! | |
| Mr—and GO!!* | ||
| DowMm | rM earthward ' | |
| mPr WW\ | ml | eds flow*] Lip/!/ |
AND ON TO
65
u
S
A
V
m
m
=3
Oh, the north country is a cold country,
It harbors a bloody brood,
And it's icy arms hold hidden charms
For the sinful, the greedy, the lewd.
Strong men rust from the gold and the lust |
That sears the northern soul; lf~^
But the wickedest born from the Pole to the Horn
Is the Hermit of Shark Tooth Shoal.
Now, Jacob Kaine was the Hermit's name;
^ In the days of his pious youth
He cast a smirch on the Baptist Church
By betraying a girl named Ruth.
But strong men quake at "Yukon Jake,
The Hermit of Shark Tooth Shoal,
For that is the name by which Jacob Kaine^J\ ^ |rp!J f^ll^lA |]Sh1 ; «r G?I
Was known from Nome to the Pole.
He was just a boy, the parson's job,
'Ere he fell for the gold and the muck,
And he learned to pray with the hog and the hay
On a
farm near Keokuk.
But a Service tale of illicit kale,
And whiskey and women wild,
Drained the morals clean as a soup tureen
From this poor but honest child.
j 'ij
xJie Hermit
He longed for the bite of a Yukon night,
And the northern lights' weird flicker,
Or a game of stud in the frozen mud,
And the taste of raw red liquor.
He wanted to mush along in the slush
With a team of husky hounds,
And to fire his gat at a beaver hat
And to knock it out of bounds.
So he left his home for the hell-town, Nome,
On Alaska's ice ribbed shores,
And learned to drink and curse and worse,
9Til the rum dripped from his pores.
When the boys on a spree were whooping it free
In a Malamute Saloon,
And Dan McGrew with his dangerous crew
Shot craps with a piebald coon.
When the kid on the stool banged away like a fool,
At a jig-time melody,
And the barkeep 'lowed to a hard-boiled crowd,
That he'd cremate Sam McGee,
Then Jacob Kaine who had taken the name
Of "Yukon Jake, the Killer,"
Would rake the dive with his forty-five
'Til the atmosphere grew chilly.
With a sharp command he'd make 'em stand
And deliver their hard earned dust,
And drink to the bar of rum and rye, as a
Klondike bully must.
68
oik
Sioal &•«*)
Without coming to blows he would tweak the nose
Of Dangerous Dan McGrew,
And becoming bolder, throw over his shoulder
The lady known as Lou.
Oh, tough as a steak was Yukon Jake,
Hard-boiled as a picnic egg;
He washed his shirt in Klondike dirt,
And drank his rum by the keg.
But far away in Keokuk, Iowa,
Did the ruined make a fight
To remove the smirch from the Baptist Church,
By bringing the heathen light.
And the elders declared that all would be squared,
If she carried the Holy words,
From her Keokuk home to the hell-town Nome,
To save those sinful birds.
fear of
their lives, or because of their wives, M
He was shunned by the best of his pals, f
And an outcast he from the comraderie of all but
wild animals.
So he bought the whole of Shark Tooth Shoal,
A reef in the Bering Sea;
And he lived by himself on a sea-lion shelf,
In lonely iniquity.
69
* Of
So two weeks later she took a freighter,
For the gold-cursed land near the Pole.
But Heaven ain't made for the lass that's betrayed,
She was ship-wrecked on Shark Tooth Shoal.
All hands were tossed in the sea and lost,
All but the maid named Ruth,
Who swam to the edge of a sea-lion ledge,
Where abode the love of her youth.
He was hunting a seal for his evening meal
And he handled a mean harpoon.
When he saw at his feet, not something to eat,
But a girl in a frozen swoon,
Whom he dragged to his lair, by her dripping hair,
And he rubbed her knees with gin.
To his great surprise she opened her eyes,
And revealed his original sin.
/ His eight months' beard grew still and weird
And it felt like a chestnut burr,
I p And he swore by his gizzard and the Arctic blizzard
That he would do right by her.
And the cold sweat froze on the end of her nose,
'Til it gleamed like a Tecla pearl;
While her bright hair fell like a flame from hell
Down the back of the grateful girl.
70
Tooth
&&£^
But a hopeless rake was Yukon Jake,
The Hermit of Shark Tooth Shoal;
And the dizzy maid he re-betrayed
And wrecked his immortal soul.
Then he rowed her ashore with a broken oar,
And sold her to Dan McGrew
For a hot egg-nog and a husky dog,
As rascals are wont to do.
Now Ruthless Ruth is a maid uncouth,
With painted cheeks and lips,
And she sings rude songs to the drunken throngs
That come from the sealing ships.
For a rouge-stained kiss from this infamous miss
They will give a seal's sleek fur,
Or perhaps a sable if they are able,
It's much the same to her.
Oh, the
north country is a cpld country,
Mothers a bloody brood,
And its icy arms hold hidden charms
For the greedy, the sinful, the lewd.
Strong men rust from the gold and the lust,
That sear the Northern soul;
But the wickedest born from the Pole to the Horn,
Was the Hermit of Shark Tooth Shoal,
THE
Monw
SAMUEL HALL
Oh, my name is Samuel Hall, Samuel Hall,
Oh, my name is Samuel Hall,
And I hate you one and all,
You're a lot of muckers all . . . damn your eyes!
Oh, I killed a man 'tis said, so 'tis said,
Oh, I killed a man 'tis said, for I hit him on the head,
And I left him there for dead . . •
Damn his eyes!
And they put me in the quad, in the quad,
Yes, they put me in the quad with a chain and iron rod,
And they left me there, by God . . .
Damn their eyes!
Oh, the parson he did come, he did come,
Oh, the parson he did come and he looked so bloody
glum,
As he talked of kingdom come ...
Damn his eyes!
And the sheriff he came too, he came too,
And the sheriff he came too, with his bloody boy in blue,
They've a hanging job to do . . .
Damn their eyes!
So, its up the rope I go, up I go,
So, it's up the rope I go with my friends all down below,
Saying, "Sam, I told you so" . . .
Damn their eyes!
Oh, let this be my knell, be my knell,
Oh, let this be my knell, as ye listen to my yell,
Hope to God you sizzle well . . *
Damn your eyes!
73
STREET URCHINS9 MEDLEY
(Tune: "Roll Dem Bones'^ !v
Sing a song of citi
Cities great arm small;
Rhyming little ditties
Tell about tMm all.
New York has fi*r lobsters,
Boston has her be&ns,
Baltimore's the place^f oysters,
But for 'lasses, New Orle
(CHORUS)
Roll dem bones, roll dem bones,
Roll 'em on the square,
Roll 'em on the sidewalks,
The street or anywhere.
We roll 'em in the morning,
We roll 'em in the night,
We roll dem bones the whole day long]
While the cops are out of sight.
Shine, shine, who wants a shine?
My name is Teddy, and I'm always refidy,
My brushes are new,
And my blacking is fine;
Hi there! Mister!
Don't you want a shine?
(REPEAT CHORUS)
THE UNRECONSTRUCTED REBEL
I'm a good old Rebel soldier,
And that's just what I am,
And for this great land of freedom
I do not give a damn.
I'm glad we fit against it; I only wish we'd won
And I don't ask no pardon for anything I done.
1 hate the Yankee nation and everything they do,
I hate the Emancipation Proclamation, too.
I hate their striped banner, 'tis dripping with our blood
And those goddam thieving Yankees, I fit 'em all I could.
I hate the Freedman's Bureau, the unit or m of blue,
I hate the Declaration of Independence, too.
I hate their nasty eagle, and all his ways of fuss
And those goddam thievin' Yankees, I hate 'em wuss and
wuss.
I followed old Marse Robert for four years, nigh about,
Got wounded at Manassas and stormed at Point Lookout
I catched the rheumatism for camping in the snow,
And I killed a choice of Yankees, and I'd like to kill some
more.
Three hundred thousand Yankees lie stiff in southern
dust,
We got three hundred thousand before they conquered
us.
They died of southern fever, and southern shot and
shell,
Oh, I wish it been three million more, goddam 'em
all to hell.
Got to put up my musket, can't fight 'em any more,
But I ain't gonna love 'em and that is certain sure,
And I don't ask no pardon, suh, for what I was or am
And they ain't gonna reconstruct me, and I do not give
a DAMN.
75
LOVELY HULA HAND
Lovely hula hands, f ^\
Graceful as the birds in motion,
Gliding like the gulls o'er the ocean,
Lovely hula hands Kou-lima-nani-e*
/ /
Lovely hula hands, /
Telling of the rain in the valley
And the swirling winds o'er the pali,
Lovely hula hands Kou-iima-nani-e,
y i
I can feel the soft caresses
Of your hula hands, your lovely hula hands.
Every little move expresses, / ^s
So I'll understand all the tender meaning
Of your hula hands.
Finger tips that say "aloha,"
Say to me again "1 love you,'
Lovely hula hands
Kou-lima-nani-e.
Things were hard in Irish town,
Everything was going down,
And Pat Malone was pressed for ready
He for life insurance spent
All his money to a cent,
And all of his affairs had gone to smash.
When his wife spoke up and said:
"Now, dear Pat, if you were dead,
"The twenty thousand dollars we could take/*
Then Pat Malone lay down and tried
To make out that he had died,
Until he smelt the whiskey at the wake.
(CHORUS)
Pat Malone forgot that he was dead,
He raised up and he shouted from the bed:
"It the wake goes on a minute,
"Why, the corpse he must be in it,
"And you've got to keep me drunk to keep me dead."
78
Then they gave the corpse a cup,
Afterwards they filled him up,
And they laid him out again upon the bed.
At the break of morning gray,
Everybody felt so gay,
That they quite forgot he only played off dead.
So they took him from the bunk,
Still alive, but awful drunk,
And they laid him in the coffin with a prayer.
Then the driver of the car,
He says "Be gobs, I'll never start,
"Until I see that someone pays the fare."
(NEW CHORUS)
Then Pat Malone forgot that he was dead,
He sat up in the coffin and he said:
"If you dare to doubt my credit,
"You'll be sorry that you said it,
"Drive on or else the corpse will break your head."
Then the funeral started out,
On the cemetery route,
And the neighbors tried the widow to console;
Till they landed at the base
Of Malone's last resting place,
And they gently lowered Patrick in the hole.
Then Malone began to see,
Just as plain as one, two, three,
That he'd forgot to reckon on the end,
So when the clods began to drop,
Pat kicked off the coffin top,
And to the earth he quickly did ascend,
-*%\
Then
Pat Malone forgot that he was dead.
And from the cemetery quickly fled.
He came nearly going under,
It's a lucky thing, by thunder,
That Pat Malone forgot that he was dead.
79
{If A:\s •
AO ZOMA*
(Tune: "Blue Heaven") S\
Yugure ni aogi, watashi no ao zora,
Hikureto tadoru wa, tvagaya no hoso michi,
Somai nagara mo tanoshi tvagaya,
Ai no hikari no sasu tokoro,
Koishi, iye koso, watashi no ad zora.
: . t J\
*For Translation write to —Oh^ forget it,] it's probably clean.
of -the ^Philippines
(Tune: "Gay Caballero")
There once was a Filipino hombre
Who lived on rice, fish and legumbre.
His trousers were wide and his shirt hung outside
For that is the style and costumbre.
He lived in a nipa bahay,
That served as bath, stable and sty.
He slept on a mat with the dog and the cat
And the gallos and puercos nearby.
His father was a buen Filipino
Who never mixed tubig with vino.
He said: "Me no insurrecto, no got knife, no got bolo,"
But he managed to kill his vecino.
His mother, she kept a tienda
And sold to the soldados merienda;
But for cigarettes she made them pay
Cash not chits, day by day.
"Jawbone," she said, "me no comprenda."
His brother he was a cochero,
In Manila he made mucho dinero.
Tho9 his caballo patay, when the cop was not by,
He fleeced his poor pasajero.
His sister was a buena lavandera
Who washed clothes in a nearby estero
On a rock in the stream where the carabaos dream,
Which gave them a perfume ligera.
His pueblo it gave a fiesta,
They tried very hard to digest her,
But the mule she had died, with the glanders inside,
And now the familia no esta.
81
'Okmy-fkiker-wm ike keeper''^ £k€.Edd*-*i**ns Mghi
And 'ke:siepi.,miik .«'mcrrndd o^&str tt^SL - . .. ■
And from fkm:umi^n_ there mm^^Mft^*: ~ '■.."-
*4 pQtpmm and'a-pwgy &nd-th& other o^f m?;
Fo Jt# Af f *Ae u'iimT !&»*&* IWet
. Ha* tm a life on-the miling mrJ
Now one night as I'was a*trimgz&Kf ^r ihc #«&*
' And- m*mngm% m verse from ihe e^enift" &&**&*,
.4 ^vmm::fmm ihe-siatb^rd .$h&&ied. *\4 ft**y a?}
Ami Ihere'"tms m$:m®ihtr:nymiiir$*: o». ^ .^a^ /
;(M£mAT;\€liOBm}-: ■'
:jI&zz£-z£*d$ $thiki**d **■& *&*k***g Ash,- • . ,
(REPEAT\ CHORUS)
^2,—'""^i^.**********-** Ifi%«r.fe#rf* **» rs#r &e&Mj£&e*t JfcSfJ** ..
^„^'.|:l^^^,H i>^^fcfc-"«,W*i* *#*v m&the*' wasn't there}
But& &ff&x ■?.$&&& '%:£■&&}*** *>$? &r the ni%HAz -
, ** *%* ***** *i*;$k &*'$**>*****?■ wf ih& E&dyst&ne Lighi/"
PHILIPPINITIS
In eighteen hundred and ninety eight
At the Port of Hong-kong, China,
George Dewey and his lusty men
Were killing lots of time;
And then up spake the Bosun's mate,
"George dear the monsoon's blowing,
"With Don Emilio, by your leave,
"To Manila we'll be going."
(CHORUS)
You might think he was loco,
But believe me it's no joke-o,
That thrifty, thrivin, and ka-ni-vin'
Hombre was no bozo.
And then John Canson also helped
Cop this land of the banana;
He like da music, he lika da fun,
That's how we got Santana;
And Big Dean Worcester in his time,
He stirred up quite a hreez»o;
He preached the doctrine that brought forth
The American Mestizo.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
Since the time Bill thought he knew it all,
To this place came many a hero,
Who blew his bazoo, shot his wad
And the hombre said, "buen tiro."
But what that hombre really thought
Of the crazy Americano,
Is more than the Commanding General knew,
Or the rest of his commando.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
4Iho
Nqu,
-flllTof£7H£%,
83
MOLLY MALONE
In Dublin's fair city, where the girls are so pretty,
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone,
As she wheel'd her wheelbarrow thro' streets broad and narrow,
Crying, "Cockles and Mussels! alive, alive, O!"
(CHORUS)
"Alive, alive o! Alive, alive, O!"
Crying, "Cockles and Mussels! alive, alive, O!"
She was a fishmonger, but sure 'twas no wonder,
For so were her father and mother before,
And they each wheel'd their barrow thro' streets broad and
narrow,
Crying, "Cockles and Mussels! alive, alive, O!"
(REPEAT CHORUS)
She died of a fever, and no one could save her,
And that was the end of sweet Molly Malone;
But her ghost wheels her barrow thro' streets broad and narrow,
Crying, "Cockles and Mussels! alive, alive, O!"
(REPEAT CHORUS)
85
HOW YA GONNA KEEP 'EM DOWN ON THE FARM
How yq gonna keep 'em down on the farm,
After they've seen Paree?
How ya gonna keep 'em away from Broadway?
Jazzin' aroun' and paintin' the town?
How you gonna keep 'em from harm?
That's a mystery.
They'll never want to see a rake or plow,
And who the hell can parley-vous a cow?
How you gonna keep 'em down on the farm,
After they've seen Puree.
86
PUT ON YOUR OLD GREY BONNET
Put on your old grey bonnet
With the blue ribbons on it,
While I hitch old dobbin to the shay,
And we'll drive to Dover thro9 the fields of clover,
On our golden wedding day.
87
They called her frivolous Sal,
A peculiar sort of a gal,
An all round good fellow
But dead on the level was my old pal;
Your troubles and sorrows and cares
She was always willing to share,
A wild sort of devil, but dead on the level
Was my gal Sal
88
Roll -em girls, roll 'em, go ahead and roll 'em)
Roll 'em down and show your pretty knees.
Roll 'em girls, roll 'em, everybody roll 'em,
Roll 'em high or low, just as you please.
Don't let people tell you that it's shocking,
Paint your sweetie's picture on your stoc
Laugh at Ma, laugh at Pa,
Give them all the ha! hal
Roll 'em girlies, roll 'em, roll your own.
*•'•• •' TM£ BARITONE'S MEWENGE- ..
By the old Moulmein Pagoda, looking eastward to the sea,
There's a Burma girl a-settin', an' I know she thinks o' me;
For the wind is in the palm trees, an' the temple bells they say:
"Come you back, you British soldier; come you back to
Mandalay!"
. Coma yam back, to Mmmdmlay? - /
„ Whwa-:ik&*atd fiaiiUa iuy?
:Can*t ymm %mr their paddles chuitthm*
' ' ■ " ' hmm Rmmgoom to Mandalay? -
■Qn iha. road''to Mahdatay. .
■ Whmm 4h®. §ymf M$km$ play, ■
- An*-thm' down comes up. likm thunder 'outer' • •"
. '•-.-"'. ,€Mmm. f€tmi ikm Buy! ~ ., —'"
'Er petticut was yaller an' 'er little cap was green,
An' 'er name was Supi-yaw-lat jes' the same as Theebaw's queen,
An' I seed her fust a-smokin* of a whackin' white cheroot,
An' a-wastin'Christian kisses on an 'eathen idol's foot:
Blm^minf:idol modfe afrmud
j W'at -thty- Sidled- iUm Gnat Gawd: Bmddf -
-'" Pimeky lot &k® mmd 'for idols whan
'"/.-/M$md $er where the stadt
..: ^Om-ih^.mmd to-Mandtd&y, mi mtem*
When the mist was on the rice-fields an* the sun was droppin
slow, .""*. '.: -' ~. _'."■:.
She'd ^it^er little banjo an' she'd sing "Kulla4o4o!"
With'er arm upon my shoulder an' her cheek again my cheek
We meter watch the steamers an' the hathis pUin'teak.
90
- In tke-sitmgy;. $q^gy.-^et$£'\ ::^ .
Where ifa^sQc&te _'--
you 'i&wt* *>*# ?'/s/^v«*i*f £t> ^fffttik i ' "77
But that's all shavedVi^^i;m^fy}^:€gp an' fur jcp^^;^:.,.
An' there ainTrip "^wVmr..S^^wSBiiii^r.^fiF^w*.nSfe^"^flori^rJ^^^B^a^^^S&Qp^
An' I'm learnin' $er$ inLpndon^hai ike fe#*|^
uIf you'i)e 'eard the East a-callm', why, you w^i^e^zrmSkii^
eke? ".-■•, r :.■;-:-' -'-;.■* .....■ ..... v^V-V5 •--•:"*"
.-.No!yon w6ii*i V^vnbf-ri/n? elst*....."•'• *-:• 7. v.
,: fifil them; spicy'g&mz 'titokH* \-r7 r':'/"[:'7; •■ *
, 'An* ffefei^^^ •«¥ ."^^ "puiim item fi&fV-'
. " " 7 * 'the"tinldfc .tsmpm^elli!.
■ •- ■• On ike fetid ?&.?$&?*&*&$& y vi
I*m Mich o' wastiri* leather on these gutty faioht stonejg^;
Ah? like blasted Hetfgliskrdfi^le wakes the ti&^S&t my
f ho'J walks witfc-Mi^oMm Chelsea iotheMrand
An' they talk* a lot i^Mmhi^hM^^jio they umderstmi?
•Beefy face '^''^rVi&fy *a*td I *..*
■Law! wai'.d&fhvj? U'Stu^rpiizndr?■-■
I'm ft««##j% &#$&&*- &taiden in &
cte*
<mmf.r &r<er&H&*% faita /
.#r
'On lAe zmzd io Waistiamv:;i * ■
Ship m£ somewheres east of[;;Sue^:;ff^re:'^^.^i^^^'
c^Jzthe worst; \'_;L/'-*^'/". /""--'•'■, * : ^v^V^^^Jr^^^"7:^:^
- Wfareh iAere aren't no Ten Comtnandment$>an' ummH can *<&*&
MihkMl ' *'-r:.:>.: i -Trrir •: r.::.--:Zr .:-. *.,-_ 7.J\7;.,.:-'-l^
"--.',*. .• : 7
Fitrlke temple-bells are7ed^ ihaJ^iw&uld he . . *
By the old Moulmein Pagoda^ loolifai^^
■—Pit tAe rw^'tOrMftftdirfay* '
\':;-Where th*'M$d, Fhrnlin T^y,-:.' . . . * . • - .
.:- -Willi omr.ucM &Bi^uth%h^:kwniu^i^-.:- v. .
".WA^re ike^Mfim* Jiskps jplays
-jAb£ -the dumm:€c*mt^ ~~^P tike,
*etm£ ink '2hzz~?': : *-/'
q|4i-fe4tsJ V*
t&fidxir -'outer'
MOONLIGHT BAY
We were Mailing along
On Moonlight Bay,
I could hear the darkies singings
They seemed to say:
"You have stolen my heart,
"Now don't go away,'*
As we sang love's old sweet
Song on Moonlight Bay.
I'VE GOT SIX-PENCE
Vve got six-pence—jolly, jolty six-pence,
I've got six-pence to last me all my life.
Vve got tuppence to spend, and tuppence to lend,
And tuppence to send home to my wife.
No cares have I to grieve me,
No pretty little girls to deceive me,
Vm happy as a lark, believe me,
As we go rolling, rolling home.
(CHORUS)
Rolling home, rolling home,
By the light of the silvery moon;
Happy is the day, when the Navy gets its pay,
As we go rolling, rolling home.
