Here is a leaflet which was printed in Wisconsin during WWII.
HOO HOO
CLUB
NAME YOUR DRINK
OSHKOSH
SAVE ON RUBBER
KEEP 'EM FLYING
Try our Honeymoon Special
7UP-N-CIDER
HOW IT HAPPENED
Seven Wise men with knowledge fine,
To build a cunt was their only design,
The first was a carpenter, tall, lean and fit.
He with a hatchet, made the slit.
The second, a blacksmith black as coal,
He, with his sledge, made the hole,
The third was a tailor, tall and thin,
He with a piece of red flannel lined it within
The fourth was a furrier, short and stout,
He, with a bear skin, lined it without.
The fifth, a fisherman, old and bent,
He with an old stinky herring gave it a scent
The sixth, a preacher, a reverend D. D.
He felt it and smelled it and said it could pee.
The seventh, a Rabbi, the damned little runt,
He fucked it and blessed it and called it a cunt.
HEIL HITLER!
Here's to Hitler, on his last hitch
We are after him now the son of a bitch
His cock will hang like a rotten banana
When he hears us whistle "The Star Spangled Banner"
We will eat all his kraut and drink all his gin
And screw every princess in Berlin.
We will cut off his balls and split his bag
And wipe our ass on his German Flag.
We will walk in his palace and shit on his floor
And hang Old Glory right over his door
We will tear up his city and shit on the street
And piss on every German we happen to meet.
We will darken his honor and shorten his joy
And show him the spirit of the American boy
From the land of the free and the home of the brave
We will march down and shit on his grave.
They were twin brothers by the name of Jones. John was married and Joe
was
single. The single brother, Joe, was the owner of a dilapidated rowboat.
It so happened that the day John's wife died, his brother's boat sank. A
few
days later, a kindly old lady met Joe on the street and mistook him for his
brother,
John, saying, "Oh, Mr. Jones, I was so sorry to hear of your misfortune. You
must
feel terrible!"
Joe replied, "I'm not sorry. She was a rotten old thing from the start.
Her
bottom was all chewed up and she smelled of old dead fish, and even the
first time
I got into her, she made water faster than anything I have ever seen. She
had a
track end a pretty bad hole in front.
"The hole got bigger every time I used her. It got so I could handle her
al-
right but when anyone else used her, she leaked very bad. But this is what
finished
her: Four guys from the other side of town came down looking for a good
time. They
asked if they could rent her for a time. I warned them that she wasn't so
hot but
they said they would take a crack at her anyway. The result was, the crazy
fools all
tried to get into her at once: That was too much for her! She cracked right
up the
middle!
Before he could finish the old lady had fainted.
If every man were as true to his
country as they are to their wives
Good Bye Country—
CONFIDENTIALLY-
(Don't Say A Word!)
IF YOU HAD ANY LAST NIGHT
JUST SMILE!
A Toast to the Irish—Long Live the Irish
The first American soldier to kill a Jap was MIKE MURPHY.
The first American Pilot to sink a Jap Battleship was COLIN KELLY.
The first American Flyer to shoot down a Jap Plane was BUTCH O'HARE.
The first Coast Guardsman to shoot a German spy was JOHN CULLEN.
The first American soldier to be decorated by the President was PAT POWERS.
The first American Admiral to be killed leading his ship into actual battle was DAN CALLAHAN.
The first American ship to be named for brothers sacrificed in Naval combat was '"THE SULLIVANS."
AND
The first son of a bitch to get four tires from the rationing board was NATHAN GOLDSTEIN.
POOR OLD PETER
I'm growing old and feeble,
My pilot light is out:
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
I used to be embarrassed,
To make the thing behave:
For every single morning,
It stood up and watched me shave.
Now I am growing older.
And it sure gives me the blues:
To have the thing hang down my leg,
And watch me shine my shoes.
Several Insurance Agents were called to
New York to a Convention. Here is how a
stranger could tell which Company each
represented:
The 1st man slept with his wife, Home Insurance
The 2nd slept with his best girl,
Mutual Benefit
The 3rd slept with a chorus girl,
N.Y. Life
The 4th slept with his stenographer,
Employers Liability
The 5th slept with the chambermaid,
Travelers Aid
The 6th slept alone
John Hancock
I'M TIRED
I'm tired of Whiskey. I'm tired of Gin.
I'm tired of Virtue. I'm tired of Sin.
I'm tired of Pork Chops. I'm tired of Steak:
And when I have a Chill, I'm too tired to Shake.
I'm tired of Depression. I'm tired of Luck.
I had a Date last night and I was too tired to —
GENTLEMEN... I'M TIRED!!
If you take too much time to take a crap
You're winning the war for the god dam Jap.
If you take too much time to take a piss
Hitler will love the time you miss.
So shit in your pants, piss in your shoes,
And help win the war for the god dam Jews.
FAMILY TROUBLES
Home at last, it is a picture. Dark and silent as a tomb.
Susan's fellow has the stricture. Maud has falling of the womb.
Jim has got a dose of shankers, caught from brother Henry's wife
Maggie's ovaries are busted, and the cook has change of life.
Elsie, she has got a baby, and I don't know who is its dad.
Carrie has got the syphilis, and by gee she got it bad.
Johnny he is in the madhouse, and I guess he's there for good.
Doctor says that it was caused, by too much pulling of the pud.
Eddie he is busy digging, not potatoes but his brown.
I'll bet a silver dollar he's got all the crabs in town.
Father he has lost his manhood, Mother she has got the whites.
Someone must be fucking Laura, for she doesn't stay home nights
Aunt May was so fond of scratching, that she scratched a match
But alas her clothes caught fire, and burnt the hair off her snatch
Ruth has painful menstruation, not a soul around her smiles.
And most all the time I'm busy cracking ice for grandpa's piles.
Here are the full scans of the front and back of the tavern sheet:
