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A. Dan McGrew
This is
a story of downfall and shame
The end in Alaska of a very proud name
The boys were all drinking and talking of ass
Of virgins and whores and rolls in the grass.
Of fairies and cocksmen and old moby dick
Who drove the girls crazy with a wart on his prick
Now over all this commotion
In the corner sparks flew
For there on the floor, on top of a whore,
Lay Dangerous Dan McGrew.
And out of the night as black as a bitch,
And into the din and the smoke,
Came shady old prick right up from the crick,
With a rusty old load in his poke.
He rolled out his cock to display to the flock
And every asshole squirmed
He drew from his belt a big bag of gold
And laid it down with a grin
He turned to the crowd and said in a loud voice:
"I've come to give Dangerous Dan a choice.
"This gold is for pleasure and I'm here to say
"I'll spend every nickel for one damned good lay
"So here's the deal straight and neat
"That girl you're on Dan or you in the seat"
A hush still as death came o'er that place
And the only smile seen was on the face
Of that old weezened stranger named Ace
The crowd sat and waited for Dan to get through
And the matter at hand between the two
"You'll not touch the girl while I'm still on hand."
Said the stranger, "Then it's your ass Dangerous Dan."
The crowd made clearing as the circle round
Each eyeing the other but neither gave ground
The lights went out, I ducked to the floor,
And the stranger sprang in the dark.
His aim was true
And the sparks they flew
When his donnicker found its mark.
Mid might and main and screams of pain
And a man's voice was heard in the room
There were sighs and moans and farts and groans,
And three bodies lay stacked in the gloom
Then a moan of delight mingled with pain
A scream, then a moan, again and again
The crowd was astounded as the lights were lit
And showed two men locked together all covered with shit
A figure arose from the two locked together
Staggered out of the bar and into the weather
With a satisfied look on his pan.
For there on the floor,
With his asshole tore,
Lay poor old Dangerous Dan.
B. Corn-holed Dan McGrew
A bunch of the boys were whooping it up
In one of them Yukon halls,
And the kid that handled the music box
Was stealthily scratching his balls.
The Frisco Kid has his hand on the tits
Of the lady that's known as Lou,
While there on the floor, on top of a whore,
Lay dangerous Dan McGrew.
Then out of the night that was black as a bitch
And into the din and the smoke,
Strode a rusty old prick with a crick in his dick
And a rusty old load in his poke.
His pants were spot and cover with spit
That looked like the white of an egg.
His balls hung low and swung to and fro
Whenever he moved his leg.
In his rugged old clothes he stood read to hose
Any bitch who wandered his way,
He beat on his meat, a most talented feat,
And shouted he wanted to play.
His face was as red as a baboon's ass,
And the passion within it burned.
He pulled out his dong; it was thick and was long,
And everyone's asshole squirmed.
He shouldered his way through the flea-bitten crowd,
His hand clutched the crotch of his pants,
And he looked like a man with a dose of the clap
In the last stage of St. Vitus' dance.
Then the lights went out and I dropped to the floor
As the stranger sprang in the dark.
There were sighs and moans and farts and groans
As his donicker found its mark.
The wind it blew and the shit it flew
And I looked 'about the darkened room,
And there on the floor, on top of the whore
Two forms were stacked in the gloom.
The lights came on and the stranger arose,
His cock hung limber and blue,
And there on the floor, on top of the whore,
Lay corn-holed Dan McGrew.
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