93
DEAR OLD GIRL s
(VERSE)
'
'Twas a sunny day in Jane
When the birds were all in tune
And the songs they sang all seemed
to be of you.
And the words I came to speak
Brought blushes to your cheeks
As you whispered "Yes" and fondly
kissed me too.
I could see the love light shine
In your bright eyes, sweetheart mine
When the preacher said the word that
made us one.
And you have been a faithful wife
in the changing scenes of life
Until the Master said "Your work on
earth is done. "
/
(CHORUS)
Dear old girl, the robin sings above you.
Dear old girl, it sings of how I love you,
The blinding tears are falling as I think
of my lost pearl
And my broken heart is calling,
Calling for you, dear old girl.
94
9'll laKe The^e9_
l^rom Off I he table
I'll take the leg from off the table,
I'll take an arm from off a chair,
I'll take the body from the davenport,
And from the mattress get the hair.
I'll take the neck from off a bottle,
And then I bet you when I'm through,
I'll get a lot more loving
From that goddam dummy
Than I ever got from you.
fl B D U LL-fl H Bt
Oh the sons of the prophet were valiant and brave
And quite unaccustomed to fear,
But the bravest by far in the ranks of the shah
Was Abdullah Bul-Bul Amir.
When they needed a man to encourage the van
Or harass the foe from the rear,
Or storm a redoubt, they had only to shout
For Abdullah Bul-Bul Amir.
There are men of renown and well known to fame
In the army that's led by the czar,
But the best known of all was a man by the name
Of Ivan Petrovsky Skivar. .
He could imitate Irving, play poker and pool,
And strum on the Spanish guitar;
In fact, quite the cream of the Muscovite team
Was Ivan Petrovsky Skivar.
One day this bold Russian he shouldered his gun
And with his most truculent sneer,
Was looking for fun when he happened to run
Upon Abdullah Bul-Bul Amir.
"Young man," said Bul-Bul, "is existence so dull
"That you're anxious to end your career?
"For, infidel, know you have trod on the toe
"Of Abdullah Bul-Bul Amir."
Said Ivan, "My friend, your remarks in the end
"Will avail you but little, I fear,
"For you never will survive to repeat them alive,
"Mr. Abdullah Bul-Bul Amir."
96
L-BUL AMIR
"O, take one last look at this cool shady nook,
"And send your regrets to the czar,
"By which I imply you are going to die,
"Mr. Ivan Petrovsky Skivar/9
Then this haughty Mameluke drew his trusty skibouk,
And shouting, "Allah Akbar,99
And on murder bent he ferociously went
For Ivan Petrovsky Skivar.
As Abdullah's long knife was extracting the life,
In fact, as he shouted "Huzzah,99
He felt himself struck by that wily Kalmuck,
Count Ivan Petrovsky Skivar,
The Sultan rode up the disturbance to quell,
Expecting the victor to cheer,
But he only drew nigh to hear the last sigh
Of Abdullah Bui Bui Amir.
Czar Petrovitch too, in his uniform blue,
Rode up in his new crested car:
He arrived just in time to exchange a last line
With Ivan Petrovsky Skivar.
On a stone by the banks where the Danube doth roll,
Engraved in characters clear,
Is "Stranger, remember to pray for the soul
"Of Abdullah Bul-Bul Amir/9
A Muscovite maid her long vigil doth keep,
Alone 9neath the cold northern star,
And the name that she murmurs in vain as she weeps
Is "Ivan Petrovsky Skivar/9
97
By y<Ht h&&ni& imnk$ mid S^ vc-n b&*$m& h?&&£j
Where the nan shinm h?*zjii ■&& *.t***h Lcm-v&J,.
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0/» the mmm^; bem^g h^-L? -;? L^c*-* £.o.n-t<-;--: »•■!..
(CHORDS)
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Pm looking for Titina,Titina,myTitina,
I've searched from Palestina,ia London and Perm
I'll die without Titina, ;
I can't eat my farina,
/ don't want Rose or tend,
Titina, I want you,
'WJ» V'
What are the bugles blowin' for?" said Files-on-Parade.
To turn you out, to turn you out*9 the Color Sergeant said.
What makes you look so white, so white?" said Files-on-Parade.
I'm dreading what I've got to watch" the Color Sergeant said.
For they're hangin' Danny Deever, you can 'ear the Dead
March play,
The regiment's in 'ollow square—they're hangin' him today;
They've taken all his buttons off an' cut his stripes away,
An' they're hangin' Danny Deever in the mornin'.
"What makes the rear-rank breathe so 'ard!" said Files-on-
Parade.
"It's bitter cold, it's bitter cold," the Color Sergeant said.
"What makes that front-rank man tall down?" says Files-on-
Parade.
"A touch of sun, a touch of sun," the Color Sergeant said.
They are hangin' Danny Deever, they are mar chin' of 'im
around,
They 'ave 'alted Danny Deever by 'is coffin on the ground}
An' 'e'll swing in 'alt a minute for a sneakin', shootin'
hound . . .
O they're hangin' Danny Deever in the mornin'.
100
"'Is cot was right 'and cot to mine," said Files-on-Parade.
"E's sleepin' out an9 far to-night, " the Color Sergeant said.
"I've drunk 'is beer a score o' times," said Files-on-Parade.
"'E's drinkin' bitter beer alone," the Color Sergeant said.
They are hangin' Danny Deever, you must mark 'im in the
face;
Nine 'undred of 'is county an' the regiment's disgrace,
While they're hangin' Danny Deever in the mornin'.
"What's that so black agin the sun?" said Files-on-Parade.
"It's Danny fightin' 'ard for life," the Color Sergeant said.
"What's that that whimpers over 'ead?" said Files-on-Parade.
"It's Danny's soul that's passin' now," the Color Sergeant said.
For they're done with Danny Deever, you can 'ear the quick-
step play,
The regiment's in column, an' they're mar chin' us away;
Ho! the young recruits are shakin', an' they'll want their beer
today,
After hangin' Danny Deever in the mornin'.
SUSIE
1
;jf£^^ know Susie
WHO'S SORRY NOW?
Who's sorry now? Who's sorry now?
Whose heart is aching for breaking each vow?
Who's sad and blue? Who's crying too?
Just like I cried over you.
Right to the end,
Just like a friend,
I tried to warn you somehow.
You had your way,
Now you must pay;
I'm glad that you're sorry now.
103
Eastside, Westside, all around the town,
The tots sang "Ring-a-Rosie," "London
Bridge is falling down;
Boys and girls together, me and Mamie
O'Rorke,
Tripped the light fantastic, on the side
walks of New York.
Sweet Rosie O'Grady,
My dear little rose,
She's my steady lady,
Most everyone knows.
And when we are married,
How happy we'll be;
I love sweet Rosie O'Grady
And Rosie O'Grady loves me.
%
c
She's
my sweetheart, I'm her beau,
She's my Annie, I'm her Joe.
Soon we'll marry, never to part;
Little Annie Rooney is my sweetheart.
^
104
In
the good old summer time,
In the good old summer time,
Strolling down the shady lane with your
sweetheart mine;
She holds your hands and you hold hers,
And that's a very good sign
That's she's your tootsie-wootsie
In the good old summer time,
\
The Bow'ry, the Bow'ry,
They say such things, and they do such things
On the Bow'ry, the Bow'ry,
I'll never go there any more!
\ l ' 7/
e£2V
/
/ \
X
Daisy,
Daisy,
Give me your answer, do!
I'm half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet,
Upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two!
105
WALTZING MATILDA
Once a jolly stvagman sat beside the billabong
Under the shade of a koolabah tree,
And he sang as he sat and waited while his billy boiled:
You911 come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me.
(CHORUS)
Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda,
You9ll come a-waltzing Matilda with me,
And he sang as he sat and waited while his billy boiled:
You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me.
Down came a jumbuck to drink beside the billabong,
Up jumped the swagman and seized him with glee,
And he sang as he tucked that jumbuck in his tuckerbag:
You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
Down came the stockman riding on his ihorobred,
Down came the troopers—One, two, three!
Where's the jolly jumbuck you've got in your tuckerbag?
You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
Up jumped the swagman and plunged into the billabong.
You'll never catch me alive, said he.
And his ghost may be heard as you walk beside the billabong:
You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me.
(REPEAT CHORUS)
•Sfji/D F/toLLy,tfoTOt/£
Toi{ The 7Zom>
106
m
tint/it aMa^ulC/U Way
*
You're a grand old flag,
You're a high flying flag,
And forever in peace may you wave.
You're the emblem of the land I love,
The home of the free and the brave.
Every heart beats true,
Under red, white and blue,
Where there's never a boast or brag.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
Keep your eyes on the Grand Old Flag.
*
*
107
*
SWEET ADELINE^\^
Sweet Adeline, my Adeline,
night dear heart
For you I pine.
all my dreams
Your fair face beams}
You're the flower of my heart,
Sweet Adeline.
108
.'.
Jfi.
4? 0
*
' #
S '
' •
ALOHA-OE
Now our
golden days are at an end;
The parting hour is coming soon,
And we think while swift the moments pass,
How delightful has been our friendship's boon.
Farewell to thee, farewell to thee,
Our golden days are coming to an end;
But we will hope tor brighter days to come,
When friend shall meet with friend.
Farewell to thee, farewell to thee,
Thou charming one who dwells in shaded bowers
One fond embrace, e9er I depart,
Until we meet again.
109
e
a
s
Si
S
When I die, don't bury me at all,
Just pickle my bones in alcohpl
A scuttle of booze at my
And then my bones will surely
JrxoL
BAWDY-OR
THEREABOUTS
Old Grey Bustle . ., . ....... . 1
The Jigpoha Salt Mines ....... 2
Frustration................ ....... 3
The Student Wife's Lament..... ___
4
Hymn to a Matinee Idol ............................. 6
Down the Line........... 7
Lady Jane............ ....... 7
Brotherly Love »,....,.........,,,,,,,,.,.,. ,....... . 8
Lydia Pinkham........... . 9
Tim O'Brien's Song . .......
10
YouCan Easily Tell .... 11
Strawberry Blonde ........... , 11
Love Warning....... ....... ....... 12
Violate Me ..... ....... . 13
Ya Can't Come In . . ____ . ... 14
The Happy Bounding Flea ....... 14
The Sailor's Return................. ..... 15
Lil .......................;...:.................... 16
f Hate Romance ., . . 17
Oh Promise Me ___ ....... . . 17
The Tattooed Lady . ....... ..... 18
Who's the Big Bad Wolf ..... ...... . 19
11th Airborne Song . . . ... 20
Dear Uncle Joe .......... . 21
A Blue Book Tragedy . ... 22
Mary, Mary . . ........ ..... 23
Sultan Song . ...... 24
Nancy Brown ..... . 25
Ode to the Four Letter Words ...... . . 26
DRUNK—OR PRINKING
The Greatest Love . . , . ,...... .....
29
Old Soldiers Never Die . 30
The Formation Leader ....... . 31
Stand to Your Glasses Steady . . . . . 32
The Old Bombardment Group . ... . 33
The Duck Song ..... . 34
I've Only Been Down to the Club ..... . . ... 35
The Morning After .......... . . . . 36
Gentlemen Rankers . . 38
Cocaine Bill . ..... ..... 40
Hallelujah . 41
Whiskey O Whiskey 42
Farewell to Grog . ..... 44
MILITARY JIBE
The Glider Song..................................... 47
Bell Bottom Trousers (MATS Version)................. 48
I Have Returned..................................... SO
Secret Weapon of the Marines....... ................ SI
Jine 'Em All 52
Benning School for Boys............................. 54
The Service Boast................................... 55
Shanty Town ....................................... 56
Co-Pilot's Lament ___ ....... 57
The Aeroplane Commander ..... 58
Quartermaster Corps . . 60
The Grasshopper Song ..,.": . .61
Ask Me Where the Privates Are . ........ 62
Barnacle Bill, the Pilot 63
Hazy Mazy . 64
Washout Dirge ..... ... 64
Boots ... . .... .... . , ..... 65
ODD AND UNUSUAL
The Hermit of Shark Tooth Shoal 67
The Frozen North....... ... . 72
Samuel Hall . 73
Street Urchins' Medley ... ... 74
The Unreconstructed Rebel ... 75
Lovely Hula Hands . 76
Pat Malone Forgot That He Was Dead .'...■..... 78
Ao Zora . . . . . . . ..... 80
Song of the Philippines . . 81
The Eddystone Light . 82
Philippines . 83
OLDFAVOMTES
Molly Malone . 85
How Ya Gonna Keep'Em Down On the Farm ....... 86
Put On Your Old Grey Bonnet ___ 87
My Gal Sal ...... ..... ____ ..... 88
Roll 'Em Girls . 89
Mandalay , . 90
Moonlight Bay.................... 92
I've Got Six-Pence ..................... ___ . 93
Dear Old Girl 94
I'll Take the Leg From Off the Table 95
Abdullah Bui-Bat Amir 96
Loch Lomond ........ ..... 98
Titina ........... 99
Danny Deever ..... ............ ....... ... 100
Susie ........ ... 102
Who's Sorry Now . 103
Medley ..... 104
Waltzing Matilda ___ 106
You're A Grand Old Flag............................. 107
Sweet Adeline ..................................... 108
Aloha-Oe ...................... 109